Two small without dismantling

Pran Perspective

I found one thing in this strange country, that is, in this country which is dozens of degrees lower than my motherland latitude, as long as I walk on the road and see a tall, fair-skinned person with light-colored pupils, It will let me know how good a person I am at hiding my emotions.

I can be like other normal people, I can laugh happily because of funny things, I can also laugh and chat with others like a person who has nothing to do, I can even go to bed on time every day, and I can eat on time in order to live in this world , I am no different from a normal person.

Even if my body has no heart at all, it doesn't make any difference...

Since I came to this country, I have two very strange habits. The first one is that I always wear a watch with a different time from the local time. Every time I see the time on the watch, I think of That person, that one in another time zone.And the second thing is I'm the one who can't sleep without holding the doll or seeing that face.

knock knock...

"Pran."

Hearing the sound outside the door, I took my eyes off my doll and placed it on the side of the pillow before getting up to open the door.

"Brother Pong, hello."

"Lita made some apple pie and brought it here today, would you like to come out and eat some with me? Also, I want you to sit down and chat with me for a while, don't stay in the room all day long, you How can this ghost look like this?"

The girl named Lita that Brother Pong mentioned just now is another Englishman who lives in this room. She likes cooking very much. She gave us these foods just for practice, but she sometimes practiced those operations It's pretty easy to blow up the kitchen, sometimes it's completely mushy, and occasionally some raw flour sticks to it.

"Okay." After I finished speaking, I walked to the edge of the sofa and sat down, looking at the apple pie on the table exuding a charming fragrance.When I sat down, Brother Pong took a blanket to cover my legs, and then he handed me a fork. I stretched out my hand and forked a piece of apple pie, carefully putting it into my mouth.Fortunately, what she made this time can be called delicious.

"Pran..."

"what happened?"

"You have been here for several months, have you adapted?"

I looked up into my brother's eyes, and it seemed that he had vaguely sensed the unspeakable difficulties I had when I came from Thailand. Even though my brother became depressed and not talkative, he never opened his mouth asked me anything.

"It's okay, I'm getting used to it."

"really?"

"Yeah, why do you ask that? Don't I look happy at all?" I laughed out loud, trying to look happy.

"Indeed." It seems that my disguise was not very successful this time, "You don't look happy at all."

"I'm actually fine, there's nothing wrong with it."

"It seems that you don't really want to talk about this matter, and I won't ask you any more...but you have been here for several months." He looked at me and said, "I'm really worried about you."

"..."

"Pran, you can tell me if you have any questions, did you have a fight with your uncle?"

"Did my dad say something to Brother Pong?"

"Your dad didn't tell me anything, he just told me to take good care of you, and then told me not to follow your temper too much and let you do whatever you want."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, judging from the situation I'm chatting with you now, the relationship between you and your uncle is very tense, right? Have you talked to your family on the phone since you came here?"

"I've had family calls," but not my dad. "My mom calls once a week."

"So have you talked to your dad?"

"not at all.""

"Let me just say, you're such a stubborn guy."

"Brother Pong, I'm such a stubborn person," I continued with a smile, "but no matter how stubborn I am, I haven't come to this place yet."

"It's really stubborn, but you are so stubborn that you make yourself a little too quiet, and your eyes have completely lost the brilliance of the past."

"I have to be stubborn about some things, Brother Pong, you don't know anything."

After listening to me, the person next to me just opened his mouth, smiled lightly and stretched out his hand to touch his head.Looking at my brother like this, I don't know why I have a little desire to start talking to him.

"I really don't know anything, but you can tell me."

"Brother Pong, do you remember Pat?"

"Pat?" The person next to me raised his eyebrows in surprise, and then sat quietly beside him, seeing that he should be searching for something in his mind, "Is this person you are talking about your neighbor?" , the one where we used to climb over the wall and throw branches there when we were kids?"

"My God, when did that happen? Brother."

The person next to me couldn't help chuckling, nodded and said as if holding back a smile. "At that time, both of us were still thinking about climbing to a higher tree, but we both fell down together, so let's forget it, right?"

"Brother Pong..."

"Okay, okay, I see, in general, I remember who the person you mentioned is, and then, why did you say that?" I pursed my lips and looked at the face of the person next to me, and couldn't help but Sighing deeply, I saw the person next to me raised his eyebrows again, "You really said it."

"At once...."

"What are you going to say? Hesitating." I wanted to say it according to my own thoughts, but when I opened my mouth, I couldn't say it for some reason. My voice seemed to be swallowed by something. Same, no sound at all. "Hey, why do you have such a stinky expression?"

"It's just...Me and Pat love each other."

"Are you in love?" Brother Pong asked with a puzzled look on his face, "Don't you two hate each other?"

"It used to be like that."

"Then what?"

"But we didn't hate each other anymore."

Brother Pong fell silent, and I was also silent, neither of us spoke.The person next to me frowned, as if he was thinking about something, until he loosened his frown and asked in a confirming tone, "What kind of love is the love between the two of you?"

"To be in love is to be in love, brother, if we are just friends, I might not use the word love."

"Okay, I'm very clear now, so this matter is the reason for your quarrel with your uncle, right?"

I nodded, but didn't intend to explain anything.

Now Brother Pong also started to become another person sighing in the room.He was leaning back on the chair with a preoccupied look on his face, but I really felt that I was super powerful, after all, I can still laugh at this moment.

"Then have you contacted him since you came here?"

"We separated before we came."

"What the hell? Break up?"

"It was a bit complicated at the time, and I didn't make it that clear, but that's about it." I blinked a few times after I finished speaking, because I felt that my eyes might have turned red.

"Then how are you?"

"That's fine."

"If you're okay, why are you crying?"

I raised my hand to touch my cheek, and found that my tears had fallen unconsciously.

"I...."

"Don't tell me no, you've already cried like this."

I already told Brother Pong about the story, "I don't want to say no, I just want to say it doesn't matter." I wiped away my tears and laughed softly, "It's over anyway."

"Is this really over?"

"I don't want this to pass either."

Brother Pong looked at my face, and before I was about to cry again, I blinked hard, I don't want to cry like a wayward child, even if I really want to cry.

"Pran...." The person next to me called my name and patted my shoulder with his warm hand. "Cry if you want to cry, I won't say anything about you."

"It really doesn't matter," I shook my head and wiped away my tears vigorously. "I just don't understand why the two adults hate each other so much."

"..."

"At least I don't have to look as stupid as I am now."

"This incident actually happened before you were born..." Brother Pong said in a low voice. I saw his hesitant appearance, as if he wanted to say something but didn't want to say it.

I raised my eyebrows and stared at him closely, feeling my heart beating faster, and couldn't help asking, "Brother Pong, do you know something? Do you know about this?" Did you know? What?Things I never knew.

"Actually, I just know a little bit," the person beside me nodded, lowered his eyes and said, "I also know a little bit from my parents."

"Brother Pong," I called his name anxiously, stretched out my hand and gently pulled his sleeve and told me, "Tell me everything you know, let me know."

"But this thing it..."

"At least let me know why I encountered such a thing?"

When I said this, the other party was very quiet, but he still didn't speak. We looked at each other. After a long time, he sighed, and then said about this matter, "Actually, it is related to the business at home. There are relationships."

I nodded very seriously, and when Brother Pong opened his mouth to speak, I looked at him very intently and listened carefully to every word he was going to say next.

"I don't know the specific details. I only know that the family next door started contracting projects from his grandfather's generation at that time. At that time, it had developed into a large contracting company. They only took on some major projects. In fact, we When I moved here, I didn’t know what my neighbors were like. I only knew a little bit when I met them in a bidding process. After that, our two families are already competitors, and everyone in the family basically has more or less income. Even if it is my family, it is also involved in the company's shares."

"So we stole his family's business?"

Brother Pong shook his head and said, "This is just a business, and a business is a business. Whoever has strong ability and strong capital will naturally get the project."

"What the hell is going on then?"

Brother Pong sighed again, although he slowly shook his head with a wry smile and said, "That's all I know, but I'm not sure what the problem is, Maybe you need to ask uncle yourself."

"Hmm." I looked down at my hands and replied simply.

"...do you love him very much?"

"I love you very much." After I finished this sentence, the face of the person I loved so much appeared in my mind, I missed him very much, I wanted to hear his voice, I wanted to see him When I saw him, I even wanted to touch the person I missed so much, "There are more than I imagined before."

"Then why are you willing to break up with him? You are usually a very calm person."

"That's why I said that in some things, I can't continue to insist on myself stubbornly. This matter involves too much, and there are many factors in it."

"So you compromised because of these things? Or did you just make this decision in the heat of the moment."

"The last time we spoke was that he wanted to elope with me."

"really?"

"I'm definitely not joking with you, brother." I frowned tightly and looked at another person in the room. Although his brows were tightly frowned, there was still a smile on the corner of his mouth, "Although I usually look like a frizzy I was a rash and rash person, but I was very rational at the time, in fact, the most real thought in my heart was to go with him."

"Then why don't you go?"

"If only this matter was that simple, brother, you should understand it too."

"I know, I already fully understand what your concerns are." Brother Pong reached out and touched my head, and I couldn't help but shed tears again, because the words he said later made me really bear Couldn't help it, "You are such a good boy."

I shook my head with a smile on the corner of my mouth, and said in a low voice when the other party touched my head.

"Being a good boy doesn't necessarily bring happiness."

After finishing what I should do every day, I will sit on the head of the bed, lean on the pillow and turn on the laptop to browse some web pages at will.The reason why I do this is not because I can't sleep, but because I want to know what is going on with the person in my heart.If Facebook had a pageview ranking, then Pat's number one pageview ranking would definitely be me.I look at the pictures on his Facebook timeline page every day, the photo of his engagement day is still there, I look at the smiling face, even though the smile on the face of the person I know is very normal, But I know that smile is not natural at all.Speaking of which, I have known him for more than ten years, and we have never seen each other for such a long time, and I don't know if there will be a chance to see him again in the future?

Sliding the mouse to the Facebook homepage of his only sister, looking at the photos, I can't help but think of the past. I remember that his sister had short hair before, but now her hair reaches her waist. In the photo, she is concentrating on reading. These It's all the way I can't see it.The thoughts in my heart spewed out, I stretched out my hand and gently touched the photo on the screen, I haven't seen him for several months, now I only have this kind of consolation.

Just thinking about the possibility of him hugging and kissing someone gave me a sledgehammer slap in the chest.Now I want to have a time machine to go back to the past, because I want to feel the time when I can sleep next to him again, I want to feel his breath, feel his arms, feel his skin, just like me as it used to be done.

I silently let the tears flow down, and when I heard the notification sound of the computer, I looked down at the chat box that popped up.

ParNapapha: Bro, haven't you slept yet?

I smiled, just thinking I'd be a little nervous talking to someone who was so close to him.In fact, I will have the opportunity to chat with Par for a long time, because our time difference is really great, basically only when it is almost morning, I will have the opportunity to chat with her.

ParakulS: I haven't slept yet, I will go to sleep after a while.

ParNapapha: But it's almost morning now, isn't it?

ParakulS: I'm not sleepy yet, how are you doing?

ParNapapha: I've been fine recently, brother, how are you doing?

ParakulS: I'm still the same.

After I replied to the message, it kept showing that I was typing, but there was still no message after a long time.Until it was shown that the other party was typing again, but there was still no message. She probably wrote and deleted, deleted and wrote again, so I simply sent a message first.

ParakulS: He...

ParakulS: How are you doing?

ParNapapha: Probably the same as what you said, brother, is not bad.

ParNapapha: At least the meaning represented is definitely the same.

I smiled, it seems that my sister really understands my inappropriate character.

ParakulS: You are really amazing.

ParNapapha: Brother, don't you miss Brother Pat at all?

ParakulS: I miss you.

ParakulS: How could you not want to?

ParNapapha: Then brother, why don't you come back?

Probably because he knew that I might not be able to express the thoughts in my heart directly, so Par started typing directly.But it took a while before her next message came.

ParNapapha: I really feel sorry for Brother Pat.

ParNapapha: In fact, brother Pat is really very bad, even if he is still the same as usual when he is outside, but I think he may have died when he is alone.

ParNapapha: I think brother, you may be so duplicity, right?

ParakulS: I'm fine, please take care of Pat for me.

ParNapapha: My brother, you really still look like a dead duck with a hard mouth before, and you haven't changed at all. Maybe you are chatting with me now, but you are actually crying over there, but I may not know.

When I saw this message from my sister, I kept inhaling and exhaling silently to control my emotions, and sometimes I hated my stubborn appearance very much.

ParakulS: I'm going to bed first.

ParakulS: Please help me take care of Pat.

ParNapapha: Good night brother, brother also take good care of himself.

After seeing this message from her, I just closed my laptop and didn't continue to reply to her.I looked at the head of the bed, then at the ceiling, trying to get those thoughts out of my head, but trying to get my feelings in order.

No matter how much time passes, my feelings for Pat never lessen.

The strangest thing this year happened right before my eyes. I frowned and pursed my lips. When Pong handed me the phone, he left a sentence, "Uncle is calling."

I stared at him for a while, and after preparing for a while, I said, "Okay."

[Pran...] My dad's voice still sounds the same, but it's also different from the last time I heard him speak. "

"I'm here."

[How are you doing?We haven't talked for a long time. ]

Hearing these two words my dad said, I couldn't help raising my eyebrows.He probably didn't call just to ask me such a simple sentence.

"I'm fine, Dad, are you okay?"

[Well, it's okay too. ]

"is it?"

After I said this, we were all silent. After all, we hadn't spoken for several months, but when we suddenly had such an opportunity to chat with each other, I didn't know what to say.I clenched my fist, squeezed my fingers nervously, organized my language, and wanted to say something, but my dad had already spoken first.

[I saw Pat yesterday. ]

"..."

[Because of work. ]

"Really?" I pursed my lips, not understanding why my dad would talk about it.

[Come here often during this time to discuss the project together. ] I heard a burst of laughter from the other end of the phone. [The kid is actually pretty good, but when I think about him, I'm not sure. ]

"Ah."

[But the kid seemed to have grown up a lot, and after talking to him, I realized that he was different from what I thought. ]

"..."

[I now know that the troublemaker next door is pretty good at work too. ]

"Yeah." I replied to my dad with the same words, but I was thinking carefully in my mind whether I should say the thoughts I had been thinking about since yesterday. After the two of us were silent for a long time, I decided to speak. "dad."

[what? ]

"Can I ask Dad something?"

[What's up? ]

"Dad, can you tell me about our family and Pat's family?"

[Why would you want to know this, you don't have to know these things, and I don't want to talk about it. ]

"Even if this incident has almost affected my whole life and all my normal life, Dad, are you not going to let me know?" I tried to control my breathing, and then said, "Although this incident makes me have to Isn't that why you're here?"

When I finished speaking, my father fell silent and didn't answer me for about 10 minutes, but I was willing to wait.I am willing to wait and let my father think about it.

[Their family is a very famous contractor,” my father finally said. “At that time, it can be said that many large projects were won by his family. I heard that there are a lot of capital and some people behind them.At that time, I established a new company and heard about this company, but I didn’t expect it to be our neighbor. I thought it was just a coincidence. At the beginning, we often communicated and communicated together, but we also knew There are a lot of shady scenes, which may be due to the economic downturn and high debts, and his family did not participate in the bidding for a period of time later. "]

"Have all the projects been contracted by our family?"

[Not all,] My father often sighed, and I could feel his fatigue through his sigh, and at this moment I suddenly felt that my father was old too. [Later, their family came to borrow money from our family. ]

"Pat's dad?" I couldn't think of such a picture at all, "Borrowing money from our family?"

[Yes, their family borrowed 100 million baht from our family. "My father's voice sounded even deeper." Under the economic situation at that time, it was impossible to even lend money to relatives, so I did not agree to him.Moreover, the relationship between our family and his family is not very close. What will he use as a security deposit?And the reality that our family had to face at that time was to survive the economic downturn and take on many projects to maintain the company. We didn't know what the future of the company would be. ]

"Then why does Dad hate that family so much?"

[I'm not the one to hate in the first place. ]

"..."

[When people lose something, they have a hard time accepting the reality, and habitually throw the fault on others, choose not to accept the truth, their family blames all the faults on our family. ]

I opened my mouth and I could tell my dad's voice was more serious than ever.

[No funds equals no project, and no project will naturally have no money to come in. When he asked me to borrow money, I did not have money to lend to his family. There were many other projects to choose from at the time, but he chose There is a gray area, but the gray area also means that the road is in doubt, and it will naturally lay the fuse for the closure of the enterprise. ]

Hearing my dad say this, I had a terrible headache. I quickly analyzed everything I heard, and then grasped the key points of the problem.

"So he hates our family because of this?"

[Yes,] My dad smiled lowly, [This is how this industry is, and this is how business is done, either you lose or I win, and my family’s business is only achieved by me struggling all the way. Now, so now you know the grievances between our two families, what can you do? ]

"Then can dad forgive their family? Can he forgive Pat?"

[Having hated each other so far, it may be impossible to reconcile at this level. ]

"..."

[If they didn't do something over there, I wouldn't have done anything first. ] My dad sighed deeply, [But whatever, things in the past were too complicated, all I can do now is not to intervene. ]

"dad."

[What's wrong? ]

"Are you tired?"

[A little. ]

"sorry!"

[If you really feel that you have done something wrong, then I hope you can change back to my original child, can you? ]

"I'll always be Daddy's son."

[Forget all the things you did and thought wrong before, start from the beginning, and live like a normal person. ]

I just now realized that what Dad said was between me and Pat, and I felt that this 1 minute had passed for a long time, and it was hard for me to say this sentence from my throat, "I never felt like I was here. I did something wrong."

[I really don't get it, it's never happened before. ]

"I also do not understand."

[If this is the case, then we don’t need to understand this matter, just forget about it.You are still the same Pran, and he is still the same Pat. ]

"It's not like this. It has nothing to do with our age. No matter how long time has passed, I'm still sure. What I felt at that time. I'm not a child anymore." I opened my mouth and tried hard to hold back the tears that were about to flow Tears, and then said, "I'm sorry, I can't go against my heart."

[......]

"..."

At this time, both of us were silent, no one spoke again, quietly listening to each other's breathing, until my dad's voice came from the other end of the phone.

[Pran...]

"Ok?"

[Do you feel happy? ]

Surprised my dad would ask me such a question, even though it was such a simple question, I had to stop and think for a few minutes before answering it.

"Does Dad want me to be happy?"

[......]

The other end of the phone was very quiet, and I loosened my tight fisted hands and slowed down my breathing.

[You rest first, we will talk about this matter later, take care of yourself, don't fight against Pong all day long. "

"Okay, Dad, take care of yourself too."

[I want my Pran to have happiness. ]

Dad hung up the phone immediately after saying this.I am not sure whether I am happy or sad right now, and the tears in my eyes make me unable to think of anything.

I glanced at the watch on my wrist and realized that it was time to make a call. I picked up the phone again and dialed the number of the person I had never forgotten.I don't know how long it took, I dialed the phone, feeling a strong heartbeat, waiting for the sound of the phone being connected.

But the only thing that kept ringing in my ears was the signal sound, and the person on the other end of the phone didn't answer my call.