muddy boy

Chen Linhu was stunned, didn't react at all, subconsciously asked: "Why?"

"It's nothing else," Zhang Xun smiled helplessly, "I didn't think well before, but now, it's shameful for you to keep running to me."

Unable to tell whether he was poked by Zhang Xun's inappropriate smile or stabbed by this explanation, Chen Linhu said in a daze, "I've only used that key once, Zhang Xun."

Zhang Xun seemed to be smoked by the smoke from the cigarette butts, lowered his eyes and blinked vigorously: "When you want to go to the second floor, you can still go. It's not like I won't open the door when you come. Anyway, I'm usually in a book cafe or At home, it's no different, you can still come anytime—”

"Can it be the same Zhang Xun?" Chen Linhu interrupted him, and there was more anger in his voice because of incomprehension, "Can it be the same? I will go to you, and you will give me the right to come in and out at any time. These are two different things."

Zhang Xun never thought that Chen Linhu's logic could be so clear. He couldn't find any words to refute, so he took two steps on the spot irritably, avoiding Chen Linhu's almost smoldering gaze: "Before... I didn't think clearly, but now I do. In the final analysis, it is a matter of the key, I want a little private space, the key is just taken back, your relationship with me is the same as before, Hu Zi, our relationship will not change because of a key."

The list in his pocket was clenched into a crumpled little ball, and it was rare for Chen Linhu to understand what Zhang Xun meant in less than a second.

He was almost dizzy with anger, managed to find some reason in the sea of ​​anger, stepped in front of Zhang Xun and stopped him: "What do you want to understand? Tell me, if you didn't think clearly before, tell me what it means." .”

The tall and slender figure suddenly stood in front of him, and the cigarette in Zhang Xun's hand almost touched Chen Linhu.

The two had been together for a long time, and Zhang Xun's body and nerves had formed a memory of the temperature on Chen Linhu's body. Although they were not much different in height, Zhang Xun felt that Chen Linhu's sense of oppression was heavier and stronger.

"Be careful, once you burn the cigarette butt, you won't go crazy," Zhang Xun moved the cigarette butt away, and looked at Chen Linhu's face with his heart beating. Just seeing the outline clearly was enough for him, and he had to hang down again To avoid emotional overflow, "It's nothing, you don't have to run to my place when you have more friends in the future, you can communicate with your peers more, it's good to stay at home."

"I don't make friends." Chen Linhu hated Zhang Xun's airs of an older person to fool him the most, so he couldn't help but increase the volume, "You don't have to worry about it!"

Zhang Xun was stung by these words, and also frowned, pushing Chen Linhu back: "Can you speak well? You should know why I said these things."

"No, I'm just like this," Chen Linhu finally got angry in his throat, couldn't restrain himself from raising his voice, grabbed Zhang Xun and pushed his hand to pull towards him, forcing him to move closer to him, "You said that I You can go at any time, but now you regret it, you are a fucking liar, Zhang Xun!"

Being pulled made Zhang Xun almost fall onto Chen Linhu. The sudden weightlessness accompanied by the dull pain from the clenched wrist should have been very strong, but Zhang Xun followed the magic and felt the heat of Chen Linhu's palm first.

It's just sick, Zhang Xun thought terrified, I'm sick, and this fucking kid has brains too.

"Let go!" Zhang Xun reprimanded in a low voice, really annoyed, "Can you stop being so old and blow up? Am I telling you? You can die if you cooperate a little!"

"Are you ready to talk about it?" Chen Linhu was very uncomfortable, and he couldn't let go, unable to suppress his voice, "You are the next announcement, and you don't care what I think!"

It was getting dark now, and the street lamps were turned on one by one, illuminating the people walking by the river and couples of young lovers.

The movement of the two of them turned out to be a bit like a couple quarreling. Zhang Xun immediately looked around and was relieved when he saw that no one was looking here for the time being. Then he was completely irritated by Chen Linhu's voice adding fuel to the fire.

The blood rushed to his forehead, causing Zhang Xun to have a headache, and his stomach throbbed from the cold air.

"Yes, I don't care what you think, do you just think about what I think? Do you insist on telling me to be honest and embarrassing me?" Zhang Xun roared in a low voice, the cigarette butt fell to the ground, and he He freed his hand and pulled Chen Linhu by the collar to pull him in front of him, almost cutting himself apart word by word, "Okay, let me tell you the truth, I'm gay, I like men, you dazzle in front of my eyes, you Sleeping next to me, you fucking carelessly hug me, I have a reaction, I have a feeling, do you understand Chen Linhu?! I don’t want to fall into it and hate myself more, do you fucking understand? So I let you and Why don't you listen to me?"

Chen Linhu was pulled by the neckline and forced to lower his body, but he still stubbornly grabbed Zhang Xun's other hand.

Like monsters competing at two ends, the two of them leaned against each other in a deformed and mutually restrained posture, panting heavily as if venting their anger, the two clouds of mist intertwined, their foreheads almost touching each other.

Chen Linhu didn't mean to let Zhang Xun speak like this, and he didn't expect to hear this kind of bloody self-planing. He saw the bloodshot eyes in Zhang Xun's eyes, growing like spider webs in his originally gentle eyes.

The bloodshot seemed to get into Chen Linhu's ears through the sound, and entered his body.

He broke and crushed each word three times, and his internal organs were instantly contributed by Zhang Xun's blood that spread into his body. A little excitement and throbbing emerged from the anger and disappointment, and they mixed together and ignited the fuse.

But soon he was burned by anger again—Chen Linhu realized that Zhang Xun said these things not to get closer to him, but to add bricks to the wall of his heart.

"What kind of feeling?" Chen Linhu stared at Zhang Xun, and said hoarsely, "Do you want to stay with me? Do you want to be next to me? Do you want to kiss me?"

Zhang Xun was so dazed by these three questions that he almost ran away.

Before he could answer, Chen Linhu said again: "Just like what I want to do to you, like me like I like you?"

Before that, in Zhang Xun's life, he had never been shaken by a word to the point where his heart collapsed.

Today he has.

He felt himself being flattened and blown, pinched into shapes with every word and comma.

Zhang Xun thought to himself, I will never forget this sentence in the future.

This would be the tooth mark left by Chen Linhu ferociously, gnawing off half of his heart.

"...Didn't you understand what I just told you? Don't talk nonsense with me here," Zhang Xun picked and pieced together a little order from the chaos, biting his heart hard. Tooth, began to pick him to scratch himself, "Think about Chen Linhu, think about your high school, think about the things you own, the people in your family... You are not a child anymore, what should you do? Need me to teach you? I played with my life once, don't be like me."

Chen Linhu's lower eye sockets were so dry, he stared at Zhang Xun without blinking, and carefully looked at the expression on his face: "Do you like me Zhang Xun? Don't think about it. Don't think about it. My business, just think about yourself."

Zhang Xun moved his lips with difficulty, and Chen Linhu said again: "Don't lie to me."

The eyes of the two met on the cold winter night, Zhang Xun's heart trembled again and again, Chen Linhu held his wrist with increasing strength, as if he was holding the only pass left.

"Let go," Zhang Xun felt his voice cut blood in his throat, hurt and hoarse, and pulled his hand back, "If you don't return the key, don't return it. Let go of your hand first."

Chen Linhu's collar was let go by Zhang Xun, but he didn't want to let go of his hands. He met Zhang Xun's eyes about to cut someone, and then slowly moved his fingers down one by one.

The heat on his wrist was gone, Zhang Xun seemed to have finally recovered his soul, and his first reaction was to run away immediately.

"Go back," Zhang Xun turned his head and walked away. When everything just now didn't exist, he walked up the stairs next to the grass, "Think about it carefully, and think about it again."

Chen Linhu didn't move, he stood in the same place and looked at Zhang Xun's back, took a breath suddenly, and said loudly: "Zhang Xun, I like you very much, very much!"

The sound was like thunder, resounding everywhere.

Zhang Xun turned his head in disbelief, thinking that Chen Linhu was crazy.

Crowds of people come and go by the river, and the lights are frozen stiff and cold at night in winter.

However, Chen Linhu's eyes behind him were like the fire that moths were about to jump at, burning hotly, frankly and straightforwardly, without any impurity of warmth.

"Are you crazy?!" Zhang Xun could almost hear the comments of the nearest passers-by, his heart almost jumped out of his chest, "Chen Linhu!"

"I dare to admit, I'm not afraid of those who don't have it." Chen Linhu raised his eyebrows and stepped up a step, "Do you dare?"

Zhang Xun was speechless, his face became hot for no reason.

What the hell kind of romantic drama is this, Chen Linhu doesn't care about face at all, Zhang Xun is scared out of his wits, and feels that Hun'er is floating happily, regardless of his skinny thoughts.

Chen Linhu looked at Zhang Xun from surprise to pursing his lips, his eyes from shock and anger to flickering, the airs he was holding were already shattered, and he opened his mouth to shout again: "Zhang——"

"Shut up!" Zhang Xun finally regained his sanity, and seeing the two young lovers walking ten meters away, he subconsciously rushed down the steps, trying to cover Chen Linhu's broken mouth.

Chen Linhu was taken aback by Zhang Xun who was killing him down the steps fiercely, and retreated reflexively, forgetting that he was on the steps, and stepped on the air and was about to fall. It was Zhang Xun who had quick eyesight and quick hands that pulled him away. Steady.

Zhang Xun, who had saved his life, covered Chen Linhu's mouth before saying "thank you", and cursed in a low voice like a ghost: "Don't jump up, watch while walking, don't talk, you he Mom doesn't listen to a word from me, does she?"

Chen Linhu covered his mouth with his mouth, his eyes widened in anger, and his claws immediately grabbed Zhang Xun's hand to tear it off.

The romance drama developed into an action movie, and the two wrestled together again for unknown times, each with their own ideas, fighting from under the streetlight into the shadows as if they were incompatible.

In the chaos, the trash can next to him made a loud noise. Before Zhang Xun could react, he saw Chen Linhu sitting on the ground, holding his legs and gasping for air.

Only then did Zhang Xun come back to his senses as if he had just woken up from a dream. The anger just now was instantly extinguished, and he squatted down to look at Chen Linhu's legs: "Just do it, open your hands and let me see!"

Chen Linhu clutched his knees and refused to let go, pursed his lips and looked intently, like a donkey. Zhang Xun refused to let go if he refused to admit that he was a carrot, and said sullenly, "It's okay."

"Don't cover it, do you hear?!" Zhang Xun was annoyed, and raised his hand to slap him, but he couldn't bear it, and his tone softened with his hand, "You have to compete with me, do you want me to give you a satisfactory answer? , even if you stumble, you have no right to help, right?"

Chen Linhu really wanted to say "yes" and pierce Zhang Xun's heart, but seeing the sweat on Zhang Xun's forehead, he knew that he was really in a hurry. Just now he was in a hurry and yelled regardless of the surroundings, but now he is in a hurry. He fell out of nowhere.

If it was placed a few hours ago, Chen Linhu might not have pressed so hard.

At that time, he still wasn't sure what Zhang Xun was thinking and how he saw himself. It would be immoral to force someone who had no feelings for him to accept it. Chen Linhu didn't want to do that.

But from Zhang Xun's words, he could see that they were the same.

This feeling made Chen Linhu wish he could run 5000 meters. He felt lucky, but also annoyed at Zhang Xun's cover-up and giving up.

The hand covering the knee slowly loosened, Zhang Xun couldn't care about anything else, and immediately pushed Chen Linhu's hand away to look at his knee.

The slacks were clean, not to mention blood stains, not even a speck of mud.

Zhang Xun was stunned, then looked up at Chen Linhu: "Cheat me?"

Before he finished speaking, a shadow was cast over his eyes, and his cheek was touched softly.

Chen Linhu's lips touched Zhang Xun's face like a superficial touch, and the touch stunned both of them for a moment.

"You've been tricked by the same trick all the time," Chen Linhu said in a soft voice next to Zhang Xun's ear, "Brother Xun, there's nothing you can do with me like this, you and I both know why."

Zhang Xun felt that the touch that touched his cheek instantly became the heat of being licked by flames. Before he could scold him, he heard people talking and laughing around him. He almost didn't think about it. Chen Linhu's head was tightly wrapped, and he looked around vigilantly, fearing that Chen Linhu's face would not be seen.

"I think you are really crazy," Zhang Xun suppressed the fire, cursing in disbelief, "This place is so close to home, have you ever thought about what to do if you are seen by acquaintances?!"

Chen Linhu was wrapped in Zhang Xun's arms, his frozen cheeks itched under Zhang Xun's body temperature.Zhang Xun's heart was beating fast, and his chest heaved violently due to his heavy breathing.

At this time, the first reaction turned out to be to cover him up.

He didn't even have time to think that he was still exposed in the eyes of others.

Chen Linhu's dog temper was smoothed out, he raised his hands involuntarily, put his arms around Zhang Xun's waist, and forced his chest to touch his cheek.

"I've thought about it," Chen Linhu rubbed his forehead against Zhang Xun's chest, "I've thought about it a lot, but you won't listen to me."

Zhang Xun was hugged by him, his body was stiff, but the people walking on the bridge were still looking down, so he could only cover Chen Linhu more tightly: "Then did you listen to what I said?"

"I listened," Chen Linhu said, "I know what you mean, but you just don't believe me."

"Fart." Zhang Xun paused and muttered softly.

"You just don't believe me," Chen Linhu tightened his arms, and grabbed Zhang Xun's back as if to vent his anger, "You don't believe that I really like you, and you don't believe that I can withstand the pressure from the outside world. I put myself in the position of a child who doesn't understand."

Zhang Xun couldn't answer, Chen Linhu's voice was so muffled that he felt uncomfortable, just by listening to the tone, he could tell that he was being wronged.

The reckless boy turned his head back down the mountain in high spirits, and knocked his head down the high wall erected by Zhang Xun. His nose was sore and his eyes were red. He knocked on the city gate and asked him why he didn't let him in.

"I'm not forcing you. I'm not forcing you to do what you want now. I also know that you are really scared. Your family is forced by a bunch of things. It's unlucky to walk all the way and step on all the pits. I know it, really." Chen Linhu closed his eyes, and said quickly like a machine gun, "So you are afraid that I will do the same, but I am really not a child, Zhang Xun, I will think about my affairs, you don't need to worry about these headaches, just tell me, you like it Me, Zhang Xun?"

Zhang Xun bit the tip of his tongue, using the pain to stay awake.

The person in his arms seemed to be a jewel that only stayed with him in the world. He knew he shouldn't steal it, but he didn't want to let it go.

Chen Linhu didn't get a response for a long time, and closed his eyes in Zhang Xun's arms: "...the key is in my coat pocket, if you can't answer, just take it."

After a while, Zhang Xun stretched out his hand towards Chen Linhu's pocket as if sleepwalking, and the air he inhaled turned into an ice pick, stabbing him in the stomach while telling him that he deserved it.

Chen Linhu closed his eyes, and felt that these few seconds seemed like a long Lingchi. He almost hated Zhang Xun in these few seconds, hated his heart made of steel, hated him who clearly cared but pretended to be sober, hated that he was eight years older than himself, did not Meet yourself at the most impulsive age.

There was a song playing from nowhere by the river. The lingering love song had to be sung in the cold night, as if everyone had to leave at dawn.

Zhang Xun's hand touched the key and a ball of paper. The paper ball fell out due to his movements, and he subconsciously picked it up.

The two words on the crumpled paper were facing him: Zhang Xun.

He spread it out like a demon, and the paper had been rubbed to the brink of death, but Chen Linhu's handwriting was still clearly recognizable - "I like Zhang Xun".

It's like a declaration to the world.

The above sentences are not logically written, but Zhang Xun can understand them all.After the fourth article, several branches were drawn. Chen Linhu wrote "economic independence", wrote "go to a more tolerant place", wrote "settle down at home", and wrote "raise cats", "give fat cats a final death" ","make money"……

Chen Linhu has constructed a rough road. Although the framework is very immature and somewhat funny, it is being built brick by brick.

The fear of the future when we first met seemed to be gradually cleared up. Chen Linhu was growing at an astonishing speed, paving a green and muddy path, intermittently heading towards the disconnected joint that Zhang Xun had buried in the weeds long ago.

Chen Linhu didn't hear anything for a long time, poked his head out of Zhang Xun's arms, turned his face and saw his list that was twisted like a salted fish, he was embarrassed and raised his hand to snatch it: "Damn, this is not... you Don't look!"

Without rushing, Zhang Xun's voice sounded: "You are really a fool, you are a fool."

Chen Linhu frowned, and was about to refute, but he heard a little trembling from the end of Zhang Xun's voice.After hesitating for a while, he tentatively reached out and touched Zhang Xun's face.

Feel a little warm water under the eye socket.

"It's all written by me," Chen Linhu was stunned, his heart ached, "Don't—"

Zhang Xun's last bottom line was smashed by Chen Linhu. This person is simply a siege weapon made in heaven. Zhang Xun only found out today that his city wall is a fucking scumbag project.

He hugged Chen Linhu and buried his face on his shoulder.

Chen Linhu felt the heat on his neck, he didn't dare to move, his heart suddenly calmed down, the turmoil just seemed to fade away, he stood on the ruins of his own city wall, and saw that Zhang Xun's city wall on the opposite side also collapsed .

That's fine, Chen Linhu thought, we can use the two of us's waste bricks to build a bigger castle together.

Chen Linhu was like walking a tightrope, halfway through the walk, he whispered: "Do you like me, Zhang Xun?"

After a while, Zhang Xun said in a nasal voice: "I really like it to death."

Chen Linhu laughed.

The tributaries merge, and the rivers can pour down.

The author has something to say:

Sugar, open your mouth, swallow.

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