818 The goddess who threw me N times

Landlord: Pony has no armor

In fact, I am not as dull and ignorant as everyone imagines, nor am I a cowardly idiot.The reason why I have been entangled and hesitant, cowardly and reserved, is just because I have a bowl-sized scar in my heart, and I don't want to uncover it to hurt again.Before, a little friend also said that the author’s psychological activities were described too little, not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t dare.Love is like a raging river. Although a dam has been temporarily built to hold it back, it has been washed and slapped over the years, and it is already in danger and will collapse at any time.

Friends who feel that the poster is too procrastinating, too entangled, and too overworked, please think about it. If you fall in love with a straight person who has a boyfriend, can you confess your love bravely without hesitation, not to mention that this straight person has rejected you.

Yes, it's not that I haven't confessed my love, but the ending is really not as good as everyone imagined.

Exactly when did I start to like Ye Qiushui, I really can't tell the exact time.Maybe it was deeply planted in my heart when I saw that angel for the first time; maybe it was the subtle influence of getting along day and night, childhood sweethearts, and childhood sweethearts; or maybe it was the sentence she said after fighting for her, "If you die, I will go I'll be with you!" In short, when I realized the strangeness, Ye Qiushui had already broken into my heart, and never left.

Back then, the Internet was not as popular as it is today.Most of the LES at that time were still hidden underground.When I was young, I was still ignorant, I only knew that I would look forward to going to school soon, and I was very happy to see Ye Qiushui, and I wanted to be with her all the time.Will be happy because she took No.1, and even forget that if she fails, she will be beaten when she goes back; she will be worried because she has no dinner, and secretly hide her steamed buns with braised pork for her; Sad because of being bullied and cried by her friends, she would not hesitate to use her immature fists to suppress her; she would be afraid because she slept alone at night, and often sneaked to her house barefoot to accompany her in the middle of the night.If Ye Qiushui at that time was my sky, it brought me all the sunshine and happiness.At that time, I was Ye Qiushui's earth, her most solid backing and warmth.But at the time, I didn't think about it, what is such a feeling?

One day when I came home from school, there was a child outside the door excitedly shouting that Qiao Yuxuan was looking for me.He was a handsome guy in the class next door who was excellent in both character and learning. He had already been elected as the school's grassroots in all kinds of gossip and gossip. He was the object of everyone's admiration just like Ye Qiushui.

Somewhat surprised, because I have never had any contact with him.Ye Qiushui gave me a slightly worried look, and told me to finish the conversation quickly and drive her home to do her homework.I walked to the flower bed under the classroom, and saw that vigorous young man with sword-like eyebrows and deep eyes, and a white shirt, who smiled at me shyly, somehow he really had the taste of Takashi Kashiwahara, it seems that the school grass is not called for nothing .

Of course I won't be so narcissistic that Wen Wen Xiaocao falls in love with me. Sure enough, Qiao Yuxuan clarified his meaning in a roundabout way, probably because he has something to say about Ye Qiushui, and he will be 214 soon. Tail to find out about Ye Qiushui's preferences.

The alarm bell rang suddenly. Although Ye Qiushui had many suitors for a long time, most of them were crooked and overestimated.But the heavyweight player in front of him is really uncertain. He looks good, studies well, and is a big monitor. Although he is handsome and famous, he has never had any lace.He and Ye Qiushui are truly a prince and a princess, complementing each other perfectly.

There was an inexplicable panic in my heart, and I muttered for a long time: "Qiu Shui seems to have someone she likes, and it's not from our school!"

Looking at the figure of the school grass leaving sadly, I was terrified. This is the first time I have lied, and it was as natural and smooth as a matter of course.I was stunned by this almost instinctive answer, and secretly told myself that this is the immoral Su Xiaomi.But I dare not go after him and tell him the truth.There is an evil voice in the bottom of my heart that has been clamoring not to, or you will lose Ye Qiushui.The fear chills me to the marrow.

When I returned to the class in a daze, several friends were still joking whether the school grass was interested in me.I saw Ye Qiushui's expression was very bad, and I was afraid that she would know something, so I hurriedly packed my schoolbag and drove her away.

"Xiaomi, are you hiding something from me?" Ye Qiushui put his arms around my waist from behind.

"no!"

"What does Qiao Yuxuan want you to do?"

"Ah, it's nothing, he said he lost his history textbook, and asked if he could borrow it from me tomorrow!" I replied with a guilty conscience.That's the way lies are, once you tell them, you're buried with a hundred others.

I had insomnia that night, lying on the bed tossing and turning, constantly asking myself, why?What went wrong?How can you lie and deceive people with peace of mind.Aren't school flowers and school grass a good match?Imagining the scene where the two hit it off, happily holding hands and going out shopping, I felt a pang of sadness and severe pain in my heart.

no!The one holding Ye Qiushui can only be me!

wrong!Can you hold her for the rest of your life?She will marry sooner or later.

It also reminds me of Ye Qiushui getting married and giving birth to a beautiful little princess. He is so busy taking care of them every day that he has no time to talk to me anymore.His heart was blunt, and his face was warm.I actually cried?Why are you crying!

There was a girl in the yard who was trapped by love and wanted to commit suicide by jumping off the building.Sitting on the railing on the seventh floor, weeping, fearing that he would lose his courage again in the end and be rescued by a group of adults.Ye Qiushui and I were watching the fun downstairs, and we discussed love, a tormenting little thing, in a serious manner.Ye Qiushui asked me seriously, "Xiaomi, what do you think is love?"

I remembered the TV series I watched at night, and pretended to be educated and replied, "Ask what love is in the world, and teach people how to live and die!"

"I think love is a kind of dependence. When I see this person, I will laugh. When I think of this person, I will feel warm. When I hold this person's hand, there will be different beats. If this person is not here, the whole world will be empty!" She said to me with a smile , the eyes are like water, the eyes are deep, it seems that there is a strange force that is constantly pulling me to sink and sink.Isn't this how I feel about Ye Qiushui?Is this love?

It was my 16th birthday in a blink of an eye. That day I went to KTV with Ye Qiushui. We were very excited and drank some wine.I stayed at her house at night, and I wanted to hug her to sleep with a shameless face.I have also mentioned these things on the fourth floor above, but that night was not very sweet, and I don’t remember nothing.

At first I was so excited that I couldn't sleep, the two of us chatted about campus gossip and looked forward to the future, Ye Qiushui smiled sweetly in my arms, his beautiful face was so pretty, his lips were red after drinking, soft and sweet like a jelly.Perhaps it was caused by alcohol, and my body was hot for a while. I couldn't help but go up and take a bite, and clearly felt the person under me stiffen.

"Qiu Shui, I might fall in love with you!" I murmured, my heart was like a scourge, being rushed by the alcohol, it overflowed, and I couldn't take it back.

"But we are all women, won't this be perverted!" There was a trace of panic and hesitation in her voice.

In an instant, it was like a thunderbolt woke me up. In that era that was still ignorant, in that era when rotten girls had not yet ruled the earth, my deviant and petty thinking was really a pervert.Why did you say such insignificant words? I regretted and couldn't help myself, so I quickly diverted and said a lot of nonsense, but my heart was very painful.

Listening to Ye Qiushui's shallow breathing at night, I can't sleep for a long time, I feel that I am really terrible, how can I fall in love with my best friend, she is a woman, how can girls like girls?I'm a pervert!This word is like a thorn in my heart, and it hurts badly.Will Ye Qiushui be afraid of me, and will he play with me in the future?Thinking of this, I was so sad that I couldn't help myself, and I regretted wanting to kill myself, the tears came just like that, wet the pillow and the sheets, I lay down calmly to warm them up and dry.

Woke up the next day with a terrible headache. "I was drunk last night, did you say anything nonsense?" I asked tentatively.

Ye Qiushui hesitated for a moment, then said "No!"

Fortunately, we are still friends.Even if I can't love her, I still want to be by her side forever.

In order to dispel Ye Qiushui's worries and prove that I am not a pervert, I soon had a boyfriend.The days with Mu Yunyang are very happy, he is like a ray of sunshine, illuminating my dark and dirty heart.I tried my best to tell myself, look, you still like boys, those strange thoughts in the past may be the illusion of being too close to Ye Qiushui.Over time, I really believed it.Yes, that was just a drunken delusion, it wasn't real.

With the first one, there will be the second one. My heart is like a hollow, very lonely.I began to associate with boys one after another, and I was afraid that if I stopped, those thoughts that I shouldn't have would flood and overwhelm me.I'm afraid that if this continues, I won't even be able to be friends.I can't imagine living like that, it's almost worse than dying.

Even after Ye Qiushui snatched Mu Yunyang and Ren Jian away, the biggest pain in his heart was not being caught by the three, but resentment.You don't have to like me, but please don't like these scumbags either.

You are so beautiful, they do not deserve you!

The author has something to say: In view of the fact that yesterday seemed to have aroused public outrage, I hurried to add a chapter today, and my friends are all relieved~~

I also hope that this reversal will not be too abrupt.

Maybe it won't be updated tomorrow.