you restrain yourself

After supper, the three of them went back to their rooms to sleep. There are quite a few rooms in the holiday villa, so no one would bother them, and each occupied one of them.

But maybe because of his worries, Ji Shuyan didn't sleep soundly, and kept having weird dreams. When he woke up from the dream, he picked up his phone and checked, and found that it was only three o'clock in the middle of the night.

He had only slept for less than four hours.

But he tossed and turned on the bed for a while, only to find that he couldn't fall asleep anymore, and it was useless to look at his phone for a while, so he simply got up and decided to sit in the yard for a while.

It's autumn night now, it's quiet and pleasant outside, and the weather is not too cold. Maybe walking around will help me fall asleep when I'm tired.

He put on a robe and walked out of the bedroom lightly.

But as soon as he reached the glass door on the first floor, before he had time to push the door open, he just opened it slightly, only to find that there were already people in the yard.

At three o'clock in the middle of the night, the yard was completely dark, only a few warm yellow street lamps dotted in the grass, emitting a faint light in a dense fog like night, and also illuminated the lone figure sitting on the sofa by the wall in the yard .

Duan Zhi was still wearing a black and gold-patterned bathrobe, with one hand resting on the armrest, holding a half-lit cigarette, his fingers were slender and strong, with well-defined joints, while his other hand was holding a mobile phone. Who are you calling.

Ji Shuyan was taken aback, the hand that pushed the door stopped, he didn't know whether he should go in, but before he could make up his mind, he heard Duan Zhi laugh coldly.

"If you can't change it, you can't change it. Whether you hate me or accept me, I am always like this," Duan Zhi's tone was very light, "I just like men, and I can't change it. Bow your head and admit your mistake, no."

shit.

Ji Shuyan almost slammed his head on the door and covered his mouth hastily.

Did he bump into Duan Zhi's coming out scene? His tone sounded like he was talking to his family.

He suddenly regretted coming out for a stroll, he didn't like to meddle in other people's private affairs, and Duan Zhi had a strong self-esteem, so it would be very uncomfortable to be bumped into such a humiliating scene by him.

He lightly let go of the doorknob, ready to leave, but just as he let go of his fingertips, he heard Duan Zhi outside the door saying again.

"Yes, I have someone I like. But don't worry, there are not so many perverts in the world, and people don't like me."

Ji Shuyan couldn't help but startled.

He couldn't tell whether Duan Zhi was sad, but felt that the words were said in a particularly cold manner, with no emotional ups and downs, flat and calm, just stating a fact that he had already accepted.

But he was a little sad to hear it.

I don't know if there is any more to say, but Duan Zhi has hung up the phone neatly, "Stop talking if it doesn't make sense, goodbye."

Ji Shuyan panicked, afraid of being discovered by Duan Zhi, he quickly prepared to run away, but in his haste, he bumped into the heavy curtain next to him, and the curtain pendant under it slammed onto the glass door, making a clear and audible crisp sound in the middle of the night. ring.

If you don't hear this, you are deaf.

Duan Zhi turned around in the courtyard, with a cigarette still in his mouth, his brows were slightly frowned, and there was still a little annoyance in his eyes, and he was meeting Ji Shuyan behind the glass door.

The air was quiet for a moment.

The two looked at each other, only the sweet and long-lasting scent of osmanthus wafted into the air, and when the wind blew, it stuck to the ends of the hair and eyebrows.

Now that it has been discovered, there is no need to hide.

Ji Shuyan smashed the jar, opened the glass door, and hesitantly greeted Duan Zhi, "Good evening?"

Duan Zhi raised his eyebrows, and let out a chuckle. He was sitting on the long sofa by the edge of the courtyard, and he patted the cushion, "Want to come over and have a seat?"

Ji Shuyan thought for a while, and walked over. When he got closer, he found several cans of beer on the table in front of Duan Zhi. He had already drank two cans, and there was a faint aroma of malt in the air.

Duan Zhi asked him, "Are you unable to sleep?"

"Well," Ji Shuyan said, "I wanted to go out for a walk, but I didn't expect you to be here."

Duan Zhi smiled, knowing that Ji Shuyan had more or less heard what he had just said, he didn't feel too uncomfortable. Anyway, he was not clear when he was with Ji Shuyan, but he just had a fight with his grandfather and aunt , I couldn't say how happy I was, so I picked up the beer and took another sip.

"How much have you heard?" He asked Ji Shuyan casually.

Ji Shuyan hesitated, "I didn't hear much, I didn't listen on purpose, I just heard the last two sentences."

But just these two sentences, the amount of information is large enough.

He looked at Duan Zhi's sharp and cold eyebrows under the soft moonlight, and asked again, "Are you arguing with your family to come out?"

Duan Zhi said "hmm".

He looked at the sweet-scented osmanthus tree in the yard, and remembered that there was such a sweet-scented osmanthus tree in the yard of his own house, which bloomed outside his study door, from spring to winter, and it was always there in all seasons. He didn't know that the tree was blooming now. No.

He could feel that Ji Shuyan was hesitant to speak beside him, as if he wanted to comfort him but couldn't organize his words well. He smiled and took the initiative to say, "Don't comfort me, since I will come out to my family, I'm mentally prepared Get ready, all of this is within my tolerance now," he turned his head to look at Ji Shuyan, "Actually, it's a little better than I thought, I had a showdown with my family during the summer vacation, because they were busy giving me a blind date, and I was in the family At the party, I directly said that I like men, which drove my grandfather crazy and beat me with a cane. My uncle wanted me to admit my mistakes to my grandfather, but my aunt was reluctant to scold me, but she kept crying. The whole family was messed up by me. It was a mess. They didn’t contact me for several months, until just now, my grandpa suddenly called me and asked me if I had changed.”

He answered no.

It can't be changed, and he will never change it in his life.

He took another sip of beer, saw Ji Shuyan next to him look solemn, and made a joke, "Uncle Ji, why are you so serious, do you think I'm too ridiculous?"

For a person like Ji Shuyan who is self-restraining and accepting gifts, who has been well-behaved all his life, and who takes good care of his family as his own responsibility, his behavior is probably enough to be called frivolous Meng Lang.

Obviously there is a better solution, and he can drag and soften slowly, but he still chooses this method that leaves no way out.

But it was his nature.

Ji Shuyan stared at the two empty cans of wine on the table, but he was thinking about another question.

In the passage just now, Duan Zhi never mentioned the attitude of his parents. He mentioned grandpa, uncle, and aunt, but his parents seemed to have disappeared, never showing up from the beginning to the end.

He knew that Duan Zhi's parents were divorced, and he was not considered close to Duan Zhi, but it was impossible for his parents to be ignorant of such a big matter, let alone say a word.

It's just that this question is not suitable to get to the bottom of it tonight. If Duan Zhi doesn't talk about it, he doesn't want to ask it.

But looking at Duan Zhi's casually smiling face, he felt panicked in his heart.

He thought, Duan Zhi is not without sadness, this young man always looks cynical, even when he comes out of the closet, he is frivolous and rebellious, he doesn't care.

But he knew that Duan Zhi was not as cold-hearted as he appeared.

He sighed, and lightly patted Duan Zhi's head, "Although it's not up to me, an outsider, to say this, I don't think you're wrong."

There is affection in his action, just like comforting Ji Yuan who failed the exam when he was a child.

He is also a parent. Although he is a little younger, Ji Yuan was brought up by him alone. He loves this child so much, and he never wants Ji Yuan to suffer a little grievance, so he can't understand why there is such a deep hatred that he must put his child Get out.

He whispered, "Parents and you don't always agree, and Ji Yuan and I can't agree with each other forever, but I love him, we can tolerate each other, no matter what he does, I can't help but want it He. Your parents have no way to understand you for the time being, because their thinking is more stubborn and the environment they grew up in is different, which is understandable. But you, as juniors, don’t need to obey us forever. Hurt anyone, that's braver than a lot of people. You don't need an apology."

He didn't know if Duan Zhi's parents would reconcile with him one day, but on this intoxicating autumn night with the fragrance of osmanthus, all he could do was tell Duan Zhi—you were not wrong.

Duan Zhi stared at him blankly.

The moon was sparse, and Ji Shuyan was wearing a blue-gray robe, revealing a swan-like neck and pale and thin hands. He was bathed in the moonlight, like an eminent monk practicing Taoism in an ancient temple, gentle and compassionate.

But Duan Zhi only felt that there was a fire burning in his heart, and it was coming menacingly, and Ji Shuyan was about to be involved, and fell to the end together.

He really can't understand Ji Shuyan, he thinks he is frivolous and dissolute, saying that he is unreliable and causing trouble, but it is also Ji Shuyan, who has never really rejected him, making exceptions to him time and time again, and treating him gently, in this She tried her best to comfort him at night.

He has only one heart, and he has already fallen into it all. After finishing the book, he handed it over to Ji Shuyan. He really doesn't know how else to love him.

He smiled, his nose felt a little sore for no reason, the cigarette in his hand had already burned out, and the end of the cigarette burned his hand accidentally, but he didn't feel a little pain.

"Uncle Ji," he looked at Ji Shuyan with a complicated expression, "I am not sitting here today but someone else, will you comfort him like this?"

Ji Shuyan did not expect this problem.

He thought about it seriously, "No, I know something about you, but I'm not familiar with other people, so why should I speak?"

He spoke with confidence, and he didn't look like Cihang Pudu just now.

Duan Zhi laughed even harder.

He threw a can of beer to Ji Shuyan, "I can't sleep anyway, why don't we have a drink together?"

Ji Shuyan stared at the beer for a long time. Since the last time he was recruited in a bar, he had hardly touched alcohol.

But looking at Duan Zhi beside him, he still nodded, "That's fine."