Don't try to bend me

If it weren't for being a fool, how could you say such things to yourself in such a cold day with so little clothes on.

Gu Jiqing just looked at Zhou Cibai quietly.

Zhou Cibai also looked at him quietly.

It seems that after a long, long time, it seems that only one snowflake falls to the ground.

Gu Jiqing opened his mouth softly: "Zhou Cibai, can you buy me a roasted sweet potato?"

"Ah?" Zhou Cibai was stunned for a moment, then he reacted and said immediately, "Okay."

Then he quickly ran to the old man's booth and said, "Choose me the biggest and sweetest sweet potato."

"okay!"

When Zhou Cibai ran back holding the hot roasted sweet potatoes, Gu Jiqing said again: "I don't want to peel them."

"I'll peel it for you, keep your hands in your pockets, don't freeze."

Zhou Cibai seemed to be very natural when he said these words, he lowered his head to peel the sweet potato, the hot skin made him pinch his earlobe unconsciously twice, and his fingers were also stained by the ashes.

But the look of peeling the sweet potatoes is so serious, as if it is such an important thing to see.

It wasn't until most of the warm-yellow, sweet and soft sweet potato core was exposed that Zhou Cibai wrapped the lower part of the outer skin in a plastic bag and handed it to Gu Jiqing: "You eat first, and I'll peel the rest for you after you finish eating. "

"Yeah." Gu Jiqing took it, without even saying thank you, just put one hand in his pocket, and held the roasted sweet potato in the other, lowered his head and ate it, then turned and walked towards home.

Zhou Cibai followed nervously, and carefully asked, "Is it sweet?"

Gu Jiqing said: "Sweet."

Zhou Cibai breathed a sigh of relief.

Gu Jiqing didn't talk all the way, just ate sweet potatoes in small bites, carefully put away the bag, changed his clothes as usual, calmly packed up the materials he needed for tutoring, then raised his head and asked at the door of his room Zhou Cibai who was standing stupidly said, "Can you send me to a tutoring place?"

Zhou Cibai nodded quickly and said, "Oh, good."

Then he turned to get the car keys.

Gu Jiqing called him to stop: "Remember to add clothes."

It was only after Zhou Cibai realized that he went back to the room to add clothes.

Fasten Gu Jiqing's seat belt as usual, play Gu Jiqing's favorite music as usual, and as usual, can't help but take a peek at Gu Jiqing leaning against the car window while waiting for a red light sleeping face.

As usual, Gu Jiqing finished his tutoring seriously, and then left the villa. Zhou Cibai stayed at the door and did not leave. Seeing him coming out, he immediately handed him a glass of heated strawberry milk that he had just bought from a convenience store.

Gu Jiqing took the milk and got into the car.

The two returned home together, Zhou Cibai cooked Gu Jiqing's favorite sweet and sour short ribs, and gave Gu Jiqing a handful of green vegetables that he didn't like.

Everything is the same as before.

It was as if nothing had happened.

Zhou Cibai was even in a trance for a moment, wondering if Gu Jiqing could see his thoughts and understood his words.

After dinner, Gu Jiqing sat cross-legged on the sofa, looked at Xiaoxin on the screen who was carrying a small backpack and was about to run away from home, and said casually: "Zhou Cibai, I will move out tomorrow."

Zhou Cibai who was washing the dishes suddenly turned around: "Why?"

At that moment, Zhou Cibai's eyes widened blankly, like a puppy afraid of being abandoned by its owner.

Gu Jiqing felt pain in his heart, but he still lowered his eyelashes and said softly, "Because we have crossed the line."

What do you mean by crossed the line?

He has crossed the line and he knows that he has liked Gu Jiqing from the very beginning, not just wanting to be a bed partner with Gu Jiqing, but why "du"?

Why did Gu Jiqing still want to leave when "all" crossed the line?

Zhou Cibai had a lot of questions to ask, but he said that he didn't want to force Gu Jiqing, and he didn't want to ask Gu Jiqing too much, so he could only anxiously say: "But you still want to stay in Beijing as a tutor, if you move Now that you're gone, where are you going to live? What about porridge?"

"I can live at Shen Zhao's house."

"I don't agree." Zhou Cibai did not rely on Gu Jiqing, "It is clearly stated in the agreement that you want to move to my house, how can you play tricks?"

He spoke in a hurry and felt a little aggrieved.

Gu Jiqing really wanted to touch his head with a chuckle like before, but he couldn't, he whispered: "The agreement is beyond count."

Zhou Cibai: "Why?"

"Because we are just bed partners in the agreement."

"But there's nothing in the agreement that says I can't like you!"

"But I dare not like you."

A little silence.

Gu Jiqing said softly: "Zhou Cibai, you like me maybe because of the hormones at this age, I like you, maybe I just get used to your good temper, so I think I may need to quit a little bit, you let me Let me, okay?"

There was a kind of helpless sadness in his tenderness.

Hearing Zhou Cibai felt so distressed.

He felt that Gu Jiqing was like a little snail, carrying his own little shell, and living carefully in this world, until he found a big and safe leaf, under which he lived. , he likes the leaves, he wants to stay with the leaves, he is used to the leaves to help him block the sun and wind and rain.

But a naughty child suddenly appeared and pushed away the leaf, and then the little snail realized that he could not do without the leaf.

But the little snail grew up from a snail, he felt that everyone would leave him, he didn't dare to fall in love with a leaf, so he wanted to retract his little tentacles and return to his safe shell.

Zhou Cibai couldn't blame such a little snail for not being brave enough.

He just felt a pain in his heart.

He suddenly wondered if he hadn't left Nanwu when he was in junior high school, if he had been a better, more courageous and mature him at that time, if he had been by Gu Jiqing's side all the time, would Gu Jiqing have been able to live happily ever after? Be happier.

Will he be willing to be a little orange cat lazily waiting to be fed by him, instead of a wounded little gray cat who is cautious, sensible, gentle but afraid of relying on others?

But if there is no if, then at least he is not willing to make the current Gu Jiqing sad.

Zhou Cibai turned off the faucet, wiped his hands, walked over, squatted in front of Gu Jiqing, touched his head, and said, "Okay, if you want to be alone, just be alone, but you As I said, you are a person who keeps your word, so you can’t cheat on the agreement. You and Porridge have to live in my house. It just so happens that it’s the end of the year these few days, and the family is very busy. I’ll go home and live for a while, okay? .”

Gu Jiqing smelled Zhou Cibai's body, and wanted to hug him very much.

He wanted to bury his head in Zhou Cibai's neck, hang on him like a koala, and be carried from the sofa to the bed, and then from the bed to the sofa, just because he didn't like wearing shoes and socks at home, Zhou Cibai was afraid that he would catch a cold.

But he can't.

He didn't even dare to look at Zhou Cibai again, or say another word to him, so he could only lower his eyelashes and say, "Okay."

Zhou Cibai said: "Then can I hug you again?"

Gu Jiqing said: "Okay."

He was carefully wrapped in his arms and put on the bed.

That hug was as warm and powerful as every hug before, but the previous hug was full of fearless enthusiasm like a childish and reckless puppy, but this time the hug was gentle and firm from a mature man.

When Gu Jiqing was buried on Zhou Cibai's shoulder, he smelled the familiar smell of sage and sea salt, and felt a certain kind of moisture that slightly fainted Zhou Cibai's linen.

Fortunately, the linen is very thick, and the little wetness is only his secret.

·

When Zhou Cibai moved away, Congee Porridge seemed to feel something, and anxiously walked back and forth in the room, biting Zhou Cibai's trousers for a while, and biting Gu Wuwu for a while. Jiqing's trousers seemed to want to pull the two of them together.

Gu Jiqing was so entangled by him that he couldn't help it. He lowered his head and tried to coax it with canned meat, but the porridge, who was always greedy, didn't even look at it, and just circled around Zhou Cibai anxiously.

In the end, it was Zhou Cibai who hugged Congee Congee at the door, rubbed its head twice, and secretly communicated in a low voice in the language of the same kind: "You should work hard, add some fuel, and find a way to make your father Move back soon, okay?"

He has already tacitly agreed in his heart that Gu Jiqing is Congee's father, and he is Congee's father.

Porridge porridge woo woo woo a few times, I don't know if I understood.

Then Zhou Cibai stood up, and pitifully said to Gu Jiqing who was fiddling with canned meat in the room and thinking why he didn't eat porridge: "Then I'm leaving."

Gu Jiqing suddenly felt like a bad owner who abandoned the dog.

He lowered his head: "Yes."

On the first day of Zhou Cibai's departure, Gu Jiqing was the same as before. He slept late, made lunch in an orderly manner, and played games on the bed after eating. The god dog baby is very rare, and he has never encountered it.

After playing the game, I took the bus leisurely to go to tutoring.

The child he tutored was a sophomore girl from the High School Affiliated to Tsinghua University. She was very smart, but she was rebellious and refused to be disciplined. Only when Gu Jiqing came to teach her did she behave well.

In addition, Gu Jiqing promised to win at least the bronze medal in next year's competition, and the girl's parents gave him an extremely generous reward.

After the four hours of training every day during the winter vacation, he can get a salary of nearly [-] yuan, which is enough to cover his basic expenses after becoming independent from the Gu family in the next semester.

When he got home, he cooked himself a bowl of sweet and sour noodles, sat on the sofa, watched Crayon Shin-Chan while eating, and then washed and went to sleep.

The next day, too.

On the third day, it was still like this.

He has enough self-care ability and self-survival ability, he takes good enough care of himself and Congee, he doesn't think about Zhou Cibai, he thinks that he may not be so inseparable from Zhou Cibai.

So on the third night, he bought himself a sweet potato and took it home. He peeled it open and took the first bite, but found it was bitter and not sweet at all.

He threw the sweet potatoes into the trash can.

Then I got sick at night.

An unexplained illness.

He took good care of himself, not freezing, not cold, not hungry, not injured, but the illness just came.

Wrapped tightly in the blanket, hugging Congee, he lay on the sofa, buried his head in Congee's warm fur, trying to absorb some warm comfort, but it seemed that nothing was enough.

He fell asleep drowsily, dreaming about when he was very young.

He was so young that he only remembered the snow-white ceiling of the hospital, and Yin Lan who had red eyes all day long, she said, "Just, Dad has become a star in the sky", "Just be good", "Just drink the medicine and you'll be fine." It doesn't hurt." "Just, look at the new gloves that mom knitted for you." "Just, as long as you get better, mom can do anything."

Then there is the luxurious and spacious villa and garden of the Gu family. His mother hugged him wearily and said, "Just, this is what Mom owes the Gu family, so you will call Uncle Gu Dad from now on, okay? Is the child okay?"

He remembered that he said yes at that time.

Because he had just entered elementary school at that time, he was very smart, and he learned to recognize many, many characters. He secretly looked at the notebook that his mother cherished and hid, it was written: [Baby, this is January 2001, 1, It’s a new year, and you are here in the belly of the most beautiful mother in the world. Dad loves mom very much, and dad loves you very much, so you will protect mom with dad in the future, okay]

He thought he must have hooked up with his father when he was still in his mother's womb, so he had to protect his mother well, so that there might always be a star shining for him in the sky.

But the sky in Nanwu is always cloudy all the year round, and he can't see the stars.

He got the first place in the grade, but his mother was going to hold a parent-teacher meeting for his brother. He was very tired after finishing his homework, but his mother wanted him to make a pictorial for his brother. He liked to learn to draw, but his mother told him that he was much better than his brother. , Gu's father was angry, he wanted his mother very much when he was sick, but his mother told him that she was going to take care of his brother.

He wanted to cry and make trouble, but he couldn't, because he loved his mother.

He thought, maybe he has no stars.

Gu Jiqing felt very cold, so he wrapped the quilt tightly.

Then he felt someone warmly approaching him, and he called hoarsely: "Porridge."

"I'm here."

Ok?

Can porridge talk?

Gu Jiqing struggled to open his eyes, and then saw the stars.

his star.

It's just that today's stars look a little red, and they are still in a hurry.

Gu Jiqing wanted to coax Xing Xing, but realized that he had no more stars, so he drove his own Xing away.

Gu Jiqing closed his eyes tiredly, approached the familiar smell, and fell asleep peacefully.

Before he fell asleep, he heard someone say anxiously and angrily: "Gu Xiaomao, you are a little bastard."

Well, he's just a selfish and cowardly little bastard.

·

When Gu Jiqing woke up again, he was in the hospital.

Probably a private hospital, he was the only one in the ward, clean and tidy, the sun was shining warmly, a beautiful wintersweet was planted on the bedside, the fragrance was very quiet, only the liquid in the infusion tube was ticking.

Gu Jiqing recalled for a while, probably remembering what happened, he sighed softly in his heart, thinking that the withdrawal reaction was really obvious.

He himself is a very inertial person.

That's why I went to the wrong bed just because I just changed the dormitory, so I habitually treat others well, and that's why I can't get tired of eating sweet and sour short ribs.

What's more, his habit is still Zhou Cibai.

Such a good Zhou Cibai.

He clearly told Zhou Cibai not to like him, because he is not worth it, but why does Zhou Cibai still like him.

Gu Jiqing remembered what Zhou Cibai said "dogs are very clingy", he turned sideways helplessly and closed his eyes.

Sure enough, he shouldn't provoke such a young big dog.

The door of the ward opened soon, and a young large dog walked in with a bag of sweet roasted sweet potatoes and chestnuts in its mouth.

Zhou Cibai put the roasted sweet potatoes in a thermos to warm them up, then sat on the edge of the bed and started peeling chestnuts.

He looked at Gu Jiqing's pale sleeping face on the hospital bed, and felt that he hadn't seen him for three days, Gu Jiqing's chin was pointed again.

It must be because I am gone, some people don't eat well, sleep well, and they have to step on the carpet with bare feet in winter.

Zhou Cibai thought of how Gu Jiqing curled up in the corner of the sofa when he rushed back last night, his whole body was scorched, and his heart ached.

He couldn't help but whispered: "You drove me away, I was so wronged, I didn't tell you, then at least you take care of yourself, if it wasn't for Congee Porridge's sensible voice, it made people complain upstairs Neighbor, you are going to be burnt from a pretty young age to an idiot pretty, you know that?"

Stupid Xiaomei was awake, but she had never heard Zhou Cibai speak to him in such a tone, and the fingertips under her head were slightly curled up.

Zhou Cibai didn't notice, just lowered his eyelashes, peeled the chestnut in his hand, and said in a low voice: "And why are you so cruel, I said moving out is to retreat, waiting for you to call me home every day, but you actually I haven't sent me a message for three days, I changed my profile picture to a little orange cat and a big white dog, you must have not seen it."

His voice is the deep voice of an adult.

But revealing a childish grievance.

So much so that Gu Jiqing wanted to tell him that he saw it and liked it very much.

But Zhou Cibai opened his mouth again: "And you are not reasonable at all, I have said it all, I like you not because I only want to be with you, you also said that I like you because of hormones, if it is not for chasing you , I won’t sign a bed partner agreement with you, and are you an idiot, that bed partner agreement is obviously a marriage agreement, don’t you see it at all, and you still play tricks and don’t give me rewards.”

Zhou Ci peeled a chestnut in vain.

The tone was filled with grievances that could not be concealed.

Gu Jiqing: "..."

So what reward did he promise Zhou Cibai?

"I learned some powerful followme skills for rewards, but you turned your head and forgot, and laughed at me with brother sauce, do you think you are a heartless cat?" Zhou Cibai said, On the other hand, he pressed open another chestnut.

Gu Jiqing: "..."

Then he was really bad.

"and……"

And what?

Gu Jiqing also wanted to hear how bad he was usually.

Then Zhou Cibai lowered his eyelashes and said in a low voice: "And Gu Jiqing, I really miss you."

I don't know if it was Gu Jiqing's illusion, but he seemed to hear a kind of sadness and sadness that could not be concealed or escaped in that "missing you".

His heart hurts a little.

It's not that it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, he doesn't want Zhou Cibai to be sad, he really wants to hug Zhou Cibai, like Zhou Cibai used to do every time he was wronged, he smiled lightly and touched his head, he really wanted to Let Zhou Cibai hug him and walk around the room without worrying about anything.

So he was thinking about it.

He wanted to be nice to Zhou Cibai, to make Zhou Cibai happy, and to let all his laziness go in front of Zhou Cibai.

Thinking about it this way, it seems that I am not so tired.

He slowly opened his eyes and saw the person in front of him.

Probably because he came out in a hurry at night, he only put on a coat in a hurry over his home clothes, and lowered his head to peel chestnuts. He was still handsome, but his eyes were red, as if he hadn't slept well for a long time, or had secretly cried.

Will Cibai cry that week?

Will the 1.9-meter-high, cold, scumbag-faced sportsman cry secretly because he doesn't like him anymore?

Imagining how wronged and sad Zhou Cibai looked, Gu Jiqing wanted to laugh, but felt his heart hurt so badly.

This pain surpassed all the exhaustion and exhaustion he had put in to maintain a relationship.

So don't like it, wouldn't it be easier than liking it?

Gu Jiqing was not very sure, he just opened his mouth slowly: "You learned the skill very well."

"..."

After a long silence, Zhou Cibai raised his head.

He met Gu Jiqing's extremely beautiful eyes, which seemed to contain tenderness, distress, longing, and some kind of answer.

After realizing that what he just said might have been heard, Zhou Cibai's ears immediately became popular, and he stood up in a hurry: "Well, you're awake, I'll call the nurse..."

"Zhou Cibai."

The three gentle and calm words stopped his turning around.

Zhou Cibai turned his head and asked, "What's wrong?"

Gu Jiqing lay sideways on the hospital bed, looked at him, and found some small stubble on his chin, he asked: "If I don't want to like you, will you be very sad?"

Zhou Cibai didn't want to put pressure on Gu Jiqing, but he didn't seem to be able to say anything against his will.

He lowered his eyelashes and didn't answer.

But Gu Jiqing just said in a gentle voice: "Zhou Cibai, I don't seem to be a brave person. I don't know if the love you said really exists in the world, and I'm not sure if I deserve that kind of love, but you Very good, very good, so I don't want you to give so much love, but not receive the same amount of love, you shouldn't live this kind of life."

Zhou Cibai's heart sank heavily.

His fingertips felt cold due to the sudden disorder of blood supply.

He didn't know how to prove to Gu Jiqing that there is such love in this world, and Gu Jiqing is worthy of such love.

At that moment, he panicked and felt as if he was about to lose something completely.

Then Gu Jiqing said: "But I don't want you to be sad."

Zhou Cibai raised his eyelids.

Gu Jiqing looked into his eyes and said: "But Zhou Cibai, I don't seem to want you to be sad, because I seem to be sad too, even more sad than when the Gu family was very hard. I think I might not be able to quit. Lost you."

At that moment, Zhou Cibai's already cold blood completely stopped functioning, even his breathing and heartbeat stopped, as if he was waiting for the sentence of life and death.

And the person he likes looked at him like that, with gentle and firm eyes in a sickly face, and said slowly and gently: "So Zhou Cibai, are you willing to wait for me, when I learn to love myself well?" , and then give you the same, many, many, complete love."

He believed his stars would not deceive.

So the little snail gently stretched out its tentacles, and tentatively touched Ye Zi's head.

And Ye Zi stood there blankly, like a fool.

Gu Jiqing looked at him and said, "Can you give me a hug, I miss you so much."