mean love

Flight at two o'clock in the afternoon.

This round-trip long-distance flight, due to the temporary booking and tens of thousands of expenses, after the initial touch last night, Yan Nuo only felt that his heart was bleeding.

Cheng Boyuan always cared only about earning and not spending, and basically had no idea about money. Although the two could be called well-off, they were not particularly rich; Yan Nuo had lived alone since his parents passed away in high school, and was habitually budgeting carefully.

Although he is not stingy or stingy, he still has a basic concept of money. He feels sorry for the tens of thousands of dollars, but Cheng Boyuan, who is sitting opposite, looks cheerful, which makes him feel angry but can't let it out.

"I want to spend more time with you."

Cheng Boyuan said.

Yan Nuo crossed the knife and fork on the dinner plate, took a sip of coffee, the sunlight outside the window was just right, he looked out the window, and was silent for a moment.

"I'll be back next Friday."

"Are you really coming back? You didn't lie to me, did you?"

"...I don't go back where to go."

Cheng Boyuan rolled his eyes with a smile, reached out and rubbed Yan Nuo's head.

Yan Nuo frowned, but did not hide.

Even though he is 32 years old, Yan Nuo is still nostalgic for the tenderness of the palm like an immature boy.And the man in front of him is also 30 years old, he is no longer the school grass of the year, and even the corners of his eyes have a few more lines.

"Honey, I'll wait for you at home."

Before Cheng Boyuan left, Yan Nuo wrapped him up in the newly bought down jacket, calling it the unsold off-the-shelf item at the Outlets.

"Then I'm lucky, and I happen to like this one."

"Ah."

Yan Nuo replied coldly, only urging him to leave quickly.

There were many people at the security checkpoint at the airport, and Cheng Boyuan didn't do too many intimate gestures. He just watched Yan Nuo quietly for a while, and said, "I'll wait for you."

Before Yan Nuo could reply, Cheng Boyuan turned around and left without even turning his head.

Yan Nuo pursed her lips and didn't say a word, watching the person disappear at the entrance.

Yan Nuo remembered that when he was a graduate student, Cheng Boyuan had to go home every two weeks. He sent Cheng Boyuan to the station, but he also left without looking back.

"I'm afraid that if I turn around, I will miss you."

"And I'll be back soon and won't keep you waiting. So don't say goodbye to me,"

Those were the love words said by the young Cheng Boyuan holding his face. He hadn't experienced the emotion of separation. They hadn't been separated for a long time after they were together, and even if they were on occasional business trips, they basically kept making video calls every day.

Only today, Yan Nuo suddenly felt a sense of loss.

Maybe I should just reply to wait for me to go home on Friday...

I have to wait until Friday to go home...

Maybe it was because of the romantic reunion in a foreign country, or the unfulfilled things last night, he always felt that his heart was blocked, as if there were inexplicable emotions about to overflow, but on the other side of the balance in his heart, after yesterday's emotion dissipated, Those things that were entangled this month came back to my mind.

He sighed and turned to leave. He still has an appointment with his old classmate You Ye for a while. Fortunately, he "exercised" a little last night and finally slept through the night. Otherwise, the insomnia all night made him feel like he was about to die suddenly.

Yan Nuo didn't see the head protruding from the frosted glass of the security check, just like he didn't pay attention to every parting in the past, Cheng Boyuan always looked back at him secretly.

Even knowing that we will meet again soon, Cheng Boyuan is still reluctant.

For so many years, Yan Nuo was the only part of him that he couldn't let go of.

Yan Nuo and You Ye met at a Chinese restaurant, and You Ye yelled that he hadn't eaten Chinese food for a long time, so he ordered fish-flavored shredded pork, twice-cooked pork, shiitake mushrooms, vermicelli stewed with mushrooms, and winter melon pork ribs soup.

I haven't seen you for many years, and You Ye doesn't know each other. From all kinds of gossip at school to the bad weather in country C; in fact, Yan Nuo and You Ye are not very close, but in that dark period, You Ye gave Yan Nuo gave some friendly comfort, so Yan Nuo felt a little closeness to this person from the bottom of his heart, so he agreed to meet him in a foreign country.

At that time, Yan Nuo was exposed to homosexuality in school because his classmates reported to the department to change dormitories. Although sexual orientation is private and homosexuality is not against the law, this incident caused a wave of disturbance in the department at the time. .

People always like to discuss differences, some say it is unacceptable, some say that sexual orientation is a personal choice, and there are even rotten girls who say that the same sex is true love; center of discussion.

Whether it's slandering or supporting him, no one ever thought that just taking other people's privacy into public and discussing it in public is enough to hurt people.

That period of time was the most painful period for Yan Nuo except for his parents' accident.In order to reduce public opinion, he had to try to avoid meeting his boyfriend Li Xiaoran as much as possible, and boys from the same department who could talk a few words all detoured when they saw him.

During that time, besides Cheng Boyuan, You Ye and Xiao Qiao were by his side.

Cheng Boyuan's motive is obvious, as for You Ye's motive, it is entirely out of friendliness to the same kind.

You Ye and Xiao Qiao are another couple in the department. They didn't disclose their relationship until they were about to graduate, and they went to country C to continue their studies together. Country C is an early country that legalized same-sex marriage, and their background is also convenient for applying for skilled immigrants.

Back then, You Ye excitedly pulled Yan Nuo and said that when You Ye and Xiao Qiao got married, they would be invited to country C to watch the ceremony.

Cheng Boyuan smiled and said, okay, I remember it will be autumn, and Yan Nuo and I will stop by to see the maple leaves.

Over the years, the maple leaves turned red and green again, but Yan Nuo never received the wedding invitation.

The topic turned back to whether a certain lecturer had a second child recently, Yan Nuo finally couldn't hold back his doubts.

"You Ye, where is Xiao Qiao? Why don't you ask him to come with you today?"

You Ye picked up a chopstick of fish-flavored shredded pork for himself, and said flatly, "We broke up."

"..."

Yan Nuo and Xiao Qiao didn't know each other very well, and they hadn't been in touch since graduation. In his impression, Xiao Qiao was a shy boy who always followed behind You Ye timidly; Xiao Qiao didn't like to talk to strangers. Ye's eyes were always bright.

"What's your expression? What? Are you imagining some scumbag plot?"

"No," Yan Nuo shook his head, "I just feel a little emotional."

You Ye took out his mobile phone, switched to the photo album, and handed it to Yan Nuo.In the photo is You Ye, and another blond man, standing in front of a white villa, and there is a golden hair with smooth hair sitting at You Ye's feet.

"This is my current lover, Steven. We have registered for marriage; the house in the back was bought with a loan. Let me tell you, the house price in T city is really not expensive, much cheaper than in city A, and it has freehold property rights. .It’s just that the labor in country C is too expensive. Fuck, let me tell you, most of the furniture in this room is installed by ourselves, and I painted the paint layer by layer by myself..."

"...The dog's name is Alexandra, and the Chinese name is Wangcai. It was adopted by the rescue center..."

"...Steven is not in our industry, he is in the media industry. It's really interlaced. Sometimes it's interesting to hear all kinds of gossip and unspoken rules in their industry. By the way, you and your old Cheng have the same major for so many years Are you not tired..."

"...You ask how old he is? Oh, Steven is one year older than me...Huh? You ask how old Wangcai is? Haha, he is only one year old this year, and he is still a kid..."

"...I haven't planned to be a surrogate for the past two years. Let's see when the time comes. Anyway, I'm not in a hurry. The house still has many years of loans..."

The trivial matters of life make up You Ye's five-year life that Yan Nuo doesn't understand.

"Bless you," Yan Nuo raised his teacup, "You look very happy."

Although the white villa, the golden retriever, and the wedding in country C were all Xiao Qiao's dreams.

As if seeing through what Yan Nuo was thinking, You Ye smiled, clinked glasses and took a sip of chrysanthemum tea, and said bluntly, "Don't you still think I'm a scumbag? Today's life is what Xiao Qiao dreamed of in the past .”

"...I just think you two had a good relationship."

"Hey, in this lifetime," You Ye shook his head, put down his teacup, and the smile on the corner of his mouth gradually turned bitter, "Who can grow old with the person he loves the most? Isn't that what love is all about? There's no need to love to death , as long as everyone has a good time.”

"I have lived to this age, and there will always be many problems in reality, don't you think?"

Yan Nuo nodded.

He doesn't intend to comment too much on other people's feelings. As a bystander, he only participated in the clips of these two people many years ago. As You Ye said, the relationship between adults will encounter many practical problems. can solve everything.

You Ye took a few deep breaths, feeling a little irritable. After confirming with the proprietress that he could smoke, he took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and handed one to Yan Nuo. He took a deep breath.

The smoke spread in the space between the two, it was already late, and the diners around had already left in a hurry, You Ye stared at the smoke in a daze, and then took the initiative to break the silent air.

"Aren't you the one who understands this the most?"

Yan Nuo looked up suspiciously.

"Yan Nuo, we are the same kind of people. We can't be with the one we love the most. Life has to go on. There is nothing fair or unfair. Steven knows everything about me and Xiao Qiao, and he also knows that I can't completely forget Xiao Qiao. Joe——I'm not saying I don't have feelings for Steven, looking for a spare tire, etc. In fact, I like him very much. The other person poured all their affection into it."

"Just like your old Cheng knows you and your ex