fall in love by chance

Accidental Love: Interlude·Summer Solstice

S01. First love

Zhou Yan's office is on the twelfth floor, and outside the window there are only clusters of high-rise buildings and no green plants in sight.

But on his desk is a pot of silver-grained grass procured by personnel, which is a kind of desktop plant that is easy to support. The green leaves are covered with white veins, so it gets its name because it looks like silver-grained.

Zhou Yan still remembers that when the pot was first released, there were only a few sparse leaves in the pot, and he didn't pay attention to take care of it. He just remembered to water a little occasionally, and in just two months, the silver grass had grown to The stems are leafy, and there are a few leaves that are green and plump, almost stretching their teeth and claws across to his computer screen.

The exuberant vitality of this grass made Zhou Yan think of Liang Ruixi inexplicably.

When she was in college, Zhou Yan felt that Liang Ruixi exuded sunshine and nature all over her body. No matter where she was, she could quickly adapt to the environment and get along with the people around her.

That kind of integration is not derived from acquired social skills, but is extremely pure, like a survival instinct of wild animals.

For example, the first time I met Wei Ran was when Liang Ruixi came to dormitory 326 and asked him to have dinner at the beginning of school.Wei Ran and Shen Hui were both there that day, they had just met, and there was a sense of estrangement between them.

As soon as Liang Ruixi broke in, he showed that he was very familiar with Zhou Yan. Under normal circumstances, this kind of acquaintance with one person would further divide the other two people.But when going out, Liang Ruixi met Wei Ran's gaze and asked, "Together?"

Wei Ran was stunned for a moment, said "OK", and immediately got up and followed them.

When he got to the downstairs of the dormitory, Wei Ran said anxiously: "There was a classmate in the dormitory just now, wouldn't it be good if we don't call him?"

Liang Ruixi said casually, "It's okay, he doesn't want to go."

At that time, even Zhou Yan was a little puzzled, because when he went out, he also felt that it was wrong not to call Shen Hui, but Liang Ruixi had already greeted him and left before he could react.

On the way back, Zhou Yan asked him: "How do you know that Shen Hui doesn't want to eat with us?"

Liang Ruixi: "I just saw him, but he didn't respond to me, maybe he just wants to be alone."

Zhou Yan still remembers that he was a dull person when he was a child, and he would feel nervous when others said a word to him.After being discovered by his mother for "character defects" and forcibly intervening, he spent many years, through training such as observing others' words and emotions, and doing simulated speeches in front of the mirror every day, before gradually showing a relatively perfect image in front of outsiders.

But when getting along with the people around him, Zhou Yan knows that he is pretentious. He will use the various social skills he has mastered to deal with others, and even only say what the other party wants to hear, so as to achieve his own goals and superficial harmony. .

At the beginning, Zhou Yan didn't know that Liang Ruixi's instinct was so strong, and thought that the other party only knew how to read words and expressions to a certain extent.But what Liang Ruixi did to him challenged his bottom line all the time and broke his perception of him.

Once, Zhou Yan had just finished a phone call with his mother, and the other party told him a lot of truths on the other end of the phone, trying to brainwash him, and at the end he didn’t forget to reprimand him: “You go to F University to touch Do you have any friends worth making? Can they help you build the contacts you need in the future? You can go and see that there have been a few well-known alumni from the Faculty of Law of F University over the years. Their current direction is similar to what you want Is it consistent?... Ah Yan, I know that you can't accept the reality of your birth status for a while, but even if you are angry with me, this impulsive change of choice is too stupid. I think it is against you The irresponsibility of my own life... everything my mother does is only for your own good, so you should reflect on yourself."

He was already in a depressed mood when he hung up the phone, but Liang Ruixi came to bother him again and asked him "why come to F University so unhappy".

Coming to F University was indeed just his impulsive choice, but Zhou Yan didn't think he didn't make good friends, such as some fool...

But at that moment, Liang Ruixi still had no insight to say provocative words to him, as if to confirm the words of his mother's complete negation of him on the phone, from choice to social interaction, which made Zhou Yan furious.

For the first time, he lost his temper with Liang Ruixi, and even told him not to follow him in the future.

Liang Ruixi was also visibly angry, clenched her fists, stared at him for a long time, then turned her head and left.

When Zhou Yan calmed down, he regretted it very much. He didn't know why he wanted to vent his anger on Liang Ruixi after being angry with his mother.At that time, Liang Ruixi clearly wanted to care about himself, and he was also clearly willing to let the other party accompany him.

But the quarrel was already quarreling, it was impossible for Zhou Yan to take the initiative to subdue, so he was so stiff, and even thought angrily, that clingy guy would definitely come to him again.

That afternoon was the longest afternoon Zhou Yan had spent since the beginning of school.

He stayed in the library for half an hour before returning to the dormitory in a panic.Liang Ruixi was not there, Shen Hui said that he asked Wei Ran to play together.Zhou Yan sat in his dormitory and read a book, but he couldn't get in. Every 10 minutes, he would glance at the clock, listen to the movement outside, and wait for Liang Ruixi to come back.

Without that guy's noisy voice, the entire corridor of the dormitory is so quiet that it makes people feel lonely.

Waiting until 05:30 in the evening, the people who went to play came back together. In the messy footsteps, Zhou Yan could distinguish the one that belonged to Liang Ruixi without any obstacles. He was so big, and he walked two steps like a little boy. .

Wei Ran opened the door and came in, and greeted him and Shen Hui.

The dormitories on both sides were open, and he heard Liang Ruixi laughing with others next door, and he seemed to be in a good mood.

Zhou Yan breathed a sigh of relief, but brought it up again in the next second, because they talked about "dinner".It's time for dinner soon, if Liang Ruixi doesn't come to call him, will others see that there is a conflict between the two of them?If Liang Ruixi really stopped talking to him in the future, what should he do?

Just as he was feeling anxious, that guy ran over, with his clothes still on, and with the smell of sweat from exercising on his body, he yelled at him: "Zhou Yan! Go eat!"

His whole life was full of vitality, with a bright smile on his face, as if their quarrel in the afternoon happened in another dimension.

Zhou Yan was relieved, wishing to respond to the other party immediately, but he still put down the book pretending to be calm, stood up slowly, and looked at him with a reserved "um".

Later, the relationship between the two got better, and Zhou Yan also asked Liang Ruixi curiously: "Why did you know that I was angry at that time, and you were willing to call me? Aren't you afraid that I will ignore you?"

Liang Ruixi snorted: "I don't care, you ignore me, I can still be called Wei Ran, but you, the big squad leader, are awkward in public, and you go to eat alone, where do you put your face?"

Zhou Yan was dumb, Liang Ruixi was still turning a book in his hand when he spoke, and said in a serious manner: "Besides, what will you do if I don't call you? You look lonely..."

Zhou Yan wondered: "Shen Hui is also alone most of the time, why don't you think he is alone?"

Liang Ruixi raised her eyebrows: "He likes to be alone, can he be the same as you?"

Indeed, after school started, as they got to know Shen Hui better, they found that Liang Ruixi's judgment at the beginning was right, that guy enjoyed being alone more.But Zhou Yan felt puzzled again: "When I first started school, I seemed to want to be alone too. Why do you come to me every day?"

Liang Ruixi looked into his eyes and asked with a smile, "Are you? But I feel that you are quite lonely, and you almost wrote 'Who will comfort me' on your face."

At that time, Liang Ruixi was not like now, he would carefully ask "was I annoying before", and he naturally attributed his clinging behavior to Zhou Yan because Zhou Yan needed him.

Zhou Yan didn't admit it, but he agreed with the other party's statement in his heart, and was even a little moved, because it was the first time when he was growing up that someone other than his close relatives saw through the mask of disguise.

Zhou Yan flipped the silvergrass leaves on the table, remembering that day after listening to him sing "Fortunate to Meet" in the bar that day, he asked on his back: "Am I your first love?"

A long time ago, Zhou Yan also thought about this question, is he his first love?

The first time he fell in love with someone, he was also confused, because before that, he was never sure whether he could like boys.He just enjoyed the feeling of being with Liang Ruixi, feeling relaxed and at ease.Listening to him share some trivial things, watching him smile, is really happy, and slowly he discovered that happiness is so simple to have.

From the beginning I thought he was stupid, but I gradually discovered that this fool also has unique life wisdom. After getting along for a long time, I will be influenced by his philosophy of stupid people.

Liang Ruixi said: "You are spoiled and spoiled, you can't accept even a little bit of spicy food."

Liang Ruixi said: "Isn't life like this, how can everything be as you wish?"

Liang Ruixi said: "Don't frown, think about what to eat for dinner!"

……

Lao Tzu said "to be rigid and easy to break", Zhuangzi said "great knowledge is idle", Buddha said "all dharmas are impermanent"...

Since he was a child, he was forced by his mother and teachers to read so many philosophical classics, and his excellent personal resume made Zhou Yan claim to be intelligent and outstanding, but the first big setback he encountered at the age of 19 almost made him feel heaven and earth Lost color and mental breakdown, so in the end, the "Zhihuzheye" he read were nothing but eloquent words, like flowers and moons in mirror water.

If he can't comprehend it, he will always be an ordinary person.

But that night at Yanlu Mountain, when he heard Liang Ruixi share his life experience inadvertently, and then recalled what the other party said and his usual attitude towards people, Zhou Yan only felt like a silver bottle had burst in his head , Snow water topping.

At that moment, he knew that he was different from the past, not because he fell in love with someone, but because he realized it.

Liang Ruixi's life is trivial, and he has encountered more impermanence and injustice than himself, but he has never complained about these, and he can still be so open-minded and optimistic.Come from sex, go with your heart.He lives in the moment, cherishes every bit of beauty in life, does not care about himself, and does not aim too high.

But this kind of Liang Ruixi also had weak and sad moments, drunk, crying in his arms, telling how he missed his mother, Zhou Yan couldn't resist kissing such a loving and caring person.

From that moment on, all his poems expressing his ambition when he was depressed had a home.

That home is "Liang Ruixi".

All the big reasons he couldn't figure out also had explanations.

Those explanations are also "Liang Ruixi".