enemy god

To Howard,

I think it would be better if I didn't write a letter.

But now that the pen has been written, it seems that there is nothing to do.Once things start, there is no turning back. We follow this rule to start and end battles, and we will not stop until either side is down.

The smudged ink on the paper was like a brief magweave spell, which drove me to write, although it was hard to say whether the letter would even be mailed.

Thinking too much is not a good thing.But when you stop thinking about it so much, I find that things get worse.

I seldom write letters. It is a human habit to leave ink on parchment. Most of us use wind, flowing water, or dandelion seeds to bring blessings or ashes to our hometown.You have seen it, or we have witnessed it together.On a certain summer night during that short journey, thousands of fireflies gathered into a secret and bright galaxy on one of the nights.

"Look, Virgie. Firefly. Firefly-fire-bug" you said excitedly, holding your hands up for me to see, and the accentuated pronounciation was very long.I know you want me to learn that word.I did learn it too, and the jerky but mostly correct pronunciation makes you laugh.You want to touch my head, but you still have a little light in your hand.I look at it, trying to read the message it carries.You misunderstood my staring as longing, and transferred it to my hands boldly. "Here, I'll catch a few more." You said so, and caught two more.But because none of us knew how to weave straw cages, those little guys were temporarily placed in the hands of me as the cage.

Through the cracks between my fingers, I saw green light spots lying peacefully on my fingertips and palms that were not covered by leather armor.Without getting close to my ears, I could hear them anxiously and joyfully calling the inarticulate "Gate", at that moment I fell silent.

The short, abrupt gap that prevented me from catching up with your previous sentence didn't get your attention, and you took it for granted and continued to make fun of me, or rather make fun of me.

Time, place, weather.I should have written these first when writing a letter, but I never thought of it.

Because the cold snap came earlier than usual, the lakeside of Lake Hraka was extremely cold this afternoon.Half of the calm lake surface is faintly frozen, and the drizzle falling into it can't stir up too many ripples.Except for the time when I was summoned to come into the world, I have never been to the battlefield in person.So you wouldn't think that I'm right behind the 3 people who are fighting against you by the shore of Lake Heraca, which is about to explode, and I'm writing incomprehensible letters eloquently.

I'm a little distracted.Probably when the body feels cold but cannot run a few laps to gain heat, the mind will uselessly and spontaneously run back and forth on the road between the past and reality.So much so that the thin ice-covered water surface and the frost on the eyelashes easily remind me of when we trekked through the coldest region, you cut through the ice to catch a big fish, and tried to catch the fish. The look of the alive and kicking guy in his arms.Your culinary skills are really unsatisfactory, compared to my lack of talent, which is nothing more than trying not to burn the fish into charcoal.After eating that big fish, I swore I would never touch fish again in my life.

At that time, I was still your ignorant and weak people, and you were still my hearty and reliable knight.We walked through the jungles of Normanson, the ice fields of Twitan, and the desert, and finally came to the port city on the edge of your father's domain.

"Have fun, Virgie. After crossing this river, we will reach the border of Seine. It is a bustling port city with the most spices and porcelain in the world. When I get there, I will treat you to red box fish, Do you like fish, Virgie? You're sure to!"

But I was so poisoned by the fish you grilled the last few times that I couldn't believe that fish could be a delicious thing.You'll have to swear on the last tattered waistband of your trousers, if you lie to me, your trousers will fall off.

Facts have proved that your luck is not bad, you persisted to the clothing store, and the red box fish that did not come from your hands is indeed not bad.

So I continued to wander with you, but from the beginning to the end, I may be the only one wandering.You have an innate sense of direction and know which of those seemingly identical roads lead to your father's royal city.And I was like a newborn chick, foolishly following the tail of the gray wolf swaying from side to side into the hinterland full of bones (this entire sentence was scribbled out)

It was a bit windy, and the drizzle formed frost on my eyelashes, which melted on them after a while.It's the first snow of the year, and I like to believe it's a pretty good omen.

You don't see me, but I see you.I haven't seen you for three years, and the folds between your brows have deepened, as if you were struck by an axe, and your black eyes are in line with your father's. The world says that the eyes of the Hewiton royal family are burning black flames.

Ambition, ferocity, and hatred.

Howard, that's all I see on your face right now.You must be wondering where the confidence of these soldiers comes from. After all, you have fought from the North Forest to Lake Helaka with such vigor. Your personal achievements and the rumors of the year have been mixed together. Generally speaking, the deer head men in this area should have been terrified. Not to mention setting up defenses and preparing for a big battle.

That's why I'm here.They will not return.I won't lose either.Because "Gate" is with them.

……

……

The snow started to fall heavily.I couldn't be exposed outside for too long. For safety reasons, I was persuaded by the soldiers to go back into the chariot when the first horn sounded.Even though I've grown a lot since leaving you, even taller than you did with your helmet on (even if you've grown taller all these years), I'm still too slender for them—you You know, I am too different from them in appearance, so I want to be closer to you.

To be honest, you almost saw me just now, but the guard's silver armor cut it off before I lowered the curtain.This kind of intentional avoidance always makes me feel that we are playing some weird game, just like the road we walked in the forest. I wanted to leave you more than once on that road, because I remember you said But you hate the secluded the most, and you are never willing to step into the depths of the damp, dark green jungle.But when you cut through the thorns and vines and went deep into the darkness and called me over and over again, I didn't think you were lying to me.So I walked out of the natural protective color, and ran back to you like a lost beast.

The falling curtain completely covered my surroundings, and even the sound of cutting and cutting weapons was far away.Rather than saying that I sit in the rear, it is better to say that the car carrying me is in the rear.Compared to you, a real general, I am just a symbol and belief, like the mother tree of the elves, the flames of the dwarves, as long as I stand upright, I can bring them inexhaustible courage and strength, I know you can't understand This, but you don't have to understand.

You must have noticed this unusual chariot, but you would never know that it was me.The sound of the arrow piercing through the air was rushing towards me, but my guards always cut it off before it hit anything.I think you may have guessed what kind of ancient scrolls or formations are hidden behind the curtains in all directions, such as the ones that can make the blood of our soldiers go berserk, so you became more cautious.You have always held uneasy awe of the remaining scrolls of the orcs, and now I take the place of the scrolls.

I am Gate, the embodiment of the hopeless orcs condensed into the world through prayers, and I am the only god they believe in.Silman was performing a summoning ceremony in the pool of origin thousands of miles away, but I landed directly on the battlefield between the human race and the orc race.You will never forget the scene at that time. Even if you didn't see me, you must have seen the abnormally circling clouds.The overflowing and thin breath that accompanied my birth was first captured by the orcs of the wolf tribe. They stopped retreating, and the one-eyed Myron, who was good at bows and arrows, drew out his hammer and went into battle after emptying his quiver.

The unexpected and unprecedented counterattack caught you off guard, but the soaring combat power of the orcs did not make you flinch. That war was originally a gift you prepared for your upcoming succession, it was a proof of your ability and ambition, and it was also yours. A challenge to your father's immortality.You are high-spirited and want to make a big career, and you are unwilling to give up the fruits of victory that are at your fingertips.

But that was just the beginning. The rare summoning scrolls of the orcs were suddenly activated at the end of the battle. The shadows of the ancient giant beasts ran across the chaotic battlefield. Outrageous without regard to the cost.

Your army was shattered by this far-out-of-reason counterattack, and you yourself were surrounded and embarrassed.For a long time you didn't figure out why the orcs who were supposed to retreat suddenly turned around and fought back.Orcs are not good at schemes, they are straightforward and they don't know how to hide.Their abnormality narrowly won a battle, but the target is not you or your army, but me who was taken away by you.

When I first came into the world, I hadn't had time to develop horns and feathers, and I looked much weaker than ordinary humans, so it's not surprising that you mistook me for your people.You who successfully broke out from the disaster-like battlefield would never have imagined that the weak boy who picked up a horse on the way to defeat would be an enemy god who came to the world with thousands of prayers.At that time, you simply wanted to protect your own people, and you couldn't bear to let that poor little man standing blankly by the side of the road become a dead soul under the horse's hooves.The result is that you broke out of the encirclement alone with only one person's strength, but was made dangerous by the relentless pursuit from behind.

The battle when we first met left you with a lot of shadows, but I didn't know anything at the beginning. I failed to inherit the inheritance normally. I am a newborn in this world, like a small boat without sails or oars Go with the flow.

I think you have also discovered that in the first period of time, I will eat whatever you give me, and I will follow you wherever you take me. I don’t know anything you ask me. Your language is not like my people. That was engraved directly in my soul, so in the first days I hardly spoke, just followed you, watched you, and learned from you.If you need my response, I'll just nod. If you ask me the same question twice, I'll look up at you, extraordinarily cute and innocent.

That was definitely my most harmless period, but my gaze seemed to be a sharp weapon in your eyes, and you would always carefully avoid it as if you were afraid of being scratched by it.And after finding out that avoidance is useless, you try to start reasoning with me.But of course, I couldn't quite understand whatever you said, so I just kept looking at you like that.You looked at me in distress, as if there was nothing you could do about me.

Your expression at that time was much richer, you were unscrupulous and undisguised, almost writing your thoughts on your face.It wasn't until a shower made you realize that I wasn't an underdeveloped teenage girl but a malnourished teenager, and then you sighed less.You led me to find a cave with half joy and half sorrow, and thunder roared outside the cave. We lit a firewood pile in the cave, roasted clothes and small animals hunted halfway, and became warm and full. Tired from slack, I leaned against the stone wall, drowsy by the warm firelight.

I remember you were staring at me all the time at that time, and your eyes became more generous without the scruples of men and women.You thought you had seen my true face, but you didn't think deeply about whether the human youth you thought was just an appearance.So the next day I was lucky to wake up under your casually covered coat instead of facing the empty cave alone.

I don't know what considerations you made, but in the end you decided to take me to the north.

Three trombones sounded outside, and as I expected, we had won the war.I was naturally unscathed, but when I stretched out my hand to open the curtain, an arrow that pierced the defense shot at me at a tricky angle, and the moment it collided with my eyes, it nailed me with a crooked trajectory. By his side, he raised the curtain in front of him by nearly half.But you don't seem to recognize me.You sneered provocatively at me, made an insulting gesture, and then rode your horse towards your army without hesitation. The black robe rolled on the gray and white snow reminded me of the dark clouds over the royal city that never disperse. .

When there is no hope of conquering, you always go straight.Temporary victory or defeat means nothing at all.There are too many tough battles to be fought between us, and at present we are just holding on.

I pulled out that arrow, and your personal coat of arms was printed on the shining arrow, which was a crescent-shaped vine and two crossed double-edged swords.This arrow is not my trophy, but I can keep it as a souvenir.

You didn't look back as the army faded like a tide, but after taking down the arrows, I cautiously lowered the curtain.The wide sleeves easily covered my hands, and belatedly I realized that you might have mistook me for my High Priest Shirman.You have always hated him, and now I am wearing his coat, which probably explains your previous aggressive behavior.

The coat was given to me by Shellman before he came to the battlefield. He said it was my protective color, and it also meant that he was with me.Indeed, the circle of snow-colored down around the neck is warm and soft, so that I, who lack scales and fur, no longer feel cold easily, just like his warm fingertips.

Confidentiality is involved, and this letter will probably not be sent until long after I leave the area.Or maybe not, my wind spells aren't very good yet, and I wouldn't send my best soldiers to infiltrate a dangerous enemy just for a letter full of incomprehensible words.

This letter may not reach your hands at all, your protection is no worse than mine, and it is difficult to tell whether there will be a little dregs left when it reaches your hands.Even if it is in your hands, you may throw it into the stove without even looking at it, or tear it to pieces.

It's only now that I realize that everything I think is bad, but I should hope that you will receive the letter, which is why I write it down.

I know that I have become very contradictory, hope and hope, two extreme feelings can always appear at the same time, the so-called human-like.

Perhaps I should assume that you are in a good mood, and that there is no stove or candle... But these conditions are so harsh that I think I will send the arrow with this letter, provocatively enough, but enough to arouse your attention.

To achieve the goal, use any means, even if embarrassment and pain are sent to each other as bonuses.This is probably one of the many shortcomings I have learned from your cold-blooded king.

I probably shouldn't say that about you, I know your blood is warm, it warmed me when I was divided among your people.But now I am the enemy you pointed at, so it is cold and sharp, like an ice edge hanging from the eaves.

To me, or to us, you are a sinister and cunning human king, a cruel and arrogant dictator.Likewise, it's not good for you or me.I have heard a lot of your evaluation of me, such as beasts, enemies, liars, thieves, betrayers, pillars of shame... This is already a good thing.

Of the above, only theft is the only thing I can't recognize.But maybe you're just saying it, in Obia town, liars and thieves are always listed together... But there is another interesting saying, that it was your heart that I stole.

Maybe so, Howard.At the beginning I had nothing, and naturally I had no heart.But now that I have it, it's pounding in my chest and making me human.

You gave me everything, so naturally, when you don't want to give me but get it, I stole it.

The author has something to say:

There have been some problems in writing recently, and I want to hear your feelings.