Two small without dismantling

Pat's perspective

The pungent smell of alcohol spread in the air, and the pain in the corners of my mouth and cheekbones made me very awake. The middle-aged man punched me in the eye sockets, and the surrounding area was swollen.It was painful, but I endured it all and didn't fight back.When he heard his wife screaming, Pran's father rushed to Pran's room on the second floor, and what he saw was his son and the annoying boy next door were grabbing their underwear and putting them on, Pran's Dad was so angry that his blood was welling up, and his eyes were full of gold stars.

Pran and I were naked, hugging each other, everything that happened last night was like a dream, so beautiful that we don't want people to wake up.

But when the morning sun shines through the clouds, no one can escape the cruel reality.

I sighed, my mother was standing not far away, sucking her nose, and the sound of sobbing echoed in the room, my father folded his hands on his chest, his expression was very bad, the accident this time was more serious than ever before.Only Phu was treating my wound with a worried face, and it seemed that he was really worried about me.

"When did you guys start, Pat."

I raised my head so that my sister could help my sister treat the wound, then raised my hand to expose the scrape on my elbow, Phu gasped, picked up a little ointment with my fingertips, and rubbed it on me carefully and with full concentration .

"Dad, why are you asking this?"

"I raised you, because I didn't do it well enough, let you mix with that little bastard, and even do such shameful things, what are you doing alive!"

"A person like you who only has prejudice in his heart is living his life in vain."

"Pat! You bastard!"

If my mother hadn't grabbed my father's clothes, I might have been choked by my father, and my mother was still whimpering. Since I can remember, this is probably the first time I saw my mother cry because of me.

"We both loved each other and we didn't hurt anyone."

"Look at how your mother is crying. You still have the face to say that you didn't hurt anyone?"

"Mom... probably cried because she still hated Pran."

"Don't talk about it here and there, don't change the subject, do you know where you are wrong?"

"I'm very disappointed, because I'm not a good son in the hearts of my parents! I don't hate Pran, I don't hate Pran like my father hates him, I don't like Punch, I don't like Punch like my mother arranged, I'm very disappointed Well, because I have my own thoughts and emotions, I am a real person!"

"It's not crazy now, but a little rational."

"Dad, you are the irrational person."

"That's enough!" Mom roared, and Dad and I were already blushing, and both of us were a little speechless.In such a tense and tense moment, I am a little worried about Pran. I feel guilty because of my arrogance. last second.

My relationship with Pran, sooner or later, sooner or later, in one way or another, it will happen.

"It's too much for you to say that about a child. Pat is just a passing errand in adolescence."

When my mother walked towards me, Phu backed away. My mother came over and grabbed my hand. My eyes and nose were still red, and I felt guilty about her all over my body. Tears, keep the tears from falling on the floor, and kneel down to my mother.

"Mom, I'm sorry, but I really love Pran."

"Pat...don't say such stupid things, you are all boys, how can boys and boys have such thoughts?"

"I was serious."

"Don't let me hear you say that again, do you want your mother to die?"

"I don't want it to turn out like this, but I'm already in love with Pran, just like mom you love dad, love Pran like a normal person loves another person, mom you understand me, Is it right?"

This middle-aged woman shook her head. For her, this is a very difficult thing to accept, but I still hope... I hope that the person who loves me the most can understand me.

"As long as I don't want to break up with Pran, I can do anything. I will do other things as my mother tells me."

"No, Pat, this is something that teens are curious about, and my kids are not gay."

"but I……"

"Mom can't accept it." The heat in my chest climbed to my eye sockets, my heart hurt like a knife, big drops of sweat fell instead of tears, my eyes were blurred and I couldn't see anything clearly, I moved my eyes to the other side, just in case I cried out in front of my parents...but in the end, the pain in my heart turned into tears and fell to the ground.

"Just treat it for Mom, okay Pat? Let the past be a nightmare."

"This is not a dream!"

"Pat! How did you talk to Mom!" Dad's furious voice came, mixed with Mom's choking voice, and I also felt physically and mentally tortured.My mother may feel that the sky is falling, and my father clenched his fists tightly. We are the same family, but now no one understands the other, "Go to the guest room to sleep tonight, and put away the things you need first. Slowly move all your things there tomorrow morning, and your room will be locked by mom."

"Mom, don't treat me like this."

"I have to do this! This is the way every mother would choose! How do you want me to convince myself to accept that my child has become like this!"

I pursed the corners of my mouth tightly, and my younger sister also had an expression of disapproval on my continuing to argue with my mother. My mother took a big gulp of air to keep herself rational, but in the end it was my father who was still furious.

"Hand over your phone!"

"I won't pay!"

"Phu, go get it." Phu sighed helplessly after hearing this, then stood up and stretched out his hand to me. Phu didn't dare to disobey my father's order, and I also couldn't refuse my sister, and couldn't make things difficult for her.

"Brother, please calm down first." When my sister came to get my mobile phone, she lowered her head and whispered to me quietly, the volume was so low that only the two of us could hear it.In the end, my phone was confiscated, and my room seemed unable to continue to serve as a bridge between me and Pran.

There is nothing to love.The beating frequency of the heart has slowed down, as if it has been tortured, and it will completely declare a strike in the next second.I was locked in a cage, and the pain was killing me bit by bit, bit by bit...

"From today, you are not allowed to step out of the house, unless you go out with Punch."

"Even if you already know that I can't fall in love with Punch?"

"You just didn't try hard to love her." The stern and ruthless voice sounded, and Punch and I have never truly loved each other for a moment.

"Dad also knows that liking someone also requires hard work."

"I don't think there's anything about Punch that isn't good enough, or that there's something that keeps you from falling in love with her."

"Because I'm already in love with someone else!"

"Why don't you understand that the things you do are fruitless! They can't be called love! Mom and Dad have eaten more salt than you have eaten rice. How can we not see that your little tricks are rebellious. "Dad is still furious, just like in the past hour, his face is flushed, judging from his tone, demeanor and actions, Dad's anger has not diminished in the slightest, "Tomorrow, I will go to DuangKmn's house to discuss your marriage. "

"dad!"

"I just want you to know that when you get married, will the man you keep saying you can't forget really be unforgettable!"

"Dad, this doesn't solve anything at all!"

"Then give it a try," my father stared at me with black eyes, and his tone revealed undeniable firmness, "Also, I also want to know, is it because Pakorn gave birth to someone to send his son to?" Do you want to be a concubine at home?!"

After finishing speaking, my father left, and I was the only one who stayed where I was. My father’s words struck me like a bolt of lightning, and the pain hit me all over my body. .

When night falls, the only thing to do is to lie in the guest room and stare at the ceiling above your head in a daze.The next day, the first ray of dawn came as expected, and the lights in my room were already on all night.From here, I couldn't see Pran's house, not even a single brick or tile, and my feeling at this time was like the eaves that were covered, like being in a prison, and the torment was unbearable.

The sun was getting more and more poisonous, and there was a cautious knock on the door. I didn't answer but I didn't refuse. The person outside the door came in cautiously, it was Phu.She sat down at the end of the bed, very close to me, and a long sigh sounded.

"Mom asked me to ask you to go downstairs for dinner. I'm going to Punch's house at noon, and I'll go to the mall to buy gifts for Aunt Duang at ten o'clock."

"I'm not hungry."

"Brother, you haven't eaten all day."

"Not hungry."

"Don't break the can."

I didn't answer Phu, but I was still thinking about the person I held in my arms, how is he doing now, is it uncomfortable?Have you ever called me? "Lend me your phone, Phu."

"I lent you the phone, you have to go down to eat, and then have a good talk with mom."

"Phu, you know what's going on now."

"This situation is what you and Brother Pran should have known a long time ago. As long as you are together, it will happen." Phu sighed while talking, "I'm not saying that you did something wrong, but our two families used to That’s the relationship, brother, if you imagine that your parents will change because of you, it’s just a dream, even if Brother Pran is a girl, it’s very difficult to do it. What’s more, now you release two sledgehammers at once—— One is that the boy you like is a boy, and the other is that the boy you like is the son of that family whose parents hate it."

"It's not fair."

"I'm on your side," Phu rarely supported what I did, but everything he said just now was exactly what Phu really thought, "Brother, you also have to give your parents a little time, first talk to sister Punch Look around, let your parents know that you can't be with Sister Punch even if you work hard, it's better to stick your neck and say you can't do it."

"But Pran..."

"No matter how stubborn you are, nothing will change."

I don't understand why love is so complicated and difficult.

"Do you want to talk to Brother Pran on the phone?" I nodded, Phu sighed, and handed me the mobile phone that I brought upstairs, "I can't make Brother Pran talk on the phone often, because I'm afraid that Dad will be suspicious. Son... you go downstairs to eat."

My heart was wet the moment I got the communication tool, Phu got up and left the room, leaving a private space for me to talk with Pran on the phone.When I dialed the phone, my chest trembled violently again, and it took a long time before Pran's voice came from the other end of the phone.

[Phu, what's wrong? ]

"It's me, my dad confiscated my phone, how are you, Pran?"

[Is it badly hurt? ]

"It's not heavy... It's 8000 meters away from my heart." I tried to say something nonsensical as usual, just when the corner of my mouth smiled, my vision became blurred, and I realized that I was crying after I wiped my face.The breathing on the other end of the phone turned into a low whimper, Pran didn't speak, all I could hear was his suppressed sobs, he sucked in big gulps to keep himself from crying.

"Pran, don't cry."

[I'm not crying. ] Although he said so, the voice from the phone was intermittent and fragmented.I rested my head on my knees, feeling that all the strength in my body was drained, like a person walking in a maze, with no sunlight and no way out, and what I was stepping on was a cliff.

"Did your father say anything?"

[same as before. ]

"sorry."

[Well, you should say sorry. ]

"I'm really sorry."

This time Pran didn't refute me anymore, neither of us talked anymore, we just quietly listened to the sound of breathing on the other end of the phone, as if this would relieve our pain to some extent.

It made me feel... at this moment... like a person with scars all over his body, with only one breath left, lingering on his last breath.

"I love you, Pran."

[Why keep talking. ]

"I have to say it every day. If I don't say it one day, I will drown myself in love."

Pran smiled softly, but it didn't sound like he was smiling.I wanted to take care of him and be there for him more than ever.He was so vulnerable that I couldn't talk myself out of seeing him, and now he was nothing like the hard-talking Pran I knew.

[Pat, are you not going back to your bedroom?The lights haven't been on since last night. ]

"I was forced to change rooms, and that room was locked."

[I said, I thought it was simply changing rooms with Phu. ]

"Well, beyond imagination."

[Fortunately, I don't have a spare room in my house, and I can still see the window of your room in my own room. Someday, please ask Phu to go over and open your curtains. ]

"But I don't live anywhere anymore."

Pran's voice stopped abruptly, he didn't say he missed me, but I heard his silent missing when listening to the electric current on the phone, those invisible emotions, obviously intangible, silent, but strange Unfortunately, the mind can perceive everything, "Pran, I will find a way to get out."

[Um. ]

"But today my mother is going to discuss about getting married," my voice got smaller and smaller, this news may be another thunderbolt for Pran, but I still hope that Pran heard this from me, "I hope I can tell you that I will pretend to be obedient and do what my mother tells me, so that she can relax her vigilance against me, and then we will solve this problem together."

[Um. ]

"Don't just say 'um'."

[Then what do you want me to say? ]

"Say you love me, isn't it okay?" I asked him back, I really wanted to hear Pran say this, although I couldn't meet, but it was good to hear Pran's voice, he smiled lowly, But I didn't get what I wanted to hear, "Pran."

[You really want what you want. ]

"That's my strength."

[Called disadvantage here in my house. ] From the voice, I feel that Pran's mood is a little better than before, and I also relax a little, [What time are you going out later? ]

"Maybe you have to get ready when you hang up the phone."

[Then you go, your parents should be suspicious later. ]

I agreed with my mouth, but I couldn't hang up the phone for a long time, and fell silent again, and Pran also couldn't bear to cut off this rare opportunity to talk.

[Pat. ]

"I'm here."

[You want me to say 'I love you', and if all I reply is 'um', will you be offended? ]

"No." I smiled, and I don't know how many times I laughed during the phone call. This smile is also a sincere smile after suffering from depression, "Thank you, Pran."

Thank you for letting me know that my heart can still beat for someone.

Compared with other surrounding houses, Punch's house in the city center is very large and very tall.I don't remember things clearly when I was a child, and when I grew up, I only visited Aunt Duang two or three times. Punch is wearing a knee-length skirt today, and he is moving things to the back of the house with his helper according to his aunt's instructions.

This informal meeting of parents kicked off with the greetings among the elders. They chatted about trivial matters, from the company to the gifts they brought.I only now know that Punch and Aunt Duang live together, so Punch's future and Punch's marriage are all arranged by the mother as an agent, and Aunt Duang started preparations when she was still adolescence. Punch doesn't talk much herself, but she doesn't like to express her opinions at any time, so so far, I'm the only one who doesn't approve of this wedding.Now, the topic on the dinner table naturally still revolves around the topic of my wedding with Punch.

"Pat has graduated now, and I will go to get my diploma in October." My mother opened the topic with her son, and she glanced at me as she spoke. And what I call "good" is not talking, controlling myself, not thinking about my feelings, and trying to ignore it.

"Punch won't be available until the end of this year. It's still early. When is Pat going? Let Punch accompany you to get things."

"How embarrassing is this? Sister Duang, I say that I don't like these messy procedures, and I have to rehearse the reception ceremony and make clothes. I'm so bored. I really want him to participate, but he Don't listen, you don't understand at all."

"It's always like this for children. Punch also said that he didn't want to go to the graduation ceremony. It was too much trouble to go back and forth. I applied to a school in a foreign government, but now I have to let her go by herself."

"Punch is a sensible child, so don't worry too much about her. Speaking of which, after she graduates, is she coming back to help her sister manage the business together?"

"I'm going to ask her to help me manage the accounts," the aunt said modestly, then took a spoon from the helper and filled everyone with rice, and poured water for everyone. Starting from finance, the career in my mother's hands is enough for her to learn."

"I really want to let her go and make her own way, but my daughter has never even talked loudly to others, and I'm afraid she won't be able to shake it. I still hope to have a son-in-law to help me."

"Isn't it just when drowsiness meets a pillow?"

The topic gradually got on the right track, and the smile on the corner of my mother's mouth became more and more sweet. From time to time, I glanced at my fiancée. She didn't show any obvious excitement or surprise, and she just sat quietly, as if she knew about it a long time ago. It's the same as the purpose of my parents coming to eat this meal today.

"Then since both of us have the same intention, why don't we go find a monk tomorrow and match their horoscopes, Sister Duang, what do you think?"

"Hey! Why are you so impatient, Kaew?" Aunt Duang giggled, but she didn't object, "Is there any objection to the children, they just came back and don't know each other well."

"It will take several months to prepare for the wedding. Sister, I am impatient, and Nui also means the same. Such a good daughter-in-law is hard to find with a lantern. Punch, what do you mean, child? Auntie is too In a hurry?"

A weak answer, without expressing any point of view.I looked at the girl on the opposite side, the blood color climbed up her cheek little by little, and then I looked down, staring at the white plate in front of me, trying my best not to lose my composure.

"I can do it all, it's all up to the elders to decide."

If I were a bird, it was a bird with a broken wing.

If I were a piece of sky, it would also be a fixed and flowing imitation sky.

After returning from Aunt Duang's house to my own, I sat in a daze all the time, my mind was in chaos, and the road ahead was dark.I can't find a way to appease both families.If one side is water, the other side is fire. As long as both sides are still breathing, there is no way that water and fire can be compatible and live in peace.

Phu sat on my bed as before, reaching out to touch my shoulders, the communication between me and my parents became shorter and shorter, and a lot of words were finally swallowed into my stomach together with my breath, and now it is the same with my sister, just like two It's like a soul has been stripped away.

"Brother, take your time with Brother Pran, don't worry, the boat will be straight when it reaches the bridge."

I closed my eyes, and this light and unhelpful comfort went in my left ear and out of my right ear, and I felt pain and discomfort all over my body.The "rhetoric words" that I vowed to Pran that I would solve everything before were so pale and illusory at the moment.Zeng Jin also firmly believes that he is omnipotent, indestructible, unstoppable, unparalleled in intelligence, can do whatever he wants, and can do everything he wants to do.

But today I realized that compared to being scarred and desolate, being imprisoned is more painful and unbearable.

What's more, with my "single strength", I can't even find a way out for him.

At [-]:[-] in the morning, Phu had gone back to his room. It was agreed that I would pick up Aunt Duang and Punch from Aunt Duang's house at [-]:[-] this morning. The god Aunt Duang believed in was on the outskirts of the city, so she had to go early to arrive before eleven noon.The marriage between me and Punch has been settled after a long discussion between the parents of both parties, and I am already doomed.And the solution I came up with is: pack some necessities and clothes in the backpack and run away. The money in the card adds up to more than [-] baht. If I rent a smaller house, I will go out to find a job during the period. , basically it can be maintained for a period of time, or if it doesn't work, take Pran to a friend's house to hide for a while.

After that, I carefully speculated that if my father's reaction after he found me after I escaped, the reason he used might be that I was obsessed with ghosts, and then I might have to sacrifice my life, eat or drink, and protest with my life.I've been thinking hard about the relationship between me and Pran for two days. At this time, because I haven't eaten anything, my stomach is already hungry, and the big stomach is protesting.

At that point, it is really desperate, there is no way out.

Once this happened, everything really changed.

This feeling of loneliness, like being abandoned and betrayed by the family, for me is all about Pran—my future, the person I want to spend my life with.Although this sounds like something out of a TV series, it is absolutely impossible for me to marry someone else and hurt Pran.Even if I go all the way to the dark, I will go on without hesitation.

I still have my hands, I still have my arms, I still have my feet, and I can get out of this.

Even if I hit my head badly, even if I failed miserably, it's better than watching my heart be riddled with pain and doing nothing.

The house is quiet, without any sound, just like my peaceful and lonely heart.In just a few minutes, I walked out of this door lightly. I stood in a corner of the house and saw that the light in Pran's room was still on.However, if I tried to climb up to the roof to find Pran here, or throw a rock to get Pran's attention, I would definitely wake up the rest of the family.

I quickly unlocked the lock, and there was nothing unusual at the other end of the aisle. I lowered my footsteps and walked gently along the wall into my parents' room, then locked the door back as it was, intending to find The mobile phone that left only returned Pran and asked him to come out and find me.

When the next ray of sunlight hits the ground, only Pran is left in my world.

And I will use all my strength to protect our love and prevent those who try to separate us from succeeding.