the depths of that autumn

I'm a web author, let's put it this way.

I haven't written any popular or famous works. I only write what I want to write or like. Most people don't seem to like it. No wonder, after all, I am not a professional writer, and I don't have that smart writing.

Or in the world of oneself, it is too absurd and strange for no one to understand.

My friends and some acquaintances thought I was a person out of touch with reality, and they gradually lost contact with me.They don't know that I'm actually a realistic person, but I just don't have the ability to realize what I want in reality.

I quit my job because I was not a person who could be restrained and wronged; I moved into the mountains alone because I was not a person who is good at communication, and being away from the crowd can make me feel at ease.

My friend said, what is the use of writing these things?Who still reads books now!In the economy and society, everyone is too busy making money to support themselves, who has the leisure to read a book in peace?

I am noncommittal, people's thinking, after all, is different.

I am satisfied if a website signs a contract with me; I am satisfied if someone is willing to read my book.Although the dream you cherish cannot be realized, you will not abandon it, because it will always be there, occupy a place, and become a part of you, it doesn't matter whether you give up or not.

My unrealistic part is that I know that it is an impossible dream, but I still cherish and hope; but my real part is that I clearly know that it is impossible to realize.

So I live very freely, have dreams, and are not attached.

If I get it, I'm lucky; if I don't, it's my life.

But the real life is that I need money to live, so I live very poorly.

The moment I resigned, I was called an idiot by everyone I knew, except Lin Xi.Lin Xi is one of the reasons why I feel that there is still hope in life. She is the only friend who understands and supports me.We grew up together, her temperament is similar to mine, if she was alone like me, she might have resigned before me...

When Lin Xi graduated from university, for the sake of her parents, she willingly returned to this small county to become an English teacher. She worked as an English teacher for eight years. Even so, her spirituality has not been worn away by this life, she is still like me, stubbornly fighting in this world...

They said, if you want to publish a book, you should buy it out first, and stop taking yourself so seriously!

What they don't know is that it's not easy to buy out.The editor in charge said, sorry, we only buy out high-quality goods.

Boutique?I can't write it.

Am I the kind of person with big eyes and low hands?probably.At least now I am not satisfied with the status quo, but I have no ability to change the status quo.A person who doesn't know how to be grateful, why should he hope that life will favor you?So the life I live now is what I asked for.

I will like a person very much, but I don't want to meet or even be with him, because I know clearly that I am not worthy of him.In other words, he deserves better.

To like it is already beautiful.

You will thank God for such a person to appear and make you like it.Thinking of him, your suffering will fade...you will laugh...your heart will warm...your hostility will disappear...you will feel that everything is worth it...

Lin Xi cried again. On the phone, I heard her sobbing, and my eyes were red...

Her voice is so helpless, I really want to say the phrase "resign", but I know she won't, because she is a filial child.

An hour after hanging up the phone, she knocked on my door...

I opened the door and saw her carrying two big bags of things, and said as she walked in, "I'll make you something delicious..."

I closed the door and followed her to the kitchen: "What did you buy?"

She said: "You don't like to go out. I bought some ingredients and some daily necessities. Let me know when you run out. I will bring you convenience from the city."

I frowned slightly: "What are you spending money indiscriminately, I will buy my things myself..."

"It's more convenient for me to have a car!" Lin Xi always deliberately avoids those sensitive words, because she and I are both arrogant people, and financial assistance is something she thinks will hurt my self-esteem.

But how can my relationship with her be separated by these worldly things, so I said: "You don't need money for the mortgage and car loan! You are not allowed to buy things for me in the future, I will not die of hunger."

"Aren't there my parents too! The three of us are not tired together!"

"Didn't your father retire?"

"Even if you retire, you still get a retirement salary!" As she spoke, she didn't stop working, and she never dared to look me in the eye...

I am speechless for a while...

She looked up at me: "What are you doing standing there? If you finish typing, come and help me, and if you don't finish typing, go and type! Don't be lazy there!"

I sighed helplessly and went to help her...

She said, "How about the submission of the new novel?"

I shook my head.

She changed the subject: "This weekend, I won't go back tonight."

"Have you talked to your parents?"

"Well, they know I'll sleep with you tonight."

I nodded.

We were chatting about the inevitable problems that come with age, and I said, "Are your parents still urging you to get married?"

She smiled and said, "I've been so urged that I don't want to urge you anymore."

I smiled helplessly.

She said: "The current parents are the kind who forbid you to fall in love early, but hope that someone will marry you as soon as you graduate! What a wonderful idea!"

I deliberately sneered, "Sister, you have graduated eight years ago!"

"Hate!" She couldn't help laughing.

Our smiles carry the bleakness of helplessness in reality...

We are all people in this world, step by step.He is also a person who would rather lack than abuse in this world.