Pick up cats anywhere

一

Hao Bai, a single dog who has lived strong for 24 years.

Living a single life as usual, he got off work alone, squeezed into the crowded subway, and walked home alone.Holding the hot siomai in both hands, he silently passed by the couples on the street, walked indifferently through the group of aunts dancing passionately in the square, and quickly walked around to the deserted alley.

The rhythmic songs behind the ear gradually fade away, occasionally mixed with one or two faint car horns.

Dim street lamps, bare trees,

In winter, loneliness seems to come more frequently.

Hao Bai took a bite of the siu mai distractedly.

"Hiss—" Suddenly, a delicate face was wrinkled into a chrysanthemum under the cold wind.

"Pfft ha ha ha ha" a burst of ridicule as rough as a barbell clearly reached Hao Bai's ears.

He stopped abruptly and glanced around.

Hell, there's no one else on this road except him.

Where did the laughter just come from, he was a little hairy.Looking ahead suspiciously, Hao Bai took another step forward.

"Meow~"

Hao Bai:? ? ?

He had never heard such a rippling meow.Hao Bai rubbed his eyes, and there was a small black cat, sitting on the bench by the roadside, hooking its hands at him.Under the light, the black cat's bright eyeballs stared straight at the siu mai in his hand, and the saliva from its mouth was already dripping all over the floor.

Hao Bai held up the siu mai, and the black cat's eyes moved up, Hao Bai put down the siu mai, and the black cat's eyes moved down.He thought it was funny, so he asked the cat, "Do you want to eat this?"

"Meow meow" the black cat nodded.

"Then how about this, let me touch it, and I'll eat it for you, how about it?"

As if understanding Hao Bai's words, the black cat wagged its tail and stood up slowly.It lightly jumped off the bench, walked to his feet, and sat obediently.

Hao Bai has loved this kind of fluffy stuff since he was a child, and he couldn't wait to squat down and want to masturbate.But when his hand was about to touch the shiny black fur, he saw a strange smile on the face of the black cat. It stretched out its round hand, jumped up and slapped Hao Bai hard on the face.

"Touch your uncle!" The black cat held the siu mai in its mouth, and looked at Hao Bai who had fallen on his back with disdain.

"?? Are you a cat?! You, how can you talk?!" Hao Bai covered his face and tremblingly got up from the ground.

"Even if you haven't seen Where are the Fantastic Beasts, haven't you seen Zootopia?!" The black cat bit the siu mai, making its mouth shiny.It pretended to have a deep concave shape, and replied coldly: "Is it rare to be able to talk? Doesn't everyone have two eyes and one mouth, idiot."

After eating the siu mai, the black cat raised its face and rubbed against Hao Bai's pants to wash it.

"Hey, it's so dirty! Why do you need to wipe your mouth?" Hao Bai looked at the horrible oil stains on his pants speechlessly.He had never seen a sow climbing a tree, but he saw a cat playing hooligans.

After all, it was the depths of winter, and a biting cold wind blew over, whizzing straight into the clothes.

The black cat shuddered and sneezed, and said angrily: "What happened these days, the thief is so fucking cold."

The small body swished onto Hao Bai's shoulders, and quickly got into his down jacket to keep warm.The black cat grabbed the white clothes and wiped the snot bubbles on his face, urging: "Quick!! Take me home quickly, I'm going to freeze like an idiot!"

Hao Bai: Huh? ? ?

two

"Why is your house so shabby? It's like a broken hole, the thief is so fucking small."

The black cat walked around the house with light, small steps, and finally jumped onto the sofa and turned into a puddle of cat water. It sighed and said, "It's only a paw that is bigger than the toilet in the park. Forget it, I have to It will be soon."

Listening to the black cat playing tricks along the way, Hao Bai not only got used to the setting that it could talk, but also knew that it probably had a cat disease.

When asked what its name is, it was called "yanzuwu".Ask him to say his Chinese name, and shamelessly replied "Wu Yanzu".Then he asked where it came from, and said that it came from Dongtu Datang... After that, Hao Bai didn't intend to ask where it was going.

Hearing this series of gossip at this moment, Hao Bai rolled his eyes, and he replied hypocritically: "Master, you are so considerate, I wrong you to rest in my poor house."

The black cat waved its paw, signaling Hao Bai not to be polite.

Hao Bai shook the down jacket covered with cat fur in his hands, and said in his heart: "You really think of yourself as a master, if you don't like going back to sleep in the open air, the sky is the bed, the roadside female cat is playing wild. Cannon, wouldn't it be more flattering."

After tidying up his clothes, he looked at the black cat purring and rolling on the sofa, since he was idle anyway, Hao Bai simply sat aside and chatted with the cat casually.

Hao Bai: "Hey, you are a male and a female......Okay, I'm sure......Brother, don't show your pink thing...... "

Cat: "Seeing is believing, don't you people often say that?"

Hao Bai: "...do you have a female cat?"

Cat: "No, I'm too handsome and they don't dare to pick on me, what are you?"

Hao Bai: "......No, how long have you been wandering outside?"

Cat: "I've only wandered around the world for more than a year."

Hao Bai: "Wandering...then have you taken a bath?"

The cat licked its paw and said cheerfully, "Roll over the puddle when you're bored."

"Then you are really good at playing...wait for the puddle, puddle!!" Hao Bai threw down his phone suddenly, rushed over, grabbed the cat by the waist like pulling a loach, ignoring the black cat and crying Shouting to tell my mother to go straight to the bathroom, I didn't forget to hang up the bathroom lock.

"What are you doing! What are you doing!" The black cat was terrified. It huddled in the corner and was secretly nervous. Its two fur paws were tightly attached to its soft belly, and its tail was also huddled behind its small buttocks. up.

The black cat saw Hao Bai approaching with a "Zi Zi" shower in his hand, and shouted at the top of his voice: "I am a young cat from a good family...you, what are you doing, what are you doing? .. .....Don't mess around!!"

Hao Bai coaxed the cat, even though his words were extremely gentle, he couldn't hide the smirk that leaked from the corner of his mouth, "Dear, let my little brother help you take a bath~"

"Ah—" The screams resounded like a pig slaughtered in the night sky of a certain city.

"It's so crispy~" The bald cat, which is like removing make-up after being soaked in water, is swimming slowly in the bathtub, and the weak and boneless tail behind it is floating on the water.

At this moment, Hao Bai, facing the bright red scratches on his face and hands, was kneeling on the ground and scrubbing the floor like a little daughter-in-law. Hearing this, he bared his teeth and squeezed out two words, "Nonsense."

He is the one who suffers, okay?What about those who agreed to catch people but not their faces? !Is it easy for him to scrub the dirty cat clean? !

I took a new towel, packed the bald cat and threw it on the sofa, and then warmed it with a hair dryer. The one-stop service is over.

Hao Bai sent it to play by itself, closed the bathroom door, and took off his half-wet clothes.He looked at himself in the mirror, ignoring the new red marks on his face, his body was still very white.Rubbing my stomach, nothing but meat is meat, and I haven't developed any muscles after two months of push-ups.All in all, it is still a small cabbage body.

Hao Bai quickly took a shower, disinfected the bathtub again and again, and filled the water again, thinking that he could finally take a comfortable bath.He closed his eyes, scooped up a handful of water with both hands and splashed it on his face, warm drops of water rolled down his face one after another.Hao Bai breathed out comfortably, and as soon as he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the shower spraying non-stop.

"Cough, cough—!!!"

Hao Bailian choked several times, finally saw the scene in front of him clearly, rolled his eyes, and passed out.