hear you want to know

When I got home, my mother was almost blind from crying.

This time, I really couldn't cry.

I picked up her bank card and remittance voucher, turned around and was about to go out, and I wanted to call the police.

I remembered the phone out of time, I picked it up to look, it turned out to be her number, she dared to call!

I picked up the phone, and she spoke to me as if nothing had happened. She said, "I'm sorry, this time I walked away without saying hello again. Say sorry to my sister and take her money." , I will pay it back when I get rich in the future or if she lives long enough."

I was shaking with anger.

She said calmly: "Actually speaking, I can't say that I owe her the money, it should be said that she owes me. After all, if it wasn't for her back then, I wouldn't have been sold to the poor mountain valley." Give her money in the ditch."

"They said his eldest daughter was sensible, well-behaved, and good at reading, so they forced me to drop out of school to herd cattle and plow the fields to support the family. I have already accepted my fate, but they still sold me to an old bachelor in a poor mountain valley, just because The price he offered was [-] more than the price from the same village."

She suddenly yelled: "In their eyes, I'm fucking pork, and the price is clearly marked!"

"As for my good sister, she pretends to be ignorant of everything. She never really cares about my life and death. She takes the money from selling me to study, take exams, and fight for her future." She gritted her teeth: "Her husband is kind and filial, People are respected and superior to others, but what happened to her in the end!"

She suddenly laughed loudly on the phone: "Her karma has come, her husband who loved her died tragically, she herself has a terminal illness, and her son...is a homosexual! Hahaha...Retribution, this is retribution!"

After she finished speaking, she laughed "hehe" on the other end of the phone, which sounded eerie.

"Where are you?" I tried to calm myself down.

"You don't need to reveal my words! Even if you find me, there is nothing you can do about it. The money she gave me is a gift from impermanence, and you can't get it back."

"I don't want money, tell me where you are!" I almost yelled after finishing these words.

"Why, are you angry? Are you trying to kill me or something? I don't know if you have the courage, but I still advise you to admit it honestly, otherwise, I will tell you like the whole world It's a gay thing."

threaten me? !

I calmed down and said, "What era do you think this is? Does anyone really care about other people's sexual orientation? Also, do you think my classmates and teachers will look down on me because of this? ? Then you are too..."

"Liang Ye...that boy's name is Liang Ye, right?"

She interrupted what I was saying, she actually knew Liang Ye's name.

She chuckled and said, "Don't panic, it's easy to inquire about a person studying abroad in your small place, not to mention that he is so good and well known."

"what are you up to?!"

"I know you are in a difficult situation. You haven't told him the fact that you are gay. How about it? Do you need me to tell him for you? After all, I am your aunt, and he can believe what I say."

Every word she uttered was like poisoned darts, each of which pierced my heart.

My heart is riddled with holes.

"What do you want?!" I asked her word by word.If she is in front of me, I would like to tear her up and swallow her alive.

"It's not that bad, just live with your half-dead mother honestly, and stop paying attention to me." She said it as a matter of course: "By the way, tell her that I have already sold the ancestral house in my hometown. Who told me that I am also the daughter of this family, unexpectedly, the dilapidated old house is quite valuable."

After she finished speaking, she hung up the phone, and then turned off the phone.

I turned on the speakerphone, and my mother listened the whole time.

This time, she couldn't take it anymore and passed out.

I rushed her to the hospital. I was exhausted and collapsed beside the hospital bed. Now it's all over. We have taken up two beds in one ward.

When I woke up, my mother was still awake.

Lying weakly on the hospital bed, the needle hole on the back of the hand is slightly painful, it should be a needle rolling, and there are some bruises.

I quietly looked at the white ceiling above my head, and I thought my complexion should not be much better than this big white wall.

After finishing a bottle of glucose, my mother also woke up. When she saw me next to her, she immediately closed her eyes tightly. She was ashamed that I looked at me.

I rented a wheelchair and pushed her home.

The two of us talked all the way, exhausted physically and mentally.

I looked at the empty refrigerator, went downstairs to the supermarket to buy ingredients, and when I came back again, my mother had cleaned herself up neatly.

The dress she was wearing was bought by my dad for her on their wedding anniversary.

When I saw how she was dressed, I knew the situation was going to be bad, but I really really didn't have the energy to deal with her anymore, I just wanted to ask her to let me be quiet and stop making trouble.

She was surprisingly calm, and said softly: "I don't have the face to continue living. You don't have to persuade me. No one can stop a person who wants to die."

I was so exhausted that I didn't want to argue with her anymore, so I said, "Where do you want to die, and what kind of death do you think you choose will not leave me a burden?"

She said, "I didn't bring my ID card, so don't come to identify the body."

I laughed out loud, probably because I was too weak, and my tears and snot spewed out uncontrollably.

I wiped my face and said with emotion: "You are so stupid and naive, this small town with big farts, you think you will not know you after you die, and you think no one will find me to report the funeral?"

"Let me tell you the truth, I don't even have any money for your funeral now, please make your choice carefully."

I express the reality blankly.

She was very calm: "No, I don't need anything."

It seems that this time, she doesn't seem to be acting for me.

"I don't owe anyone in my life. What I owe to my sister, I will pay her back this time. As for you, you were born by me. I don't owe you, and you don't need to feel guilty."

"You fart!" I blushed and yelled the first heavy sentence in my life: "You are looking for death and life, and you still say that you won't make me feel guilty, you die in front of me, and then say that we owe nothing!"

"How can you be so cruel!"

I really underestimated her mind.

"You finally said it?" She didn't mean to be angry, and continued: "You don't kiss me, and you even hate me a lot of times. Of course, I am surprised that you donated a kidney this time. Maybe this is you The benefits of higher education, and the constraints of morality and conscience at critical moments."

I looked at her speechlessly, wondering which of our faces was paler than the other.

"After I die, I hope you can turn over a new leaf and walk the right path. What about Britain, what about Liang Ye, you should give up your thoughts as soon as possible. You should know how to live without me teaching you."

"I have already sent a message to Liang Ye about your matter. To be clear, he has read it but has not responded. I think you don't have to look forward to it anymore. Go back to your own life."

I grabbed the phone that was left on the dining table, and sure enough, she really sent Liang Ye a message using my social software.

Looking at the words on the phone screen, I was dizzy.

I lost my voice: "Why?!"

She was still very calm and said: "Because you ruined my hope. I put all my hopes on you, but you, because a man is about to abandon it all. I call you Yu Ze because I hate myself for not being I am a man who wants to marry and have a son to pass on to other people's family. I am the only one in our Yu family who has walked out of the poor mountain valley, and I can't embarrass my family."

I think she's crazy, she's irrational.

I picked up the phone and wanted to call Liang Ye, explain all this to him, explain to him that I didn't mean to disturb his life, I wanted to...

I panicked, and I couldn't remember the numbers that I usually memorize by heart.

She looked at my trembling hands, and said sarcastically, "Look, your self-righteous emotions are nothing more than that, he's scared."

I was so out of breath that my eyes turned black.

She was shaking the wheelchair to go, I pulled it subconsciously, she started to break free, I pulled her regardless, we were torn apart, completely crazy.

We vent our worst emotions on each other, completely forgetting that the other is our closest relative, completely forgetting that we are human beings.

By the time I regained consciousness, she was already lying in a pool of blood.

I saw that the pair of scissors in my hand had been inserted into her chest, right in the heart.

The blood was spurted out, sprayed high into the air, and then scattered on the floor around her.

Like a dying fish, she twitched a few times until she was completely motionless.

I looked at her lying in a pool of blood, and tightly covered my screaming mouth with my hand, and then, my face was also covered with blood.

I am conscious of what happened.

I have committed a heinous crime.

The procuratorate always asks me to recall the scene at that time, but the human brain will automatically delete the memory that hurts or fears the most. It's not that I don't defend myself, I really can't remember it.

I just remember the fact that she died and I killed her.

At that time, I was so terrified that I couldn't even figure out what was going on.

The ringing of the phone woke me up.

I stood still and couldn't take a step. The ringtone went out and a text message came in.

The message on the top of the phone screen prompts a few words, "Ozawa, wait for me, I bought a ticket and I will be right back."

When I came back to my senses, I locked the doors and windows in an instant, and the curtains were tightly blocked. I was afraid that the wind would blow them, so I fixed them with adhesive tape.

Liang Ye is coming back! This is the only message left in my mind at the time.

After that, it was all my actions to clean the room and deal with follow-up issues. You should have seen this in the judgment.

Before Liang Ye's plane landed, I disappeared without a trace.

They asked me why I didn't surrender myself?

It's not that I haven't been condemned by my conscience. Every time I dream back at midnight, I'm covered in cold sweat.

But I can't turn myself in. Before the police find me, my image in Liang Ye's heart will not be shattered.

Even if it lasts for one more day, he received the message and came back to find me as soon as possible.

No matter what his purpose of coming back to me is, I can be wishful thinking and be sentimental.

As long as he doesn't tell the truth, there are infinite possibilities in my heart. As long as I am not convicted, Liang Ye will still believe me.

With this thought in mind, I fled abroad for nearly seven years.