lonely patient

This cold came on fiercely. I don’t know if it was because of my poor health. After two days, I didn’t get better. I had a fever repeatedly, and my throat was so sore that I couldn’t speak. I had no choice but to put off work and rest at home.

On Friday afternoon, Luna sent over the documents that needed to be signed, and seriously suggested that I go to the hospital or ask a doctor to see it.

"I'm really fine." I sighed, signed the document and handed it to her, saying, "I'm much better today."

"Mr. Yan..." Luna knew that I don't like other people meddling in their business, so she thought about it and said, "I'm not at ease with your recent state."

What's my latest status?Aren't I doing pretty well recently? I've never worked so hard to make money when I grow up.As an assistant, you should feel relieved to see your boss so motivated, right?

Luna seemed to be able to see through what I was thinking. She was silent for a moment, and then suddenly said, "I was transferred from Mr. Yan five years ago, and I was reluctant at the time."

Although I don't know why she brought up something so long ago, I still said: "Understood, transferred from my brother to me, it feels similar to being relegated to the earth, right?"

Luna seemed to be caught in a distant memory, smiled lightly and said, "No, it's the same wherever you work. It's just that Mr. Yan said at the time that you were not emotionally stable. I was afraid that you would be spoiled by your family and anger the people around you for no reason. .Fortunately, when you are sad, you only torment yourself and never trouble us."

As she spoke, she looked at me, "At that time, you were not interested in anything, and your boredom was written on your face. Now, although you seem to be working hard and living a busy and fulfilling life, I can see that your sadness is no worse than It was rare at that time. But Mr. Yan, too many sad things accumulate, and it will overwhelm you.”

"I watched you get out with great difficulty, and I don't want to watch you sink in again."

Luna is rarely so emotional. I watched her lose her voice for a moment, and then said sullenly for a long time: "It's different."

Xu Yang used to be my lover who was going to accompany me into marriage, but Wen Luming...we didn't even have a romantic relationship.

"Just lost a bed partner, I..."

Am I not sad?I can't seem to fool myself.

"If it's just a bed partner, I won't go beyond the rules and say these things." Luna sighed softly, "My job is to solve any problems for you. If there is anything that bothers you, I am willing to share your worries."

I know I can trust Luna, she knows me better than my parents somehow, but...

"I don't know what to say, I'm still confused." I shook my head and said.

Wen Luming's sudden indifference and rejection caught me off guard. During this period of time, I recalled countless times what happened between us, but I still couldn't find any sign that he was going to leave me.

"It's not without warning, it's just that you don't care enough." Luna said.

"Speak it as if you understand it very well." I smiled pretending to be relaxed, "I have never seen you fall in love."

Luna said matter-of-factly: "Onlookers know, you don't have to be in a relationship to understand."

I nestled on the sofa with my knees in my arms, picked up the water glass and put it down again, looking at Luna who was opposite me, hesitant to speak.

After thinking for a long time, I asked: "If a person really loves another person, shouldn't he pursue persistently? Why would he give up?"

"Did he really give up?" Luna asked me back.

"I..." I hesitated, "I don't know, maybe."

"At the first time, Professor Wen proposed to end this relationship and didn't answer your calls for a long time." Luna began to help me analyze, "As he told you, this is a decision he made long ago. "

After such a long time, thinking of what Wen Luming said to me at that time, I still feel stuffy in my heart. I picked up the water glass on the coffee table and held it tightly, lowered my eyes and said, "Yes."

Luna went on to say: "I think it's because he has been preparing for a long time that this time he was particularly abrupt and resolute. But the second time, on New Year's Eve, after more than half a month of separation, Professor Wen's attitude was not so tough, because I can't bear to spend the holiday alone by yourself, so I invite you to go back to my parents' house with him."

"Is that so..." Luna's words gave me a little comfort.

I didn't tell her that we had sex that day, and with this in mind, Wen Luming might still have nostalgia for me.

"Then you're getting engaged and he calls you and gets mad," Luna said.

"He just asked me if I wanted the painting."

"Yan Qiao... President Yan," Luna sighed again, "Haven't you ever thought about why you didn't ask sooner or later, but why did you ask the day before your engagement?"

I thought about it, but broke up that day, and I didn't dare to continue thinking about it.

"Think again, did Professor Wen mention your engagement that day?"

"I mentioned...you mean, he couldn't help it?" I asked half-believingly.

Luna nodded, "And then, you called him late at night and asked him to pick you up, but he didn't refuse. After more than a month, he is no longer indifferent to you at the beginning, but is slowly willing to show you his emotions."

"Mr. Yan," Luna put everything in front of me, and said, "Indifference can be faked, but after a while, if Professor Wen really abandons you, he won't care about your engagement, and he won't be angry because of Jiang Han. .”

I've been in a mess these days, and it's only now that I've heard Luna finish talking that I've overlooked a lot of details.

At the beginning, Wen Luming said "no more", but the second meeting became "inappropriate", and the last meeting, he refused to answer my questioning, only saying that he couldn't hold on anymore.

He is guarding his defense line and retreating step by step. No matter where he retreats, he has never denied loving me from the beginning to the end.

It seems that I no longer resist the fact that he loves me. After many years, I feel a little lucky when I touch the word "love" again.

Fortunately, Wen Luming never gave up loving me even when he wanted to give up on me.

"But why is he..." I looked at Luna for help.

"I don't know." Luna said sincerely, "Maybe only you and Professor Wen know what happened between you. If you want to chase him back, you should first figure out what he cares most about."

Do I want to chase him back... I suddenly felt a burst of nervousness, as if I had returned to the youngest age, and felt at a loss when facing liking and love for the first time.

Something broke through the years of snow and came back to life from the bottom of my heart.

"When we are together, he always takes care of me and accommodates my feelings. I don't seem to care about what he likes and what he doesn't like." Thinking of Wen Luming, regret and self-blame strangled me like an invisible rope Tight, "I didn't know until we separated that he didn't have a temper, he would get angry too, but he was willing to bear it for me before, but now he doesn't."

"He hates other people's pheromones in me, and he hates me being entangled with those people, I should have known." I looked down at my fingers and muttered, "But I'm still engaged to someone else, and still Let him catch me with Jiang Han. He must be very disappointed in me and never want to forgive me."

"Forgive or not, you will know if you try it." Luna said patiently, "Although I don't know how to fall in love, so many years of work experience tell me that after finding a problem, I should solve it instead of letting it continue to ferment."

Realizing that I was spiraling into useless self-pity, I forced a smile and said, "Sorry, I haven't been in a good mood lately."

"It's okay, it's understandable that you tend to be sensitive and vulnerable when you're sick." Luna said, "I hope you will take care of your body first."

"I see." I thought for a while, "Thank you."

After Luna left, I sat on the sofa for a long time.

The water in the glass gradually became cold, I took a sip, frowned, and put it back on the table.There was a crisp bang when the glass touched the table, I was stunned, and looked up to see the dim sky outside the window.

The phone at hand rang, and I picked it up, and Jiang Han's voice came from inside: "Brother Yan, my classmates and I rehearse the homework for the acting class, and it may be late today."

There was youthful vigor in his voice, and I unconsciously showed a relieved smile and said, "Well, I just happen to be going back."

—Those young and fresh flowers may be very good, but they are not what I want after all.

I should embrace my rose.

"Go back?" Jiang Han was slightly taken aback.

"Thank you for taking care of me these days." I said.

There was a moment of silence on the phone, and he said, "Is it because... that Mr. Wen?"

I didn't deny it, Jiang Han went on to say: "Actually, I can tell, you look at him very differently. When the two of you are together, even if it is a quarrel, it seems that there is no room for others to intervene."

"Yeah." I smiled, "but he's mad at me."

"You are like this, how can you not be angry..." Jiang Han muttered in a low voice, and then smiled heartlessly, "Then I won't go back to see you off, I wish you a happy marriage for a hundred years!"

The setting sun came in, coating everything in the room with a layer of fluffy soft light. I walked to the floor-to-ceiling windows and looked at the rose-colored sunset beyond the horizon. For the first time, I felt that "a happy marriage for a hundred years" is such a gentle word.

"Thank you." I said softly.