winter suicide plan

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Extra Nine

[happy perspective]

I recently came to work in a new company. When I was moving, I heard someone standing outside the open door chatting, pointing to the door next to it. It didn’t look like their home.

I put down the suitcase, and the agent gave me the key. He followed my gaze and reminded me in a low voice: "You'd better not have anything to do with the building in front. I heard that the person is not in good spirits and is a lunatic."

"Why do you say he's crazy?" I said a little annoyed.

The aunt who was carrying a red plastic bag next to her looked as if she had found someone complaining, not afraid that the family would hear her, and said in a high-pitched voice, "You're new here? Let me tell you, this person is mentally ill. What kind of bipolar disorder, hysteria. From time to time, I heard him go downstairs at night, waiting for someone on the public seat at the gate, and he never waited for someone. It’s scary to wait all night. This door will never be closed. Closed, I don’t know how many things were stolen. When he passed the door at dinner, he, talking to the air, isn’t this a lunatic? What is it? It doesn’t work to talk to the management here. here."

I was furious after hearing this, and remembered that brother Ning, who lived with Jianzilou, was driven away in this way.In the winter of that year, I was just young enough to go to school. All of them knew that Brother Ning had committed suicide. I heard the sound of an ambulance downstairs, and there were spots of blood in the stairs.I ran down to find Brother Ning. I wanted to see him, but my mother didn't like him very much. She always said he was mentally ill and told me to stay away from him. She took me back and I cried all night.

I can't see it at all, his house is very warm in winter, and the rice is piping hot. Every time he stuffs the big chicken drumsticks into my bowl and asks me to eat quickly. The tomato soup is full of tomato soup, which is the favorite of the person next to him. The two of them were talking and laughing, and it was the taste of home. These are completely different from the cold ones made by my mother. I like his home.

Why is the elder brother who always treats me to dinner the one they say?

I heard that Brother Ning got well in the end, but he can't live here. I saw it at the door, and they all stood at the door and told Brother Ning to move away, saying that he would commit suicide, and he would be mentally ill and harm others. I think I wanted to run out to have a look, but my mother pulled me in and the door was locked.

I never saw him again.

I kicked the door violently: "Auntie, you know what's wrong with him, you just say he's crazy, did he hurt you, no, he ate your rice, stole your WiFi. Maybe he is Waiting for someone, what’s wrong with him not having a partner to talk to the air? See if the smell is gone, at such an old age, you still defecate everywhere, and when you open your mouth, the smell is stinky, don't stand at the door of my house, polluting the air."

"You, you, you..." The aunt was very angry, pointing her finger at me, stomping her feet, her fat two lumps of flesh were shaking.

I didn't bother to pay attention to him. I rolled my eyes at him, squinted my eyes, hugged my suitcase, hooked my orchid finger, pinched my nose and said, "It stinks, go away."

I closed the door, packed my things, heard a knock on the door, and opened the door.A bony man stood in front of me, his white shirt was empty, his hands trembled, his eyes dodged, and his head was buried very low.

"Hello, is something wrong?"

The man brought out a steaming bowl of tomato soup from behind and said, "Hello, at home...I have cooked too much at home, do you want to drink?"

Pleurotus eryngii mushroom boiled tomato soup, I took the bowl of soup and asked uncertainly, "Brother Ning?"

Chen Shuning raised his head suddenly, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes moved and said, "You know me?"

"I'm happy. The one who often eats at your house is happy. When I was a child, the pot head was on the stairs. Do you remember?"

"Happy, happy, I... I'm sorry, I don't have a good memory recently. In the future, you don't have to worry about what they say, just let him say it. You will live with them for so long , don't ruin the relationship."

Brother Ning looked at me apologetically, his legs and feet were not good, he limped and walked home, but still did not close the door.I took the bowl of soup and drank it, it tasted like Brother Tang often made, and the skinny one in front of me was Brother Ning.

I continued to live a life of eating and drinking. Brother Ning was the same as before. He seemed not to welcome me, but every time I came, he prepared all kinds of dishes. He insisted that he wanted to eat something good. , In fact, I can't eat these things at all.Occasionally at night, when I came out to take out the garbage, I could hear him vomiting, so I would go in and have a look. He shook his head, took the medicine, ignored me, and fell asleep without closing the door.

If I close the door, he'll wake up with a start, very bad-tempered, yelling angrily that he can't close the door, and coughing when he's angry.

With such poor health, why is there no one around?

These days, I haven’t seen Brother Tang again. I want to ask him where he went. When I walked into the bedroom and saw the black and white photo in the corner, I seemed to understand something...

When I came back from get off work, I saw a woman arguing with Brother Ning.

"Chen Shuning, I always told someone to take care of you, can you just listen carefully, don't let it go for nothing, don't you have any points for your body?"

"Go away, I haven't reached the point where I need to be taken care of by others."

"My brother told me to take good care of you, but you can't..."

"I don't need to mention what a fool like him is, so get out."

The bad-tempered middle-aged man is playing with his temper again, and the woman is stepping on her high-heeled shoes. Only then did I know that Brother Ning's health has long been in extreme condition, and he is about to break down when the wind blows twice. He is so stubborn that he will die Don't want anyone to take care of him.That woman is Brother Tang's younger sister, and the suicide note probably told her to take good care of Brother Ning.

I've grown up so much, I already knew what their relationship was, so I took this job on my own.

It's probably because I want to repay my favor, or it's my atonement for being a bystander.

Before they moved out, Brother Tang and I were the only ones in the house, and Brother Ning went downstairs to buy salt.I asked him why many people seem to hate Brother Ning so much. Brother Ning doesn't seem to be in a good condition. Is he sick? Why does he always take medicine?

Brother Tang patted my head and said: "Sunflowers need to grow in places with strong sunlight. If there is no sun, sunflowers cannot bloom. Is it the problem of sunflowers?"

"Of course not, that's the sun's problem." I replied.

"Yes, it's the problem of the sun, so you have to move the sunflower to a place with the sun, so that the sunflower will bloom in the sun. It's the same with your brother Ning. If there is a suitable sun, he will be fine."

At that time, I didn't understand it, but when I grew up, I understood that it was not the sunflower's fault, but the problem of the bad environment.

Hasn't Brother Ning found a suitable place with sufficient sun so far?

I often go there to sit after get off work and watch Brother Ning.Brother Ning's memory became very poor, and sometimes he couldn't remember his own name, so he walked over with a black leather notebook and asked who was the person named "Chen Shuning" in the diary.

But he remembered Tang Fengxing, his name, and his appearance.When I turned on the light in the room, I could see that the room was full of photos of them.He will forget his name and his appearance, but he can always remember Tang Fengxing, remember things related to Tang Fengxing, and don't remember the previous ones.

After taking the medicine and being sober, he has a good temper and answers all questions.

I asked him, "Why don't you remember your own name, do you still remember Brother Tang?"

He said: "Forgetting is tantamount to disappearing. There would be no Chen Shuning in the world without Tang Fengxing. There would be nothing like this without Chen Shuning here, but it would be impossible without Tang Fengxing. The world would be better with him."

That night, I shouldn't have raised this question, Brother Ning seemed to be irritated.I was pulled back from the public chair at night, so I didn't blow the air underneath.All who pass him avoid him and walk against the wall.

His spirit began to be in a trance, he asked me, who are you, I said, I am happy.He said he didn't know him, but he didn't drive me away either.

He reheated the food, set chopsticks for me, and chopsticks for him.He was sitting there upright, touching his peeling hands, and after waiting for half a quarter of an hour, he suddenly asked me: "Happy, hasn't Feng Xing come back yet?"

"Brother Ning, he's working overtime, let's eat first, I'm hungry." I lied.

"Why are you working overtime again? It's too hard. I'll call and ask when he will come back."

Brother Ning shook his head, took out his mobile phone, pressed the number "1", and a string of phone numbers popped up - the emergency contact is Brother Tang.

The phone rang for a long time, Brother Ning looked very unhappy, I bit my chopsticks, and heard him say: "Happy, why hasn't Fengxing answered my calls?"

I didn't know how to answer his words, and he didn't expect an answer from me. He just called repeatedly, as if a clockwork robot could only do this one action.

In the middle of the night, I was worried about him, and the door was not closed, it was too unsafe.I was sleeping on the sofa, I heard the noise, and saw Chen Shuning as thin as a ghost floating in the moonlight, as weak as if he was about to disappear under the moonlight.He looked at the window for a long time, then walked from the kitchen to the hall, and said as he walked, "Tang Fengxing, are you back?"

Facing the photo on the wall, he smiled and said, "Welcome back."

He crawled into the closet slowly, weighing himself down with all the clothes.

I was sitting next to the closet, and I heard Brother Ning repeating a sentence in a low voice: "Tang Fengxing, I miss you so much. Tang Fengxing, I miss you so much..."

I hugged my knees and listened for a long time, it turned out that he was really waiting for someone...

On the morning of November 2059, 11, Brother Ning put on a white suit, dressed himself up very nicely, and was in a very good state of mind. He said he was going out to get a cake, and someone ordered it for him.

I thought it was his birthday today, so I told him happy birthday and said that I would come back to celebrate with him in the evening.

He smiled and said no, happy.

Greeting as usual, Brother Ning looked really happy.

It rained at one o'clock in the morning, and I missed Brother Ning's birthday. I saw the only circle of friends posted by Brother Ning at 00:00 in the morning-Happy birthday, I'm going home.

go home?What home?

When I walked back quickly, I still smiled and sent a message to Brother Ning saying that I would be punished for drinking three drinks. Finally, I sent him a birthday wish on WeChat, asking if he was going back to his hometown?

I went upstairs and found Brother Ning's door closed.

The door was finally opened by the police in the early morning. There were two glasses of red wine on the table, the candles had already been extinguished, and a documentary about the ocean was playing on TV. .

The black-red liquid from the corner of Ning Ge's mouth dripped onto his chest and trouser legs, and red flowers bloomed on his white suit, forming dotted roses

A greeting card was inserted on the cake, which read——To Chen Shuning: Happy 52nd birthday.

This is the last Moments picture posted by Brother Ning.

At five o'clock in the morning, it was announced that Brother Ning was officially dead. He had successfully committed suicide in winter.

At six o'clock in the morning, a rainbow appeared in the sky.

I sat at that table, looking at the untouched mouthful of rainbow cake, and then at the rainbow by the window.

I think Brother Ning waited until Brother Tang closed the door and went home.

......

**

>*I used sunflower petals to describe your eyes*

>*I also fantasized about running away with you*

>*I thought I was brave enough to stay together*

>*I now suspect those secrets are only remembered by me*

>*.......*

"Hey! It's all over, Tang Fengxing, why don't you come to pick me up, I've been waiting for you for so long?"

"Come on, Aning, I'm here, let's go, let's go home."

End

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Happy April Fools' Day