whatever you do

Gu Nianchen found a small apartment near the school. It has two bedrooms and one living room. The decoration is very simple, which is very suitable for two people to live in.

The landlord is a young man in his 20s. He said he bought a house and planned to get married, but his girlfriend thought the house was too small, so he broke up in a fit of anger.

"A five-year relationship is not as good as a big house. The house was originally in installments. After we broke up, I bought it all at once with the money I planned to hold a wedding. Any vows to each other are false, and they are all false in front of money and material things."

Gu Nianchen listened quietly to his narration, and slowly looked at the house. The refrigerator, air conditioner, and range hood were all new.

"Young man, I think you are a student, and you are renting with a friend. You see, everything here is complete. If you don't want to eat in the cafeteria, you can cook for yourself. The rent is two thousand two thousand a month, and I don't ask you for more."

Gu Nianchen nodded, the price is indeed very reasonable, it is difficult to find a house at this price in S city. "Tomorrow, Saturday, I'll move in. Sign and pay."

"Oh, I just like how happy you are. I don't need the two hundred, and I go out to restaurants with my friends every month." The landlord is a cheerful Northeasterner, and he gave Gu Nianchen a set of keys, "Add a WeChat account, the house is open." It’s easy to contact me for any questions. You can transfer money to my WeChat every month, and let me know in advance when I can’t live anymore.”

"Do you need my help moving tomorrow? I don't go to work on Saturday."

Gu Nianchen thanked him and said that he didn't have much, so he could do it alone.

"You are so handsome. Many girls in school like you, right? Let me tell you, don't agree. A little girl's heart is more unpredictable than the weather in S City. A good-looking and honest boy like you will suffer the most. gone."

The landlord brother seemed to be chatting endlessly, so Gu Nianchen had no choice but to interrupt him: "I still have something to do at school, so I'll go back first, thank you."

"Little brother, I will see you off."

Gu Nianchen hurriedly said that the school is very close, so there is no need.

"Remember to keep the key well, don't forget to take it with you." He watched Gu Nianchen go away, and muttered, "What a nice guy, but don't meet a girl who hurts his heart."

When Gu Nianchen went back to the dormitory, he didn't see anyone. Friday afternoon was the carnival before the holiday. Those who didn't have classes would go out to relax their minds that had been tortured by study for a week, and those who had classes would paddle for fish with peace of mind.

He silently looked at the place where he had lived for more than two months. He had no feelings, and his relationship with the three roommates was not very good. He wondered if he would miss him after leaving.

In the morning, I sent a WeChat message to the counselor, saying that I wanted to go out to live because I was not used to living in the dormitory. My family had already agreed, and I hope it can be approved.

The counselor didn't say anything, and dealt with it very quickly. After all, they are all adults. Good students are reassuring.

In fact, Gu Nianchen didn't tell Gu Feng about renting a house at all, even if he told his father, he didn't care, and most of the time he didn't bother to talk about it.When he was a child, he suspected that he was not his own, so he ran away from home to find his biological parents.

His home is in a villa area, and the first few times he couldn't find the door to leave the community. He sat on the central square and was dragged back by the family's nanny. Later, he found the door, but the security guard would notify the family every time he saw it.

Gu Feng didn't realize it, in his eyes he didn't exist, and the nanny at home was the source of Gu Nianchen's long nightmares.

The hopelessness of powerlessness, the sadness of one's own insignificance, once tasted, one doesn't want to taste it again, but afterward, one tasted it more than once.

When Wang Chen came back, he saw Gu Nianchen's suitcase, and asked cautiously, "Are you going home? Or going out to live?"

"Go out and live." Gu Nianchen looked at Li Zhuo who came in after him, and pointed to his chair, "This chair is for you, you can step on it hard when you come to visit."

Wang Chen was a little embarrassed: "Isn't it three times? He provoked you again. I apologize for him."

After speaking, he looked at Li Zhuo, Li Zhuo naturally knew what it was three times, "No, I don't know where I messed with him." He shook his head irritably.

"It has nothing to do with him, it's my own problem." Gu Nianchen said, "I've told Director Huang that you are all fine, and he won't ask you why."

"I'm sorry. For the sake of not seeing you often in the future, I apologize to you. I did something wrong, but your attitude towards people is very problematic." Li Zhuo said coldly, "I just can't understand it. Your defiant attitude."

Gu Nianchen was surprised that he would apologize, but he didn't care, he nodded and said, "I accept."

"That's the attitude. Gu Nianchen, what do you care about that can make you angry?" Li Zhuo said helplessly, "You are like a sculpture, a stone, impersonal. You don't care about anything, and you are indifferent to everything. "

Gu Nianchen wants to say that you are wrong, I have many people and things that I care about, I will laugh and cry, I will hope and wait, I will be afraid and hesitate, but he didn’t say anything, and even continued to sort it out as if he didn’t hear it own stuff.Why tell these things to strangers, it's useless to talk.

The next day, Gu Nianchen finished moving his things in two trips. He gave the key to the dormitory uncle, and the uncle took the key and continued to watch his own TV series.

From now on, I am alone again, Gu Nianchen sat on the sofa in his new residence and thought blankly, but he has always been alone.

He wanted to drink some water, but there was no kettle in the kitchen, and the water dispenser was empty.Looks like I need to go to the supermarket later.

When I opened the refrigerator, I thought it was empty, but I saw a row of Coke.That's right, Gu Nianchen vaguely remembered that when he came to see the house yesterday, the landlord put it here. He said he bought a box and gave some to the new tenant on the way.

He picked up a can, pulled the tab open, and there was a sound of gas escaping.He remembered that someone at the train station said "I'll buy you an iced Coke", so he took a sip, it was sweet and a little spicy.It's not very tasty, and I don't feel happy after drinking it.

He remembered that he hated the person who asked him to drink Coke.You've changed, I don't know me anymore, I've changed too, you don't know me at all, what hasn't changed?I'm probably the only one who hates Coke, and our once common preferences are gone.

Gu Nianchen poured the Coke into the sink, watching the reddish-brown liquid slowly flow down, he inexplicably thought of blood flowing out of his body.

"Like the color of blood, it's kind of scary." This is why he doesn't like drinking Coke.What did the other person say?Oh, he said it's not good, it's just not good.

He has been mildly depressed, and his high school teacher gently advised him to see a psychiatrist.Gu Nianchen felt that he was not sick, but he knew that the teacher had good intentions, so he didn't refuse the business card in person, but when he left the office, he threw it into the trash can.

When did it start? He often felt that he was superfluous and that there was no need to live in this world. He no longer remembered.The black cloud in his heart is sometimes big and sometimes small, but it has been a long time since he saw that smiling face when he counted the classes.The two months so far have been one of the few happy and relaxed days for him, but I am afraid that such days will never happen again.

He sighed, looking at the ceiling in a daze, even if it was unnecessary, even if he didn't know why he was alive, he still didn't dare to die easily.Jumping off a building is too ugly, lying on the rails will hinder traffic, cutting your wrists is too painful, drowning is too uncomfortable, and you can’t buy medicine...

He thinks he is ridiculous. You see, you are not even afraid of death, but you are still afraid of so much.Living is so difficult, and even dying is so difficult, so just muddle along like this.

Gu Nianchen felt very uncomfortable when he woke up, and he fell asleep on the sofa just like that.It was already mid-November, and the autumn night was a bit cold. He felt that he had probably caught a cold, his head was dizzy, his nose was stuffy as if he was suffocating, and he wanted to drink some water but remembered that there was no hot water bottle.

He struggled to go out and went to the nearest supermarket to buy thermos bottles and electric kettles, as well as some snacks to satisfy his hunger.Back in the house, I boiled water and turned on the air conditioner because I felt a little cold.

When the water boiled, he also made the bed, drank a large cup of hot water in a hurry, and lay down on the bed.The body is very uncomfortable, every cell in his body is venting his discomfort, Gu Nianchen hopes that tomorrow will be better, he does not want to skip class, although the class is not difficult for him at all.

Ye Shu hasn't seen Gu Nianchen for five days, not since Singles' Day on Wednesday, they are originally two different majors, only a few points of the same class, although the dormitory is very close, but the students in the same building It's hard to meet when you go out at different times, let alone different buildings.

He didn't contact Gu Nianchen in the past five days, and Gu Nianchen didn't contact him either.Fu Zhe and Shi Jiayang also noticed that something was wrong. They hadn't seen Teacher Gu for five days. Fu Zhe was going to have a campus singer rematch next Tuesday night. He secretly sent a message to Gu Nianchen asking him to go to KTV, saying Ye Shu also went, but Gu Nianchen refused.

Of course he lied to Gu Nianchen, Ye Shu also refused.Shi Jiayang asked bluntly if the two of them had a conflict, and Ye Shu said indifferently no.

"How can there be no quarrel among friends? You see, Fu Zhe and I quarrel every day, live together and eat together." Shi Jiayang said carelessly, "Just one meal, please. If not, then two meals If you can't do it twice, just stop. Mr. Gu is a very nice person, don't lose him."

Fu Zhe gave him a supercilious look: "You think that everyone is like you, they only care about food."

He looked at Ye Shu and said, "I don't know what's wrong with you two, but I know that Mr. Gu is really kind to you. He is a person who just does things but doesn't talk."

Ye Shu listened to him without any reaction.

"It was raining once, and you went to [Wang] to work. When you came back, you said that Mr. Gu happened to go to Fallen Street, so you didn't come back drenched. But I saw him go back to the dormitory in the rain from the Three Teachings and change clothes. I went out with the umbrella again."

"Every time we eat together, he always orders your favorite dishes. He always walks outside of you when walking on the road, and..."

"Stop talking." Ye Shu finally interrupted Fu Zhe.He knew, he knew, he even jokingly told Gu Nianchen that if Gu Nianchen was a girl, he would almost suspect that Gu Nianchen was chasing him.

Now he really wants to go back to the past and slap himself. What did he say? If the person he has been looking forward to doesn't know him and laughs at him, he will probably beat him up and never see him again.

I was also wrong on Singles' Day, I obviously forgot about him, but I took all my anger on him and said that I didn't want to see him.You are such a fickle and indifferent person, Ye Shu, will your heart hurt? No, because you have no heart at all! He thought to himself mockingly.

Let’s apologize when we meet tomorrow. It’s okay to bow your head occasionally. If he doesn’t want to say it, I’ll think about it slowly, but I’m afraid I won’t remember it. No, I will.

But Ye Shu didn't see Gu Nianchen the next day.Gu Nianchen skipped class, and the top student Gu Nianchen skipped class for the first time.Ye Shu looked at the empty seat beside him, feeling a little angry, a little lost, and a little worried that he didn't notice.

Gu Nianchen had a dream all night, it was grotesque and messy, he couldn't tell the difference between joy and sorrow, good or bad.

For a while, he dreamed that his grandmother with a kind smile was touching his head and telling stories, and for a while he dreamed that she was lying in the mortuary covered with a white cloth.

One second, I dreamed that the nanny who was still cooking was smiling at him, and the next second I dreamed that she was twisting her arm severely with her hands.Dreamed of Gu Feng's disdainful and indifferent eyes as if looking at something bored, dreamed of classmates avoiding him and walking away from him, dreamed of the business card handed over by the teacher distressed and helpless.

But the child he dreamed about the most was the child with two dimples when he laughed.

Dreamed that he covered himself in front of a bunch of children, dreamed that he picked a bunch of wild flowers on the grass and gave them to himself as a gift, dreamed that he took himself to pick the neighbor’s pomegranates, dreamed that he stood in the tree Make faces at yourself, dream that he is crying and say sorry, dream that he wants to be a good friend for life, dream that he is running ahead and you can’t catch up no matter what, dream that he grows up, dream that he blows Nice song, I dreamed that he said he didn't want to see me...

When Gu Nianchen woke up, he felt that his condition was getting worse. He probably had a fever. When he saw that the pillow was wet, he grinned self-deprecatingly. Is crying without emotion counted?

A cold can be cured without taking medicine, but a fever is a bit troublesome. He has been in poor health since he was a child, and the fever will be difficult to subside.Ordinary people will be fine after taking an injection and taking medicine for two days, but he will have a low-grade fever intermittently.

It seems that I still have to skip class. I have a few points from my father in the morning and biochemistry in the afternoon.I don't know if Ye Shu will notice that he didn't go to class, but he doesn't want to see him, so it's just right.

He is not very clear about his feelings for Ye Shu.The life before meeting Ye Shu was too gloomy, he couldn’t remember clearly, the one-year life in that small village was the best in his life, grandma and Ye Shu were like two lights that broke into his life suddenly , where he felt family affection and friendship.

The only thing he is grateful to Gu Feng is that he sent himself there when he was six years old, but it was Gu Feng who took him away from there, and then he lost his grandmother and Ye Shu, and his life returned to darkness and desolation.

It was a great surprise to reunite with Ye Shu. He was glad that his heart was still beating. Although he didn't remember himself, Gu Nianchen felt that life was full of hope when he looked at him, and felt that nothing was difficult to overcome.

He got up and wanted to get some water to drink, but he fell down before taking two steps. He was very dizzy and his consciousness was drowsy. He remembered that he hadn't eaten much in the past two days.After lying on the ground for a while, he sat up and ordered takeaway with his mobile phone, bought some antipyretics, and then walked to the kitchen step by step.

The author has something to say: Well, I don't know why I wrote it like this, you guys fight, I won't fight back, I promise everything will be fine!

Recently, I have been busy making academic garbage, and now I can finally take a break, so today's double update, am I working hard? !

I went to see my mentor this morning, and he said earnestly that you have to be serious in doing things, and you won't suffer if you do things seriously.

So, no matter what, I will write down earnestly, even if this road is very lonely and not easy!

Finally, I confess that all the little angels who read the article are so cute, I hug you~