Late autumn

Gin once asked me if I prefer a white life or a black world?I responded with a laugh.White and black?I never believe that there is still a pure white corner in the world, my life is full of infinite darkness, because God never shines light on me.

I was originally positive, with infinite vision for a bright future.It's not easy to work hard in the entertainment industry, but no matter how hard it is, I never gave up my pursuit of light.But that all changed when I won the Oscar.On the surface, it seemed that the little golden man brought me more happiness and brilliance, but when I faced all the praises and pursuits with the most elegant smile in front of the screen, I felt extremely sad in my heart.

My husband passed away unexpectedly on the day of the award.When I walked off the stage with a trophy on my face, my assistant told me the bad news.My legs suddenly went limp, but I staggered and still stood firm, "Go, go to the hospital."

A few days passed by, I was still immersed in sadness and couldn't extricate myself, he appeared, accompanied me every night, comforted me, brought me out of the darkest days, and then got me.Then he disappeared suddenly, and my nights became cold and long again.After having nightmares every night, I finally compromised with fate, dialed that phone number, and decided to stay by his side.

In this way, I joined the organization.

He is the boss of the organization, so as his favorite person, I have a high status in the organization.I met Gin, another person who changed my life.

He is not an easy character to get along with.When I first admired him, it was probably because of his loneliness. I think we are the same people.The constant assassinations and schemes made me physically and mentally exhausted. In the long cold and dark nights, we kept warm together for countless nights, because we were too lonely, and we always needed someone to accompany us when we walked in the dark.Perhaps fate has changed me too much, and I still find it unbelievable that I, who was positive and passionate about film and television before, can now become such a depraved appearance.Time is cruel, and so is fate.

We were together, but he didn't believe me.In other words, this companionship is only limited to the body, not the mind. Boss doesn't seem to know about our relationship, at least on the surface. Gin doesn't tell me and I don't mention it, we are just partners with a tacit understanding in front of people, as for the occasional ambiguous members of the organization between us, it seems to be commonplace-everyone thinks that I am that kind of woman.

But gradually these things changed, the reason is of course Sherry's arrival.He seems to have a more interested type, which I don't find surprising.There are a lot of women in the organization, and it's not unusual for him to want someone, but to my surprise, Gin seems to have a crush on her.

There are many reasons for me to guess like this. For example, when Gin came to me one night, I could feel the displeasure around him. The reason is that he forced Sherry to kill someone that day. "Why, you who have killed countless people are also touched by such a scene?" I teased with a smile. "There is something different in her eyes." That's all he answered me.

Another example, because of Sherry, Akai Shuichi was arranged into the organization.When I first heard about it, I knew intuitively that this person's background was not simple, and I could naturally feel it based on his years of experience.If it were someone else, he might not even care about it, and let him lead the wolf into the house and then fend for himself.But he waded into this muddy water, so that he was alienated by the boss after Akai was exposed. Of course, there are many other factors, but those are all for later.

But what really convinced me he had feelings for Sherry was that he was willing to injure himself to save her from me. "Gin, what you did just now was very dangerous." Ruthless as you would not sacrifice your own safety to save the lives of irrelevant people.If you are smart, you don't know how to shoot me and I will be reprimanded by the boss.And you did it anyway.After decades of being an assassin, you don't know how to survive in the organization better, that is, to ignore others and just know how to protect yourself wisely.If there is no sentient being, why put yourself in danger?

It's a pity that Sherry doesn't seem to understand this. She hasn't been in the organization for a long time, and she hasn't been involved in the darkness for a long time. She doesn't understand the character and behavior of people created by the darkness. What Gin does seems to her Insignificant, don't know, does he feel worthless?

Then his behavior seemed to intensify. What happened to Whiskey wasn't a big deal, and the way he'd tried to save Sherry wasn't surprising.Seemingly unthreatening, shooting at her actually caused the opponent to confuse himself and successfully transferred the firepower to himself.It's just that the shot she received hit a more dangerous place, near the aorta of the heart.I went to see it, and I don't know if the bullet was embedded in her aorta, but it did hurt the more important surrounding veins, and the blood flow continued.The risk factor of the operation is very high, and it is very likely that she will not be able to get off the operating table. Of course, Boss didn't want Sherry to die. He transferred a chief physician from the United States overnight. It is said that he has rich clinical experience, and it is more likely that the operation will be successful if he performs the operation.Unfortunately, the plane was delayed, and Gin sat silently on the chair beside the hospital bed. Although he was not angry, his heart was still anxious, no matter how good he was at pretending.He called Boss several times, requesting that the existing doctors in the organization perform the operation, or send Sherry to a regular hospital. Boss is naturally not allowed, because the former cannot guarantee the success of the operation, and the latter will expose the existence of the tissue.

"Now, it's up to you to perform this operation. You are only allowed to succeed, and you are not allowed to fail." He sat on a chair and gave instructions to the trembling doctors beside him. His tone was as calm as ever, his voice was neither loud nor angry, but People were horrified when they heard this.

"You are crazy!" I stepped forward to stop, "You have asked the boss two or three times, and the boss has also made it very clear that the doctors in the organization are not allowed to preside over the operation without authorization. You are undoubtedly shooting at the gunpoint by ordering the operation to start now. "

"What's more," I leaned closer to him and whispered, "Now is the time when Rum is proud, and the Boss admires him very much. If you blatantly disobey the Boss' order, you will undoubtedly give up the second position to others. Why take risks at this juncture? The American doctor will arrive tomorrow morning, and she will be fine."

"Is it okay? You and I both know that with the current speed of her bleeding, she can't last for two hours at all. When the American doctor arrives here, the only thing left to do is autopsy."

"Gin, if Rum becomes the second in command in the organization, you will be inferior in the organization. Besides," I lowered my voice again, "maybe this is a trick set by Rum to lure you into the bait."

He was silent for a while, then raised his head, and the unquestionable voice sounded again, and ordered to the doctor who was still in front of the hospital bed to help Sherry not stop the bleeding: "Operate now, immediately. I will bear the risk of surgery, but, if because of If your lack of dedication leads to the failure of the operation..."

Before he finished speaking, the doctor was already frightened and didn't know what to do.

"If you do this, you can only scare him and increase the risk of the operation." I was helpless.

He glanced at me, then turned to look at the doctor, his tone softened a little, "You just have to concentrate on the operation, you don't have to worry about the Boss, I will take care of it."

This made the doctor go back to the bed and start preparing for the operation.

"You should know that what you're doing is destroying the status you've earned with life and death for over 20 years."

"You don't need to meddle in my business." His tone was cold.

The operating room was brightly lit, and it was a sleepless night outside the operating room.Several doctors tried their best to pull Sherry back from the brink of life and death.When I heard the news that she escaped safely, I felt him heaving a sigh of relief with the slightest movement, and then replied calmly, "Well, I see."

Boss's text message broke the tranquility of the morning.I glanced at the screen of his phone.

"You come to my place right now." The few words did not reveal any anger, but made it even more difficult to guess what the Boss was thinking.Everyone knows what he will face on this trip.

He didn't say anything after reading it, but just got up and left.Before leaving, I glanced at me, and I read distrust from that look.Smiling helplessly, I got up, "Since I'm fine, I'll go back first." Then he left the ward first.

No one knew what Boss and Gin said, but later heard that Boss appointed Rum as the second leader of the organization, with a position above Gin, which was expected. Gin was assigned a task by the boss, and if he failed, he would die as an apology.Naturally, the task will not fail, and Gin can handle it with his ability.And the Boss didn't really want his life, but just wanted to give him a warning.But which person in the organization doesn't follow the wind?During that time, Gin's life in the organization probably wouldn't be easy, but he didn't show it.

Vodka came to pick him up that day, and he asked about Sherry's condition, seemingly casually. Vodka cautiously said, "I told her that Boss has something to do with you, so I'm not here." "What did she say?" "She said that she used the same excuse every time she was absent, and she felt bored, and she also said that she overestimated own."

Gin was silent.

A cruel word made the two of them strangers.I thought that with their arrogant personalities, they would never be together again.But Gin seems to have changed, everything about Sherry can make him put down his airs as much as possible, maybe he still can't let go of her in his heart.

Later he killed Akemi Miyano, and Sherry chose her sister between relatives and lovers and betrayed him.Selfishly speaking, Gin may hate Akemi Miyano.Because of her, Sherry never completely put him down in his heart, and he even had some doubts, was it just for the safety of Akemi Miyano that Sherry was with him back then, and used his sincerity in exchange for the safety of his loved ones.For him, maybe he doesn't really understand what love is.In his dictionary, possession is probably love. After Sherry disappeared, Gin became more silent. No one knew what he was thinking. Vodka also complained to me in private. Recently, the eldest brother's temper has become more and more incomprehensible to him.

He hid his heart in a corner where he couldn't find it.And in this story, I looked at all this with the eyes of the most ordinary bystander.

"What I admire most about her is also what I hate most about her," he once said.Yes, you are all stubborn people.

Sherry returned, and the organization never killed her.I didn't expose her true identity when she was young, one is because of the relationship between Yukiko and Kudo Shinichi, they are the only sunshine in my life.The second is probably because of Gin's relationship.I don't want her to come back, and I don't want to watch that man risk his life.

After an accidental incident, I learned the truth of what happened decades ago. In order to get me, Boss designed to kill my husband and make it look like he died by accident, and then took advantage of it to make everything look like I wanted it.How can you not hate?How can I not hate a man who designed to ruin my life and tricked me into letting me stay by his side for so many years?

I was waiting, and pushed the organization to gradually decline. Finally, I waited for the opportunity. I promised the FBI to report the crimes of the organization. The premise was that I would return to the screen as Crispin Yard, and Akai agreed. .But how can this be relieved?Unless I kill that person with my own hands.

I went to his house the night the organization was wiped out, put a gun to his temple, and a bullet killed him.I am very happy, but not happy.Before he died, that person told me that he actually loved me, and it was because of love that he tried every means to get it.It's ridiculous, even if I die, do I have to feel guilty?But I became a devil because of you, how can a devil feel guilty?No, I won't, I won't.

For a few days and nights, Gin and Sherry left and pursued their happiness in another way, and I also returned to the screen as I wished.Before the matter was over, I went to Sherry and told him something she didn't know about Gin and her.I don't want to meddle in their business, but after watching it for a long time, I will feel an inexplicable feeling in my heart. Maybe, I still hope she understands him. Gin is a strong man, but also a vulnerable man.It's just that he hides his weakness in the deepest part of his heart, and no one can find it.It's so lonely, I always need someone to accompany me.

She was silent after listening, not knowing what she was thinking about.I didn't explain anything about Gin to her, and I didn't say good things about Gin in front of her. I was just telling a story. As for her decision, it has nothing to do with me.

She asked me softly: "Why do you want me to know this? You don't want us to be together, do you? Did you tell me this to make me return to him?"

"Asecretmakesawomanwoman." I don't want to answer her questions, because the answers to these questions are evading even myself.

She sighed softly, and then asked me, "What do you plan to do after the organization collapses?"

"It's nothing more than filming, shopping, drinking coffee, and killing time. Time will always pass."

"But your life..."

"So what, when you have lived enough, you will stop living."

"You know, you'll always be that age, you won't grow old."

"What about taking poison? Don't tell me, your parents' medicine can also make the human body invulnerable to all poisons." I smiled.

The sky is full of neon lights, Tokyo is a city that never sleeps.But day and night always come.Life should be as active as day, death should be as quiet as night.But the man-made day in the darkness deprives people of the right to be quiet and peaceful, but it cannot create the activeness of the day.It's just blurring the boundary between day and night like self-deception.

Yes, when life becomes boring and boring, you can choose not to live.People pursue immortality, but who ever thought about the loneliness of time?Let’s continue on like this, there is still a long way to go.

Love and hatred have been entangled for nearly half of my life, and life and death are just a dream for me.