Wang Xin

Mr. Zhiyu:

Hello!I received your letter, and after unfolding the letter, I can feel your deep sadness. Through your letter, your mother's physical condition is deteriorating, and even now even the doctors are beginning to assert the final deadline of life.I can understand your current mood very well. You must be very sad and very afraid of your mother's death.But you must have not followed the instructions in my last letter to you.You are too nervous, your mood swings are very big now, and you start to lose control of your emotions, which is a very bad situation.You can calm down a bit and look at your classmates, family members and other people around you, they must be very nervous when facing you, it is because they are afraid of what you will do in the process of speaking .

The words, listen to my advice, relax, don't let your emotions fluctuate too much, and try to control your pessimism.I think your mother has her own reasons for everything she does now, it's her choice, isn't it?Originally your father was also against giving up treatment, but why did you go to the hospital and talk to your mother and then changed your mind?Is your father not loving your mother?I don't think so, your father loves your mother very much, so he respects all your mother's choices.

I grew up in a hospital, and my father is also a doctor. Every day, different patients and their family members come to my father, praying that my father can let the patients have a longer life.I still remember one afternoon, when the sun was shining brightly, the person who was exposed was so lazy that people didn’t want to move. I came to the office where my father worked, and happened to meet the abbot of a temple who came to see my father for treatment.After reading the host's medical report, his father's expression became very serious, and he politely asked the host if anyone accompanied him. If so, please call the accompanying person in.At this time, the host interrupted what my father was saying. I remember him saying: "I have been studying Buddhism since I was 16 years old, and I was ordained into Buddhism. There is a saying in Buddhism that 'life is death, death is life, dependent origination Destiny, all because of fate', my Buddhist school has the theory of six reincarnations, life and death are continuous, there is no end, if I die now, then I will definitely live in the other five realms except the human realm, I I am not afraid of life and death, because I am still alive."

Although I didn't know what it meant at the time, I still remember it vividly. Looking back now, what the host said was not unreasonable. A person's life is not indefinite. When the time comes, you have to do what you have to do.Just like when we play video games, when it’s time to upgrade, we have to upgrade; when it’s GameOver, we can only GameOver; there’s no way to continue the game after GameOver, and there’s still a chance to save the game, isn’t it?

In my opinion, your mother chose to leave the hospital and no longer receive treatment in order to spend more time with you in her final life.Your mother gave up the opportunity to have five more months if the operation was successful, because she was afraid that she would not even have the opportunity for this one month.Now it seems that what the doctor said is absolutely correct, surgery is risky, if your mother passes away on the operating table, then you will not even have the chance to get along with her for a month.Your father and mother must have talked before your father would agree with your mother's decision.

You must let go of all your negative emotions now, and get along with your mother with a straight mind. You cannot let your mother have regrets in her most likely last life, because this regret, after your mother passed away In the end, it will become your regret. When you grow up, you will not have any chance to make up for this regret. This regret will follow you all your life.

The words of mine, now listen to my advice, try to relax yourself, listen to gentle music, do exercises, let yourself sweat, sleep well, don't think too much, let yourself Be happy in the process of getting along with your mother and spend more time with your mother. Remember that although your mother is no longer in this world, she will definitely come back to see you in some way. Even if you can’t see her, you will definitely feel her presence.Don't be too pessimistic, everyone will have this day, you have to learn to accept, not escape.Cheer up, be strong, and use your upbeat attitude to live with your mother through her final days.

I hope I can feel your relief next time I write.

unknown gentleman

2005. 10, 3

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