The princess is reborn

I can't help but think of what happened in the past. I still remember that I waited at the gate of the Prince's Mansion with a cart of thank you gifts from noon until night fell, and finally I just waited in despair.The setting sun that day was also as warm as today, making my cheeks slightly hot.Time flies, like water flowing through the fingers, sweeping away many things, those young impulsive resentments have turned into tolerance and tolerance as they grow older.

I stood quietly at the door of Xie Yan, watching until the scorching sun in the sky turned into a rich sunset, and then fell heavily into the distant mountains. The cool wind, carrying the smell of cooking smoke, made people feel empty.I know that Xie Yan's current pain is all caused by me on him, and the words of comfort should not be said by me, but I really want to be by his side quietly and spend it with him.

I didn't give up treating Xie Yan's leg, I just suddenly understood what was in Xie Yan's heart, how much courage he must have put in before he was willing to treat his own leg, and how he watched his painstakingly established determination be completely destroyed. Crushing, I can't imagine, just touching the hopeless emotion in his heart is enough to make me feel suffocated.

I just want to be with him.

It is already the silent night, the clouds in the sky are gray-blue, and the light color gives people a sense of loneliness. Three or two gray chaffinches soar up into the sky, making chirping calls from time to time, lightly The wind pushed the thin clouds, and the cool wind rolled the hem of my robe, bringing a burst of chill, I rubbed my arms heavily, and then gently knocked on Xie Yan's door, "Thank you Hey, it's time for you to have dinner."

No one answered.

I put my ears on the door, but didn't hear anything, and said softly, "If you ignore me, then I'll come in by myself."

I gently pushed the door open, and saw Xie Yan's wheelchair parked by the window.

The light-colored window screen swayed to both sides of the window with the night wind. Xie Yan's figure was locked in a square-inch wheelchair. He didn't look back at me, as if he was completely in a state of concentration. I could only see the back of his stubborn head, broad and wide. With shoulders and a straight and straight figure, for some reason, I can see a bit of loneliness and fragility from this back.

"Thank you."

I yelled again, closed the door, tiptoed to his side, looked around the window, only to be disappointed to find that Xie Yan had been looking at the window for several hours and there was no extraordinary scenery.

There are no dazzling clouds, nor misty cranes. The winding mountains are shrouded in hazy clouds and mists. There are only a few scrawled stars in the dark night sky, and the moon is hiding in the clouds.

The house was not lit, so I could only blink my eyes desperately to make out the outline of Xie Yan. The deep eyebrows, the high nose bridge, the sharp and cold jaw, the outline of Xie Yan was due to his Fanbang blood. It will be much deeper than that of Jiang Guo people, especially the eye sockets and pupils. The deep eye sockets and shallow pupils will give people a sense of coldness and alienation.

But when these indifferent phoenix eyes are happy, the end of the eyes will be slightly raised, and the bright pupils are scattered with starlight.

But now I can only see that the bright stars are covered by the gray shadows, and the gloomy clouds surround him. Xie Yan seems to have lost the ability to be happy when the military doctor announced the diagnosis.

I want to tell him that life is a long road, and we should not give up hope.Even if the military doctor can't heal his leg, there will definitely be a better doctor in the future, but we haven't met yet.If he really can't be cured in this life, I can also be his crutch for Xie Yan.

But I can’t say, as the perpetrator of all evils, if I say such words at this time, hearing Xie Yan’s ears, it’s tantamount to adding insult to injury, so I can only say awkwardly, “Xie Yan, it’s time for dinner. "

Xie Yan didn't answer me, he seemed to completely treat me as air, his eyes didn't look at me, but always fell into the bleak scenery outside the window.

I had no choice but to tug at his wide sleeves and said seriously, "Xie Yan, can you talk to me?"

"I am worried about you."

"I know that I am not qualified to express any opinion on the harm you have suffered, and I also know that I caused everything."

"I'm a sinner. I did something wrong that brought you to where you are today. If you hate me and hate me, you can beat me and scold me, but don't lock yourself up like this. I will be very worried."

But Xie Yan still ignored me, his beautiful and special eyes seemed to be embedded in a quiet and exquisite doll, he didn’t move, which made my heart sink continuously, and after bottoming out, I did it again. Something absurd and uncontrollable happened.Xie Yan's hand was firmly grasped by me, and I greeted my face without thinking.

My eye circles were red and I couldn't care about anything.My self-esteem gave way in the face of infinite love and heavy self-blame, and I even closed my eyes tightly, just to welcome the slap that was about to fall on my face.

But everything didn't come as expected, I blinked, chasing Xie Yan's cold eyes in the dark.

The dense clouds were blown away by the cool wind, leaving only the solitary moon hanging high in the dark night sky. The cold moonlight poured in from the window sill, falling like frost on Xie Yanruyu's face.

He held my hand firmly, preventing me from doing anything that would hurt me, and asked me angrily, "What are you going to do?"

I bit my lower lip tightly, and was too ashamed to meet his stern eyes. It seemed that my ugliness and stupidity had nowhere to hide under the cold moonlight. Said, "I did something wrong. If you are sad, don't punish yourself. You can hit me or scold me. I won't fight back."

"Compared with these, I am more afraid of your sadness."

"Just thinking about how desperate you are, I fell into deep despair. I wish I could bear all these sufferings for you. If I could exchange my legs for yours, I would be willing too."

"Thank you, don't torture yourself, I feel sorry for you."

Xie Yan held one hand in my palm, so I could only rub my red eye sockets with the other hand. I talked a lot of nonsense, but I didn't dare to look at Xie Yan. I was afraid to see his loathing and hatred expression. , I was also afraid of seeing his sad and painful expression, I seemed to have fallen into an endless nightmare.

"Feng Jiuyue." Xie Yan slowly let go of my hand, his fingers caressed the place where my wrist had touched, and then turned his haggard and gloomy eyes, and looked at me fixedly , the expression is as serious as his bridal chamber, making me believe that he is so serious. When the thin lips opened and closed, my tears rolled down, he solemnly said to me.

"I'm sorry for you."

"What do you mean, sorry for me?" I opened my mouth slightly, and I could taste the salty taste of tears in an instant. My lips and fingers couldn't help trembling sadly, and my fingers climbed tremblingly on his thin arms, He murmured, "What do you mean? I don't understand, I don't understand."

Xie Yan's eyes returned to the distant mountains again, he seemed to have been drained of all his energy in an instant, fatigue climbed up his eyebrows, and he said to me unhurriedly, "Feng Jiuyue, don't Come find me again."

"Why?" I knew that I was not qualified to ask why, and that why had been tossed in my heart thousands of times, but I still asked aggrievedly, "Why? Why don't you want me? I like you very much , Thank you why? I did something wrong, I know I did something wrong, and I will treat you very well."

Xie Yan used to frown and hug me whenever he heard me cry, but this time he didn't, and even turned his face away, just staring at the blank wall, his straight back revealing extreme coldness.

But I am unwilling.

I know that I did something wrong, and I know that I am not qualified to thank you, but I still hold my luck and lick my face, hoping to stay by his side for one more day, until I heard his rejection these few days, I Only then did I feel that my heart was being torn apart fiercely, and the leaky ventricle was poured in fiercely by the cold wind, and what swelled and clamored were all my daring and greedy feelings.

"Xie Yan, why did you treat me like this? After I knew what I did wrong, I never thought of disturbing your life, because I knew that I was no longer qualified to like you, you know? I never You can't sleep at night, and you only hate yourself why you broke your leg? If it weren't for this stupid thing I did, I would never give you up."

Wiping my tears, I cried loudly, and the words of the accusation were full of blood, "I had already planned to never see you again in this life, why did you come to provoke me and bully me? Why did you give me hope and then ruthlessly smash it to pieces?"

"Why!"

"Is this your revenge on me?"

"Yes." Xie Yan suddenly turned around, with a ferocious expression like a defeated wolf, his eyes were scarlet, and the veins on his neck bulged, and he said loudly to me for the first time, "That's right, that's what I thought, so you Can you get out now?"

It was as if my heart was stabbed by thousands of arrows at the same time, my breath was drawn out at that moment, my eyes were wide open, the breath in my throat was suddenly restrained by an invisible big hand, and my lungs let out a dull and lengthy cough , I fell straight to the ground, the buzzing roar in my ears almost shattered my eardrums, and my body curled up and straightened between coughing and coughing, like a fish salvaged from the sea.

My eyes were clouded with mist, and I unconsciously cupped my throat with my hands, as if squeezing out some fine air, but I couldn't do it, I could only watch the thick white mist form in my pupils, grasping at everything. Can't live.

But suddenly there was a bang, and I heard something heavy fall to the ground, and then someone lifted me up vigorously and hugged me tightly, with slightly cool lips trembling on my lips, I tried hard to think I want to catch those breaths, but I can't do it, my throat seems to be clogged by sad and painful emotions, and I can only feel the energy draining from my body.

I may be hallucinating, but at this moment I heard woo-woo crying, Xie Yan won't cry for me, he hates me, hates me, and brought me back just to play with my feelings, I was only looking forward to Being able to stay by his side, one more day is a day, but now I find it is just a deliberate revenge. I used to think affectionately that Xie Yan liked me. He was afraid that I would be hurt, and he was also worried that I would lose him. My legs, if I encounter this danger again, I'm afraid they won't be able to protect me.

But it turns out that's not the case.

so sad.

"Xiao Qiu, Xiao Qiu, Xiao Qiu."

"Don't scare me."

"Don't scare me."

"I was wrong."

"I shouldn't have bullied you."

"I love you very much."

My ears were buzzing, but in the end I couldn’t hear anything. I could only vaguely see Xie Yan’s thin lips, the blood faded, and he kept saying something. I frowned, and wanted to stand up to him I listened to what he said, but Xie Yan pressed my chest, and his two palms overlapped to squeeze the air in my body continuously. Moist water drops fell on my face and slid into my mouth. , is bitter.

"Cough cough cough."

My airway was finally opened, followed by the cool air. I breathed desperately, coughed and fell back exhausted, only to suddenly realize that I had been in Xie Yan's arms the whole time. The long arms tightly imprisoned me in my arms, and next to my ears was the sound of his rapid heartbeat, thump thump thump, every beat seemed to be beating in my heart.

Xie Yan's fingers were already long and slender, but now they were trembling violently. The veins on the back of his hands were coiled like pale tree roots. His arms strangled me so painfully that I could only raise my hands to pat his back. hand, but was caught off guard by a hand of water. Looking back, he saw wet drops of water hanging from his tightly closed eyelashes, and the water marks on his face meandered from his eyes to his stubborn jaw, and his lips were slightly lowered. Bend, is a sad and regretful arc.

I didn't know what to say for a moment, but I remembered those rumors about Xie Yan's madness. They all said that the day the young master of the Feng family died, Xie Yan ran around Chang'an Avenue with him in his arms, crying blood from the corners of his eyes. I didn't believe it at first, but now it's here At this moment, I suddenly wanted to believe it.

I gently caressed that cold white face that was almost transparent, and said quietly, "Xie Yan, I don't want to break up, and I won't leave you either."

"it is good."

Only later did I realize that I really scared Xie Yan so much that night that the military doctor was arrested to give me my pulse. Xie Yan seemed to have completely forgotten that his legs and feet were not getting better, and forced him to The military doctor must come up with some Shiquan Dabu pills, and quickly save the heart.

The military doctor was very miserable, and I was also very miserable. I was forced to drink a lot of bitter medicine, and my health did not improve much.

Xie Yan's attitude is still unpredictable, sometimes he will deliberately keep a distance from me, and basically never had those intimate behaviors in the past, but he is very concerned about my taking medicine, as long as it is time for me to take medicine , he will definitely show up on time, forcing me to drink that thick black and bitter soup until there is not a single drop left.

I tried to get closer to him, but with little success. I seemed to be a scourge in his eyes. He was afraid of offending me, and even more afraid that I would get sick. get along with each other.

Sometimes I also think, obviously we two are married, we can be regarded as a real couple, but I have never seen a couple like us, you chase me and flee, you advance and I retreat, maybe this is me and Xie Yanzhi It's a weird feeling/interest, I told myself so.

After a month of fierce fighting, we finally left Wengcheng, where there was no grass, and went to Fengcheng, where the land is rich. The people here live and work in peace and contentment, and the agricultural, commercial and trade are well developed. The scenery is beautiful, and the local residents are enlightened. Xie Yan's army did not repel us, but opened the door to greet us very quickly.

The house we live in this time is much bigger than the attic in Wengcheng. Xie Yan seems to be to prevent rebellion from happening again. Finally, knowing that we will stay in Fengcheng for a long time, I feel relieved.

Since the incident of betraying the party happened last time, not only did Xie Yan learn a lesson, but I also put my promise on the agenda. During the march, I followed the military doctor to learn massage and nursing, and I also learned something about legs and feet. pathology.

And because of Xie Yan's indifferent attitude towards me, I seldom go to him to make trouble. Instead, I will do more exercises every day, such as walking around the marching range a few times, lifting heavy objects and so on.

Originally, I would be out of breath after walking more than two laps, and I couldn't lift two buckets of water, but I worked hard every day, and my body felt much better, but this may also be due to the military doctor's decoction, and I don't know.

But now I am really happy to be able to stay in one place. The range I could walk around was too small before, but now that the house is so big, I can exercise better by walking a few more times.

In Fengcheng, the military doctor does not need to be dispatched to the battlefield for the time being, so he has more time to teach me medical skills, so I go to the military doctor's side every morning when I come together, and I don't go to Xie Yan until it's time for dinner .

This medical skill can be greatly improved, but I feel that my skill is still not good enough. I have to find a master to teach me a few life-saving kung fu, but I have never met a suitable candidate until I saw the transfer Scarface came to Fengcheng again.

I haven't seen him in January, his face is tanned a lot, he is wearing a silver-gray armor, he is very tall and strong, his fist the size of a sandbag can kill two of me with one blow.

"Young master, long time no see." He took two quick steps and walked up to me, with a rare look of shame on his fierce face, "I'm really sorry about the betrayal of the party last time, His Royal Highness asked me to look for it a long time ago." You, I went to your attic and turned around and failed to find it, so I surprised you."

"Everywhere was so chaotic back then, I can't blame you." I waved my hand freely and smiled at him again.

But as soon as I finished laughing, the dark face of General Scarface turned red like charcoal. He scratched his head and said to me in panic, "Little son, don't smile at me like that. His Royal Highness has seen it, do I want to live?"

I don't know what he meant. Maybe it's because my smile is too ugly and I'll be ashamed of Xie Yan. I thought about it and lowered my eyes again. When Scarface saw me like this, he screamed. up.

"Young master, tell me why you have been wronged, and I will vent your anger on you. If you have any troubles and want me to help, just say, don't do this, it makes me feel itchy."

"No, I have not been wronged."

I quickly denied that I didn't need any help at first, but when I saw Scarface's sandbag-sized fist, I suddenly felt admiration. If Scarface could teach me the secrets of fighting or exercising, I would I will definitely be able to protect the words of thanks in the future.

I thought this way, summoned up a lot of courage, and begged, "Can you teach me martial arts? Or let me become as strong as you, and it doesn't have to be so strong, it just needs to be good at fighting. Every time I fight The kind that can win.”

Scarface seemed to have heard some funny joke, laughing so hard that he held his stomach in his hands, and tears came out of the corners of his eyes.

I instantly felt that he was looking down on me, and turned around in embarrassment to leave, but Scarface immediately stopped me.

He looked me up, down, left, and right, and then he couldn't help but said to me, "Young master, it is impossible for you to train your body to be like mine, and kung fu is not something that can be achieved overnight. Persevere every day, I can try to teach you some self-defense tactics first, don’t know if this is okay?”

"Okay, okay, then I will call you Master from now on."

"Master, Master, Master."

The master nodded and was very satisfied with this title, and told me, "It happens that I don't need to be transferred outside during this time. I am mainly responsible for the safety of this house. I have a lot of time, and I have a lot of time for you to train."

So we agreed to train on the school field in the east on the next morning, which happened to be next to Xie Yan's study. I thought that I could go to Master after delivering milk tea to Xie Yan, which would also be a convenient way.

Because I was worried that Master would be anxiously waiting in the school grounds, I didn't intend to lick my face as usual and wait for Xie Yan to drink slowly before leaving. Instead, I knocked on the door and went in. I saw Xie Yan wearing a plain white brocade, so I could relax Sitting quietly at the dining table, the chopsticks have not moved yet, the rice porridge on the dining table has been left for a while, and the steaming mist has dissipated completely, as if waiting for someone.

I brought the milk tea to the table, didn't notice the extra bowls and chopsticks, but looked anxiously downstairs, and sure enough, I saw that Master had already arrived, squinting and standing under the sun, tanned like a pink cat big bear.

"looking at what?"

Xie Yan's indifferent voice came, and his cold and slender fingers circled the milk tea cup, but his sharp gaze followed my focus and looked out the window.

"No, it's nothing." I turned slightly sideways to block Master's figure with my body, and met Xie Yan's scrutinizing gaze, "I'm going first."

It is a bad thing to make Master wait on the first day of class.

I regretted giving Xie Yan milk tea. Fortunately, although the master looked fierce on the outside, he was very gentle on the inside. He only smiled and said something big, so I was relieved.

The master said that I was too weak. On the first day, I was only asked to run ten laps around the school field. She slept all the way until dawn, completely forgetting to find Xie Yan for dinner.

But Xie Yan probably wouldn't care. Every time I went to look for him, he always acted very cold. When I thought of this, I felt a little depressed. After a few moments, I got up and went to the kitchen to make milk tea. , but this time I was worried that I would arrive later than Master, so I asked my servants to send the thank you words.

When I arrived at the school grounds, I found that I was the only person in the whole huge school grounds, and I was a little relieved. While waiting for Master, I ran around the school grounds slowly a few times. When Master came, he was very happy to see me like this. Thumb praised me, "Young master, I didn't expect you to be so self-conscious, I admire you."

"Master is absurd. I have nothing to do with my left and right sides. I can relax more after warming up."

"Well, that's right." The master agreed very much, and said seriously, "Today I will teach you a few self-defense tactics. The tricks used here are all ingenious. Once you are attacked by gangsters, the most important thing is not to panic, to observe the enemy's movements Weakness, and then a fatal move."

I nodded with a vague understanding.

"Next, Master will give you a demonstration."

Master walked around behind me, wrapped his thick arms around my shoulders and neck, pretended to hold me hostage, and said patiently, "If the enemy clamps your shoulders from behind, you can't panic, just use your elbows hit him in the stomach so that he can get out of trouble."

"Come and try."

I was about to apply force when suddenly a soldier rushed over, and Master immediately let me go.

"Young master, Madam, His Royal Highness is looking for you."

Shouldn't Xie Yan be busy at this time?Why do you suddenly want to see me?

My mind was full of doubts, but I suddenly felt two cold eyes fall on my shoulders and necks. When I looked up, I met the eyes of the people in the attic.

Xie Yan's cold jaw was tense, his thin lips were pursed into a straight line, his gray pupils were heavy, as if surging with anger, the milk tea cup in his hand was broken into pieces, and his hand was covered with blood, but he seemed to be There was no pain at all, just staring at me fiercely with that kind of cannibalistic eyes.

Xie Yan is very angry now, and I am suddenly a little scared.