enemy god

To Howard,

It is night now, and the place is the pool of origin that you will never reach. This is my cradle, the center of the summoning ceremony, and maybe my grave.When I feel confused, I always come here to have a look, and then make key decisions based on intuition.

The silver guards are scattered far and wide around the temple, ensuring that no one within a hundred meters can get close except me and the high priest.The closer it is to the center, the quieter it is. It's not that there are no frogs and insects, but it is because of these that it makes this place so quiet.A living stillness.

There is no dome above the pool, and you can see the bright moon and the eternal galaxy when you look up. I watched it for a while and decided to write you a letter.It's not because I'm bored that I think of you, but I think the current atmosphere is very suitable for recalling, and most of my past and memories are related to you.You first painted the white paper with color, which is the first and most vivid memory except the cold knowledge poured into my mind.

I always remember the way you reached out to me from the horse.I have discussed this topic with you after getting acquainted.You think I'm an idiot who didn't know how to reach out to cooperate with you and almost missed you.But I think you are the fool who got me on the horse.The appearance of me being unaccompanied and ignorant obviously made you a little dumbfounded. Based on the principle that you are the one who saves people, you have to do the whole thing. You clumsily started to take care of my basic necessities. They are not well taken care of.

I think you thought of me as a traumatized dumb girl at first, and then as a teenager with a brain problem. It took you a long time to confirm that my intelligence is fine, but I am slow to perceive my surroundings and have no common sense. Finally, I came to the conclusion that I crashed my brain and lost my memory.It's just that the memory is lost too thoroughly, you have to teach me to do it all over again.

You taught me to speak, not only the language of Wangcheng, you also taught me the local dialect wherever I went.You also taught me how to practice calligraphy. For the sense of ritual and the so-called respect for teachers, you only taught your name on the first day. I wrote it on the ground with twigs hundreds of times. In the end, you didn’t know what I wrote. .

If there is a long, there must be a short.In literature I showed my ingenuity and proved that I am not a fool.So I naturally encountered setbacks in gymnastics.You, who want to train subordinates capable of both civil and military skills, naturally also taught me how to practice swords, because you are very enthusiastic as a teacher for the first time, and you are teaching me hand in hand.But I'm really not good at it.Even now, I am good at spells and spells.

But you don't believe in evil, even if you gave up swordsmanship later, you still didn't give up teaching me to ride and shoot, boxing, and even hunting.You've spent quite a bit of effort, and you've achieved nothing but exhaustion for both of us.

I've been complaining that you're a failed teacher who doesn't teach well at all.You admitted this openly, but said that I don’t know how to cherish and treat pearls as fish eyes, because no one is as lucky and honored as me to be taught one-on-one by you hand in hand, even if it’s bad downright.

I don't know if that counts as a rebuttal, but you always said things that I couldn't understand at the time.I was learning from you clumsily, and the wrong method made me unable to make any progress, so you naturally thought that I was a harmless lamb, even me.

I often think, what would happen if I got the right tricks and didn't improve my body skills stupidly, but followed my instinct and intuition to make achievements in the skills?You won't protect me anymore, that's for sure.Instead, you'll stay on your toes, and your ingenuity will return.You will analyze the matter to the point, and you will grit your teeth and hate me, just like now.

But in fact no, I am a terrible and lazy god, and your connivance has contributed to my muddled and happy life.Because I'm so useless that I can't help you or even hold back my force value, when danger comes, you always let me run first, and if you can't escape, you block me behind.Like an old hen guarding her chicks.This is not good, so I always grit my teeth and persist in learning the useless self-defense techniques from you.But after understanding the motivation of my long-term persistence, you smiled and said it doesn't matter.

"My sword will protect you," you say, "it doesn't matter if you hide behind me all your life."

I was young, but not stupid. "No one can protect anyone forever.", I tell you so.Tell yourself too.

"Yes." You said firmly, "I can."

To be honest, I was slightly shocked when my mind was blunted, but after returning to my senses, I think you just refused to admit defeat.Just like you don't take me seriously, I don't take you seriously either... Now I certainly know where your arrogance and confidence come from, just as you also know that most of my fearlessness is not all from the newborn calf who is not afraid of tigers ignorance.

Remember the night you walked across the prairie, Howard.We stood under the dome of the sky, you pointed to a point of light and told me that it was the North Star, and that the North Star was the direction to go home, and you would never get lost if you walked towards it.But let me tell you, those are dead eyes, the lost surveillance.

As long as you think about it for a while, you will find that this sentence is mutually confirmed with certain words in ancient books.I also said it very seriously at the time, but you felt that I was making a romantic comparison. The soul of the poet rises with the full moon in the middle of the night. You said that every rising star is a dead soul.

My unique understanding of nature makes you think that I am a born poet, and my force value really makes you feel uneasy and fearful—worry is almost the same, don’t think I didn’t notice, I am wading through the stones When passing by, your expression made me feel that I would be washed away by the soaring river in the next second.So soon, your wariness of me disappeared, and you regarded yourself as a brother, teacher and guardian.You have devoted too much sincerity to me, and Sweden's arrogance is fully displayed in you. You firmly believe that no one is willing to escape or can escape from you.

Your arrogance is not without reason.You are the crown prince, the next king, the sun around which your people revolve, but not mine.I am not your people, Howard.So you miscalculated.

You're an idiot, Howard.It's not that your brain is not working well, on the contrary, your brain is too good to use.You can imagine that a crooked figure like an old man would be the disguise of an orc, but you can't imagine that a boy without a past would be the enemy's god.I don't know what's clouding your judgment in this, but you've been going wrong and taking that as a bedrock and truth, blinded by it.This is why your father and king can lay a net for me just by relying on the letter you sent back one day in advance, but you have eaten and lived with me for the past two months without realizing it.

Yes, you didn't notice it, which is probably the main reason why you were so angry and crazy, and my ignorance and lack of calculation made this doubly ashamed.That's probably why, your first accusation against me will be "cheating".

I don't intend to deceive, but it's meaningless to justify or not, after all, the damage has been done, and your heart is not as strong as your appearance.I know you're going to sneer when you hear that, but admit it, Howard, you're just so easily hurt, you can't take the slightest bit of impurity in your eyes.

really weird.Orcs are single but tolerant, while human beings are complex but cannot tolerate the slightest impurity.

I thought I might have pissed you off, and to save this crumpled letter in your hands, I decided to share something that made you happy.I have always known that my misery is your quickest tonic.

I have been suffering from severe headaches recently, like the kind of pain when a tender bud breaks through the flesh and blood.The two small horns between the forehead changed from the length of the thumb to the length of the palm.I guess it might be my coming-of-age day.Silman has been busy with this matter. He tried to restore the ancient rituals as much as possible. These days, he has been practicing painting textures with paint mixed with animal blood and plant ash, trying to make everything as perfect as possible.

The tense orcs need some celebration to neutralize it, so I have no intention of dissuading... But I have already had a bar mitzvah, Howard.

I don't know if you remember, but the night before we left the forest we met wolves.They fanned us around and pinned us on a cliff.Although I have a dagger in my hand, it is no more useful than a twig.As the weakest looking guy, I was taken care of by the pack.While you are fighting the wolves head-on, you have to be distracted and pull me to prevent me from being snatched by them.As a result, the head wolf saw the opportunity and bit his arm severely.The spurted blood splashed on my face, and a few drops landed in my pupils, causing my eyes to burn.

Bloodiness is a sign of the awakening of orcs, and blood is mostly the medium to achieve this, which is why parents like to let them challenge some difficult prey when they hold the coming-of-age ceremony for their children.But the blood that splashes into my eyes is not the blood of prey and enemies, but the wounded blood that protects me.

I thought it was not a drop of blood, but a drop of hot oil, or sparks from stirring logs.My eyes were burning and burning, and the physiological tears were evaporated and turned into nothingness before they overflowed the eye sockets.

I can't describe the feeling, but the world was really different in my eyes at that moment.I looked at everything in front of me almost without blinking. I followed the eyes of the wolf into its depths, and everything about it was divided and spread out before my eyes without any secrets, such as weaknesses and fatalities.I even saw the reason why it launched the siege - a forest burned by wildfires.

I also saw flames, but not the wild fire that made it all, but the quivering fire of the soul.The moment I saw through its soul, it was infinitely closer to me, shrinking to the size of a grain of sand at my fingertips.

That moment was extremely short, but I did touch it.The alpha wolf let out a whimper, its trembling forelimbs half of its body collapsed, and your blade scratched one of its eyes in this gap, it didn't bar its teeth to fight back, bowed its head and backed away.

Starting with the alpha wolf, all the wolves retreated with their tails between their legs.You stick your sword into the ground to support your body, and keep in awe of them.Without looking back you missed what they really feared.

Later, I dragged you unconscious to the edge of the lake, and through the water of the lake, I saw clearly my still burning eyes.The pair of eyes that represent beastliness and rage are unbelievably calm, like a crimson crescent moon.I couldn't help reaching out to touch it, and the ripples caused the reflection to be broken and distorted.

I remember you said that I have beautiful eyes.But not the red ones, but the amber ones.

It was also by the lake at that time, you pulled me through the flowers, stepped barefoot on the stones in the flowing water to the other side of the lake, and mysteriously said that you would show me the most beautiful things in the world.The destination was a flat lake. I probed there and found that the mirror made of water filled the blue sky and white clouds.

You ask me what this is.I replied, "It's lake water."

You laughed.

"It's you." You said.