hear you want to know

My life in anonymity is actually pretty good. During the day, I live more easily than before, but at night I always have nightmares.

□□I have a lot of them, and I can replace them whenever and wherever I need them.

However, all blatant things are not allowed, for example, appearing by Liang Ye's side.

I stopped visiting Liang Ye's space because I was afraid of being locked out of the website. I abandoned all modern networks and lived a primitive life.

You ask me why I was caught by the police in the end?

"Ha ha ha ha ha……"

It's not because the way of heaven favors reincarnation.

I hid in a relatively well-developed city in the southwest, where there are a large number of migrants and dense population, it is not difficult to hide and find a job that can make a living.

Regarding my final exposure, this time I really believed in my fate, I lost to God, this time, I am convinced.

Remember the story about my dad's unexpected death?The murderer who accidentally killed my dad, the two of us worked in a black shop.

The world is big, and sometimes the world is unbelievably small.

This is fate.

At first I didn't know that man was the one who killed my dad.

Once he robbed my business again and attributed my hard work to him. I held back my anger.But he went ahead and said that he knew my secret and publicly told everyone about my sexual orientation.

I couldn't bear it anymore, and we scuffled with him, and we were beaten badly.

He threatened to take revenge on me, he said he was not afraid of anything, he had even killed people, and he was afraid that a dead gay would fail!

As soon as he said this, the audience fell silent.

In fact, among the people there, who is clean, and they all have something behind their backs.

Everyone kept silent, because they didn't want to tear the window paper.

But that person was a stupefied one. Seeing that everyone didn't answer, he thought it was because they didn't believe his words.He became excited, exaggerating and showing off the murder case in his hands.

The more I heard it, the more it became wrong, and I asked him, "Is the man you killed surnamed Jiang?"

He froze, not daring to answer my words.

I asked him: "Are you the one who was beaten to death in XX village?!"

His eyes dodge, erratic.

He spat and said, "None of your mother's business!"

I yelled and jumped at him.

In the end of the matter, he was almost beaten to death by me, and we both went to jail, both of which were charged with manslaughter.

I don't know how the lawyer will react when he tells him who I really am, or how shocked he is by what I've done.

I explained everything quietly in the interrogation room, and I thought I could finally sleep peacefully at night.

Manslaughter is not such a serious crime, but because I still have two charges of absconding in fear of crime and insulting the corpse, I have no chance of reducing my sentence.

I confessed what happened frankly, and I didn't think about getting a chance for leniency for myself, but the interrogating policeman was full of hostility towards me.

Yes, in everyone's eyes, I should be struck by lightning.

I disregard human relations, I am not kind or filial, I am heinous, I am heinous.

Investigation, interrogation, plea, sentencing, detention.

After a series of incidents, no one came to see me except the defense lawyer assigned by the court. Do you know who the socks I am wearing are from?

The man who killed my father asked someone to bring it to me.

It's ironic!He served his sentence for my father, and I paid my life for my mother.

I heard that every time he mentioned this matter, he regretted it very much. He felt that he had harmed our whole family. If my father hadn't died, I wouldn't have come to where I am today.

I thought about what he said, and felt that he really had well-developed limbs and a simple mind.

Oh, by the way, he entrusted the prison guard to bring me the pair of socks on my feet. He said, it's cold, so wear these warmer.

Life is really indescribable!

I thought that after the verdict came down, I just need to wait for death in peace, but I didn't expect that your reporters would rush to interview me after hearing the news.

I have admitted everything I should admit in court, why are you still chasing me?

The news you want to dig out about me can be obtained by going to the case file, so you are definitely not because of those things that have already been made public.

What you want to dig out of me is nothing more than those news that are enough to attract people's attention and trigger explosive points.

For example, my homosexual status; for example, my

The family environment in which I grew up; another example, my psychological state after killing someone.

I can't analyze myself accurately, or I'm not rational enough to treat myself as if I were a stranger.

I plead guilty to what I did, but there are some things that I still don't feel are wrong.

This is the end of my words, and I have finished what I should say, but the female reporter opposite still refuses to stop writing. She doesn't feel that the story is coming to an end.

If she doesn't look up, I have no choice but to continue talking.

"You remember what I said? I really met someone who is more stubborn than me. Well, before your pen runs out of ink, I will continue."

Going on, I just want to say something, or you can ask me something.

Looking back now, there are still many happy moments in my life, or warm moments.

At that time, I was still young, and my parents had to go out to work to support the family. There was no way, so she tied one arm with a rope, and then tied the other end to the bedside table.There are food and drink around, except that I can't run away, I can't be thirsty or hungry, and I'm safe.

It’s just that the neighbors occasionally heard me crying, and they were afraid that something might happen to me when I was alone at home, so they always kindly volunteered to take care of me.

So, I became a child raised by the neighbors in the community in shifts. This is also called growing up eating "hundreds of meals".

Therefore, after I became sensible, I always told myself that I must strive to be excellent and a capable adult in order to have the opportunity to repay those people.

To repay them, I have no chance.I just hope that they won't be ashamed of me in the future.

Finally, let’s talk about Liang Ye, after all, all my happy memories are about him.

At the beginning of the road to escape, I lived in fear every day, and I was like a frightened bird at the slightest sign of trouble.

Liang Ye can't contact me, how anxious should I be?

After receiving those text messages, will he have a lot of things he wants to ask me or have a lot of things he wants to say to me.

I have to restrain my hand that wants to call him countless times every day.

The money on my body will soon be spent, and I can no longer use my previous identity to show others. Therefore, my previous high education has become something I can’t talk about. Fight for some money that can fill your stomach.

I'm like a mouse living in the gutter, no light.

I don't know when such days will see the end, I don't want to die, I can only live like that.

It is not without the second possibility, just like now, being imprisoned here.In fact, it's pretty good, like now, at least there are people who are willing to listen to me, and I can tell the truth from the bottom of my heart.

Very easy.

You asked me if I went to see that aunt later?

Why am I looking for her? I guess I have to hide deeper than her.

hate her?

Don't hate, my family's tragedy, my personal tragedy has nothing to do with her.She is just a pitiful cockroach, which was buried decades ago.

But I believe that she will die badly, just like me.

I'm not cursing her, really.During these days of fleeing, I have seen all kinds of lives. Their experiences are not the same, but the endings tend to be the same.

That is, good people will not die, but bad people must die well.

Don't refute me with individual examples, because we are all different.Empathy is itself a false proposition.

I say this not to offend myself, I just want to analyze myself more truly.

What am I?I am human.

What is a person?Man is a combination of divinity and animality.

I like this generalization very much, it is too precise and the understanding is too deep.

I was thinking back to the divine and animal moments in my life, and unfortunately I seem to have a lot more animal time than divine time.

survive?compete?

Even the most ordinary meal time is the most basic way for animals to survive.

Who doesn't eat and sleep?

The vital signs of living things need to be maintained, and that's what it takes.

But, you know what?Some people can also experience love at the dinner table.

For those who don’t like ginger, when they see the ginger slices on the plate are cut into large pieces, they can be seen at a glance, and the thoughtfulness that can’t be pinched wrong is love.

There are countless examples of loving environments.

And I, Kong has a pair of eyes that are good at discovering, but I don't perceive the delicate love.

Ever since I was a child, my eating time has always seemed to be a battle, and racing against time is a skill I have to develop.

compete?Now often say "friendship first, competition second".

That's just words to comfort the losers.

Sorry, it's too far away, let's go back to my own affairs.

What are you interested in that I haven't said?

Sexual orientation is over.The reason for the sentence and the course of the crime are clearly stated in the verdict, so we don’t waste any more time.The growth environment and psychological factors, I think this is a topic that cannot be explained clearly.

I will leave it to the experts to interpret it in detail after you report it.

I don't know if there will be a big discussion on family education.

Oh, by the way, please remind everyone not to generalize.

There are many environments where I grew up, but not every family will have me, so I tell everyone not to be afraid.

I don't think I went astray, I think I was just hit by a wall by a ghost, and I couldn't get around when I stood still.

Looking back, I have no regrets from the moment I raised the scissors, and I have no regrets to say something heinous.

At that moment, my actions were crazy, and my person was also crazy, but I must admit that the crazy me is also me, because I am not really crazy yet.

I clearly know that that madness exposed me as a devil, and my humanity has been swallowed up by it.

Finally, let me tell you something.

My case is not of any reference and exploratory nature. If you delve into it, it will cause the most panic.

If I am no longer an exception, that is the most terrible thing.

"Reporter Chen, thank you for your hard work. Your hands are stained with ink. Remember to wash them off."

The author has something to say: text, end.

Update episode tonight.

☆, Jiang Yuze in my eyes outside the episode

First of all, it is stated that "Liang Ye" in the article is a pseudonym.

I am a reporter who conducts exclusive interviews with people, and I have interviewed too many people of all kinds over the years.They each have their own life experiences, each has its own bizarre stories, and each has its own difficulties.

Among all the people I interviewed, Jiang Yuze was the calmest. He didn't have any emotional fluctuations throughout the whole process. He seemed to be telling other people's stories, which might have something to do with the countdown of his life.

He was about to leave this world naked, so he no longer needed those fig leafs.

When I first received the task of reporting this case, my thought was the same as everyone else's, to find out the hot spots, and try to find the hot spots as much as possible!

In fact, every piece of information on him has the potential to become a hot spot, which is why so many newspapers are vying for exclusives.

I have been sorting out the news since "Ping An **" announced the news of his arrest to the public.

Investigate the case, read the case file, and inquire about the news with the people inside the police.But this time those guys were surprisingly strict and refused to say anything, so I had to run back and forth all the time.

From the beginning of the trial to the end of the final trial, I never lost a game.

The deeper I understand the case, the more I feel powerless, powerless to the lives of others, powerless to the injustice of fate.

And more feelings are about the complexity of "human nature".

May 5 was a memorable day, because on this day, he finally agreed to be interviewed by me. This was also the first time he spoke outside the courtroom.

I used to sit in the gallery watching him, and all I could see was the back of his head. Today, when we met face to face for the first time, he gave me the first impression that he was a "passerby".

Yes, the kind of person who casually passes you by on the street and you don't pay attention at all.

The sun is shining brightly outside, but this ward is air-conditioned.

The first sentence he spoke was straightforward, very straightforward, and it was his character.

I was surprised at the beginning of his narration, I thought that person would be the part hidden deep in his heart, it would be his carefulness.

He looked at a camphor tree outside the ward and started his memory.

I specially prepared a pen and paper instead of any more convenient and fast electronic devices. I don’t know why I did this. Maybe I also want to calm down and listen to him.

I was so relieved that he could start with the best and warmest moment in his life.

I have heard all kinds of suffering stories, and most of the profound sufferings of those people are related to the social environment, policy environment and even natural environment they lived in at that time.

Only Jiang Yuze was not. His tragedies all stemmed from personal life experiences.

There are always various factors that induce tragedy. We don’t need to impose any charges on him after the verdict of the law. What we need to do is to learn lessons from his story and reflect on the problem.

But as he said, everyone's life experience cannot be copied. His growth environment, his personal problems, and his family tragedies are not something that everyone will encounter, or in other words, encounter all of these.

Therefore, in fact, individual cases are not of any reference. The public wants to know, nothing more than to satisfy their own curiosity.

He spoke slowly, and I wrote vigorously, showing the speed and seriousness of taking class notes when I was in school.

Gradually, you will feel the carefulness of this person, he will pay attention to the pauses in his speech speed, and he will slow down his speech speed and wait for you to catch up.Even when it comes to the saddest part, this silent waiting still exists.

Of course, you can also feel this person's indifference to yourself.

Whether he was talking about happy vibes, glorious moments, or painful things, he was very calm, and even adjusted his tone slightly when my facial expression changed.

I was surprised by his calmness, and secretly shocked by his indifference.

I paid attention to his behavior and movements throughout the whole process. Unfortunately, his movements followed his tone of voice without any surprises.

One of his hands was handcuffed on the hospital bed, and the other had just been medicated, and he didn't feel uncomfortable changing from the prison uniform to the hospital uniform.

Only the socks on his feet were still the same pair, which was given to him by the man who killed his father. They were orange-yellow, which didn't match the pale tones of the ward, but he often set his eyes on them.

It was this detail that made me deeply appreciate the complexity of "human nature".Yes, people not only have an AB side, but should also have more layers, just need to be triggered by things.

Love, hatred, and hatred have already made life complicated, but it is not enough. If you add poverty and hardship, and everyone can make money, it will be a life that is as low as dust.

Unfortunately, Jiang Yuze met all these in his life.They lined up to meet him once, each forcibly taking something out of his life, leaving him barren in the end.

In fact, what everyone wants to know is how such a life struggles against this society.

However, after listening to the whole process, Jiang Yuze didn't seem to resist!

I think he was submissive most of the time. Whether he was aware of his mother's intentions when he was young or faced some difficulties after his father's death, he didn't show much courage.

Some people think it's because of his young age, but I don't think so.

Although he is young, his mentality is very mature, and it is precisely because of this maturity that he knows where the "red line" of some things is.

What he has been doing is to be careful not to touch the red line, but there are too many uncontrollable factors, which finally forced him into a corner.

Perhaps, his tragedy has been brought from birth, which is what people often say is the original sin of a certain "family of origin".

His mother is the eldest daughter of the family and the first "promising" child to walk out of the mountains. In her, the honor and stability of the family cannot be destroyed.

The first few years were good, and she was about to fulfill her ideals in the next generation, and she was about to return to her hometown with glory in her family.

However, the appearance of a person broke the glamorous appearance for many years.

Before the hole could be filled, the tragic death of the father brought disaster to the whole family.

In fact, in my opinion, after Jiang Yuze's father passed away, this family has actually existed in name only.

What the mother and son struggled with was nothing but thoughts of their father.

The unfortunate fate continued, and the mother's kidney failure made things worse, and their lives had fallen to the bottom.

As for the little aunt who came out later, I don't think she is the culprit of the whole tragedy. Although she is abominable, she is not the root cause.

If we want to analyze something objectively, we should not bring in subjective emotions to judge.

Tragedy has long been doomed, and they are doomed.

The only one who has become a "beam of light" here is Liang Ye, but his appearance has accelerated the progress of the tragedy to some extent.

It's not his fault, just like that aunt, after all they don't know anything about the ending.

There was another booster, the one who killed Jiang Yuze's father, and the balance of fate began to tilt from that day on.

"Heaven's law is clear, retribution is not good." The man was punished accordingly, but the hand that pulled him out was so clever.

The word "fate" is really unfathomable.

Please forgive me for always mentioning the word fate here, because at present I cannot use science to demonstrate the cause and effect of these things.

Let's talk about Jiang Yuze, in fact, I think he is an unlovable person in life, he is neither likable nor unusual.The most outstanding grades are not outstanding in prestigious universities, but with his character, not to mention withdrawn, he is already considered a very gentle vocabulary.

It is his honor that someone is willing to approach him, and more people choose to be strangers to him.

I think he also has a deep understanding of himself, otherwise he wouldn't have held Liang Ye firmly, he was so eager for warmth.

However, before he could fight for something for himself, the gears of fate had already deviated from the direction of his life trajectory. He was caught off guard and everything was messed up.

The so-called "one wrong step, one wrong step", from the moment he didn't tell Liang Ye the truth about not going to England, he let go of the 50.00% possibility of life.

Fortunately, he didn't force him to accept his fate.However, unless someone refused to let him admit it.

I can imagine the torment in his heart when he was struggling, and I can imagine the joy and despair when he quarreled with his mother and had a showdown.But, I can't empathize because I'm not him.

The first time he "pushed away" himself in front of others, Jiang Yuze felt relaxed, at least, he no longer wanted to pretend to the whole world.

I think he still had hope in his heart at that time, about that person.

What if he had gone crazy and told Liang Ye his true thoughts desperately?Will the situation be completely different today?

However, he missed it after all.He wasn't crazy when he should be the most crazy, but pointed the knife at himself when he shouldn't be crazy.

Looking at the white bandage on his neck, I thought, there is really no what if in this world.

Jiang Yuze is very sober, I never heard a word of regret from him, because regret is useless.

He has already dissected himself so deeply, I don't want to continue digging, just talk about some details that I noticed.

Then, about this person, leave it to the readers to comment.

When I entered the door today, what I noticed was the softness of his facial expression, and then the origin of the socks on his feet.

What I noticed in the previous trial was his calm tone, his confession of the details of the crime and his good attitude of pleading guilty.

What's more, he bowed slightly to the judge every time and cooperated with the court police.

From his series of actions, I really want to think that he feels that he is sorry for causing trouble to everyone because of his affairs.

I don't know what other people think of his actions, but for me, it was indeed touching.

Oh, and one more thing, the moment I got up and left after the interview.

He said: "Reporter Chen, you have worked hard. Your hands are stained with ink. Remember to wash them off."

I gently closed the door of the ward, and before I could go far, the prison guard entered the room.

I know that this is the last time I will see him. He must have committed a heinous crime in his previous life, so much so that he would still follow him in the reincarnation.

Otherwise, why the law didn't sentence him to death, but the serious illness found him later, and with his physique lacking a kidney, he couldn't survive this month.

They said it was a visit, but they didn't give me a chance to perform during the whole process.

In fact, I have a sentence smothered in my heart: "If you still have a chance in life, would you be willing to meet Liang Ye again?"

It was Liang Ye who asked me to ask this question for him.

In the end, I took it upon myself to say nothing.

The author has something to say: short story, end.

The fourth book is about a martial arts+chaotang story, and the outline of the story has only been started, and it is estimated that it will not be updated until mid-June.

Come on, yourself!