lonely patient

I don't seem to be doing much better than last time.

He was already inexperienced, and after being separated from him for so long, he had neither touched nor been touched by others, so his movements had already become jerky.

I thought I could, but it's still difficult.

The rationality in Wen Luming's eyes was gradually replaced by desire. He stroked my hair and called my name in a low voice.

I like to hear his voice at this time, hoarse and deep, sexy and forbearing, every heavy gasp beats in my body, awakening my sleeping desire.

I was not soothed, but pleased just as much.

Later I sat face to face on his lap, and he hugged me, stroked the corner of my sore mouth, and asked me if I was tired.Feeling ashamed after knowing it, I buried my eyes in his shoulder and shook my head, asking, "Do you like it?"

"I like it." He said in a low voice, "Thank you for your hard work, baby."

Baby... I didn't expect someone to call me baby at this age.

In my memory, my parents never barked, and Yan Song didn't know how to bark. Xu Yang occasionally barked a few times as a joke, but he never used such a serious tone.

I felt even more embarrassed all of a sudden, and whispered, "How old am I..."

Wen Luming rubbed the hair on the back of my head: "This is the advantage of finding an older partner. No matter how old you are, I will always be a few years older than you, so you will always be a baby."

"But you've never called it that before," I said.

"I wasn't sure you were mine before." Wen Luming sighed lightly, "I wanted to call you baby, and I also wanted to call you Qiao Qiao, but those are only names between lovers, and I'm not qualified."

"So you see me as a lover now?" I asked.

Wen Luming didn't answer right away, but said, "At least now I know you won't leave again."

"Teacher Wen..." I closed my eyes and said, "I love you."

Wen Luming's body froze for a moment, as if hearing this sentence for the first time, the movements of his hands also froze.

"I love you," I said again, "I would do anything for you."

The air froze for a long time, Wen Luming said, "I heard it."

It's not "I love you too"... I was briefly disappointed, and then I thought about it.

I think going abroad may be a good choice, Wen Luming and I need a chance to start over.

The first chemotherapy a few days later is still in the current hospital. Wen Luming still has a last bit of work to do. We plan to leave after finishing this time.

The process was not as difficult as I imagined. I took antiemetics in advance, and no matter how sick I was, I just retched and couldn't vomit anything.But later on, my body temperature rose, and unknown sores began to appear all over my body, and any slight smell would make me dizzy and nauseated.

The side effects didn't really appear until I went home the next day.

I became extremely sensitive to smells, wanted to vomit at any time, had no appetite at all, and found it difficult to even drink water.Severe retching kept forcing tears, my eyes were red and swollen, but my face was as white as a ghost, when I saw myself in the mirror when I was awake, my self-loathing and self-abandonment almost broke my spirit, and I felt irritable for no reason , Want to throw things, want to lose your temper.

Fortunately, I was not awake much, and I fell asleep intermittently. Wen Luming was always with me, hugging and comforting me patiently.Sometimes I feel so bad that I can’t bear it anymore, and I would say that I don’t want to treat him anymore, but seeing his distressed and disappointed look, I would feel guilty again and apologize to him in a low voice.

"Yan Qiao..." He hugged me tightly and said, "It's okay, I'm here."

I felt his kiss land on my forehead, then my eyes and the tip of my nose. When I was about to kiss my lips, I turned my head subconsciously to avoid the kiss.

Even in the chaos and pain, I still think of Xia Yi's words, and Wen Luming kissed him once.

When I'm sober I can convince myself I don't mind, but now, I can't fight my instincts.

Wen Luming noticed my movements and didn't speak for a long time.

This symptom lasted for several days. Sometimes I was so nauseous that I would suspect that I smelled Xia Yi’s pheromone somewhere in the house, so the desire to vomit became stronger. I had to cover myself in a thick quilt to stop Cut off all suspicious smells from the outside world.

The persistent low-grade fever was also torturing my will. When Wen Luming pulled me out of the quilt, I was drenched in sweat and so weak that I was about to dehydrate.

"Teacher Wen." I opened my eyes and said weakly.

Wen Luming handed the water glass to my lips and said, "Come and drink some water."

I opened my mouth and bit the straw, took a few sips and shook my head, "No more."

"How about something to eat today?" he asked.

After a few days of infusion of nutrient solution, I became thinner and thinner. My resistance to food was almost instinctive. I shook my head and said, "I don't want to eat."

"It can't go on like this." Wen Luming sighed softly, "Be obedient, Qiao Qiao."

The sudden nickname made me stunned, and even my physical discomfort seemed to have eased. I looked at Wen Luming, blinked my eyes in disbelief, and opened my mouth to say something but couldn't say it.

"Is red date yam porridge okay?" he asked.

I nodded.

Wen Luming was cooking, I sat wrapped in a blanket at the door of the kitchen, staring at a certain corner inside.These days, I don’t even care about Belle. She seems to be quite human. She knows that I’m not feeling well, so she doesn’t pester me to play with her. She only quietly accompany me when I occasionally stay in the living room.

Now it is also lying at my feet, revealing its snow-white and furry belly, gently rubbing against my ankle with its head.

I stroked its belly and said, "You are so good."

Wen Luming turned to look at us and said, "Both are very good."

Belle probably saw that I was feeling better, so she began to grab my leg and try to crawl into my arms. I picked it up and put it on my lap, and said, "You should lose weight, baby."

The puppet was originally considered a big cat, and Wen Luming took good care of it. It had been a few months since I hadn't seen it.But the princess couldn't say no, she meowed loudly at me when she mentioned losing weight.

"Hold it and put it down, it's too heavy." Wen Luming said.

I said helplessly: "How can I be so delicate."

The fragrance of rice wafted out from the kitchen, Wen Luming took out a lotus root, and took out the soaked glutinous rice, seeing my doubts, he took the initiative to say: "Yesterday I bought sweet-scented osmanthus sauce, and I will make you some candied lotus root for dinner. "

Candy lotus root... I don't know if it's a coincidence or he remembered it, but I suddenly felt sour.

"Have you done it for Xia Yi too?" I blurted out and asked.

Wen Luming paused, then turned to look at me, "Yan Qiao..."

"Sorry……"

"I'm very busy with work. Before I was with you, I basically ate in the cafeteria. Except for you, I didn't cook for anyone." He said calmly.

"But you still let Xia Yi live in your house." I didn't dare to question Wen Luming directly, and looked away and said, "There are so many hotels outside, why does he insist on staying at your house?"

Wen Luming hesitated to speak, and finally sighed and said: "I didn't think about this matter. At that time, I thought that although it was an agreement to marry, I still have a certain responsibility to him, so I don't ask too much. Neither refused."

I want to ask him if this kind of request is not too much, the two of them are not yet married, and Omega lives in Alpha's house, who can not think too much about it?

The air fell into silence for a while, and I was not in the mood to speak any more. I lowered my head and touched Belle's chin again and again.

After a while, Wen Luming probably noticed that I was depressed, so he changed his tone more relaxed and said, "I was as angry as you when I saw that little actor last time. Can you understand now, I heard Lin Chen, Jiang Han, Song Qianyu's mood when they were named."

I didn't expect that he still remembered these names, and was speechless for a moment.After a long while, he said sullenly, "I won't do it in the future."

"I won't either." He came over, bent over and stroked my hair, and touched Belle in my arms, "I don't mean to blame you, after all, it's all in the past. But in the future , Yan Qiao, I will do what I promised you, and you will do what you promised me."

I think these things must have been buried in Wen Luming's heart for a long time, so I still can't forget them.I must have hurt him a lot in the past that I didn't care about.

"Yeah." I nodded, "I'll do it."