Three thousand congratulations

【1】

The proprietress took the key and opened the door of the room, and saw two people sitting on the bed decadently.

"You didn't sleep all night, did you?"

Honglian decadently picked up the pillow and handed it to the proprietress, "Take it away."

"Hey, it's still hot, okay, okay, go slowly, I've wrapped the things you want to buy and put them on the counter~"

The two got out of bed one after the other.

"Oh, by the way, proprietress, I don't sleep well, and I drool on the pillow." Yin Shi said lightly when passing by the proprietress.

"Sorry...me too." Guren said softly.

The two quickly disappeared at the top of the stairs.

"Drool?" The proprietress looked at the pillow in her arms.

"It's so wet!!! You two stop for me!!!"

【2】

"You lied just now, I observed that you don't drool at all when you sleep." Yinshi said lazily.

"Pervert. You lied too."

"I'm the salivating type. Idiot."

"Why do you call me an idiot?"

"Because I'm stupid, I won't forget, I won't forgive and I won't let go."

"Damn it for saying that, then Yinshi... shouldn't you review it?"

"me?"

"Do you trust me, Yinshi?"

"Well, you should trust it."

"Lie, obviously don't trust anyone."

"Is there a lie?"

"Then Yinshi...why don't you let others care about you?"

"No, I'm always willing to accept help, and it's nice to have someone serving me."

"Is that really the case?" She raised her head to look at him, her eyes were so sharp that Yinshi couldn't dodge, "I'm not talking about helping, but caring."

【3】

You are obviously such a gentle person, whether it is a partner who gets along day and night or a passer-by you pass by, you can tolerate their fragility and willfulness, you can be their reliance, and you can face death calmly for them...

But, why don't you allow others to care about you? You have to act indifferent and mean...

"Yinshi can give us a shoulder when we cry and feel helpless, and become our support. Why can't Yinshi fully rely on us..."

"When you are depressed, feel that you have lost confidence, when you encounter difficulties, or when you are in great pain, you can cry out loud, and you can shed tears in front of your partners. Compared with me, Yinshi is healthy and her heart has not changed. Why do you have to pretend to be strong... For important people, it’s okay to act like a baby, shed tears, and hang your head in front of him. Euntoki obviously has friends who can do this.” Having said that, She suddenly choked up.

(If I can also feel frustrated because of little things in life like a normal person, because of difficulties, loss, and sadness because of accidents... If I didn't experience the extreme of all negative emotions so early... I also want to because Sad to cry with such emotion, I want to cry like a child without any scruples... If I have the ability... If my heart can still feel these subtle emotions...)

"If you have complete trust, why do you still have to be brave?" Her lips trembled, suppressing the emotions that were about to burst out of her heart.

【4】

"Then, do you trust anyone?" Yin Shi was silent for a long time and finally spoke.

"To be honest, I don't trust..." she smiled miserably, "I haven't trusted anyone since then. It should be said that I don't need to trust such things, even for Yinshi, Mr. Gui , I don’t need it, and sometimes I even feel that being used, hated, alienated, and finally hurt badly is the ending I deserve. To the point of seeking tragedy. Trust is a special, strong bond between human beings, and I don't need it."

It is enough for me to firmly believe in the darkness and the abyss.

"But Gintoki is different from me. Why is Gintoki desperately trying to disguise himself as an unimportant, indifferent person...so gentle, so reliable, and clearly possessing a dazzling light..."

"The light or something is just an illusion. The me now is just a man who can't make anyone happy." Yinshi laughed at himself, with helplessness in his eyes.

"Is it because I feel that I can't give them happiness, so I never respond and have to dodge skillfully? Is it because Yinshi feels that he is a guilty person?"

(I hate those so-called behaviors that feel that they cannot give each other happiness and violate the fetters of continuous progress between the two. Since they are not gods, why should they speculate on the future and happiness of others?)

"You've seen it all..." Yinshi looked at her in surprise.

"Ah."

【5】

"Even if you saw it, you wouldn't understand it." He said lightly.

Honglian froze for a moment, looked at him in disbelief, and frowned.

"That's right, I really don't understand. It's rude to say so many offensive things without knowing anything about you. Don't delve into these one-sided words. After all, even in the future, I won't go deeper understand yours."

When she turned around and no longer faced Yinshi, she faintly felt something like anger in her heart, and then began to regret it.Why are you so impulsive to say something like that?Keeping your mouth shut won't let things go to the troubled place like it is now.

I hate saying things that won't have any effect, and doing things that can't be changed.

I can't change anything, and I still care about it like a fool, and fight for it, showing the side of myself that I took pains to cover up.

Ashamed as well as hated.Yes, saying this kind of thing actually shows that I hope that he will change in my heart.I was so careless to hope for something.

I am really getting more and more unreasonable, how embarrassing it would be to be noticed this kind of hope, like being peeped into my heart nakedly.

Now I start to hate myself for doing unnecessary things.

Well, I hate myself more and more.

【6】

Yinshi looked at her turning back, was silent for a moment, and finally walked forward slowly, hugging her gently from behind.

Her body was just as imagined, not only very soft and warm, but also exuding a seductive sweet smell. She didn't dare to use too much force on her arms, for fear of breaking her.

Yin Shi buried his face in her black hair and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry."

The soft body of the woman in his arms trembled slightly, but she still didn't break free from his embrace.

"In other people's eyes, I don't seem to be able to have ordinary family, friendship, love, etc., and I was defined as an unfortunate existence from the beginning. Happiness, no matter how hard I work, I can't get it. "

"Thinking like this, I started to avoid a lot of things."

"What kind of human beings, happiness, forever."

"Actually, I don't understand either."

Surrounded by Yinshi's warm embrace, she felt a long-lost comfort, as if no one had hugged her like this for a long time.

The ice in her heart gradually melted, and she could feel the fragility and loss shown by the other party at this time. She had an urge to cry, but she knew she couldn't do it.In her heart, there is no joy of wishing to be realized. On the contrary, what arises in her heart is a kind of peace and compassion that are far away from the world.

There is also the bitterness that has lingered on the tip of my heart for many years and has not faded away.

This person has been trying to be strong.

It would be great if at that time, it could be seen that that person was trying to be brave.

Thinking of this, I felt relieved.

She turned away.

【6】

She turned to face me, and I loosened my arms in embarrassment, but I didn't move. Even though it was such a time, I was still afraid of being rejected and scolded.

Silently, she stretched out her hand to me, her eyes were as calm as usual, but there was a kind of power that could comfort people's hearts.

She didn't speak, just stroked my face gently.

I looked at her seriously and eagerly.

She looked at me, her eyes were so clear, reflecting my decadent and helpless appearance like a mirror.

But she was looking at me, and I was the only one she had eyes for, which comforted me.

She touched my hand is so warm, so gentle.

Many things I wanted to say were temporarily suppressed, and now I just want to quietly enjoy this hard-won tenderness.

I revealed to her my deepest secrets, even though I was still terrified.

And now, I have the illusion of being forgiven.

She reached out and hugged me, her soft body pressed against mine.

Beautiful is like an illusion.

I stretched out my hand and gently placed it on her back.The woman I am carrying is a real person, not my illusion.

Gradually, I became greedy. I hugged her tightly, pressed against her cheek, smelled her fragrance, and felt the curve and temperature of her body.

Even make a request.

Because if it's this guy, it feels like it can be done.

【7】

"Hey~ What I showed you today is the deepest secret in my heart. Just treat it as an exchange and keep it with you. You must help me keep it well, and you must not use it to hurt me."

The tone is more like a request than a coquettish, I never thought I would do such a thing.

"Well, I promise you."

Hearing what she said, I couldn't help smiling, and hugged her tighter.

From her, I felt the stability and comfort that I had never experienced before. The guilt that I had been hiding in my heart for a long time, and the fear that I had never shown to others were all seen by her.

And she didn't fear me or loathe me, but accepted me so stubbornly and hopelessly so gently.

Don't be afraid of what kind of eyes the other party will look at after knowing the truth, and you can even temporarily have the illusion of being forgiven.

It's not just about empathy and understanding being able to empathize.

For the world that I still exist in today, this kind of feeling can only be understood by those who have also been numb, crazy, disappointed, and dead in their hearts.

And she can understand.

I suddenly had an urge to know everything about her.

The author has something to say:

The next two chapters are about Comrade Huayu's last memories, which should be regarded as an explanation of the past.

After that, Guren will start a new adventure (slightly) with the wig Gintoki Takasugi and others~