The big orange is the most important [comprehensive British and American]

As Alfred leads Fiona into the manor, the four Batbirds get together for the first time on a non-family dinner - peacefully anyway - to discuss a certain Crucial questions:

Fooled about how to slim down Fiona's cat.

It is not a day's work to drip water through a rock, and it is not a day's cold to freeze three feet. It is not possible to become fat in three days or two days. Naturally, it is impossible to lose weight in this short period of time for no reason. .There are many reasons for cats to lose weight suddenly. When it is still alive and healthy, the last possible reason is that it is too stressful.

So before the meeting started, Dick Jason and Tim set their eyes on Damian, the only one in the family who showed great love for Fiona's orange cat. Although no one spoke, the meaning was already very clear. Obvious:

Is it because you rubbed cats too much and frightened other people's orange cats so much that they lost their fat? !

What can Damian do? Damian is also desperate.Since Fiona's orange cat came to Wayne Manor, he was the happiest person, that's right, but no matter how much he likes cats, it's impossible for him to pretend to go to school during the day and night patrol at night Under the premise of sticking with the cat every day, even scaring it to death, right?

And not that he boasted.He thinks Fiona's orange cat likes him quite a bit now.

So he immediately stared back at his unrelated brothers one by one without guilt:

"What are you looking at! That's how the cat lost weight by itself!"

Dick & Jason & Tim: ...okay.I hope you can convince the little Russian girl who is about to enter the halls of Wayne Manor.

Their impromptu meeting was held in the kitchen, although everyone present except Jason, who occasionally cooks for himself, has been given a "kitchen ban" by Ah Fu.However, Dick's proposal made sense at first glance:

"The most unexpected place is the safest place! So this meeting must be held in the kitchen, and we can go back to the living room before Ah Fu comes back."

Then the four little birds who sneaked out of the kitchen were bumped into by Ah Fu who had just picked up someone from the outside.

"Okay, gentlemen." Alfred shook his head:

"Let me assume, no one wants to use the kitchen to surprise this lady who's going to be with us for a long time, right?"

——That's right, that's right, after all, no one can eat anything other than Little Wing/Big Red/Todd.We don't want to make any news on the first day that Russian Lettuce has just entered Wayne Manor. Our family is a low-key vigilante.

The four little birds stood together and nodded wildly. The scene was very funny, and it reminded me of [Crazy Birds.GIF].

After Alfred, the kind-faced old butler, revealed that he was not the one who made the orange cat lose weight, Fiona realized belatedly that there were still people in Wayne Manor. Four people, and she knew all four of them.

It's just that they met under the premise of wearing a uniform.

So after seeing these four guys standing in a row in front of Ah Fu, not wearing vigilante uniforms or domino masks, Fiona felt a little fresh for a while.

Thinking about it this way, this is the first time she has seen the real appearance of the younger generation of men in such a complete Bat family without masks.The girls of the Bat family have met in private countless times. Every time they met before, Barbara was desperately touching her hair, pouring all the love from her sister on the little head of lettuce. For a time, Fiona wondered if there was a cloud of bad luck on her head, and Barbara wanted to drive away the bad luck that came with her through this way of passing on good luck.

She thought for a while and asked:

"Damian, my cat...?"

Damian immediately replied reflexively, "It's not me."

Back then, Damian was able to blame her cat in the League of Assassins, and he certainly wouldn't lie about such a trivial matter now.Besides, it is not easy to make the orange cat lose weight. If Damian did it, he would have borrowed her orange cat for a long time without returning it. .

Fiona held up her big orange in doubt, and said to herself:

"Could it be that you really lost weight like this?"

If it is true, it will be troublesome. Is it acclimatization or too much pressure?No matter which result it is, it is enough to show that the compatibility between her big orange and Wayne Manor is not very good. If this is the case, she must not stay here temporarily, and she must transport her orange cat back to Russia. Just go and keep it.

Daju's eyes, which were almost completely hidden in the orange hair, narrowed the arc of wisdom, and then——

A full and chubby meat pad hit Fiona's face head-on.

Fiona: Case solved.My orange cat is still in good spirits.

"Miss Petrova, please go this way." Alfred went upstairs with Fiona who had finally let go of her heart, opened a door for her, and asked politely:

"I'll live here for a while, okay?"

Fiona looked at the room and felt that it was too tall for "temporary foreign guests".The surrounding walls are pasted with beige wallpaper with continuous dark lines, and the wooden floor under the feet reveals the restrained dark light that can only be settled after years of careful maintenance. The furniture configuration in the bedroom is also very complete. Her suitcase has been parked by the bed at some point, it is complete and safe, even the pickiest person will not be able to find any faults, so she suddenly felt a little guilty, so she quickly explained road:

"Yes, very good, it's just that I'm not here to live here temporarily, isn't it... a bit too much trouble for you?"

——As soon as she said this, the four little bat birds who were crowded under the stairs and tried to overhear a few words froze for a moment, until Alfred said with a smile, "No trouble, Miss Petrova Just live here" After the answer came, their stiffness didn't ease even a bit.

That's why the gang went into the storage room 5 minutes later, because there was a second emergency meeting, and no one wanted to use the "Taste Ah Fu The waffles made” broke through the invisible defense line set up by the housekeeper at the door of the kitchen at such a tragic price.

The four of them looked at each other under the dim light, and for a moment they had a subtle feeling that they were the villains.In the end, Damian, who was super unconvinced, took the lead to speak, but the youngest Robin seemed to be slightly off the mark.He didn't care about "Fiona stayed in the mistress' room of Wayne Manor without knowing it" at all, he cared more about—

"What does she mean?! Doesn't she have any plans to stay for a long time? Is Wayne Manor so bad?!"

Dick: ...Little D, calm down.It can be seen from the key point of this subtle deviation, that you really grew up together in the Assassin's League.Rapunzel's mind-blowing ability to miss the point has finally managed to infect you after all these years.

Seriously, except for Damian, everyone who is older than Fiona must accept the matter of "a young girl who has just grown up suddenly wants to be the mistress of Wayne Manor" Things are really difficult.Although everyone has seen big scenes, they will not easily feel at a loss about what to do, but the incident of "Batman suddenly fell in love and got married" is not an ordinary big scene. If the picture is simplified, it should be the kind of sky collapse, tsunami and hurricane, and comet hitting the earth.

——Don't believe it.Just look at the Watchtower duty schedule that the Justice League gang lost.It is enough to explain the problem that a group of people who have worked together for many years did not have a bet on "Batman can make a successful confession".

But if the little birds in the Bat family can fully accept and digest the news, and then throw them an even more astonishing blockbuster/bomb, "She won't stay for long, but simply stay here for a while", Then their attention will be diverted:

Aren't these two people in love, aren't they both talking about marriage? !Bruce, hasn't he prepared the prenuptial gift agreement and private notarization of prenuptial property? !We heard that Superman has consciously squeezed out the diamonds used as bets with his bare hands, and the rings made of them are all ready!

Bruce has made intensive preparations to this point, and we are all trying to convince ourselves and be mentally prepared, why did she say "just here for a temporary stay"? !It's like thinking that the world will be destroyed tomorrow, so I squandered all my property, only to wake up the next day to find that the world is not destroyed at all and I am still in debt.

Is there something wrong with the relationship between the two? !

You can't blame the boys for thinking so much, so long-term, it's just that Batman's difficulty expressing positive emotions is so symptomatic.When Dick insisted on leaving Gotham for Bludhaven, he complained about it to his friends who knew about his dual identity:

"It's almost like asking me to climb Mount Everest with bare hands and no protective gear! It's still as difficult to climb up from the Mariana Trench!"

To sum up, to convince them that Fiona is really just here to live temporarily, it is better to convince them that the two are ready to live together before marriage. As a result, Bruce's positive greeting disorder has double committed and forced It is more reasonable for Shengsheng to run away in anger and say "temporary residence" to get angry.

However, Fiona, who was still packing her luggage upstairs, didn't feel the brainwaves of the boys in the basement storage room at all. After all, she couldn't do two things with one mind.Surely she would have performed a stupefaction on the spot if she could have heard:

Don't talk nonsense, I am not!not me!we do not have!

However, as long as many things are not spoken out, there is absolutely no way for the other party to feel it.So this wonderful misunderstanding grew so quickly and vigorously that it even led to this meeting.

Following the short-lived "Orange Cat's Sudden Weight Loss Revealed" that was just caught, the second meeting that was held immediately after today was also held in full swing in this dimly lit storage room.

[The following is the meeting record report, recorded as a top-secret S-level file, for those who can check it... Forget it, don’t save it in the computer, just secretly put it in Damian’s textbook.Damian, you have to be careful not to let this thing fall out when you are in class.

Damian: ? ? ?Do you have to be so hard on me, Grayson? ? ?I have never opened those mentally handicapped textbooks!

Tim: Please be quiet, demon bastard.Your voice made the lights shake, and I can't write well.

Damian: Tt. 】

Conference name: A serious discussion on how to raise a healthy lettuce in the farm and how to let the lettuce take root here for a long time.

[Damian: Why use a code name?I feel so stupid. 】

Purpose of the meeting: As in the title.If you can afford it, figure out what's going on between the black lacquer and the lettuce and fix it.

[Tim: Seriously Dick.I think these code names you use really perfectly embody your spirit that if you don't die, you won't die.Do you remember the bridesmaid dresses you lost to Zatanna and the flower girl dresses that implicated the devil bastard?

Damian: Oh.Shut up you Drake.

Tim: Don't worry, I have tape backups.

Jason: As the only person in my family whose brain waves are still on the normal circuit, I am a bit desperate.I don't want to have this meeting anymore.Let me go, I'm going back to feed the cat.

Dick & Tim & Damian said in unison: Don't even think about it! 】

Preliminary drafting of a three-step plan and specific implementation methods: first, the big blue bird who seems to get along best and has some contact experience before will be dispatched to shorten the distance between the two and make them let go of their guard, and then quickly and Quickly find out the key to emotional problems.

[Jason: ...Among all the people, the code name you gave yourself is the only one who is so normal, is it alright?Dickie bird?

Damian: I think you're thinking a little too much Grayson.Put your nowhere charm - and your ass - aside, you're Brudhaven's best cop for years, but you're not talking to someone who will The little girl who is obsessed with your face and figure, she even saw you standing on the wall of other people's schools, looking like a pervert.

Tim: It's rare for me to second the Devil Boy's opinion.

Damian: Shut up you Drake. 】

Second, if there is a problem in the first step, the red bucket will be responsible for bringing the relationship between the two closer by raising cats and losing weight, and find out what went wrong between the two through side-by-side methods.

[Jason: This code name... Forget it, I'm in a good mood today so I don't care about it with you.Dickie bird.But what if I fail too? 】

Thirdly, by the little dwarf——

[Damian: Grayson, don't stop me, I'm going to take off Drake's head today and put it side by side with the cabbage in this storage room to see who is rounder!

Jason: I didn't mean you, Xiaohong. Obviously, the code name Dicky Bird said was not this. Your way of tampering without permission is really great-I mean great.

Damian: Is there any difference between your two statements? !absolutely not! !

Tim: Ah, isn't it really about the runts?Sorry, maybe I'm wearing some kind of headset that automatically "converts all references to demon cubs to the one that best intuitively senses who it's talking about".

Dick: I beg you all to be normal!This is a life-and-death meeting that is closely related to B's lifelong happiness!No mistakes are allowed!

Damian: ...If that's the case, then I'll bear with it.A dwarf is a dwarf.

Tim silently crossed out the word "little man" and wrote a "D". 】

——Inquire directly with the help of Sanhong.

[Damian: Tt.In the end, it's not up to me to buy the bottom.

Tim: ...what the hell is three reds? !I'm going to hit someone! 】

This battle plan is drawn up, I swear, as a member of the meeting participants and plan maker, I have an absolute obligation to keep the meeting process and all action-related matters confidential, over.

So when Fiona packed her bags and came down the stairs, it was no surprise that she saw Barbara's boyfriend, Dick Grayson, AKA Nightwing.

After much deliberation, she couldn't think of a reason for Dick to come to her specifically to talk about something, but the dignified look on this man's face was not fake. Could it be that something happened to Bruce? !

As soon as this idea took shape in his mind, Fiona dismissed it.She felt it, and found that the pillar of the "beloved" of the white witchcraft was still standing there. It can be seen that there is nothing wrong with Brucedin. Fiona, who couldn't figure it out anyway, asked:

"Is there anything you need to ask me?"

She looked at the overly handsome face of the man in front of her, as well as the handsome demeanor and the black-haired and blue-eyed appearance of the man who was obviously not related by blood, all were more true to Bruce than Damian, the authentic little Wayne. , suddenly had a good understanding, and asked before Dick asked a series of questions, "The weather is really nice today, would you like some dessert? By the way, how are you and B getting along recently?"

"Are you here to ask about the future relationship with Barbara?"

Dick: ...good idea!Before I ask her about the direction of her relationship with B, why not ask this first, it can just bring our relationship closer!Of course, it would be even better if she could forget the scene of me pawing on the balcony of Bentiwa orz.

So that morning, the two of them occupied the small round table on the balcony facing the sun. The Viking White Witch, who became famous just after her debut, took her whole set of tinkling psychic tools and analyzed it in detail for Dick. Take a look at the prospect of their love, and even use the method of dripping water on the table and using the reflection of the mirror to completely and completely restore the scene of Dick and Barbara's acquaintance and love in the past. Out.

"You will be very happy in the future." Fiona came to a conclusion firmly: "There is such a sentence in our concept, which can be used to describe you."

"Until the light of the last star can hardly illuminate this place, the last spark of love between you will end in silence and darkness."

After so long, Fiona still has a Russian accent when she speaks, and I'm afraid it will be difficult to change it in the future.Plus her soft voice was so convincing, and her words so beautiful, that it was so easy for Dick to forget that was really not what he was here for.

At noon, when the family that could not be called a family finally got together to eat at the dining table, Bruce hurried back and kissed Fiona's side face quite naturally before sitting down:

"There is something wrong with the company, sorry for being late."

The four little birds immediately looked at Fiona in unison.However, to their surprise, the young girl, who was supposed to be in love, had no intention of blushing at all, and even nodded to him naturally:

"Thanks for your hard work."

To put it bluntly, this is the tacit understanding between old couples and old wives, to put it bluntly, this is a blatant love crisis!

Dick, who has the most love experience on the table, felt like he was about to cry, and he didn't even consider the first situation at all, and exchanged painful glances with the other three:

The revolution has not yet succeeded, and comrades still need to work hard.

So that afternoon, Jason came with Sanhua in his arms.He thought to himself that, as the only person who maintained a bit of reason from the beginning to the end in the inexplicable meeting before, he must be able not to be distracted by this little Russian girl——

Right?

Fiona reached out and rubbed two handfuls of Sanhua quite naturally, and then judged Sanhua's health status: "It's very healthy, you must be a very caring person, friend."

What a warm and sincere compliment.With all due respect to Jason, he never got something from Bruce that could add up to more words than two hands.

After he came back to his senses, the two had already talked about "how to cook cat food reasonably and scientifically" and talked about "one hundred and one ways to lose weight for orange cats". The topic they are discussing now is "how to choose the right canned cat food". And there is already a trend of "does your Sanhuaxi like canned tuna, I think my big orange doesn't like this but mackerel more".

Jason: ...I'm sorry.I really misunderstood you earlier, Dickie Bird.This girl's ability to change the topic is simply innate, and what's even more frightening is that she didn't change the topic intentionally.I couldn't hold it anymore and asked for a replacement.

So Damian is on the scene.

——In his view, he was here to turn the tide, but in Fiona's view, this was the prelude to a guy with a clean record who was coming to snatch her cat again.

So Fiona immediately blocked her orange cat behind her, stared at Damian for 5 minutes, and then Damian struggled to speak:

"let's talk?"

Tim, who was in charge of remotely guiding Damian through the headset, could feel the inexplicably dignified atmosphere between the two even though several rooms were separated, so he tentatively said:

"D, you can add a title to try."

Damian's face was as desperate as he, a vegetarian, woke up one morning and found that all the green plants in the world had been turned into meat products, but he still squeezed out a name through his teeth Come out: "...Mother."

Fiona immediately showed an expression as if she had been struck by lightning.Really, she is not exaggerating at all, because she has never considered the issue of seniority, it would be better to say "People in the League of Assassins still care about this" makes her even more confused: "Shut up, I beg you."

Damian also felt that this title was inappropriate.But people in the League of Assassins always put pragmatism first, and ordinary people would struggle with such trivial matters as seniority. The two people present have died before, so will they still be troubled by a mere title?

What he struggles with is completely different from what normal people would struggle with. He is just seriously considering what kind of name Fiona, who is not related to him by blood, should be called. However, judging by Fiona's reaction, it seems that she also feels that "mother "This appellation should be reserved for relatives who are related by blood—Fiona: No, no, I don’t think so—so I changed a new appellation:

"Then stepmother?"

However, this title did not bring Fiona any sense of comfort and happiness. Instead, it was quite frightening, as if Batman suddenly painted all his bat suits in the orange color of an orange cat, and the impact was unparalleled. , so she really wanted to throw herself into the Volga on the spot:

"I beg you to stop talking - by the way, who gave you the idea, it's definitely not what you want to call someone like that!"

Damian: ...Sure enough, we should go back and chop off Drake's head.

Tim, who had already felt the murderous aura coming from the air, took off his headphones expressionlessly and began to applaud himself silently. He felt that it would be safer for him to start fleeing inside Wayne Manor from now on.No one would have thought of the majestic Red Robin. Timothy Drake Wayne had already had such a miraculous headline that would definitely double the sales of the "Gotham Daily" that day:

A young girl in the blooming season is happy to be a mother.

Fiona has no idea what the hell these guys are doing.And after seeing Damian brandishing his iconic, gleaming samurai/knife aggressively chasing Tim all the way across the lawn, even Alfred's carefully manicured animal-shaped It was even more confusing when the bushes were all cut down.

Just when she was falling into the question of "Is this place really not in harmony with my aura", Red Robin flew past the window in front of her with a hook gun. With her soul-torture ability—that is, her mind-reading ability fully released—Fiona accidentally saw this huge title in Red Robin's mind.

Fiona: ? ? ?I'm confused, I'm panicked, I'm very confused now, I've fallen into rethinking about life!What are you all doing? ? ! !

So Bruce, who came back from the night patrol that night, received a warm kiss on the side of his face, which seemed to be compared to his greeting at noon today, and there was this question:

"Why did you bring my luggage and the cat, Bruce?"

——This is the first time she called this name when the two of them were alone, but it was as natural as if she had called this name thousands of times in her heart.Obviously so calm, but the feelings inside cannot be faked.

As long as you call, it is like a rose-colored wind blowing over the temples of the two.

In fact, although everyone likes to say "American girl with blond hair and blue eyes", in fact, there are not many pure blue eyes in the United States. Dark, inexplicably passionate and cold eyes are extremely rare.I can't blame the "Gotham Daily" who once praised his good-looking eyes so much, "No one can be tempted under his gaze."

Fiona is no exception.However, they have been together for too long, so that the feeling of passionate love that could have been stimulated by the surge of hormones has faded, leaving only inexplicable familiarity and interdependence-this is more than ignorance , Passionate love can support the things that the two go on for a long time:

"I don't know how to fit you into my life...Fioshka."

Batman knows both Fiona and Themis like the back of his hand, but Fiona only knows one Batman, and almost everything about "Bruce Wayne" is known from gossip headlines and gossip news.The unequal information will inevitably lead to an emotional imbalance in the long run, so he is now showing a rare sincerity in accepting Fiona into his life.

——The bad thing is that it’s rare.

He was never good at it.

Therefore, even Batman with an explosive IQ can only think of the most urgent, clumsy, and most serious method when dealing with this problem:

"I can only think of you moving to Wayne Manor."

"You might find this a little offensive, but I can't think of a better way to do it than that."