winter suicide plan

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We bought flowers, we bought sunflowers.Chen Shuning has the habit of wrapping flowers, and many bouquets want to add sunflowers.He doesn't have the color sense of the art of wrapping flowers. He likes sunflowers, just as he has always loved the pot of chamomile.Chamomile gave him the smell of hope, and sunflowers gave him the color of hope.

He said that He Rongnan would like it. She obviously didn't have long hair, but she kept a sunflower rubber band all the time, but the hair band was already loose, and she didn't have long hair either, so she always wore it on her wrist.

I have never really met this girl, I think the girl who can leave such a deep impression on Chen Shuning must be a gentle and brilliant girl, such a good girl will always stay in her flowery and brilliant years.

After Chen Shuning put down the flowers, he squatted and sat down, looking at the photo on the tombstone.

"Long hair looks good, He Rongnan."

"I'll give you flowers, more than 100, I won't pick them."

"I think you...should like sunflowers."

Chen Shuning couldn't control his tears. I stood beside him and watched his hair flutter in the wind.

He used to be like a dead leaf with nowhere to fall to the ground. The girl on the tomb was like his kind, another dead leaf that could not fall to the ground.There is no destruction and decay, and there is no winter and spring.

Chen Shuning trembled, tears gathered from the tip of the pen and said: "Are you stupid, why did you cut your favorite hair for the bad guys, tell me, why didn't you tell me, you even asked me to save you I was never given a chance.”

I am inexplicably jealous of this girl, which has nothing to do with any gender. She can make Chen Shuning weigh so much, be so afraid, and have such a deep memory. She is the fuse of his sorrow.

I'm really selfish, I don't want to share Chen Shuning's thoughts with others.

I also sat down, leaned against him, touched my shoulders, and felt that his whole body was sore, his eyes, nose and cheeks were red, standing with tears and water vapor.Like the only leaf left on a branch in winter, he persisted alone in the bleak cold wind.

As the sunset glows, it comes dimly and goes dimly.He cried for a long time, said a lot, he shouted, shouted, regardless of everyone, he said his miss, his regret.He cried harder and harder, and I hugged him, he should have lost his strength long ago.

"I'm so sad, Tang Fengxing, why are people so sad, I... It hurts so much, my heart hurts so much."

The pain of the passing away of the same kind, I started to move from him covering his heart, and it really hurts along with it.

"Hey, Ah Ning, don't cry, don't think about it anymore, it's over, it's time to turn the page, this leap, she should really be relieved."

"Why didn't you let me go at first?" Chen Shuning raised his head suddenly.

I saw his tear-soaked eyes, foggy, with tears in the corners.

I wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes with my fingers, and answered him seriously: "Because I'm selfish."

Chen Shuning kept staring at me, and when I blinked, I could see small drops of water on my eyelashes again.He kissed my lips and said to me sincerely: "Thank you for your selfishness, for letting me know what it's like to be loved."

"What's the taste?"

He took my palm over and put it on his heart, sobbing and said: "Did you hear your hand, did you hear it jumping, it always hurts because of many things. It hurts so much just now, it hurts me My fingers are hurting, but with you like this, I don't hurt anymore. With you here, it doesn't hurt here. Although I will always be sad, I am still warm without pain. It's like eating a full meal, and the stomach is warm and safe Comfortable."

"Maybe you brought me warmth other than you. He Rongnan, Wu Huawen, and Li Jingyuan all let me know that my existence is valuable."

"I may leave because of the thousands of pains the world has given me, but I will definitely stay because of you, never go anywhere, and always be by your side."

Chen Shuning bowed solemnly in front of the grave, with tears dripping down on the ground, he solemnly said to her, "Thank you."

He took my hand and walked out of the cemetery.

While being torn apart by pain, Chen Shuning rebuilt himself from the ruins.

He stayed low and didn't speak when he got home.I know he can't be disturbed in such a state, he is caught in his own emotional thoughts, disturbing will only affect his emotions more.He walked into the door and whispered to me, "Leave me alone for a while."

Just as he was about to close the door, he explained again: "It's not that I don't want to talk to you, nor is it that you are bad, it's me..."

His words were garbled, and I understood what he meant.

"I didn't think that way. If you want to stay by yourself, you can stay by yourself. You don't have to be so careful."

In fact, he was alone, I was still vaguely worried, but my trust was more important.I nodded, he closed the door, I listened close to the door, I heard the sound of him pouring the medicine, and then heard the sound of opening the closet.

In the closet again.

Chen Shuning is like this. When he is sad, he will not cry in front of us for too long. He will choose to take the medicine, get into the closet, hug my clothes, press them on himself, and fall asleep in a daze with the medicine. Wait for this time to pass slowly.

It's more like a habit, he said he likes the closet better than getting up, it has my smell there, it's very strong, like the feeling of being hugged.

I smiled, feeling puzzled, and asked him why he didn't let me hug him directly.

He smiled and said, I don't know, maybe sometimes the people closest to me and the one I love the most will feel timid, so that there is only a corner of taste, so that Chen Shuning can recover quickly.

Although people are not in front of them, the taste evokes many memories.He said that the smell on my body is the smell of warm sun and white sugar water.

Ultimately what he meant was to tell me that the best memories he has are those that relate directly to me, so he likes that.

I sat on the sofa in the rented house, gradually penetrated into his body, and squeezed out the bitterness and rot in his original body.When he is emotionally pulled, it affects him and also affects me.

I will be tired, but I will always guard him, because he said that he loves me, and this is enough for me to be good to him in my whole life.

I finally finished writing the summary report and recorded the dossier. Nearly an hour has passed.I took out the spare key and gently opened the wardrobe.

Chen Shuning slept docilely in the pile of clothes, like a little lamb, obediently staying in the corner, neither crying nor making trouble.There is no such pain of life and death, only the tranquility of the water.

I slowly took off all the clothes and carried him out from the head. After taking the medicine, he could feel me hugging him, and he started to move a little bit, which was relatively stiff.

I comforted him: "It's me, it's okay, hug me."

He cried, his eyes were swollen, he couldn't open his eyes, he waved his hand twice, grabbed my earlobe, and started to caressingly touch it.

I couldn't help laughing, my heart was itchy, and I asked in a low voice: "Is it easy to touch?"

He made a dull sound "um" in his throat, and his hand movements began to slow down to a stop, until his hand slipped from my earlobe weakly.

I also got under the covers and patted his back and said, "Get up later and cook noodles."

"Tomato..." He spit out these two words in sleepiness.

"Well, that's tomato flavor. So what shall we have for tomorrow morning?"

I often ask him this, because I want to tell him that we have tomorrow, a normal day, when I go to work, and he prepares to go back to school.Simple, daily necessities, occasional sex days.

I rubbed his face with my fingers and said, "What do you want to eat tomorrow morning?"

He was thinking during my two questions, soft and vague, as if he was humming something, as if he was acting like a baby: "I want... I can have breakfast with you."

"How about some porridge?"

He then took the initiative to rub my fingers, and there was no movement. I knew he agreed, but he also fell asleep.I kissed his forehead, and I couldn't help but let out a roar of joy in my heart, wanting to write in my diary a million times: I like Chen Shuning the most!

I wrote as I said, I got up, took care not to touch the chamomile, opened the bedside table, took out the original diary booklet inside, and began to write "I like Chen Shuning the most!" After I finished writing, I read carefully. Out.

"I like...Chen Shuning the most." I wrote it stroke by stroke.

After a while, Chen Shuning's muffled voice came: "I like Tang Fengxing the most."

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Tang Fengxing's perspective