always looking at you

02.

"Yeah!! Kise-kun is so handsome!!"

"As expected of Kise-kun, you are simply unstoppable!!"

"Ah ah ah ah! You are too handsome, I am going to faint!"

The screams one after another made me feel bored.To be honest, just jumping up, turning around, and hooking the ball into the basket, I didn't see how handsome it was at all.Also, I really hate exercise.It's hard to sweat, and it's tiring.

But even so, I still come to the basketball department to watch him play every day. Why?

I can't figure it out, but I'm happy that my illustrations have come to an end, and the H pictures of the three illustrations are almost complete, and I just need to color them and it's OK.But something always felt wrong.There's nothing wrong with Kise's posture or face, so what's wrong?

Isn't it a bit bad to ask the other party's opinion with the H picture with the other party as the protagonist?And it's still corrupt.Shouldn't it be considered perverted?However, no matter how I draw it, I feel that something is wrong...

Where is it?

I closed the drawing board very irritably.Recently, I always feel that there is an irritability in my heart that has nowhere to vent.What's wrong with me?It seemed that he was yearning for something. For the first time, even painting could not calm his mind.

"Rina~chan~" A hand suddenly put on my shoulder from behind, and the beautiful face approaching was Fujikawa Airi: "Rina has been super weird recently, often in a daze, and always seems to be very irritable. "

I froze.Is my impatience so obvious?Even Airi could tell at a glance.

"Look, my brother is also very worried." Airi held my shoulders, and twisted my body to the direction of Ryosuke, just in time to see the black-haired boy looking away in a panic, and the guilty look made me see I was speechless for a while.

My head was full of black lines: "What the hell is he doing..." Is this guy an idiot?

Airi waved her hand casually: "Brother is just saying what he means every time. I'm just a sullen guy ~ leave him alone, Rina-chan, what happened recently?"

"fine."

Airi dragged her voice out with obvious disbelief: "I'm lying~ Rina-chan, who has always hated sports, often goes to the basketball club recently. Could it be that she fell in love with someone~" When the word "fancy" was mentioned, she slyly rushed I blinked.

"You think too much!!"

How could it be possible to see who or what.I guess I just thought Kise was weird and that's why I wanted to study him.Isn't it enough for me to paint?

I always thought so until that day came.

I've never watched Kise lose, which is probably why I find basketball boring.I didn't understand it at first, and it was a sure win with absolute strength. There was always a feeling of being unmotivated.Although their movements may be quite difficult to do, or they may be hooks or slam dunks, but for me who don't understand them at all, it doesn't make sense.

However, in that practice match, Kise lost to a new school called "Seirin".Although I don't care much about sports, I am very clear about the fact that our school is a famous basketball school.It never occurred to me that our school would lose such a thing.

At the beginning of the scene, Kise was still smiling and waving to the girls in the audience, but was kicked hard by their captain, Kasamatsu-senpai, and fell to the ground in an extremely embarrassing posture. ... This guy really is an idiot!

Although I thought so at the time, I still didn't think that this guy would lose.I was probably sure that he would win, and I watched the game casually.

But the more I saw the back, the more serious I became.Although I don't know the advantage of the opposing team, but I saw the goal that overwhelmed their score before the whistle blew.

Kise stood there in a daze for a long time, until crystal clear drops of water slipped out of his eyes.At that moment, I was shocked.The whole person stayed in place, and his head was buzzing.

Are those tears?Kise's tears?Kise, he... cried?

Kasamatsu-senpai kicked Kise as usual before he woke up from tears, I was taken aback by his dazed look, and I was completely speechless.

I think I was frightened by Kise's tears.I hardly heard the small whispers around, and at that moment, I seemed to only see Kise.This feeling is amazing.What is this sudden sour feeling?The heart is sour and soft as if soaked in aged vinegar.Am I... am I feeling sorry for Kise?Why? !

I do not understand.

Because I didn't understand, I decided to go all out and ask Kise, because it was because of him that I became like this.

I knew that Kise would come out from the back door, because there were too many girls watching him, and with his personality, he couldn't be rough with girls, so he would avoid them.But because of painting, I have already searched all over the school.The hidden door of the mere gymnasium is just a trifle.However, I didn't stop Kise until dinner time.

He still seemed downcast.

He was visibly taken aback when I stopped him.When he saw my face, he showed a reassuring expression: "Ah, it's Ehara-chan, long time no see."

It hasn't been long.I look at you every day, but you don't see it.

I went straight to the point: "Ryota Kise, I have something to show you."

I handed him the H picture with Kise as the main character.Kise took it without knowing why, but when his eyes caught sight of the painting, his face turned pale with fright, his legs softened and he sat on the ground directly, the hand holding the painting trembled so much that it almost crumpled into a ball.

"E...Ehara-chan! What is this?!!" Even his voice began to tremble.The blond boy fell to the ground and looked up at me with a terrified face, his tone of shock.However, the disappointed expression before had disappeared.

"Kise, didn't you say so. I want to see my portrait."

"I'm not talking about this kind of portrait!" Kise groaned, looked at the painting in his hand again, and then...he blushed suddenly.It seemed that it was not the right time to blush, he hastily raised his arms to cover his red face, his warm yellow eyes sparkled, and then he said "uh" in pain.

Kise buried his face between his knees, with his arms hanging to one side, even though he was frightened to death, he did not throw away the painting in his hand.It took a long time before he mumbled out a sentence: "Ah!... How embarrassing!!"

"Kise-kun," Kise-kun's reaction was beyond my expectation, but I persistently needed an answer: "I think there is something wrong with this painting, can Kise-kun help me see it?"

"Hey! Why is this..." Kise raised his head in protest, his face was still flushed with accusations, and his eyes were shining brightly at me.

I lowered my eyes and looked at him quietly: "Can't you?"

Kise Lai couldn't get up on the ground: "I don't want it...QAQ"

I stretched out my hand to Kise: "Kise-kun, anyway, stand up first. The ground is very cold."

It was the same cafe as yesterday.

"Woo! Why would I do such a thing..." Kise was embarrassed, and I thought maybe this was the first time he was sitting on pins and needles in front of everyone's eyes.

However, I have something to confirm even if I am considered a pervert.

It seems that if I do this, my anxiety, uneasiness, and inexplicable emotions will be explained, and I can return to the previous me and calm down completely.I changed back to the previous me who only needed to paint.

"Is the overlapping posture wrong?" I asked in the spirit of being serious about academics.

"How do I know such a thing!" Kise didn't use that kind of polite tone to me for the first time, but I was in a strangely good mood.

"Ehara-chan, this is exactly like me... and it's a color picture! The hair and eye color are the same!" Kise lay down on the table with a bitter face, and two lines of noodles fell down with tears.

"Well," I nodded, "because it's a magazine illustration."

Kise's face was completely stiff.

"No! You must not post it, Ehara-chan, I will definitely be suspected. I will not even be able to find a girlfriend by then, Ehara-chan!"

"Kise-kun is very popular, it's okay." I comforted him thoughtfully.

"That's not the problem, Ehara-chan...QAQ" Kise said helplessly.

"If Kise-kun tells me what's wrong, maybe I'll consider not sending it to the magazine."

"Really?!" Kise really began to look at it for me seriously.

"Ehara-chan's composition and lines are very beautiful, but..." He scratched his cheek and smiled wryly: "The expression is wrong. At this time, I should... No, 'he' should not show such an expression .”

At this moment, I suddenly understood what the so-called missing thing was.Yes, I love painting, but although the scenery in the painting is beautiful, it has lost my unique style. What is the meaning of the scenery that is the same as the photo?The real beauty should be the changes in the scenery under the sunlight at different moments, which is the so-called light and shadow transformation.

Just like what Kise said, the vivid expressions and demeanors of the characters in the portraits are only slightly different, and the whole painting will be different.The Kise in my H picture should not have the serious expression in my memory, but a little forbearance, and the warm yellow eyes are a little darker, revealing longing...

If so, how can I draw it?I know that painting is not a rigid dead thing, it has the pulse of the soul and the rhythm of life.But even if I understand it, I can't draw it, because I have never seen it...

Suddenly, I really wanted to see Kise Ryota with more expressions.

Laughing, crying, painful, forbearing, blushing, desperate, even... desire.

"Why?" I blurted out abruptly.

"Huh?" Kise tilted her head to look at me suspiciously.

"Why do I want to draw Kise-kun, why do I go to the basketball club to watch Kise-kun's game, why do I want to keep watching Kise-kun? Why does my heart feel sour when I see Kise-kun crying, Kise-kun is obviously very motherly when she cries."

"Hey...how can you be so girly..." Kise answered with an aggrieved face, staring at me with warm yellow eyes in surprise, and said with a smile: "But, is Ehara-chan confessing to me? I'm still the first Being confessed like this once..."

I denied it: "It's not a confession. It's just a doubt."

"Hey, is it? That would be great." Kise didn't get entangled in this, but smiled easily.

The moment I saw this smile, my heart suddenly clenched tightly, it hurt so much.

What's wrong with me?

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