who will you be

When Eve pressed her abdomen, clutched the stainless steel handrail, and turned the corner of the stairs out of breath, the big black cat was sitting at the other end of the stairs with its backlight licking its paws leisurely.

"Meow……"

After finishing the notes, it was already night to find a suitable hotel.Eve, who was soaking in the bathtub, was a little tired—inexplicable things happened one after another, and her only good friend, Xiao Ai, lost contact.Did something happen to Xiao Ai?She was worried, but couldn't help it.This pale feeling is all too familiar.

A lot of past events came one after another...

After a long period of dismal business, they finally don't have to hold family meetings repeatedly about "how many meals a week should eat meat".The property was accidentally photographed by a person who did not want to be named, and the creditor was not in such a hurry to chase after it. In fact, if not for the graffiti traces of debt collection spray paint on the painted wall, Eve would have even Thought they had forgotten about it.

Of course, even if they forgot, Eve would still remember what they had done to their father.

The wounds given by enemies will never be as painful as those given by friends. The closer you are, the more painful you will be.

On her father's birthday, Eve took a detour to buy a small cake with the money she had saved for a long time.Father often forgets his own birthday, but it doesn't matter, Xiaoyi will help you remember it.Imagining his father's expression when he received the cake, he "rehearsed" what he would say at that time, and smiled silly all the way.

When I got home, it was dark and my father was sitting slumped on the floor, with two lines of beautiful handwriting on the note paper in hand: "I'm leaving, thank you".

Father and mother rarely talked about their own affairs. When Eve wanted to ask about the process of meeting and falling in love, it was too late.They never had a quarrel, and San was so calm.

"She's gone," the father stood up with his back against the wall, "let's have a good time."

Uncle Wang disappeared with her mother. Eve was not surprised.She once ran into them hugging each other one night, and the mother bit the quilt and moaned/groaned suppressedly.At that time, I didn't know what it meant, I just thought it was a bad thing.

This matter has always been hanging in Eve's mind, and now that the sharp knife fell, she clearly felt that her father was split in two.Half belongs to the mother, half belongs to the rest of my life.Half are dead, half are lifeless.

I will protect this half, Eve clenched her fists and swore for the first time.

Afterwards, apart from work, Eve was the only one left in his father's world.The resulting sense of happiness made Eve feel guilty.These loves did not belong to her, she could have done something, and her father could have been happier.

How selfish, how powerless yourself.

Later, Eve meets another person who loves her.

Let's talk about love.

Eve in junior high school was unremarkable.Wearing a school uniform for many years, with a single ponytail, sideburns and ears, no bangs.Light eyebrows, medium-sized eyes, a well-regulated nose, and a mouth that just happened to grow in a suitable place.It gives people the feeling, how should I put it, there is no feeling.

A boy spotted this girl who nobody noticed when she didn't talk.

"Hi, are you Eve?"

"Huh? Hmm."

"Your name is really special, I like it special." He fluttered his big eyes, and emphasized the word "like" in his tone, trying to make his words sound sincere and reliable, "My name is Wang Feng, nice to meet you." He showed his right hand, four fingers together, thumb spread, trembling in the air.

Eve stretched out her hand in a daze, even though she didn't like his last name very much.

He started to play with her often, and he always kept the snacks that friends invited him to eat for her, and sometimes brought some preserved fruits and drinks from home that were rarely seen in the local area, so that when Eve saw him during that time, he thought of to these sweet things.Eve isn't a big fan of food, but he likes it.Occasionally, he would watch Eve eat, chewing and swallowing unconsciously in his mouth. When he was discovered, he would scratch the back of his head a few times embarrassedly and say, "It's delicious, hehe." Son, didn’t you eat it just now?” He hiccupped “very cooperatively”…

After getting acquainted with Wang Feng, Eve became much more cheerful, so even if her father's career got on the right track and she spent less time with Eve, Eve didn't think it was a problem.

During this period, he brought a woman back once, and asked Eve if she liked it with a blushing face.Thinking of that gentle and watery woman, she had a lot of emotions churning in her heart but couldn't express it, so she shook her head.

Father began to concentrate on work.

Afterwards, Eve felt that what she did was not very good, but she didn't think about it.At that time, Wang Feng used all the ways he could express his love to build a castle for her.Inside, she couldn't hear other sounds.

She felt more and more clearly that he cared.An inadvertent movement, some details that he may have overlooked, he remembered them all in his heart.For example, once in class, he flew a note and asked her if she was not feeling well or if there was something unhappy.She was having a stomach ache, menacing.But she endured it very well, without frowning, and there was still a smile on the corner of her mouth.I just held my head once and took a deep breath, just once.

She became looking forward to every break between classes, every change of seat, and every time he approached her.The beating heartbeat of the little deer makes the ordinary daily life extremely vivid.

Father came back later and later, sometimes sleeping directly in the company.If it wasn't for an old man who talked about it when he came to the house for dinner, Eve wouldn't even know that his father's business had grown.

"Yihe, don't blame the old man for talking too much. It's too risky for you to invest all the money you earn in this way. There is a lot of people in this area. By the time you realize it, it is often too late." The old man persuaded his father.

"Old Wei, I'm sorry." Father raised his glass, "I know what's going on, it's fine. Come on, do it!"

Before leaving, the old man looked back at Eve, his eyes seemed to say, "Take care of your father."

Until Eve and Wang Feng were admitted to the same high school, nothing the old man worried about happened.Eve's pocket money has increased, and her father has bought a new car.On the night of picking up the car, he drove Eve to the villa where he used to live and said excitedly: "In a few days, Dad will buy it back!" But, mother will not come back, Eve didn't say it.

In the few years from junior high school to high school, Eve has grown into a slim girl.Although he was still wearing a school uniform, no one could ignore the freshness, innocence, and tenacity in his eyebrows.Wang Feng was a little flustered. When he first met her, he was only attracted by her pale eyebrows. That kind of delicate and quiet personality made him feel at ease, and this kind of peace of mind was something he had never felt at home.

Now, she bloomed so beautifully that it shocked him.He felt his ordinaryness very early on. Can he, who is nothing, possess this kind of beauty?He buried his anxiety with a hippie smile, but unexpectedly it sprouted.

Eve was also a little disturbed, and her father often stayed out all night.Every time I met him, I smelled of alcohol.She didn't know what to do, and she felt powerless again.Like a parent's affection, she watched it flourish and wither.She didn't know if the flower needed to be watered, fertilized, dewormed, or out of season.She just watches.

Wang Feng confessed his love at this time, and he called Eve to the tree engraved with the lovers' names.It is said that these couples finally got married and lived happily ever after.He wanted to make a promise to her.

Eve lowered her head, he really liked her, she understood.But apart from this, she didn't know anything about him.She didn't know anything about his past, his family, or what was hidden in his desperate atmosphere when he was in a daze.He didn't say, so she didn't ask.

"Tomorrow, can I give you an answer tomorrow?" She saw the disappointment flashing in his eyes.She can't help it.

"Okay, I'll wait for you." He squeezed out a smile, which was inexplicably similar to the expression when he said it was nice to meet you.

"Go back", she turned and walked back, he followed closely behind, speechless all the way.What they didn't realize at the time was that this was the closest they'd ever been.

She thought a lot before going to bed, and it seemed that she finally figured out why she didn't accept him immediately.If you agree to be together, too many unknown things will happen, and these unknowns scare her.And when she realized that she refused out of fear, she blamed herself for being cowardly and selfish.She decided to agree to him.

pain!Eve struggled to open her eyes. She had a severe headache and was groggy.

Um?What's holding her down?It's so heavy, the body is so heavy, and the eyelids are so heavy.Ah, want to throw up.Ah, it's people, who?What is he doing?Something was sticky, crawling across her neck, across her collarbone, and drawing circles on her chest... Eve wanted to raise her hand to push it away, but found that she had no strength at all.

"Yo, you're awake? That's right, otherwise I wouldn't feel anything like a corpse." What was he talking about?What's the meaning? "Come on, lie down." Ah, it hurts, my lower body hurts.Eve felt herself being turned over and kneeling on the bed, with half of her face sunk in the pillow and half facing the door.She saw an eye in the crack of the door, wide open, shaking up and down...

After waking up again, Eve finally realized what happened, and the picture in her memory made her whole body cold.But why?Why didn't her father come in and save her.Eve looked at the ceiling, unable to stop the tears.Ah, it hurts, my whole body hurts.

After a long time, Eve calmed down, feeling surprisingly calm.Nothing was done, nothing could be done, I asked for it, I deserved it, Eve hinted to herself over and over again, but her hand was suddenly grabbed.

"I'm not you...I'm not human!" Ah, it was the father crying in despair and pain, "They did it on purpose...I, I lost all my money...They beat me, they fed me medicine, they... ...I'm sorry for you I'm sorry for you I'm sorry for you."

He grabbed the ground with his head, and there was a thump.Eve turned over quickly and fell off the bed, wrapped her arms around her father's head in a hurry, and hugged her tightly to her chest, preventing him from hurting her again.

Blood from his father's forehead flowed down Eve's fair chest, "It's okay, it's okay, Xiao Yi will protect Dad, it's okay." Eve said hoarsely.

The father was taken aback when he heard the words, and wept bitterly.

This was the second time Eve saw her father cry, and it was also the last time.

When I woke up the next day, my father was no longer around. There was a prepared breakfast and a note on the table. He said he would come back later, so there was no need to wait.

Eve tried to take a bath, but it was very dirty, no matter how much she scrubbed, it was still dirty, so dirty that it made her sick, it seemed that the stench of saliva had penetrated into her skin, and she couldn't get rid of it, so she gave up.It's already like this, the first time is the same as the ten thousandth time.She doesn't care anymore, dirty is dirty.

If there's anything I can redeem with this body, I'd love to, she thought.

So, when Wang Feng asked her for an answer back at school, she shook her head. "You didn't come to school yesterday, are you avoiding me?" Eve felt his pain, but he didn't.

"Eve, you don't need to do this! No! I can go by myself." So he left without staying for a second.Eve's eyes drooped, she couldn't notice his expression, only saw the back of his clenched fist.Come on, let's end it.None of this would have happened if we hadn't been selfishly greedy for the happiness in front of us.

"sorry."

Some things are just beginning.