Three thousand congratulations

【0】

The only happy years are the lost ones.

The only true Paradise is the Paradise lost.

【1】

Today's moonlight is extraordinarily bright, probably because the weather is too humid and hot to continue hiding in the clouds.

Sitting side by side with him under the cherry blossom tree in the backyard, as usual, the time spent alone with each other is filled with silence, calm but not boring at all.

I quite enjoy this kind of time, I can sit quietly beside him, no one disturbs us, as long as I want to turn my head to see his calm face at any time, he will also give me a gentle smile.

That was indeed the case at that time, just watching a person quietly, and the day ended like this.

【2】

He seems to speak less frequently recently, which I have naturally noticed.But I understand his behavior. Once he talks, he will inevitably talk about the battle situation related to our life and death and everyone's life and death.

Huayu is not just my lover, he is also the commander of an army.

Some time ago, he could barely get out of his busy military affairs. It seemed that every second the battle situation would undergo amazing changes, and every plan needed to be revised over and over again. As the brain of the entire army, he was almost responsible for it all by himself. In the formulation of the plan, what is admirable is that he seems to have a talent of "only making the right decision". Under his command, we have reached a consensus with some other armed forces that oppose the shogunate. In his words, it is "At least get a little narrow space to sit down and take a breath."

When I came to his side, it seemed that they had just finished their embarrassing flight and were carefully looking for an alliance to unite and a foothold to counterattack.

Fortunately, the current situation is gradually turning to the good side, and the situation has stabilized for the time being. Huayu can also take time to sit and rest with me under the moonlight, instead of going back to that dreary room with his assistants over and over again. I looked at the map.

【3】

"How are you doing recently?" He said suddenly.

They are people who get along day and night, but they ask questions that seem to be asked by people who have not seen each other for a long time.But I know what he means.

Three days ago I took my sword for the first time and went into battle and killed people.

I have experienced something completely different from my grandfather and my fencing teacher. I have also fought against very strong opponents, but those guys who are called "enemies" are completely different.

I have never seen them before, I don't know where they were born and where they studied, and I don't know their experiences. Such strange existences have lost their names, and just because they are enemies, they must be killed without leaving behind.

They do the same to me.

I have never experienced such a strong killing intent in others before. This kind of feeling aimed at myself, wanting me to disappear from this world forever, really shocked me at first.

In the beginning, I didn't put all my body and mind into the battle, because no matter how I voluntarily participated in the battle, I still needed a reason for killing.

Can we win by killing this man in front of us?Would killing someone else change anything?

I do not know.

I feel inexplicable about their killing intent, and I can't understand the killing intent of the surrounding companions.

There is a feeling of being isolated from this battlefield.

【4】

"Slightly hurt, but it's okay."

The reason why I was injured was because I underestimated the ferocity of the enemy and the obsession to kill me.

I've heard too many things from my companions saying things like "Kids shouldn't do such things as murder" and "War is never a woman's business". It will be like this" sympathetic look.

But I don't mind.

"What counts as a victory?" I asked a veteran.

"That is, the enemies are all dead." His answer was brilliant.

In fact, war is such a simple matter, the side that is completely killed is the side that loses.

"So you have to work very hard to survive on the battlefield." He told me.

The cost of surviving on the battlefield is to make more enemies lose their lives.

After all, it's just killing.

A swordsman with strong swordsmanship is not necessarily a qualified killer. I don't know who said that.

I'm good at swordsmanship, but I don't seem to be good at killing.

Then you have to find a way to make yourself good at it.

Because I have reasons why I have to.

【5】

"If you feel that you can't keep going, it doesn't matter if you don't do it." Huayu said to me like this.

"It's okay." I shook my head and said.

He didn't speak, just hugged me, probably because he realized that I was trying to be brave.

"I'm sorry." He said softly.

"Don't worry, the day you are looking forward to will definitely come, and we will definitely win."

Because I think as long as Huayu is there, we will definitely win.

"I'm sorry." He just hugged me and said softly.

I put my arms around him and smiled.

I'm so stupid.

If at that time.

It's good that I can perceive something.

【6】

It doesn't seem very difficult to kill someone for one's lover.

What about ten?Perhaps without much effort.

What about a hundred?Are you frowning?

What about a thousand?

【7】

Long after that day, the twin blades in his hand made a piercing buzzing sound as they swung.

It cried uncontrollably.

I suddenly realized that this knife had already been stained with the blood of a thousand people.

It is said that this knife called Honglian can only be considered as a front after it has killed a thousand people. Although it is a sharp weapon, it is difficult to have a comparable weapon in the world after it is used. People who fight against it will have hell-like Feelings of oppression and fear.

Three years later, it can skillfully send enemies to hell one by one in my hands.

As the number of enemies killed increased day by day, my heart gradually became numb.

But I didn't stop.

Because there is still some distance from the victory that Huayu is looking forward to.

His wish must be fulfilled.

So I have to work harder.

【8】

I stand in front of that man.

He was dying.

He is a general of the enemy. It is said that he has worked as a fortune teller, and his prediction of the battle situation is very accurate.

I think it's probably a fake name.

If the calculation was so accurate, how could he not have expected that he would die by my hands.

He looked at me and said weakly, "You will fail."

I did not speak.

"But you will survive."

He still wants to say something.

I plunged the knife into his chest, and then fucked him.

He couldn't say anything more.

fail?how can that be possible?

With Huayu and me, how could we fail?

As for him saying I will survive.

I don't know whether to be happy or think this is also a stupid statement.

How would I know at that time.

It's a curse anyway.

【9】

It's that time of year again when the cherry blossoms fall.

He said to me as usual: "Go to bed early."

"Is it really okay if I don't go together tomorrow?" I asked worriedly.

"Well, our allied forces have arrived, and you will be responsible for staying here tomorrow." His fingers gently stroked my cheek, and I, who was intoxicated by his gentleness, forgot to ask.I just faintly noticed that apart from the faint scent of his body today, there was also a sweet smell in the room.

After a long time, consciousness gradually became blurred, probably because of drowsiness.

I want to call his name.

Wanted to say goodnight to him.

And he lowered his head and gently tasted my lips.

I wanted to hug him tightly, but he hugged me in his arms first.

In this way, I fell into the trap of the night undefended in his arms.

【10】

It was already afternoon when I woke up.

I staggered to sit under the cherry tree.

But still a little unbearable and fell down.

I lay on my back under the tree, watching the leaves that were about to fall trembling in the sun when they were blown by the wind.

The sun shines on me through the wide gaps in the leaves.

The bunches are clearly visible.

A quiet afternoon, a glow of form.

It's like heaven.

【11】

Living in the world is something that people can never figure out.

me too.

These incomprehensible things are often unacceptable at the beginning, making people feel hysterical and even feel like they are dreaming.

When Huayu's coffin was transported to the courtyard where we lived, I was also hysterical.

why?

Suddenly left everyone.

Suddenly it left me.

I just want to know the answer.

【12】

"Who killed him?" When I asked this sentence, not only my hand, but also my sword trembled. The deputy commander in front of him was even more frightened.

While waiting for his answer, there was only one image in my mind.

hell.

blood.

death.

He opened his mouth in fright.

"Lord Huayu...is...suicide..."

The bright red color suddenly faded before my eyes.

The overwhelming white swept over.

Even though I can feel the thoughts squeezing me in my head, their outlines are sharp, they scream.

The scent of the night.

his farewell.

and also···

"sorry."

【13】

They are still jumping and screaming back and forth in my head.

lie.

betray.

deceive.

conspiracy.

false.

I know the meaning of every word of them.

Just looking at it is shocking.

Not daring to touch their outlines, I took a step back and hid deeper in my consciousness.

What's waiting for me there is...

dark.

abyss.

sin.

In one thought, heaven becomes hell.

【14】

My lips moved twice, but the choking pinched my vocal cords tightly, and I couldn't speak.

why?

why?

Am I doing something wrong?

Is there something wrong I'm not seeing?

Has something irreparable happened?

Why is it?

No one can answer me.

What's even more ridiculous is that everyone must think that if there is anyone in this world who knows the answer, it must be me.

Because I am his lover, his closest person.

but i really...

I don't know anything.

【15】

Even if you don't understand anything.

Hate, malice, desire, these are all to be faced.

Maliciousness from all directions has grown crazily since that day, squeezing our narrow living space.

We tried very hard to remedy everything, but no one could do to Huayu's level.

At last.

all.

It's all been said.

"You will fail."

"But you will survive."

I survived.

solitary.

With love and hatred for him that cannot be let go.

Day after day, I sink into the abyss of doubt and pain.

But still alive after all.

【16】

I used to think I was strong and persistent.

I used to think I was happy.

I am not a coward, nor am I a megalomaniac.

I know people are ignorant.

I admit I am ignorant.

Who can answer my question?

What is the so-called reason to live for?

What is happiness?

How do I go about finding it?

I still don't understand.

【17】

"You're going to hell."

"You'll spend your whole life trying to find answers."

I should have let him finish.

Right.

The author has something to say:

The next chapter is basically the end of all the memories of the magic horse. Anyway, the mystery of the heroine’s memory in this chapter is also revealed~ Even if there are other mysteries later, I will not mention it for the time being... I hope everyone will have patience until the end The moment the big boss appeared~

Next, the heroine will concentrate on attacking the men in various banks, and then won't the CP be very stable?

So much to say first...