Heartbeat misses Nick Charlie

When the last bell rang, I should have shed a few tears, just a few.

I'm not as exaggerated as Harry.He literally wailed and everyone wanted a hug, scaring off several 7th graders who just wanted to take the bus home.

While that doesn't mean I won't see these friends of mine in the future, I'm still a little sad.No more wearing the same school uniform, no more rounders during lunch break, no more gathering in the common room for cookies during free time on Wednesday afternoons.

Can't play with Charlie at school either.

I still have some worries.Coming out as bisexual in college was probably the main one—the numerous coming outs in high school were painful enough.There are always people who haven't heard or simply don't understand what you're talking about, so all I can say is that I'm bisexual.Leaving the house also made me a little scared, and I was a little worried about whether my mother would be able to take care of herself when she was alone at home.

Of course, I also miss Charlie left alone.

But anyway, getting out of high school was exciting - I couldn't wait to go to college and be free to do what I wanted and learn what really interested me.Finally, I can leave this dark town, live alone, buy food by myself, and control my time freely. It is simply heaven.

"Harry asked if we could go to his graduation party tomorrow," Charlie asked from the passenger seat, fingers swiping on his phone.During this time, when people who know us want to contact us, they usually message Charlie, because I often forget to reply.He's far more organized than I am at this.

"I'll go if you go," I said, pulling the car out of the school parking lot.

"Then let's go together, the dance must be bad anyway."

"Makes sense." We were all quiet on the drive back to my house.Charlie took out the sunglasses he had kept in the door storage compartment and put them on, turned on the radio, slumped his feet back into the chair, and continued to check his phone, presumably Tumblr.To be honest, the weather is particularly good today, with the blue sky reflected in the car windows.I rolled down the window, turned up the volume on the radio, took the camera out of my pocket, and snapped a quick shot of Charlie.His face was full of sunshine, his black hair was blown by the wind, and his body was curled up on the seat.

He immediately looked at me with a smile on his face. "Nick!" I smiled and turned my attention back. "It's okay, don't worry about me."

"At least remind me."

"That's not fun." We used to go to one's house together after school.Generally speaking, I go to my house more often. After all, my mother usually works, and my brother also has a house outside, so the whole house belongs to us.Over the past few months, our parents have sometimes allowed us to stay overnight at each other's houses, even on school nights.My mother never cared, but Charlie's parents were much stricter.Charlie said that if he asked too many times a week, they would definitely say no.

We all know this isn't quite normal, and our parents probably don't think it's normal either.Don't get me wrong, they're fine with us, it's just that normal teenage couples don't go to each other's sleepovers on school nights, do they?They don't get tired of being together every day, do they?I have no idea.

We don't care either.

Things Charlie and I do in our house: play games, watch TV, watch movies, watch YouTube videos, do homework, study, nap, make out, make love.Sitting in the same room quietly each holding a laptop, playing board games, cooking, making drinks, getting drunk, planning concerts, planning vacations, building pillow fortresses, having sex in pillow fortresses (well , only did it once, but we did, I swear).Playing with my dog ​​Henry, helping Charlie's brother Oliver build various legos, talking, arguing, yelling, crying, laughing, cuddling, sleeping, texting each other in different rooms.Charlie practiced drums, made playlists, and read books.I took pictures with my mobile phone, drew him while he was not paying attention, and made foreign food that neither of us had tasted.

We're relaxed and maybe a little boring together.But honestly, we're all pretty content.

Today is the same as usual, we go to get a drink when we get home.I put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, Charlie put on the t-shirt and jeans he left at my house yesterday, then lay down on my bed and open my laptop.

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked before going downstairs.

I always ask him a question after school.Charlie was severely anorexic when we first started dating.He had to go to a psychiatric hospital for a few months, which helped him a lot, but I guess he still had some problems.This disease will not be cured easily, but his condition is much better than before, and other aspects are also better than before.He basically has no problem eating meals now, but he still doesn't eat snacks.

"No, I'm not hungry," he replied as usual.

I'll keep asking him, I'm sure one day he'll change his answer.

I went back upstairs with two slices of toast and a glass of lemonade to find Charlie frowning at his computer.

I sit next to him. "What's wrong?" He glanced at me, then clicked something. "It's okay, just play Tumblr casually." I don't play Tumblr. Although Charlie has persuaded me many times, I still feel that this thing is not suitable for me.

Charlie rolled over to make room for me, then pulled out his phone.I lay down next to him, turned the computer toward me, he had turned Tumblr off, I figured it wouldn't be something I was interested in.

Another page is about the Leeds University rugby team I was looking at this morning and I want to apply to join them.

It's where I'm going in September - University of Leeds.It's quite far from here, about two hundred miles away.Charlie and I have talked about the fact that we are going to be in a long-distance relationship. Although it is definitely not as good as being together every day like it is now, we both agree.

Charlie, who works saturdays at Topman's men's clothing store, pays quite well, and he thinks he can take the train to me every few weeks, and I can take the train home every few weeks, which means we are at least once a week. We can meet once every two weeks, and we can text or video call anytime.

I started to introduce Charlie to the Leeds University rugby team - how many levels there are at the university, is there any chance of me being selected (I think I'm fine, you know, I think I'm really good at playing rugby), their gym How much does membership cost, will I get a job in college, should I apply for an athletic scholarship, will I be the cutest of my classmates, and how nice their uniforms are (green and white).

Charlie lay quietly and listened to me babbling, occasionally asking questions, and after a while I realized he was starting to get bored, his voice got quieter, and he started fiddling with my sleeves, and then, in the middle of what I was saying , He leaned over and put his arms around my neck and kissed me.I'm a little surprised because we're well past the stage where we have to make out every time we're alone.

After a few seconds I tried to back away, but he pulled me even harder towards him.I smiled against his lips and I could feel him laughing too, but neither of us stopped, and after about a minute I felt my hand begin to stroke his hair unconsciously.It's a bit strange to do this at this time, but it's hard to care about, his body keeps moving forward, and he's already lying on top of me.

"Do you want to talk about something else?" I murmured, wondering what this was about.I push back the hair on his forehead, I may have a strange obsession with Charlie's hair.

Our eyes met.He sat up, leaned back and turned on the radio, playing The Vaccines.He lay back and shook his head, "No need." His lips came over.