Your heart's desire

The first day passed like that, and when the guards at the gate of the palace changed at ten o'clock in the night, he got up alone and staggered back to the mansion.

It was very dark at night, but the lights on the long street were bright and clear.Lin Ying stood at the gate of the mansion courtyard and walked towards the gate of the palace early in the morning. When the people had dispersed one by one, he finally saw Luo Yan's figure clearly. The wind was blowing, and he ran quickly from one end of the long street to the other.

Luo Yan's legs were already numb, he swayed every step, he didn't even dare to straighten his waist, he could only bow deeply, for fear that a stagger would make him fall straight to the ground, he lifted his hands slightly, and it was done Prepare your body for support at any time.

"Qingshan, how are you doing, Qingshan?"

Luo Yan felt his head was dizzy and completely blank, and his legs were moving forward indiscriminately. Fortunately, the ground was still relatively flat so he could barely maintain his balance.

He raised his head slowly after hearing the voice, and when he saw Luo Yan's face in his sight, his first reaction was to grin quickly.

Lin Ying put his hands on his body, and pulled his body up with great difficulty. The moment he gained this strength, it seemed that all his persistence just now had collapsed, and he couldn't hold on for a moment. , and threw his whole body towards Lin Ying's arms.

Eyes closed and opened again, after a few times, it seems that they no longer have the strength to open them again.

"Weizhi, didn't I tell you not to wait for me in the courtyard, didn't you promise me?"

Even Luo Yan's breathing became weaker, but he still stubbornly wanted to speak.After Lin Ying heard this, the tears that he had deliberately suppressed just now finally couldn't bear it anymore, and he collapsed in an instant.

"Qingshan, it's my fault, I shouldn't have asked you to go, it's all my idea!"

The ground was wet, and the misty drizzle still didn't stop.Luo Yan's body can be considered strong, Lin Ying can barely support him.

But at this moment, he didn't have any strength in his body to support him, and he had completely fainted. Lin Ying really had no choice.

The weight of Luo Yan's whole body suddenly came over, he could only follow Luo Yan's body and leaned back, caught off guard and sat down on the ground, he could instantly feel a chill coming from the clothes behind him .

I wanted to pull Luo Yan to stand up, but after trying a few times, I found that I was powerless, so I could only hold him tightly in my arms, try to use my body to protect him from raindrops, and hold him with one hand. Shaking vigorously on Luo Yan's face.

Luo Yan has a certain reputation and prestige in this capital, and now the military power that the emperor dreads in the hands of Taifu Luo is in Luo Yan's hands.

The emperor himself has reached a precarious situation now, and the only remaining son is a soft guy who can't support the wall. Under such a situation, no matter how you say it, he doesn't dare to move Luo Yan in the slightest.

As long as Luo Yan has the slightest intention to force Luo Yan, he can use this excuse to force the palace to rebel.

It was precisely because of this that even though Lin Ying felt distressed and wanted to suffer with him, but after thinking about it carefully, he could only give up this plan.

All the officials in the court dared not say anything, if only Luo Yan spoke, no matter how upset the emperor was, he could only pretend to turn a blind eye and let Luo Yan go.

But if Lin Ying stood up at this time, the emperor's anger that Luo Yan had suffocated could be released on Lin Ying wantonly.

At the beginning, Luo Yan personally asked the emperor for a marriage.If the emperor took a liking to the relationship between the two of them, and the emperor took him away, he would definitely use it to blackmail Luo Yan, and he didn't know how much trouble would happen by then.

Lin Ying didn't close his eyes that night, just guarding beside Luo Yan's bed.There has been plenty of rain in the past few days, but within three or two days, the green vines outside the window have already used their strength to climb to the eaves, and the fresh and tender branches climbed from between the window coffin and extended into the house, with the window sash lightly closed , the water droplets on the branches took advantage of the situation and flowed to the ground, making a slight crisp sound incessantly.

He was afraid that Luo Yan would have some uninvited guests in the Taifu's house in the middle of the night, and he was also afraid that he would fall off the bed in the middle of the night and nibble on the wound on his knee.

He fell to the ground, leaned his back on the side of the couch, held Luo Yan's hand, and stared blankly at Luo Yan's appearance.

Looking at it, the moonlight outside the window is dim, but there are bursts of muddy smell from the window casement.

Lin Ying was suddenly surprised to find that Luo Yan's appearance had suddenly changed, something was not quite the same anymore.

It's not like when he met again at the long gate, his brows and eyes were full of aloofness and coldness, but now they have become flat and warm.

Thinking about it, they only got together for a short period of time, but it seems that the world has changed several times, and they have lived for several lifetimes.

He shook his head, confused and regretful.If he had stopped Luo Yan in time at the beginning, the matter might not have developed to this point, maybe everything could still be as peaceful and peaceful as it was in Zilin Mansion.

If that was the case, perhaps he would not suffer such crimes today.

Luo Yan is different from Lin Ying. Lin Ying hasn't suffered any hardships in these years, and his life was picked from the pile of dead people.But Luo Yan was a master who was afraid of melting in his mouth when he was born.

He almost lost his life because of Lin Ying many times, but he never complained, only thinking about how to protect him.

But he himself tortured him with his own hands, especially thinking that he did all this for himself.

Lin Ying felt that he couldn't accept it even more, all this seemed like Luo Yan was a pawn in his hands that could be discarded at any time, or attacked at will, it didn't matter.

The night was desolately quiet, there was no sound of insects, and the breeze was blowing on the face. I felt that my thoughts were clearer, and suddenly the picture of Luo Yan when he first came to Lin's mansion appeared in his head.

At that time, he was only doing it for his great cause.And even Lin Ying himself didn't think about it at all, he would like to fall in love with a man in the future, just like Chipin.

But it was such a one-sided fate that unexpectedly doomed him and Luo Yan to be closely entangled and cuddle each other for many years to come.

The long night is long, and there is no one to accompany and chat for comfort.Thinking of Chipin so unexpectedly, Lin Ying couldn't help but feel a ripple in his heart.

He was always contradictory in the past, and always felt that as long as they could be safe and live well in a place he didn't know, then he would be willing to spend his life in panic even if he lived his life.

But sometimes he was too tired, and he thought about those people who had been lost from him one by one.

Now that he can be sure that he lost his life, in his heart, there will be no more hope.

I just cried hard, knowing that I still have to go on slowly and step by step in this life.

It seems that I can become more ambitious and live for myself, instead of repeating waiting and searching every day.

These two words fought countless battles in his head, and then he gradually got used to the struggle in his mind, and then he came to a conclusion that was relatively biased towards himself.

Sometimes, what makes people suffer for a long time is not despair, but after giving hope, there will be no later.

He thought that he might have been really selfish in the past, so selfish that he only wanted to live his life well.It wasn't until meeting Luo Yan later that he gradually felt ashamed of himself.

He has met countless people in his life, but few people are willing to give him warmth.

Mr. Jin in the past was one, but Mr. Jin's care for him was more like a father's meticulous care.The later delay in hiring is also considered one, but it is more like two people with similar fates who did not get together to keep warm.

Only Luo Yan is different from anyone else, he is even willing to give up his life so easily for Lin Ying, he can put Lin Ying first in everything, and he can even go all out to win this for Lin Ying. The whole river and mountain.

Lin Ying used to think that Luo Yan was just naive, he exaggerated his own ideals, and expressed his heroic fantasies with those love words of life and death.

But seeing Luo Yan lying on the bed today, he suddenly felt that he was wrong in the past.

In fact, Luo Yan knew much more about this worldly matter than himself, he just didn't want to see himself suffer even the slightest bit of harm, that's why he worked so hard.

Taking advantage of the darkness, Lin Ying wiped away tears.

In the early morning, the light rain gradually became heavier again. Judging from the momentum, it should not be able to stop for a while.

Lin Ying lay on the ground and passed the cold wind from the window, feeling that the chill was a bit unbearable, and finally moved Luo Yan's body inside, and squeezed to the side of the bed to take a nap with his eyes closed.

Because he didn't close his eyes all night, his awareness of the situation became unclear after a while.

When I woke up from the dream again, the sky was already bright, and I bent down to look at myself, lying in the middle of the bed, and the quilt was quite neatly covered.But Luo Yan beside him has disappeared.

Lin Ying thought about it all night and never dared to think that Luo Yan would go there again the next day.

Before he had time to wash up, he hurriedly pulled his clothes over and put them on his body, not caring about the heavy rain outside, so he rushed out the door in a panic.

Putting both hands on the doorknob and pulling it out vigorously, only to hear a creaking sound on the door, and after opening a gap, it bounced back again. Through the gap, one could already see that the door was locked from the outside .

"Come on, open the door!"

He panicked, and when he encountered such an incident again, he couldn't help but shudder in his heart. Luo Yan is acting like this now, and his heart seems to be very determined to do this, even if he blocks his own legs, It is also obligatory.