winter suicide plan

===========================

[Chen Shuning's perspective]

I got my driver's license at the age of 40, and happily took Tang Fengxing to his 40th birthday. His birthday was in April in the spring. According to the year, he was eight months older than me. The grass grows and the warbler flies. On a warm day, brother Mingsheng is indeed right.Celebrating birthdays after work is a very routine dating process. After eating and watching a movie, after watching the movie, I want to take Tang Fengxing to do something different.

I said: "Let's go to the sea, the coast is an hour from here, just about two glasses of wine, how about cake?"

Tang Fengxing walked out with me and patted my head and said, "Why do you think that it's just a one-time out, what should I do if I catch a cold when I go to the beach without any thick clothes?"

In the first three days, I just caught the flu, and I said boldly: "The immune function will become stronger every time, because more and more viruses are recognized, and it is not easy to catch a cold."

Tang Fengxing pinched my face and said, "I'm still 40 years old and still compose fake health-care articles like those in WeChat, why don't you learn something good."

"Hey, that's wrong. That's outrageous. Don't you think it's too ordinary to celebrate your birthday like this? It's not good to be impressed?"

"Is it enough to be impressed by watching the sea catch a cold? It is indeed possible. I am so worried that I am impressed."

"No." I leaned close to his ear and licked the pinna on purpose. "I think it will be more impressive to watch the sea and have sex late at night. In the car, there is heating. You will definitely not catch a cold if you hug me."

Tang Fengxing's ears turned red again, I grabbed his hand and shook it twice: "How about I give you a special gift?"

Tang Fengxing's neck turned red when he heard this, and he nodded hesitantly. He took me to buy two bottles of Snow Beer, took a custom-made cake, and waited for 30 skewers.As a result, when we were walking on the street, I walked past a street sign with him and stopped.I have walked past here twice, Tang Fengxing asked me with a smile: "Is the car parked here, Aning?"

"Well... probably over there."

"We just came over there."

I was carrying the plastic bag, and the beer was banging against each other. I put my hand in the pocket of my coat and struggled to say, "I remember this is here."

Tang Fengxing laughed out loud on the street: "I see, you can't find where the car is parked."

I parked the car first, and then went to find Tang Fengxing.I looked around, met his eyes, pretended to be flabbergasted and said straightforwardly: "Yeah, I can't find it."

For a long time, we couldn't help laughing, and we laughed and scolded ourselves for being too stupid, because we are only 40 years old and our memory is not good.I took his hand and he wiped away my tears.In the end, the beer was no longer iced, the cake was a little melted, and the skewers were almost cold.We walked around a few times before we found the car, and we didn't have time to see the sea.We parked by the lake in a city park, opened the trunk and sat on it.

I rubbed the back of my head and said shyly, "Just treat this place as the sea, and I'll make it up for you next time."

He kissed me and said, "It's a deal."

Drinking beer and eating skewers may not be idealized as imagined, but Tang Fengxing ate very happily, and his face was a little blush from drinking.When lighting candles and eating cakes, the candles were shining, and he made a promise, saying sincerely that he would get better soon and feel good every day.

In an instant, my throat was blocked, and I suppressed the tears from flowing out of my eyes: "Don't promise me, I'm already in a good mood every day, and your wish has come true."

He nodded, and then wished that the person around him would be healthy and safe.

Simple but the most difficult wish to realize, he looked at me and touched my cheek, it turned out that I shed tears unknowingly and wet his fingers.

"I will grant you one last wish."

"How can you give it to me? It's your birthday."

"But I don't have any wishes anymore, so I won't waste it if I promise you."

I put the cake on my lap and glanced at him, bright and mature eyes, the candlelight leaped like life, we have reached the juncture of 40 years old, everything is unbelievably stable, happiness is so frightening I was terrified.Occasionally lying in his arms and thinking, we can still have a few more decades.

I looked up at the starless sky, my throat was choked up, my nose was sour, and as if I had finished a bottle of beer, I said slowly and tremblingly: "I hope..."

"I hope...in the next life you don't forget me, you can bump into my bicycle, pick up my notebook again, and like me again, I hope...in the next life I can like you first, we I can love you forever."

After saying these words, I couldn't cry anymore, and the tears left my chin. He wiped them off with a tissue, and the eye circles were also red.We wiped each other, he cried, but smiled and said, "Why are you talking so provocatively?"

"Tang Fengxing, happy 40th birthday."

Why does no one wish to be happy, because happiness is difficult, and we always place our unfulfilled wishes here.The moon was bright and the stars were sparse, we had a long kiss in the carriage, it was so long that time froze.

I didn't eat the cake, to be honest, I didn't eat it, but he did.

He said that there is no project of watching the sea late at night, but the latter gift can be completed.

So he ate up my piece of "cake" and wiped it clean.

2 [Tang Fengxing's perspective]

"Hello, is this Mr. Tang?"

"I am, what can you call me?" I was inexplicably nervous when I received a call from a stranger while I was sitting in the office.

"Hello, Mr. Chen, who made an appointment to take wedding photos, can't get through the phone. When do you have time to come and take photos?"

I pinched my phone and froze for a long time.What did Chen Shuning make an appointment for?Wedding photos?Is it the wedding photo I heard?Oh my god Chen Shuning wants to take a wedding photo with me? !Why didn't he tell me?

"Hey, Mr. Tang, are you ready?"

I calmed down, thought about our free time, and made an appointment for the weekend.The staff member said yes and hung up.I sent a message to Chen Shuning, but I didn't expect him to come to me during lunch break.

"call you?"

"Why didn't you tell me about this kind of thing in advance?"

"Surprise."

"I'm really surprised, how did you think of this?" I hugged his waist and leaned my face against him.

Even though same-sex couples are not allowed to get married now and cannot obtain a marriage certificate, they can go to a photo studio to take photos with the theme of wedding photos.

Chen Shuning smiled and touched my head: "It's not that there is always a lack of a wedding photo that can be hung on the sofa. Wu Huawen's family has a family of three. We have been together for almost 30 years. There is no wedding ceremony or marriage. It’s not fair to you if you don’t have any photos.”

"Well, okay, Aning is fair and just, and we want to."

Taking pictures on the weekend, Chen Shuning specially used black hair dye to cover up some of the white and silver hair that appeared, and asked outside the photo studio: "Do you still have silver hair? Recently, there are many wrinkles around the corners of the eyes. I am old, will it be ugly?"

"No, it's very good-looking, and looks like my handsome other half."

"Which other half do you have?" Chen Shuning kissed me viciously at the entrance of the photo studio.

Immediately, I blushed shyly, whispered to my ear, "Isn't it you?"

Dazheng red background wall, the two of us in white shirts sat upright, listening to the photographer's instructions, looking at the Canon camera in front of us, kissing in the last photo, the flash flashed, and took our 50-year-old wedding photo.

[Chen Shuning's perspective]

Tomato passed away, and he was too old. He died of stomach problems, and the treatment was too painful. The doctor suggested that euthanasia is better at this age, and it will be very painful after a short treatment.It watched it close its eyes in the pet hospital.My heart ached from meowing and meowing. The animals I raised for the first time would always lick my palms to comfort me when I was sad.In the end he licked my hand, there were tears in the corner of his eyes, it seemed to say goodbye to me, there was no meowing on the plush blanket, and there was no breathing at the end.For the first time I wasn't overly depressed, sad but not sinking.During the injection of euthanasia, I didn't dare to look at it. My eyes were covered by Tang Fengxing, and my tears were all on his hands.I accepted the death of the tomato, buried it in the garden of the house I bought, and planted a tree, possibly superstitiously hoping that the life of the tomato would be transferred to the growing tree.

After Tomato passed away, I felt vaguely uneasy. Life was too smooth and happiness was too much to indulge in warnings. The trees did not grow very well in the past two days, and they seemed to be withering. The branches were still sprouting and growing a month ago.

Without telling Tang Fengxing, I went to the temple to ask for Zhang Pinganfu, and secretly stuffed it in his briefcase.

I secretly relaxed a little, we have been intoxicated in the normal but happy days, as if we are no longer demanding anything in this life.

But not long after, I received a call from the hospital. Tang Fengxing was retaliated against because he was implicated in a criminal case by a nearby local snake. The organization sent someone to secretly drive him over and run over his leg.For the first time, I felt that death was so close to me, and I couldn't stop myself from trembling and vomiting, and there were noises in my ears.He performed defibrillation all night and wrote a full page of records. I stood outside in cold sweat and took medicine to calm down.In the end, I thought that Ping Anfu had worked. He came back after a trip to the gate of hell, but he was not out of the ICU, and he was fixed with a steel nail in his calf.

When he woke up, his face was white and he was still smiling.I saw that he was injured so I didn't dare to get angry with him. He had catheters inserted all over his body, including those in the chest and stomach, and the catheters drained the blood in the stomach.I tried to keep the ward as warm as possible, and I brought the pot of chamomile from home. His back seemed to be better, but there was blood in the catheter every day.Said that the ward was too boring, and asked me to dance for him, just the dance song "Spring Blossoms" before.

I said I don't want it, I want him to dance with me when he is ready.

He was even more persistent than usual, and he shook the chair behind him and said he must watch it. I know why he must watch it. The patient is the biggest, the patient is the biggest.I took off my shirt in the ward and threw it to him. He smiled and sniffed it roguely with the nose that checked the tube.Every time I turn it, I feel that he is aging a bit, with more wrinkles on his face and grayer hair.I held the air, walked the familiar dance steps, smiled at the corner of my mouth, and hummed a tune.

He was very satisfied, and let me go to bed to rest against him, saying in a low voice that the dance was better than last time.

I said it because I don't need to cooperate with you and step on each other's feet.

He said that I will also practice next time, and try not to guess your big feet.

I said, well, what you say is what you say.

He said to withdraw.

I said no.

He then asked me where would I go if he was gone?

I said I'm going to Hainan, where it doesn't snow.

He asked me why.

I said there is sunshine all year round, just like you will always be there, and I will always remember you.

He said in a weak voice, well, it's not cold there, and it's not easy to catch a cold.

I said I'm not going, I want to stay here, I will catch a cold and feel sad, which made him worry about me all the time.

He also said yes.

We turned our heads and kissed, there was a tube between us, it was very uncomfortable.But I was not willing, I kept rubbing his graying hair and said: "I love you, I love you Tang Fengxing, love me for a few more days, okay?"

He didn't respond, just kissed.He didn't say yes the first time, but was silent instead.

I kissed him, and I knew his heart rate went from 60 to 50, and then to 30, and the machine kept beeping, and he was getting weaker and weaker to respond to my kiss.

He kissed the ring on my finger: "Are you happy with me all these years?"

"Happy... There's never been a happier time than this, too happy to be real, so happy to be scared."

"That's good, I am the same. I have always been happy with...you, very happy. I am so lucky to be with the person I have a crush on."

"Don't you mind that I never knew you liked me from the beginning?"

"Well, I won't mind if you don't love me in the end. **I'd rather you be happy, even though you'll be far away from me.**"

"Why are you such a fool."

He only thinks for me, makes wishes for me, and promises peace to others.How stupid.

He smiled and said but now you are mine, very close to me, and very happy.He used all his strength to get close to me, kissed me again, and sucked like he couldn’t bear it. I responded enthusiastically to him, hoping to give him more vitality. In the end, there was only a straight line left on the heart rate monitor, and I was the only one left on Didi. Kiss alone in the beeping sound.

--------------------

Early warning of trifles in old age, stop if you don’t like be!