Bite Your Fingertips

Chu Yu lay on the bed, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep.Wrapped tightly in the quilt, closed eyes to contemplate, not only did not fall asleep, but became more and more awake.

It was raining outside the window, with a dense rustling sound.Usually Chu Yu wouldn't notice it, but tonight he found it particularly annoying.

Noisy.

Chu Yu pulled up the quilt and suddenly covered his head.

He remembered the scene of Lu Shi standing up, opening the bedroom door, and letting him go back first, and sleeping by himself tonight, and suddenly grabbed the quilt tightly with his hands.

If I sleep by myself, I sleep by myself. In the past ten years, I have slept by myself.

My heart felt like it was clogged with wet cotton wool, and I felt suffocated and uncomfortable.

He pulled down the quilt again, only his eyes were exposed, staring at the wall.

On the other side of this wall, there is Lu Shi.

Chu Yu himself couldn't figure out what was going on in his heart, so he felt very sad.

He felt that he was probably being hypocritical.

Lu Shi was very alienated and indifferent to others, or he was quick-handed and fierce.

But although Lu Shi didn't say much to him, and didn't reveal much, Chu Yu was sure that Lu Shi really let go of his defenses and barriers, and let him rely on him.

Lu Shi was cold and difficult to understand, but he was really kind to him.

But maybe it was because of this that Chu Yu felt so sad.

Before he could say anything, Lu Shi pushed him out of the dormitory and closed the door.

Lu Shi didn't trust him.

Turning over, Chu Yu changed his posture. Instead of staring at the wall, he stared at Strelitzia japonica by the window, and then found that he couldn't remember how long he hadn't watered, and Lu Shi was taking care of it all.

Turning his gaze to the desk and shelves, everything was neatly packed.

I don't know when it started, but Lu Shi would help him tidy up the paper and pen comic books that he misplaced.

At this time, Chu Yu went back to look around, only to realize that Lu Shi was what it meant to moisten things silently and what it meant to go deep inch by inch quietly.

I have even arrived, and when I sleep, I always want to hold the corner of my clothes when I landed, and there is nothing in my hand, so I feel empty and unaccustomed.

Chu Yu knew that no matter who he was facing, he would subconsciously draw a clear line of boundaries. From the bottom of his heart, he was afraid, afraid that if he trusted someone wholeheartedly and asked for affection from someone, he would not get any response in the end.

Like his mother.

He has always protected himself very well.

But when he landed, his boundary line seemed to be drawn with light smoke, and it was wiped away by a small wind.He even took a step forward on his own initiative and told Lu Shi that you can make a little more progress.

Sell ​​yourself clean.

Thinking about it this way, I'm so angry!

But no matter how angry, it will only take a second or two.

Chu Yu was wronged again - I've sold myself so cleanly, Lu Shi, what the hell do you think of me?

I didn't sleep well all night in a daze, had a series of dreams, woke up, and didn't remember half of the picture.

With a sullen face, Chu Yu changed his clothes, stuffed the warm baby into his pocket, and went to the classroom.

When I went downstairs, I happened to meet Brother Meng.Brother Meng held a glass bottle in his hand, bitter and bitter.

Chu Yu was curious, "What's your expression? Your face is almost wrinkled into a roll."

Brother Meng shook the glass bottle in his hand, "My mother gave it to me, bird's nest. Do you know what bird's nest is? The swallow's saliva. Thinking about it, I'm so nervous. What!"

"Auntie asked you to drink bird's nest for nourishment?" Chu Yu continued to think, "Do you want you to... nourish your yin and nourish your face?"

"Hey, it makes sense! Sure enough, one more person has more IQ!" Brother Meng was awakened, "Xiaohua, it's really possible if you say that!" He looked around, no one he knew, and whispered, "I When I went back this weekend, I was cheated out by my mother and found out that I have someone I like. I thought I would be beaten by my parents, but my mother was so anxious to die."

"What's the hurry?"

"Worried about my looks, if I can't catch up with girls, I will be disgusted. I also said that many girls nowadays don't like my burly and muscular style, and like that kind of handsome boy!"

Brother Meng wondered, "Tell me, is it because of this that my mother let me eat bird's nest for beauty?"

Chu Yu felt that the logic was completely fine.

The two solved the puzzle, and Brother Meng happily finished eating the bird's nest, and then remembered, "Oh, that's not right, Xiaohua, where is God Lu, why didn't you come with you today?"

Chu Yu managed his expression well, and replied naturally, "Why can't you stay away from me?"

"Isn't it strange to me that God Lu is not with you? It's amazing. You and God Lu are almost stuck together, but if you or God Lu is a woman, Lao Ye will have to talk to you."

Chu Yu didn't react, "Talk? What are you talking about?"

"Puppy love!"

Brother Meng sighed, "Oh, I actually really want Lao Ye to talk to me, I want to fall in love early, I want to hold hands, I want to give my first kiss that I have cherished for more than ten years, but I just don't have a chance!"

Chu Yu was a little lost in thought.

Brother Meng was still nagging, "Speaking of which, the girl I liked yesterday asked me to go to the grove. I was worried for a long time, and I did a lot of psychological construction for myself. Unexpectedly, she seriously gave I lectured on derivatives for an hour!"

Brother Meng showed a psychedelic smile again, "But I like her more and more. When she tells me some knowledge points, her voice is so nice!"

Chu Yu was a little restless.

He sat down, the back table was still empty, and Lu Shi didn't come.

Zhang Yueshan was arguing with Li Hua about the solution to the last question of the midterm exam. By the way, he sighed, "I almost didn't finish the question!"

Li Hua replied, "This time the math paper is very difficult. I did it slowly. I was in a hurry to solve the last two questions. I don't know how many points I can get."

Brother Meng heard that they were having a modest conversation among top students again, so he quickly slipped back to his seat.

Chu Yu propped his chin with his hand, and waited for the previous topic to come to an end before asking Zhang Yueshan, "Squad leader, what do you think... How is the relationship between me and Lu Shi?"

"You? We have a good relationship!"

"Then... squad leader, who do you have the best relationship with?"

Zhang Yueshan reached out to pat Li Hua's shoulder, "Of course I'm at the same table! We've heard each other grind their teeth and talk in sleep!"

Li Hua picked up an English paper to write, and lifted Zhang Yueshan's hand in disgust, "Don't make noise, I'm writing a letter to myself!"

Chu Yu asked again, "Then... if one day, you are eating out together, a girl comes to Li Hua asking for her contact information, how do you feel?"

Zhang Yueshan thought about it carefully, "Is that girl pretty?"

"pretty."

"Of course it's brother, hurry up! It's not easy for someone to fall in love with you. I'll help you find things like eighteen tips for chasing girls and fifty tips for dating, and you must memorize them!"

Chu Yu suddenly became confused.

Zhang Yueshan's reaction and thoughts are normal, right?

However, during the barbecue that day, a girl came to find Lu Shi and asked for his contact information. He was relieved when he heard that Lu Shi refused.

Zhang Yueshan was keen, "School beauty, are you in conflict with Lu Shi?"

Chu Yu shook his head, "No."

Zhang Yueshan breathed a sigh of relief, "That's good!"

Lu Shi didn't come until the morning self-study.

Chu Yu frequently looked at the door of the classroom, but no one came in.

Zhang Yueshan came back from the office and told Chu Yu the latest news, "Lu Shen asked for leave."

Chu Yu was startled, "Ask for leave? I... I don't know."

"It probably happened quite suddenly." Zhang Yueshan said in detail, "Lao Ye told me that Lu Shen must have something urgent. He asked for leave overnight at three o'clock in the morning yesterday and left school. Lao Ye was worried that something happened at home. What a big deal, I asked if I wanted to be with you, but Lu Shen didn't say anything and refused."

Under the table, Chu Yu hooked his fingers to the strap of his schoolbag, and asked in a shy voice, "How long have you been here?"

"It seems to have been invited for two days. By the way, the midterm exam papers are almost finished, and the rankings will be ranked at noon today. You don't need to guess. Lu Shen will definitely be the first, but I don't know who will take the second this time."

Chu Yu actually didn't hear what Zhang Yueshan said behind him.Those voices drilled into the ears and couldn't pass through the brain.Holding the strap of his schoolbag with his fingers, he felt empty in his heart.

Lu Shi didn't get off the bus until it was bright.After looking for the address for a long time, I finally arrived at the destination.

In the old community 30 or [-] years ago, the bicycle was parked in the aisle, the ginkgo tree grew tall, and the leaves were about to fall off, leaving only a few leaves on the branches.

Lu Shi climbed the stairs to the third floor, raised his hand, and knocked on the door after a few seconds.

After a while, the door opened, and there was an old lady.She helped her presbyopic glasses and asked Lu Shi, "Are you the one calling?"

Lu Shi nodded, "It's me, sorry to bother you."

The old lady opened the door a little, let Lu Shi come in, and told her, "No need to change your shoes, I'm packing my luggage, the plane in the afternoon is messy everywhere, this place is probably not as clean as the soles of your shoes!"

Lu Shi followed into the door and closed the door with his backhand.

The old lady washed the enamel cup, poured water, and handed it to Lu Shi.

Seeing Lu Shi's gaze fell on the black and white photo frame, he said, "My wife has been away for more than half a year, and my son and daughter immigrated a few years ago. They were worried that the old woman would let me go abroad because I was alone in the country. I couldn't bear it. I'm afraid that if my wife's soul comes back and wanders around this old house, what should I do if she can't find me?

But I fell down a few days ago, but the child was very anxious, I thought about it, I should go, take the old man's photo with me, and treat him as if he was with me. "

Lu Shi listened quietly.

The old lady combed her temples neatly, and she suppressed her emotions, "When you are old, you always like to talk about what you have, what a joke. Are you still studying?"

"Well, high school."

The old lady nodded, "You came here, what do you want to ask me?"

Lu Shi took out a pendant with a photo from his bag, opened it, and there were two photos inside.One is a passport photo, and the other is cut out from nowhere, and the same woman is in it.

"She looks somewhat like you, is she?"

"It's my mother."

Lu Shi asked, "Excuse me, do you have any impression of her?"

The old lady held the pendant and looked carefully through the reading glasses.

After a long time, he said, "If you ask other people, I don't think I have any impression. But I still remember this person."

She recalled, "I remember this girl clearly. My husband and I worked in clinics. At that time, there were not such good conditions, and those who could not go to the hospital after giving birth had to come to us.

The first time I saw her, she came over with a big belly and said she was going to abort the child.At that time, she was eight months pregnant, how to fight?It's too dangerous, if you don't pay attention, you will die.

We asked her, what about your husband?she just cried. "

"and after?"

"Later, the girl left, and came back only two days later. She still told us that she wanted to induce labor. I advised her, you are so beautiful, and the child is born, I don't know how good-looking it is.

But she looked in a bad state of mind, so I thought, there might be some difficulties.In the end, I said, think about it for another night, if you still want to induce labor, come here tomorrow. "

"Early the next morning, she came over. We explained all the possible dangers to her. The girl nodded and lay down on the operating bed. The tears kept flowing, hitting the hair on her temples. wet.

When my husband started to disinfect, she suddenly sat up, hugged her belly and ran outside, crying and shouting, saying no, no, don't hurt her child. "

Lu Shi had a sore throat.

When the old lady spoke, she was full of sighs.

"More than a month later, in the middle of the night, she knocked on the door of the clinic, sweating all over her head. I saw that she was about to give birth, so I quickly helped her in and lay down. She was in severe pain, but The baby just won't come down, poor thing, it hasn't been born until dawn.

I boiled an egg for her, she ate it, took my hand and told me that if something went wrong, she must protect the child. "

The old lady returned the pendant to Lu Shi.

Lu Shi opened his mouth and spoke, but no sound came out.

He subconsciously withdrew his strength, clenched the pendant tightly, and felt the pain from the pricking of his palm, and then said in a hoarse voice, "Is she okay after giving birth?"

"It's pretty good. Although it was tortured during the birth, she didn't suffer much after that. She was holding the baby, crying and laughing, and her smile was really beautiful. In the first few days of her confinement, I went to see her. But, teach her how to put the baby to sleep."

The old lady recalled carefully, "Later... Later, she should have moved away before confinement. I guess it was because of the gossip from the neighbors. You don't know, those people, He is so good at chewing his tongue that he can break a person's spine!"

Chu Yu studied by himself in the evening, and was called by the head teacher, Lao Ye, into the office to talk about his life. The main reason was that his test scores this time had dropped a bit compared to the last time.

English is very competitive, stable in the second place in the grade, and the results of other subjects are quite miserable.

Chu Yu had a good attitude, sat upright, and listened carefully to Lao Ye's chatter until the bell rang for the end of get out of class.Back in the classroom, with an empty schoolbag in hand, Chu Yu slowly squeezed the elevator downstairs and returned to the dormitory.

Passing by Lu Shi's door, he knocked on the door, but there was no sound inside.

Chu Yu lowered his wrist, stood for a while, and went back to his bedroom.

He rarely brought the key.

The rain stopped, but it was wet and cold. Chu Yu stepped on the carpet with bare feet and went to close the window.

Cold air is isolated.

Chu Yu took out his phone and sat on the carpet to play games.

I couldn't help but think of what Lu Shi said yesterday.

Replaying the game again and again in his mind, the more Chu Yu thought about it, the more he felt that Lu Shi did it on purpose.

Let him find out on purpose, let him hear on purpose.

Even if he didn't accidentally press the play button yesterday, Lu Shi will find another chance to play it for him.

Then he told him that he was monitoring Fang Weiyun's phone call.

The character manipulated on the screen died again, and the picture stopped.Chu Yu was about to cut out when the phone rang.

The name displayed on the screen is Lu Shi.

After blinking a few more times, Chu Yu answered the phone when he found that the phone was still ringing, "Hello?"

Passing through the narrow alley and stopping in front of a small door, Chu Yu took a breath——

Lu Shi took him here once to borrow a heavy motorcycle, and he could barely remember the way.

After standing for a while, the door opened, and Lu Shi walked out from inside.

In just one day, Chu Yu felt that Lu Shi... seemed to be different.

Standing where he was, watching the neon lights flickering down from the roof, Chu Yu was inexplicably nervous and shouted, "Lu—"

He was hugged by Lu Shi only halfway through his voice.

Lu Shi was very hot, with a faint smell of alcohol on his body, and his arms were like chains, holding him tightly in his arms.

Chu Yu didn't dare to move, and wanted to ask you what's wrong, but within two seconds, he noticed that Lu Shi's back was trembling slightly under his palm.

Something was sticking to the skin on the side of the neck, wet.

Lu Shi was crying.

In Chu Yu's ear, Lu Shi's voice was hoarse, "She gave birth to me, but I killed her."

she?

Chu Yu boldly guessed that this she should be... Lu Shi's biological mother?

His train of thought was interrupted, and Chu Yu was pushed against the wall behind him by Lu Shi.

The walls were cold and hard, and Chu Yu put on a thick coat when he went out, which acted as a buffer.

He subconsciously shouted, "Lu Shi—"

Lu Shi's eyes were dark, suppressing emotions that others could not understand.

Pinching Chu Yu's chin with his fingers, Lu Shi stubbornly made him look into his eyes.

Lu Shi's eyes were red, but Chu Yu noticed that his eyelashes were soaked with tears and the end of his eyes was wet.

My heart also felt uncomfortable.

As if he was afraid that Chu Yu would refuse or displease him, Lu Shi covered Chu Yu's mouth with his hand, then leaned over, leaned close to Chu Yu's ear, and said in a hoarse voice full of malice,

"Chu Yu, my blood is so dirty, you sucked my blood, and you became dirty with me."