No matter how dangerous the Linxi road is

very sober.Then can you think what happened to him? "Speaking of this, Xun Zhiyuan smiled wryly, and suddenly made a fool of himself.

"Did he... hug you and cry?" Yan Yilong admired Lin Xuan's deep affection for Xun Zhiyuan from the bottom of his heart.

Xun Zhiyuan took a deep breath and made a lot of determination before continuing: "No. He knelt down beside me, grabbed my hand and put it on his chest, then cried and said that he was willing to live with me forever. die, and say please don't leave him alone."

"This..." Yan Yiyu felt that maybe he didn't need to say anything more at the moment, and listening to this story with all his attention was the highest respect for this relationship.

"It wasn't until I said 'yes' to him that he stood up, then sat next to me on the edge of the bed, hugged me tightly, and was so strong that he almost rubbed me into his body." Xun Zhiyuan was a little stunned, feeling this This memory seems unreal, "It was then that I really valued him and started to respond to him as much as possible. Before that, because he was a year younger than me, we were not in the same teaching building at all, so usually The number of times we meet is very small, but we often chat on QQ. Although he said that we are very similar and feel that we have met a bosom friend, but in my opinion, he is just a netizen who has chatted a few times." Xun Zhiyuan lost his mind for a moment , paused, and said softly, "I really didn't expect me to be so important to him."

"Then if it's possible, are you willing to give him a chance?" Yan Yilong felt a little distressed when he heard it. It was hard for him to imagine how Lin Xuan could be so deep. The ground will crack and landslide ④, just like Lin Xuan looks carefree, but he is unimaginably persistent to the person who has recognized him from the bottom of his heart.

Xun Zhiyuan looked a little sad, looking at Yan Yilong, he was at a loss, and said: "I have slept with him even if he is rounded, I don't think I can be a scumbag who starts and ends. Although he has no feelings, he has a moral bottom line. I can still keep it. At that time, I told him that no matter what kind of conflicts arise between the two of us in the future, unless there is national hatred, family hatred or national righteousness, the only thing is that he dumped me, and I will never abandon him. And I I also promised that even if he really dumped me, no matter when, as long as he is willing to look back, I will always stand behind him. As long as he still wants me, I will live up to my death. It needs to spare no effort to practice. I didn't intend to deceive him." As if a little timid, he rubbed the corner of his clothes, lowered his head and asked in a low voice, "Brother Long, am I a scumbag?"

Yan Yilong finds this self-abased look hard to understand, what is the kid in front of him thinking about?He said firmly: "I never thought you were scum." Seeing Xun Zhiyuan raised his head to meet his eyes, he gave him a doting smile and told him, "Don't always think of yourself It’s as bad as it is, maybe some bad things happened before, but you have to try to come out of the shadows.”

tbc.

④ "People who are easily indifferent, once they become emotional, the earth will crack and landslide" comes from Mo Yan's book "Our Jing Ke".

⑤ "As long as he still wants me, I will live up to my death." From Priest's work "Soul Soul".

No.: ☆, the secret

"I don't know if I'm thinking too much. From a practical point of view, I really have a concern." Xun Zhiyuan seemed to have thought of something that he was ashamed to say, so he hesitated and decided to say it, "Brother Long , you also know that I have been taking medicine for depression since the first year of high school, and it has been three years now, and I will continue to take it for a long time in the future. Allergic constitution, many daily things are allergens, and the side effects of some anti-allergic drugs can also lead to decreased sexual excitement and lack of orgasm."

"You..." Yan Yilong was at a loss for words for a moment.As he himself said, he is a gentleman. Although he is just at the age of youth, his thinking is relatively conservative, and he rarely talks about such topics directly. He suggested, "You can be more reserved."

Xun Zhiyuan was a little embarrassed at first, but after being deliberately enlightened by him, he became even more shy. He grabbed a large book from the table next to him and put it between them. Natural: "I didn't really do anything with him... I just gave him fuck and fingering, nothing else, just because... I don't lift."

"I haven't thought about this kind of thing myself, but I know that one of the reasons why many couples break up is because of disharmony in this aspect, and various relationship problems will appear over time, such as having an affair or raising a mistress. "Yan Yilong said.

"You're right, 'not lifting' is a particularly hurtful thing for a man. I also felt very embarrassed at the time, and I said that if he was not satisfied and wanted to do something to me, I promised not to resist He, but he said it was unnecessary, and he also said that he would not regret what happened at that time." Xun Zhiyuan recalled the innocence between each other at that time, and it has only been more than a year so far, how did they become so unfamiliar .

"He can give himself to you with such peace of mind, because he trusts you a lot and really cares about you." Yan Yilong took the big show and threw it aside, expressing his opinion.

Xun Zhiyuan smiled wryly, and said: "Brother Long, you know that in many romance novels, there are scenes where girls give boys the first time in the hope that they can keep each other, but I think that the more humble the love, the less important it is." They will be cherished. In fact, if a girl is willing to use her first night as a bargaining chip to keep her, even if a boy is willing to stay, it is just because she does not want to disappoint the other party, and she is only talking about morality, not emotion."

"Huiji will be hurt, you see everything so clearly, it's easy to be unhappy." Yan Yilong rubbed his hair and persuaded, "That's why people often say that it's rare to be confused, and sometimes you are dull. It’s also a blessing.”

Xun Zhiyuan approached Ren Ruo obediently, as if he was feeling some kind of gentle power from Yan Yilong's palm, he couldn't help laughing at himself: "All I can see clearly is stripped of personal feelings. Yes, of course it is clearer to analyze the problem with reason than with enthusiasm. And I am not only dull when it comes to people I am infatuated with, I am simply stupid, and I can’t even recognize my own position when I am so confused.” Speaking of this, he Eye sockets feel moist.Yan Yilong patted him on the shoulder at the right time, and when he was less emotional, he continued, "I miss Zhang Ying. I have liked him for three years in my heart, and I thought he would remember my name in the end. But the truth is, what right do I have to say that I like him, how can a person like me deserve to be looked up to by him."

Yan Yilong recalled the name, and asked: "Zhang Ying... is that your former classmate? I remember you told me before you transferred, you said you liked him very much, and you wrote him a letter .”

"Yes, it is him. Besides being a classmate, he is also the class monitor. That's why I know how ridiculous I am. He is just the class monitor caring for his classmates, doing his duty as the class monitor, and I dare to think that he It’s responding to my sincerity, it’s really flattering myself.” Xun Zhiyuan shook his head again and again, as if he couldn’t face the long-standing self-indulgence, “In the first semester of high school, he and I were in the next class, and we were both representatives of the Chinese class. , the teachers in each subject of these two classes are exactly the same, so I can often meet him in the office. In addition to sending and receiving homework books from the Chinese teacher, when I go to teachers of other subjects to ask questions, I also encounter many times. He, sometimes we asked the same question one after another. The teacher didn’t have time to explain it twice, so we asked each other to explain it to each other. Although I didn’t remember each other’s name at the time, we usually met in the corridor or on the stairs, and every time Everyone smiles and says hello.”

"Don't always talk about yourself being so humble." Yan Yiyu frowned, he wanted to see Xun Zhiyuan like a child who could laugh for a long time for a little fun, instead of always dwelling on certain things in the past I hate myself, "Look at the beginning you were pretty good, you studied together and made progress together. To be honest, I'm quite envious."

Xun Zhiyuan suppressed his sadness as much as he could, and continued: "If life is just as it was when we first met, and if he and I can go on like this, we might really be good friends when we graduate. In the first semester of high school, we will be divided into arts and sciences. He and I agree to choose both. After studying liberal arts and reorganizing classes, I became classmates with him. He is the class monitor. He has very good grades and can be ranked in the top three every time, but he is usually not put on airs at all. I can play a piece. But I started to feel inferior, I dare not get too close to him, because I feel that I am far from good enough. I can see that he is very good to everyone, but I hope that I can be irreplaceable It is not a polite casual acquaintance. So I want to strengthen myself, and when I have enough excellent grades to match his academic strength, I hope to develop a relationship with him at that time."

"You didn't expect those things later." Seeing that Xun Zhiyuan was about to fall into deeper sorrow, Yan Yiyu interrupted his meditation, "Really, it's not your fault, I don't think I should blame you." Saying, Hands held his shoulders.

"I wrote him a letter, saying how much I love him, and I hope to stand side by side with him when I become better. I wrote five pages of manuscripts, but I didn't dare to sign it in the end, and I didn't dare to give it myself. He, but asked a classmate in the next class to pass it on. It was only then that I truly realized that the rule of love is: the more you like, the more timid you are. It makes the most careless people cautious, and makes the most fearless People start to tremble with trepidation. ⑥" Xun Zhiyuan felt that fate made people fool him. When he wrote the letter, he still remembered the vision and yearning for the future, but now it is difficult to rekindle the original ambition.

tbc.

⑥ "The rule of love is: the more you like, the more timid you are. It makes the most carefree people become cautious, and makes the most fearless people start to tremble." Quoting Su Qin's point of view.

No.: ☆, just because of you

"I think he can recognize your handwriting." Yan Yilong pointed out the key.

"I did it on purpose. At first I thought about printing out the plain text, but I felt that if this was the case, he would not be able to guess the real owner through handwriting, and he would have no chance to guess me. I would regret it." I realized that I seemed to say What kind of paradox, Xun Zhiyuan explained, "I wrote to him, because I was afraid that he would know it was me, and I was afraid that he would not know it was me, so I had to let him guess me. Leave him a clue to guess, as for whether he can Guess right, this is not what I should think about." There was always a feeling that the more he talked, the more he couldn't make sense, Xun Zhiyuan waved his hand and muttered, "This is all a mess, forget it, Brother Long, don't talk to me."

But Yan Yiyu understood, he stood up a little excitedly, grabbed Xun Zhiyuan's wrist, and said, "Brother Xun, this is love! Don't you think this is very similar to the shyness of a girl in first love?" He smiled apologetically, "I think I almost understand how you feel about him. In fact, I always thought that you liked him just as a friend, maybe because I am a pure straight man, I can't imagine how you feel about him. This kind of feeling." Then ask, "Did he actually guess it was you?"

Xun Zhiyuan nodded, and continued: "I transferred to another school in the first semester of my sophomore year, but I transferred back again in the second semester of my third year of high school. I went to a new school to transfer to a new school. A series of matters related to the college entrance examination registration and physical examination were based on the location of my student status. I transferred back to the original school for this reason. But in fact, even if my student status is here, I am in another school. , as long as I promise not to be absent at the critical moment, there will be no problem. Files and the like are not every day, and I don’t need to go to the original school every day. Therefore, the real reason for me to transfer back is that I want to be able to study in high school. Look at Zhang Ying more in time. I think if I don’t go back, after the college entrance examination in June, I’m afraid I won’t have any contact with him. At the same time, his status as monitor makes him often assist the teacher in managing the class, so I can have a reason to contact him when I go back."

"You were able to go back to that school for him!" Yan Yiyu couldn't control it for a moment, and swung his fist and hammer on Xun Zhiyuan's back, speaking incoherently, "No, I mean, you are actually willing to go back to that school again!" About Xun Zhiyuan The reason why Zhiyuan transferred to another school in the second semester of high school has always been kept secret. As a close friend for many years, Yan Yilong only knows that he has experienced great pain in this turmoil, and his original school is like a nightmare for him. The sad place, I thought it was a helpless move for him to transfer back in the second semester of the third year of high school, but now I know there is such a reason.

"Am I stupid?" Xun Zhiyuan was a little sluggish, and his voice could not hear sorrow or joy, "After I turned back, I started to feel uncomfortable every day when I stepped into the school gate, and there was almost no day when I was late and left early, and I even asked for leave every three days Not going to school. The history of depression has become the best reason for exemption. All the teachers turned a blind eye to my stubbornness. I am also very negative. Going to college. But I still like him, even though I know that I am not good enough for him, but I often look at his back and can't help but cry."

"I feel bad for what you said." Yan Yilong hugged Xun Zhiyuan, his words were sometimes pale, so he wanted to use this hug to give him some comfort.This action seemed to evoke a long and warm memory in Xun Zhiyuan's heart, he buried his head in Yan Yilong's arms, and said softly: "Brother Long, in fact, he also hugged me like this."

"Zhang Ying?" Yan Yilong was a little surprised, "I think if someone can hug you when you are sad, either he cares about you very much, or he is very warm-hearted."

"I think it's just because he is a conscientious monitor." Xun Zhiyuan walked to the window, and the night wind was still blowing hot, "That time was because of a math class, and the math teacher used her knowledge of depression Prejudice came to scold me, saying that I am an old man who is more sentimental than Lin Daiyu, and that it is not depression at all but hypocrisy. She looks about 50 or [-] years old, and she is probably in menopause, her tone and expression are very sharp and mean, and I was in that school It was also very uncomfortable, so I had a big fight with her. In class, in front of the whole class, I scolded her for making things difficult for the students and having no teacher ethics. She and I refused to give in to each other. He came forward to mediate. He asked the math teacher to explain my illness, and then told me to forgive the math teacher. I couldn’t cry at the time, and he persuaded me that he knew that life was very difficult for me and him. We have our own hardships, so I hope I was able to face it with strength, saying that he was also working hard to overcome those ups and downs, and then he hugged me to encourage me. I mentioned to him the unsigned letter in the first year of high school, and he said that he recognized it was mine at that time Handwriting, and said thank you for liking him."

Yan Yiyu was thoughtful: "If it's according to what you said, considering his status as monitor, it's really easy to justify."

"Brother Long, can you imagine that not only did I have to go back to the original school, but I also took a graduation photo there." As if he had told some big joke, Xun Zhiyuan smiled sadly, "On the day of the physical examination, he told me He said that he planned to take graduation photos in the near future and needed to order class uniforms uniformly. He asked me if I would like to participate. In fact, I have already considered this issue myself. I hate that school from the bottom of my heart. I don’t want more entanglements. Every inch of land and even every ounce of air, so I have always firmly believed that the graduation photos there have nothing to do with me. But you know, Brother Long, the luxury of self-esteem... When you really fall in love with someone, give it to the dog Eat it. ⑦The moment Zhang Ying asked me if I would like to take part in the photoshoot, I felt that all the firmness before that was gone. I think it’s great to have the opportunity to take the same photo with him wearing the same clothes. It was a blessing from heaven. So I replied that I ordered clothes for the photoshoot."

Yan Yilong didn't speak for a while, and after a long time, he made a brief comment: "I