Three thousand congratulations

【1】

As soon as she opened her eyes, she staggered towards Takasugi, ignoring that her head was still dizzy from the sex.

"Can't wait to kill me?" He pushed her away, and she squatted on the ground with her head covered in pain.

"But don't you think this is the best ending? If he finds out that you are the sister of a high-ranking shogunate official, he will feel resentful and gradually alienate you? I just brought your ending forward."

Looking at her eyes full of hatred, he couldn't help laughing, "Are you still struggling? Pretending to choose the path of kindness because of deep love. Obviously you want to destroy everything, right? What about patience? I can give you everything you want."

"As long as you're with me, you can..."

In a daze, she could see Gui's face slowly appearing in front of her eyes, but she couldn't hear what he was saying, Gao Shan's voice kept spinning around her ears, screaming, overshadowing Gui's voice, Gui The overlapping of Takasugi's appearance and Takasugi's voice nearly split her head.

"Shut up, what do you know!!!" She yelled at him: "You don't understand anything!!!"

"Do you think I don't understand?" He sneered, "Huh, his name is Huayu, right? That guy?"

"After he died, you fell into a slump, constantly hurting yourself and changing your appearance. If you fail to seek death, you will punish yourself in a degenerate way. It's really naive. You think it's all your fault, right? You think it's yourself You don’t love him enough, don’t know him enough, you think if you give more, you might be able to keep him to stay, right? But according to me, none of this is your fault. Understand?”

He pinched her chin, but she seemed shocked by his words, and could only look at him blankly.

"It doesn't seem credible to say that, so how about listening to my story?"

"When I was young, I also met someone like your Huayu who made me want to follow to the death. He is my teacher Yoshida Shoyang, and of course the teacher of several other guys. If I didn't meet him , maybe my life will be like an earthworm in a quagmire, twisted and dead the moment the water dries up, or worse, surrounded by parents and relatives I don’t like at all, or assimilated into a ridiculous scum like them, Or like that Ye Zang, in order to woo stupid humans, put on a clown mask and dance, and then commit suicide early."

"But I met him and got his care and education. Let me know that there are things like light in this world.

But, you also know later, right?He is dead, murdered by this hopeless country and stupid human beings.He once let me know that there is light in this world, and he also let me know that after the light disappears, only darkness remains in this world.If I have never seen the light, maybe I will be like a blind man, thinking that darkness is the original state of life, but the terrible thing is that I have seen and possessed it, so when I lost the light again, I decided to abandon myself eyes out. "

He pointed to the bandages on his face.

"You understand this feeling, right? It's better to be short than to be indiscriminate. After losing the one you love most, no matter how good it is later, you can't accept it. You also hate this world, right? This country, this government, has seized Your lover, took away my mentor. They took away our important things, but they still continue to ask us to kneel down to them. It's not fair, right? Why are those beautiful, tender things being torn apart Why can't those stupid, rotten things continue to exist leisurely? Why do we have to endure such pain? Why?"

The expression on his face became wild again.

"Because it's not us who are wrong, but the world."

"Do you think I don't understand? In this world, is there anyone who understands you better than me? Family members? They gave up long ago because they took a different path. Friends? They only remember, only discourage you, only Will tell you that the past is over, they will only feel sorry for your change, they feel that you have been knocked down, they feel that you have changed!"

"But have we really changed?"

"Has the feeling for that person really changed? It is precisely because we are in a changing era, and that feeling has not changed, so we seem to be the one who has changed? I think, if it is you, You must be able to understand me? You can understand my fanaticism, my distress, and my loneliness." There was a gentle look in his eyes, and he knelt down and gently touched her face , "Now, answer me. Do you really hate me? If so, why save me?"

She realized that Takasugi's world was approaching.In other words, he slowly walked towards his world.

No.

She brushed his hand away and stood up from the ground.

【2】

She looked at him and opened her mouth gently.

"What I'm going to say next may make you want to kill me and shut me up, or simply deny it completely.

Anyway, it won't bother me anymore.Maybe I should have said it earlier.But... why?Maybe I can't bear it, I don't know..."

"What do you want to say? I'm all ears." Gao Shan looked at her with interest.

"From the first moment I saw you, I hated you very much, and I hated you. What you brought me was not only the disgust in my heart, but also the disgust in my body. Later I Only then did I realize that that aversion was not disgust, but excitement.

Even if you stand in my sight and say nothing, do nothing, my body and mind will have a strong feeling.It's because... Maybe it's because we're so similar, or maybe we're just the same kind of people. "

"People like us should be in some dark corner of the world, destroying ourselves or others, in short, we should do such things. We must feel that we are alone and not understood, You can't have companions, you have dreams, and even the fetters you have had have to be dealt with by yourself."

"I can't do this... because once you are understood and believed, you will be relieved, and you will no longer be able to stick to what you hold on to in your heart. The thing you keep saying will not change is actually not very strong. Right? Why, because you also know that it’s because it doesn’t exist, it’s not real anymore. That thing that’s hidden in your heart and can’t be let go, in fact, we know better than anyone that it’s wrong and meaningless, right? Well."

"But you can't give up. Because letting go is betrayal, and letting go of everything and living is a great sin."

"I can't let go of that person's death, and I set a clause for myself that I can never let go unless he comes back to life. You are the same, right Takasugi. Because of a death, because of a dead person... to this point. What is unforgivable is not that person, but the powerless self and the world that cannot do anything about his departure. There is only one way for such a sinful self to continue to love each other, which is to constantly torture and destroy himself... .Let yourself not be able to have a minute of happiness... But in your heart, do you really not desire happiness at all? Isn't it really your way of jealousy to want to destroy other people's happiness?"

"I can only hate, not be jealous." For some reason, he turned sideways and no longer faced her.

"Once all of this is understood by others, there will be no way to show off as smoothly as before, right? If the bit of hatred that is struggling to support, if it meets love, it will be easily defeated. So you can't get close to the world , can’t reveal your heart, can’t ask for something.”

"Fortunately, even my former companions can't fully understand this state of mind. They just think that you were overwhelmed by the stimulation and changed, so they have been hiding it until now, right? But since the day we met, this game has become more difficult. up.

But we didn't stop. We always felt that we were determined and depressed enough, so we continued to move forward at the risk of being seen through by similar people.People like us are not allowed to meet each other, not even to breathe the air of one place.As you said, we are too similar and know each other too well, so my weakness is your weakness.You should have killed me earlier, if you keep me, it will only expose your weakness. "

"It's not too late to kill you." Gao Shan sneered.

"But you hesitated, didn't you? Even though I would expose everything about you, you still couldn't help but keep me. You wanted to destroy me, and you wanted me to hate you. You didn't want me to love you, because that would Destroy you, but you can't help longing. Longing for love, longing for love from someone who can understand you. Only hating you can make me lose the ability to expose you. Because then I will not sympathize with you, understand You even tried to save yourself."

"You're afraid of being saved. You're afraid of human love."

"So, do you hate me?" Gao Shan turned around and found that she was holding a knife in her hand, "Do you want to kill me?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do it. Maybe we are all lonely, but even if we are lonely, we have no reason to deprive others of their lives. This world takes our favorites in a forced way. Do we have to use this despicable way? To force others?" Her eyes slowly turned red, "Gaoshan, we can't exist at the same time, you are torturing me, and I am torturing you, so torturing each other is really meaningless. We are enough It hurts."

"You're really good at torturing people, Takasugi, I can't bear it anymore."

"Gaoshan, I won't save you, and I don't want to save you." She almost begged, "So, please don't save me either."

【3】

The moment the clothes on his chest were wet with the blood splattered from her body, Gao Shan subconsciously stretched out his hand to hold her sword to stop her, the sharp blade cut open the tiger's mouth, Gao Shan felt no pain, he just Desperately trying to get rid of the sword that was submerged in her body.

Feeling that the sword was held by his hand and could not penetrate any further, but the blood still left the body along the incision, her consciousness gradually became blurred.

Why are you still stopping me?It seems that you Takasugi Shinsuke is nothing more than that.

Even though he was hurt by this world, he couldn't give up on human beings. He maintained the last connection with this world in a destructive way, filled his broken heart with the hatred he got, destroyed himself, and made humble sacrifices to human beings. Courtship.

Such a sad you, such a sad me.

At this moment, a sharp pain from the wound interrupted her thoughts.

Although you lost, but before you, I will lose the qualification of the competition.

The bloody breath rising from her throat made her almost unable to breathe, and the loss of consciousness also quickened her pace, and Takasugi's face in front of her eyes slowly blurred.

"It's finally over." She smiled.

The eyes are completely blurred.

"I'm sorry." She said angrily.

But she didn't say sorry to him alone.

Who is it for?She has too many sorry people, Katsura, Gintoki, Rota, brother, grandfather, Kashiwako, Shinpachi, and Takasugi.

So many sorry, the source is because of my own remnants, right?

The moment you were born into this world, you should say sorry.

I wasted the life given by my parents, pursued those vain things, and finally died in the arms of the man I had always resisted.

Close your eyes and feel the familiar darkness.

so many years.

What I've been looking forward to is this moment.

"If you feel sorry, cheer me up!" Gao Shan looked at her slowly closing eyes, and kept shaking her shoulders.

But she has no response.

Gao Shan hugged her limp body and knelt down on the ground.

He pulled out the knife, but the wound on her abdomen kept bleeding out.

Takasugi pressed her wound with his injured hand, and her blood mixed with his.

It really hurts.

【4】

"do not die."

"If you die, I will hate you."

"You know what hate is for people like us."

"If I hate you, I will live for you."

"I don't want to live for a guy like you."

"You certainly don't want that."

"So don't die, absolutely don't die."

He pressed his face tightly against her cheek.

"I won't allow you to escape alone."

Don't leave me again.

Don't leave me alone.

The author has something to say:

Well, that's right, I started to post blades, and suddenly I had an idea, if the heroine just hangs up like this, can this article be over? ? ?

What do you think of my idea?