[My English] It's not a problem if you can communicate with your fists

The Yuki family's mansion is very large.

The opposite of the size of the mansion is the feeling of the whole building.

It's gloomy, cold, with a bit of chill, like a giant beast standing at the end of the street.

I sat on the wall of the yard, and the few nannies in the family moved wordlessly in the cold space like worker bees constantly passing through the hive.Occasionally, someone would raise their head to meet my gaze, and then immediately lower their head, as if they could pretend nothing happened.

Be it at home or at school, everyone has the same attitude towards me.

I'm not a monster that devours people, but even so, no one stops to talk to me.

After all, it is my own reason.

I used to be just an ordinary kid.If that hadn't happened.

Just like I call the owner of the Yuki family cheap daddy, I am not the biological child of the Yuki family. Before being brought into the Yuki family, I spent nearly six years in an orphanage.

Up to now, I have forgotten the name of the orphanage and where it is located. I only remember the bad things that happened there.

The orphanage didn't have any big figures to support it, so life there was not very easy.The poor life and the daily complaints of the staff have brought about an extremely depressing environment.

In that environment, someone is bound to fall victim to the stress.

It was just a small thing that first detonated the whole thing.

Children's animosity towards someone may simply stem from small details, such as the fact that he speaks too softly, or that he didn't get the soup when the staff handed out his lunch.By the time I noticed this, the little boy was already in a rather dire position.

The white uniform issued by the orphanage was put on his thin body, and it was blown by the wind.

Maybe it was just some child's silly joke. The boy in white uniform was hung upside down on the tree, and the child's immature ankles were tightly wrapped with rough hemp ropes. Just by looking at his face, he knew that the situation was definitely not easy.

There were many watching children standing around, no one reached out to help him out, only ridicule and pointing around the boy.

I can even feel the utter malice in those broken whispers.

The purest and most terrifying malice that belongs only to children.

In fact, it was just a very worn-out rope, and it would break if someone was willing to use a little force. The height from which the boy was hung was not terrible, and even if no one caught him, he would not fall into any trouble.

But even so, because of pure "hate", no one helped him.

The face of the child in sight was flushed red, and an expression mixed with fear and despair appeared on his pretty face.

He clearly did nothing wrong.

If it goes on like this, it will probably kill people.

I stepped forward, climbed up the tree under the cold eyes of others, and untied the rope that bound the boy.

After finishing this series of things, I looked up, and I was met with a lot of mocking and disgusting eyes.It's as if I'm not helping others, but doing something heinous that will be cast aside by everyone.

The boy didn't say thank you to me, he almost left the grove crying.

If this was the end of it, I'd probably be just another kid who would reach out to someone who was suffering.It's just a thank you, the reason why I helped him is not superficial words.

The day after I helped the boy, my world turned upside down.

No matter where I am, malicious probing eyes follow me closely like snake ants.Immediately afterwards, my pillow, which has always been damp all year round, was stuffed with unknown bugs, and the clothes in the closet were twisted into a mess with scissors.

Back then, I didn't understand why, but now I know very well.

——I, who helped the bullied, became a new bullied.

If it were me now, probably when I found out that I was being targeted, I would twist something in full view as a warning, but at that time, I didn't intend to use my personality.

Or, at that time, I just wanted to survive as a "personalityless".

Therefore, except for a small number of staff, no one knows that I am also a personality holder, and almost everyone regards me as a "disabled" without personality.

Along with the silence, the bullying becomes more and more excessive.

At first, the stationery needed to go to school was destroyed in various ways, and the amount was so large that even the staff were unwilling to buy me new stationery; then there was pervasive ridicule, even if it was just ordinary If I fall, some people will laugh at me behind my back and call me a waste.

I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do, so I asked the little boy who was initially bullied.

Contrary to what I expected, he didn't answer my questions, and he didn't even want to talk to me.

In the evasive gaze of the other party, I understood something.

I have been betrayed.

Betrayed by someone he helped.

To be precise, the bullied people I helped also joined the ranks of the bullies.In order to distance himself from me, he even tore my textbooks to shreds in front of everyone on the second day I went to see him.

But even so, I still didn't feel that I shouldn't help him.

The end of the matter came one afternoon.I stood on the scaffolding and pasted the newspaper clippings that the staff told me to paste. A few children ran over suddenly and destroyed a corner of the scaffolding with their personality.

The unbalanced tool crashed to the ground.

Accompanied by the pain in my back, I finally couldn't help but activate my personality.

Until now, I don't know what kind of state I was in at that time.

Angry or sad?It seems that is not the case.At that time, my brain was blank, and my body started to act automatically, and the personality that was part of the individual "Niuxu" was more like some kind of self-protection mechanism, which was activated without my own self-consciousness at all.

When I regained my senses, the entire orphanage was immersed in the crying of children.

Everyone present except me had broken bones, some arms and some legs.I was supposed to be injured, but I was just lying on the ground, my body temporarily lost the ability to move because of the sudden impact.

The staff rushed in in a panic, and then dialed the hospital in a panic.From the beginning to the end, I didn't get a single sentence of criticism. After my limbs were twisted, the eyes of the children who had looked at me with ridicule turned into fear.

It was also at that moment that I understood a truth.

People who are being bullied are not eligible for help.

The only ones who can help them are themselves, and helping those who can't even save themselves will only push themselves into the abyss.