[Projectile] You smile at the hope called despair

When he was a child, he was always asked this question by various people.

"Xiao Chuang, what kind of person do you want to be in the future?"

"I want to be hope!"

Because 'he' heard that 'Hope' is the strongest, the most handsome, and the most popular.

There are beings called "symbols of hope" in the world, and they have always brought a lot of hope to the world.And the place where many "symbols of hope" gather is "Hope Peak Academy" - and it is also the place that 'he' has always dreamed of.

There are many top-notch technologies gathered there, which have been solving people's various needs; many people with unique skills have gathered there, showing many "possibilities" that ordinary people can't match.

As long as you go there, you can do a lot of great things, you can become someone admired by others, you can hold your head high in front of others, you can make yourself very popular—of course, the most important thing is to get yourself again A sense of value once gained.

'He' is also a person who can bring laughter and hope to others, and is a person who can be relied on.

Like this, a man.

The little person has been silently looking forward to the ideal self.

At the time, it wasn't a lie because 'he' had been outstanding.

He has achieved excellence in many places—perhaps because of this reason, his parents placed too much expectations on 'him'.

At this time, 'he' is especially favored.Because 'he' is the "hope" for their family to turn around.

They will be proud and proud of him.

'He' has also been doing his best to get these "loves".

However, true genius cannot be achieved only by hard work.

In this way, this "love" will gradually dry up as time goes by.

And he could only watch all this with his eyes helplessly—occasionally in the middle of the night, he would cover himself in the quilt and cry secretly.

==============================

So bad...boring.

Looking at 'him' in the fragments, he smiled coldly.

Love or something, such a boring thing, still praying like this.

- It's disgusting.

Unlike 'him', he is pampered by talent.

He is a genius among geniuses and the hope of a super high school class who has received many expectations.

He is led by the teachers and strictly regulates his behavior, such as facial expressions, tone of voice, movements, and every detail of speaking.

Hope at the super high school level should be what "hope" should be - he is the perfect hope expected by teachers, born for the continuation of "hope" in this world.

This is his existence value and destiny.As for the original owner of this body—as long as the incompetent obeys the fate of the incompetent, he can no longer worry about it.If you don't pray for what you shouldn't have, you won't fall into pain or even despair.

He is the same, as long as he follows the predetermined track, there will be no problems.

'He' can go to the last step, it is his stupidity - of course, if 'he' can see clearly, 'he' will not be his container.

——I can only repeat this idea constantly and mechanically.

Only then can I settle down a bit in the constantly appearing, blank world in my dream.

Although, as Qihai said, he is also like a human being with emotions, and emotions have brought so many wonderful experiences that he even wants to look forward to another possibility.

However, before the future that has been rolling before his eyes but cannot be touched, even if he hides it on weekdays, "a certain emotion" will emerge in the middle of the night, deep in his consciousness.

Several times, over and over again, no matter what, there is no way to stop.

A kingdom of emptiness.

Black and white keys are jumping under his hands.

As ordered, hummed an empty, monotonous tune.

Countless, transparent people passed with their heads bowed.

Scattered everywhere are rusty iron gates engraved with past names.

As time goes by, both the name and the iron gate will eventually disappear into nothingness.

Watching the transparent people passing by, his figure gradually became invisible.

Gradually, even what you hear and see becomes suspicious.

There is no point in speaking or thinking.

Staring is pointless.

Not even alive.

There were chaotic voices pouring out of his chest.

The melody was tainted with an indescribable feeling, slow and frantic, as if the emptiness of the heart had been hollowed out, and it strongly wanted to burst out.

Depressed feelings keep coming.

The bleak, calm tune gradually died down.

Everything is so languid, so languid that it hurts.

Everything is so, meaningless.

boring.

The body is very light, empty, floating off the ground.

A dazed, dead world.

Not that he was left alone in the world.

Rather, this world no longer exists at all.

If you don't pray, if you don't look forward to unreasonable thoughts, you won't be tortured by this endless pain and fear.

This is his destiny, everything is inevitable, the future.

This world will never exist without him.

As long as he follows the path paved by the teacher, he will not lose his strength, and he will not be afraid of being told by Qihai that it is useless or scrapped.

As long as he follows this "legal principle".

Even if all of this is meaningless, because... It is his destiny to protect the "order of hope" in the world.

He overlooked everything, watched everything.

because……?

……

"yes……"

"You, do you really think so...?"

There is no flat, abrupt sound, suddenly echoing in the blank world.

"Since you have to follow your own destiny, you should also understand that an existence like you cannot interact with anyone too much...Why do you always want to find her so much?"

This voice, this voice is...

Who invaded his dream?

impossible.

Talent has already told him that it is impossible for such an unscientific thing to happen.

Who is that?

Wandering in the blank world, he looked around for the source of the sound——

"You...I'm afraid you don't even understand yourself..."

Just like that, in the confusion, he saw for the first time, that pure black shadow—although it was only an outline.

Suddenly appeared in front of my eyes, like a mirror, an existence so similar to myself, yet so different.

As if suddenly realizing the sense of stability of being pulled back to the ground, the suppressed feeling in his chest suddenly turned into a real pain.

He began to realize his 'existence' again.

"Who are you? Why can you say such a thing?"

"..."

"You know me well...you know what it's like for me to always be able to see into the future?"

"..."

"Besides being able to talk without pain... what else can you do?"

"..."

"Please tell me...how to do...you can tell me that only such a future will not cause a huge disaster, will it be the only salvation, will it be the embodiment of 'hope'...but—"

"..."

He couldn't understand the other person's thoughts, he couldn't hear his voice anymore, and it was even difficult to touch him—this made him feel a little at a loss.

What kind of existence is this?

Why can't I even use my talents to understand analysis?

If even talent is useless, what should we do?

Is it—Hinata So?

It's obviously a preparatory subject that can't do anything, why can it give her such an impression... But I, who is so perfect, can't do anything?

Why on earth can she be so valued by her?

Why did she say that it was you who brought her out of such a boring world?

Let me understand a little bit more about you... what, what can't be done by talent.

The other party still didn't answer.

Yes, 'he' is just a fragmented memory, which no longer exists here.

Log the same thing.He will not have his own thinking, so of course he will not have his own answers.

All this is his own voice.

As for that black shadow, it was also made by me...?

Sound too?

While thinking this way, that voice appeared again.

"You really... don't understand yourself. No matter how you explain what you don't understand, you won't be satisfied. Why don't you listen to the voice carefully?"

"—For a long time, the existence that has always been dizzy and constantly troubled by various 'noises'."

███ has been plagued by various "noises" all along.

The "noises" are repeated, high and low, every minute, like tarsal maggots, of all kinds, the only thing in common is that it makes people crazy.

Crazy enough to blow my head off.

I can hear—the voices of the teachers, the voices of the struggle, the voices of those who suffer in the world, the voices of the malicious, the voices of those who are trying to conspire, the voices of those who are not satisfied with me...

I can only say this, I am the hope of the world, and my teachers place high hopes on me. This is also the value and destiny of my existence.

Apart from my talents, I have nothing to rely on... Follow the prescribed trajectory carefully so that I will not go in the wrong direction.

Even if Nanami said it, I am also looking forward to that kind of future——

But my ability will not deceive me... everything will eventually lead to a shattered ending, such a small uncertainty, and everything about her, I...

How do I know if I have discarded my talent and can no longer believe in it? !

How can I be sure of an answer other than what talent can tell me? !

If it seems to be a mistake—

Which is true, tell me, quick...

"Where's your voice... When did you think about it, what kind of future do you want? Even if I can tell you such an answer, do you think so—"

It's all just an illusion... just a time-wasting idle game—

"It's still the same sentence - even if the 'wedge' has been using punishment to stop you from crossing the distance, you still violate the ban repeatedly...Since you must follow your own destiny, you should also understand that an existence like you cannot Has anyone had too much contact with each other...why, you always want to find her so much?"

Warm, soft, food of the world.

Who are you who reached out and gave it to me?

I……

When you are with her, you will temporarily forget these nightmares.

The monotonous world has gradually gained color.

I like to see her happy.

From her happiness, I also understand that I, miss the feeling of smiling so much.

She told me that I, too, can laugh and have feelings.

She said that I am also a human being and have the right to decide my own future...

She wants to know how I feel, wants to know what I like...

No matter what I become, even if I am feared by other people, she has always patiently said that she will definitely be by my side.

In her presence, I couldn't explain my symptoms.

In the eyes of the teachers, those behaviors are crazy-like - she said she likes me like this too.

"Ichi-kun...don't deny yourself like this. A ki-kun who can bring joy to everyone like this, a ki-kun who can be so happy, is a part of a ki-kun...I like this ki-kun very much."

"Of course... I am also very happy that Ichi-kun is happy. I can bring laughter to everyone. Ichi-kun likes himself like this very much, so I laughed... Ichi-kun, we are friends, and we can rest assured. Show this side in front of me."

I... actually...

There is no way... to refuse to... miss her...?

Even if you can tell me this conclusion again... I can't refuse...to get close to her...?

I have always wanted to look forward to...the future with her...

The future where she can realize her own ideas and laugh...

The scenery in the dream changed instantly.

There is her world, the world where she can laugh.

Filled with things that make her happy.

I saw that she was manipulating the drone, happily capturing the appearance of the scenery in the cherry blossom-filled sky.

On the green grass, smiling and wearing a wreath for me.

Holding my hand, running on the grass covered with alfalfa flowers.

A picnic with classmates.

Looking forward to planning the recipe, wanting to move the ingredients with a smile with me.

In the restaurant, try to figure out the psychology of the characters in the script, and bring smiles to the people passing by.

……

All this time, I've been looking at her in the dark, wanting to look at her like this.

Watch her laugh and hold other people's hands.

"So now I am very happy every day. Although I didn't like it at first, but if I change the way, I will find that everyone is a very good person."

"If you see this possibility...you will see a different future, right?"

……

This world may be very boring, but as long as there is her, as long as you think about her, you will see that hopeful 'illusion', and you will want to deny it from the bottom of your heart. What he sees, everyone will be disillusioned The end of the world.

……

The blood-red sky, the ruins and the miasma of corpses everywhere.

A world like a sea of ​​flames.

After struggling several times, she was blocked by countless black shadows, and in the end - the only way out was actually a trap.

It can be expected that she has no way to escape the end of death.

but--

The pain and anxiety flooding in his chest made him rush out with all his strength and hugged her.

Then the two fell into the hell full of spikes together.

The bright red soaked their bodies, but, unexpectedly, he didn't feel terrible.

Although the ending didn't change, he looked at her with indescribable peace of mind and comfort.

"I-did it, Nanami...isn't...very powerful...?"

……

The 'noise' is disturbing.

He had no choice but to think about his own affairs and listen to his own voice.

No matter what others say, this is what he wants to accomplish, what he wants to achieve.

"Yi-kun really has the same mood as me... I'm very happy, not because of whether Yi-kun is doing well or not, but because it's really a wonderful thing to be thought of by others. If you think about it this way, cooking this Things will become very interesting. Yikun is my important friend, and I hope to bring you, Yikun’s smile. With this kind of mood, even if it doesn’t work well, I still want to do it.”

Nanami...

You are so eager to fall in love with this world, and you are also looking forward to this happy world full of smiles...

If it were you...

If I want to keep seeing you...

I……

I think……

I also want to try, to fall in love with this world...

...a happy world full of smiles...is my hope...

As long as there is you... all these monotonous things... will become meaningful...

You'll be thinking of me...I'll be thinking of you too...

That's it... simply...

I want to get closer to you, I want to know you better——

When you suffer setbacks and encounter difficult things, I will be by your side and protect you.

You are my important person--

I have absolutely no way to refuse to think of you... even if, this is something against my fate!

Even if others tell me that this is something that should not be done...

I can't refuse to think about you!

I have no idea……

I……

In an instant, the blank world exploded into pieces.

Bit by bit, quickly scattered in sight.

don't need anything—

No amount of noise, no amount of anticipation, no amount of sin could stop the thought—

I want, I need - you.

As long as I have you, all of this, I...

Her smile clearly appeared in the field of vision...

In the dream, she was everywhere.

!

The pain, like being torn apart, is not in the brain, but echoes in the chest——

This, familiar feeling, seems to be...

It is a memory recorded deep in the body.

It's like being pierced by a sharp thorn, and every time I think about it, the pain is excruciating, and the feeling spreads all over the body. What is it?

I was executed by 'what' because of thinking similar feelings?

Then I, died?

……

"Always lie to yourself... How about being honest about what you really want?"

"Just like that incompetent person, he is also praying for things that should not be prayed for."

"Why, the teachings of the teachers have become noises in your place... That's because this is not your real wish at all, it is not what you want to pursue—"

"No matter how much you ignore it, your true wish will always surface in the depths of your consciousness...you will never be able to forget it..."

"In this way, you, can get to know 'me' well, right?"

……

As time went by, the weather gradually became hotter.

Every night, the dream continues continuously.

The figure of 'him' is gradually becoming visible.

This gave him an illusion—as if what he saw in his dream at night was the real world.

……

Xiaochuang, what kind of person do you want to be in the future?

I want to be...?

Why would you want to be hope?

Why do you want to have talent?

If what you do is really what you want to do, why do you feel so lonely?

Do you care so much about winning or losing?

Who lied to whom?

Influenced by whom?

In the end, which is the real wish?

What kind of existence is 'noise'?

Why do you think that this is your real desire?

……

"It's about my childhood! At that time, I always invited a few friends to the arcade... No matter what the content was, I could play for an afternoon. But..."

"...I don't have time after I go to school. Besides, if I'm caught playing games, I'll be scolded. I'm really envious of Nanami... who can play games freely..."

Although it is said that one can be recognized as a super high school level game player by playing games to No. 1, but if it is not in the top few, wouldn't it be simply not doing business properly?

If it is doomed to fail to achieve even hard work, then what is the point of this kind of "not doing business properly".

Even so...

"Even so, I still can't let go of the game completely... I always want to play in my spare time—"

Playing games is a very happy thing.

Playing games with Qihai is a much happier thing.

Even two people with such disparity in talent will be happy if they coordinate well, and they will pass the level together.

That's why she was so happy... she was obviously so lonely.

When two people play the game, the center of the world is no longer just one of them.

I hope this feeling can be conveyed through the game.

"Qihai, do you want to play another game? Don't let yourself carry the whole battle situation alone, I can do it too. For some levels, I think... two people can discuss better tactics."

……

"Can it warm your heart..."

"That's right, Hinata-kun. Just like we played with Miota-san before, this kind of photo——can really convey that feeling."

Do you want to convey the hope you feel in your heart to others, hope...?

Perhaps, it should be said that Qihai and the others' warm feelings were first conveyed to the recorders of these photos, and then conveyed.

"...Because hope is contagious. Just like you...I have been thinking about my classmates and cherishing this memory...In these photos, everyone is smiling. Unbelievably, I can feel that they are also I really like Nanami."

"...You have already done the 'making everyone friends'."

……

"So... Hinata-kun, now I want to be alone for a while, is that okay?"

Her face was covered with rain, and her tone was cold.

She must... be worried, because of the nine-headed dragon...

Obviously you are working so hard to get to know everyone and become friends with you...

I pray for everyone's happiness and happiness...

but encountered these things...

No...

"I can't do it. Because Nanami like this is always very worrying."

"Qami is a very powerful person, and has become friends with everyone. But it's not good to stretch yourself too tightly, Qihai, after all, she is a girl."

"There's no need to worry about it alone... It's okay to rely on a little...friend...haha."

……

"Qami... I really like games. If you encounter an opponent you can't win no matter what, or a level you can't pass no matter how hard you try, will you... continue to play the game?"

"I've seen Hinata-kun, a game I'm not good at before... I lost badly. I was also depressed at that time...but... I think...whether I can win or not, or whether I can do it or not, I will continue to play... because, I like games."

"Even if everyone hates it, then...?"

"What is Hinata-kun talking about? This kind of fun is my own business...I think it's not worth letting these insignificant things affect your mood. It feels...that is, just do what you want to do Already!"

……

——This is destiny.

Even if I keep paying attention, keep praying.

The next evening.

Sato she...

she……

At that time, I just yelled aimlessly.

Only by yelling can he slightly dispel the feeling of terror that has penetrated into the marrow of his bones.

uneasy feeling.

Powerlessness.

And for what, inexplicable hatred——

Want to reject the world.

this fate.

……

This feeling is wrong.

If it was 'he' who fell into despair and wanted to be useful, and became my raw material, why, would it be such an idea?

"—Do you want to know the truth of all this? You will lose everything, even your existence."

Is it possible?Is this really okay?

A kingdom of emptiness.

Transparent people, although being drawn forward——

They still use their lips to convey their sincere secret words, even if they are as weak as the collision of glass.

At this moment, there is no place for me anymore.

does not exist here.

The name given...this is my destiny...

... If I can take back my name, will I be able to fulfill my promise with her tomorrow?

My existence is lost... Can I, can I rely on her a little bit?

As long as she remembers... this kind of me?

Accept, this me?

My real wish...is...?

……

—You know, it doesn't matter how the story ends, the only thing life guarantees us is death.

— so we better not let that ending take away the light from the story.

In the book I saw, it was said like this.

He hadn't had a chance to see her since he was pushed hard by the teachers.

However, I can't help but think about her.

She had written to him about what would have happened if 'he' was around.

Even though it was 'he', he still wanted to imagine what it would be like to be with her.

Together with her, build sand castles of various shapes on the beach, take her there to pick up shells of various styles, and if you are thirsty, pick a coconut to drink.

She said that the taste was very sweet - although she hadn't tried it, the feeling of being with her must be happy.

I want to weave the shells I collected, make them into necklaces and wear them on each other's bodies, and offer blessings of mutual protection.

Design a beautiful yukata for her, and take her to watch the fireworks in summer.

Accompany her to play various games and meet various people.

Make all kinds of friends.

She likes all kinds of novel ideas very much-one person's power is limited, so she should be taken to find all kinds of novelty things.

Then based on these, bring new ideas and bring joy to her and more people.

When it’s cold, I cook soup in the house and use various methods to dispel the cold. If there is her, there will be many interesting ideas... He will follow her ideas and lead to more interesting places go.

After a while, I will try new decorations.

As soon as there is a new game, take her to clear the level together, and think about how the game should be done to make it more fun.

At Christmas, bring her different surprises.

In the new year, put on a beautiful dress with her and offer New Year's prayers together.

……

This way, you can feel so relaxed and happy just thinking about it.

Such a world that can bring you joy and smile.

I also want to love the whole world deeply.

And, follow your ideals to help more people.

Bring more smiles.

……

"You, like 'him', have the same idea..."

"If you have the same thoughts and desires, how can you not understand 'him' well?"

Together with her... Want to look forward to the future she is looking forward to?

However, my talents tell me...the future is...

"...This is a noise. Why can't you listen carefully to the voice in the depths of your consciousness?"

……

I know.

In this world—

There are many sad things.

Feelings that cannot be conveyed.

Thoughts that cannot be understood.

Broken promise.

However, if it is the world where you exist, I like it.

No matter where you go or what you do—

even abandoned by the whole world——

As long as I have these hands holding each other tightly, I will not be lost.

Because of you, in the deepest place in my heart.

This is my heart, the real wish.