The princess is reborn

Xie Yan's voice was cold, and the expression on his face could be regarded as pure-hearted and ascetic. He was clearly a decent young man, and he usually acted like a gentleman, but he said such shameful words to me.

After I heard that, I felt like I was breathing faster for a moment, and my face was so hot that I could boil a pot of boiling water.Because I was shy, I quickly curled up in Xie Yan's arms, buried my head like an ostrich, and dared not face what would happen next.

Xie Yan looked at me deeply, forcibly not allowing me to dodge, his thin arms didn't show me any affection, he lifted me up by my waist, like a cat owner easily grabbing a coquettish cat.

I felt extremely frustrated, Xie Yanwai obviously did not look like that kind of burly man, but tall and tall, full of bookishness.But his strength is really great, he can often hold my two hands with one hand, and easily carry me on his shoulder with one hand.

Obviously they are all men, compared with his thin arms and legs, my thin arms and legs are just beautiful decorations.

I was extremely helpless, but I could only wrap my arms around his waist like a child, wrap my arms around his neck, bury my face in his shoulder, and let him carry me to the bed.

I thought he would be so desperate to get close to me, but he didn't.

During this period of time, we slept together almost every day, and shared the same bed every night. Although Xie Yan was not obvious on the surface and often pretended to be cold, I could feel that he was very keen on being intimate with me. The mole is more interested. He often kisses, licks, and bites it. Every time, he has to force me to beg. Forgive him, he will let this little mole go.

But he held me in his arms at this moment, but he didn't make any other movements. He seemed to be thinking about something, and he was not in a hurry to touch me. He just teased my jaw with his fingertips, like teasing a cat.

I'm not the kind of impatient person, besides, Xie Yan and I get along like this most of the time, even if we don't have close lips and teeth, or physical entanglement, I still feel peaceful in my heart.

The cold white moon slowly fell on the treetops outside the window, the perched jackdaw flapped its wings and flew into the distance, the autumn wind gently shook the leaves and made a rustling sound, there was a special kind of tranquility tonight, as if a strong wind swept across The eve of the dark clouds.

I'm not good at drinking, and I drank too much tonight. Before that, I drank several jars of freshly opened Nurhong with my father, and then drank the Hebei wine with Xie Yan. After the lips and teeth intertwined, I couldn't even breathe. Poor, I felt a little drowsy, and the heavy drunkenness slowly climbed up my face, and I suddenly felt that my cheeks and ears were hot.

My eyes were stained with water mist due to drunkenness, quietly looking at the bleak moonlight outside the window, my mind was so sore, and the stamina of strong alcohol surged up at this moment, I suddenly longed to talk to Xie Yan, even more so. He hugs me.

"Thank you, give me a hug."

I made such a shameful request without any shame, looked at Xie Yan with longing eyes, curled my lips down in aggrieved manner, and secretly made a decision in my heart, if Xie Yan dared to refuse me, I would wipe my nose and tears on his clothes superior.

"En." Xie Yan sensibly did not refuse, as soon as I finished speaking, he stretched out his arms and pulled me into his arms, letting me nestle in his arms like a very beloved cat.

"Thank you, I want to talk to you."

I continued to harass Xie Yan endlessly, and reached out to touch his eyelids, but touched his long and dense eyelashes, which felt like feathers. I was reluctant to let go, so I kept sweeping his eyelashes with my fingertips, as if caressing Play with the peacock's feathers.

I started talking in a rambling manner, talking about everything.Xie Yan never talked much, and he kept stroking my strands of hair with his fingers, curling them up and putting them down, and said "um" from time to time to show that he was listening.

I've long been used to him being so reticent, and I didn't force him to respond to me, I just told my heart full of thoughts.

"Thank you, my father will send me to Jiangnan tomorrow. I don't know when I will be back when I go to Jiangnan."

"I should miss you very much."

I sniffed my nose, the tip of my nose was very sore, and my tears kept falling. I only said that I would miss him very much, but I didn't dare to ask him if he would miss me.

"Well," Xie Yan said in a calm tone, without any regrets, as if he had expected it long ago, and he didn't show any surprise. He seemed to ask me unintentionally, "Why do you want to go to Jiangnan all of a sudden?"

"I don't know, my dad asked me to go. He's been so busy recently that he doesn't have time to talk to me."

"Xie Yan, do you know? I am so worried about my father, afraid that he will be in danger. But he won't tell me, and I dare not ask him, for fear that he will be unhappy."

"He hasn't had dinner with me for a long time, and today he is with me because it's my birthday."

"I just found out today that my father has aged a lot. He is only 40 years old. Why did he suddenly age so fast? I feel very uncomfortable watching it."

"He's all alone now, and I think he's so lonely."

"Thank you, let me tell you that my father has a very strange friend, my Uncle Lin. The two of them get along very strangely. Uncle Lin always pretends to have nothing to do with my father during the day, but He often comes late at night to drink and chat with my father, but now he doesn't come either."

"Is it Lord Lin Ruilin?"

Xie Yan listened to me rambling on for a long time, but was only interested in this sentence, and asked me out loud.

I turned my head, and saw that his phoenix eyes were heavy, and his expression was more focused and serious than when he knew that I was leaving.

I was a little sad, but I didn't think about it deeply, I just nodded and said, "Yeah, he and my dad were best friends when I was young, but I don't know why he pretended not to know me look."

"En." Xie Yan stopped the hand that was stroking my long hair, looked thoughtful, raised his eyes to look at me lightly, and said nothing.

"Sometimes I feel that my father loves me very much, but I also feel that he loves me because of my mother's entrustment. If it wasn't for my mother, he should hate me, after all, I killed his favorite woman. "

"But I didn't mean to."

"It may be because I killed my mother when I was born, so God gave me a deformed and weird body. Those people call me a monster."

Speaking of this, I opened the box of nightmares like a timid teenager, and the sound of "monsters" resounded in my ears, and the nightmares haunted me when I was young, and my whole body began to tremble, biting my lips tightly, Fingers fingering the quilt under the bed, even the tears began to be uncontrollable.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

I kept calling Xie Yan's name, as if I was trying to grasp the last straw, I eagerly lay on Xie Yan's body, put my head against his chest, and wrapped my hands and feet around him insecurely , and asked him timidly, "Xie Yan, do you think I'm a monster too?"

Xie Yan sensed my abnormal emotions almost immediately, instead of pushing me away, he stretched out his arms and wrapped me in his arms, the cold body temperature wrapped me.

His body temperature is always low. I often feel that he is as cold-blooded and ruthless as a snake. Not only is he cold-tempered, but his body temperature is so creepy.

But at the moment I am in his arms, pressing my face against his chest, listening to his steady beating heartbeat, my heart seems to be infected, and slowly calm down, no longer anxious.

I am very afraid that Xie Yan will think that I am a monster like others, and I can tolerate others saying that I am a monster, because I don't care, they are just ants in my eyes.

But Xie Yan is not.

The appearance of the words of thanks is more like a light shining into my heart that has been obscured for many years.My gloomy emotions, my low self-esteem as a monster, I am afraid of being seen by him.

I hope that in his eyes, I will always be sunny like a spring peach on a tree in the first month of the lunar year.

I can accept the contempt of those ants, but I can't accept Xie Yan's disgusting look at me.

This is probably the greed, hatred and ignorance brought about by loving someone.

I think I am bright and bright in Xie Yan's heart, and the shadows brought about by my birth should not have been exposed to the sun.But I knew in my heart that a broken window could not block the violent wind in winter, nor could it hide an ugly truth.

I hope that I am the best in Xie Yan's eyes, but I also know that I am not the best. This kind of violent conflict often tortures me to the point of becoming rickety, like a skeleton that has been sucked out of vitality.

Xie Yan's hand lightly landed on my head, interrupting my thoughts. He gently stroked my side face, perhaps feeling the trembling all over my body. He began to kiss the little mole under my eyes repeatedly. Ears, my lips, trying to soothe my frantic emotions.

He held my face in both hands, and looked at me intently, as if he was looking at some precious and beloved object.

I am clearly not, I know it, but I am very greedy for the tenderness at this moment.

I cling my body to him, like a soft branch on a big tree, the tears in my eyes hit his face, slide down the bridge of his high nose, and fall straight into his mouth, He tasted the bitterness in my eyes.

He sighed inaudibly, and a trace of helplessness and distress flashed across his gray pupils. I thought I was wrong, but before I could get to the bottom of it, he kissed me again.

While holding my face and kissing me, he wiped my tears and asked me softly, "Why do you think you are a monster?"

When he asked me, his expression was a gentleness that I had never seen before. His gray pupils were originally like a lifeless and silent sea, but it was because of me that I caused waves.

I hadn't been so wronged before, but when Xie Yan asked, I burst into tears like my father found out I was bullied by others when I was a child.

I lost my mother when I was young, and my father was busy with his work, so he couldn't get away from time to time to accompany me, so I could only play by myself and watch others play enviously.

They don't play with me, they say I'm a girl, I can only stay quietly and watch them laugh and play until my dad comes to pick me up.

I was often bullied and wronged, and I even developed the habit of being brave. No matter how hard I was bullied, I had to hold back my tears and not let them fall. I bit my lower lip tightly and told myself not to cry. Will be laughed at by those bad guys, crying is an act of showing weakness.

I am not weak.

But every time my father came, I couldn't hold back anymore. In front of my father, I was always as fragile as a bewildered child.

Now that I meet Xie Yan, I don't have to cry, but I can't help it, I can't help but feel wronged, and want him to kiss me, hug me, and comfort me.

I could have torn the past into pieces in the wind and became a strong man, but as soon as Xie Yan appeared, I couldn't help but want to let him know all about me.

The fragile me, the strong me, the weird me, I want him to know, and I want him to accept.

So when he asked me like this, I felt like a traveler who had been alone for too long, fainting from exhaustion and hunger in the desert, and Xie Yan was a rain that came quietly, he let me take off my guard, And it's like telling me, "I can be trusted."

His arms hugged me tightly, sat up his body, let me sit in his arms, licked the tears on my face with the wet tongue, and patted my back gently.

He seemed to have never seen me so out of control, he just said to me, "You can tell me."

The moonlight shone on his face, spreading a layer of soft light on his handsome face, his eyes were burning hot, and the tears I just shed dripped on his eyelashes, making his eyelashes a little moist , His gray pupils were also stained with a bit of temperature.

He looked back at me for a long time, as if I was the only one in his world, encouraging me to take the first step.

I didn't dare to look at his beautiful eyes, not wanting to hide my ugliness, so I gently pressed my face on his shoulder, my voice was trembling, and even my fingertips were trembling.

"Xie Yan, do you know? I think I'm a bastard. My mother passed away because she wanted to give birth to me. I always feel that I killed her."

"I grew up thinking so, and so did the bad guys. When I was young, the boys my age bullied me, they said I was a girl, I should wear a skirt, be their bride, and not publish a book If you study in a private school, you should embroider at home. I explained it to them seriously, but they never listened."

When I said this, my whole body was shaking, Xie Yan could only kiss my ear constantly, trying to calm me down.

"Before I met Yuan Ye, I had no friends, and no one was willing to help me. They insisted that I was a girl, and I said I was not. They, they..."

"How about them?" Xie Yan's brows showed a fierce look, and there was a murderous intent in his tone.

"They pulled my pants," I bit my lower lip until the smell of blood spread in my mouth, and I felt a deep hatred and unwillingness in my heart, "I don't want to, they just grabbed me, they After watching it, I started telling everyone that I was a half-woman monster."