[Full-time] Another way to become a god

? After being honest with Happy and everyone, the deepest haze that had been pressing on Luo Hua's heart completely disappeared and became a thing of the past; indeed, the hurt that was once unforgettable had a certain impact on her psychology, like a ticking time bomb. One day it will explode, anxious, worrying about gains and losses, and the subconscious inner world is extremely insecure.

If someone is willing to extend a helping hand to her and treat her with kindness, she will go out with the most sincere side without hesitation.

It is true that being unable to control psychological problems is an immature professional performance, but from Luo Hua's point of view, the more you care about her, the less calm you will be. It is not easy for Ye Xiu to forgive her now, and she also needs to work hard to adjust herself.

The matter of my own team was resolved, and there was still a big Buddha who did not appease.

A guy like Han Wenqing who is strict with himself will definitely lose his temper in the face of her repeated mood swings.After the press conference, she directly turned on the mute and did not answer the phone to avoid getting in trouble.She knew that Han Wenqing would definitely scold her - from the text message he sent her, it could be seen that he had a bit of hatred for iron and steel.

After thinking for a long time, Luo Hua made a phone call after returning to her room. It was already 1 o'clock in the middle of the night, and she didn't know if Han Wen was asleep or not.

As soon as it rang, it was picked up over there.

"Hey?"

"……it's me."

"I know." Han Wenqing said, his tone was always cold.

Luo Hua's heart skipped a beat, and she couldn't help but soften her voice: "Have you returned to Q City?"

"Just arrived." Han Wenqing replied, "I'll wait for you to call me back."

"Ahaha, I just talked with Ye Xiu and the others. I made a deep review of today's mistakes——sorry..."

"You don't need to apologize. You never need to apologize." Han Wenqing interrupted her resolutely, and said softly, "Lin Jingyan is right. You have done so well that everyone always ignores one thing. You will too. Mistake! You are not a machine, emotional fluctuations are natural, and there is no need for an apology."

In normal times, Han Wenqing would definitely point out this matter and scold him. If he made a major mistake on the spot, he didn't make any backup adjustments, and just messed up on the spot. This is not the behavior that a mature player should have at all.Anger flared up all of a sudden, but seeing Luo Hua bow her head in apology in front of the public, Han Wenqing felt a faint pain in her heart. In fact, the pressure and situation she was under were much more intense and difficult than he imagined. .

Why can't I be more tolerant to her?Why can't I understand her more?

She is just a little girl who has been in the e-sports circle since she was a child. Han Ruohui handles the world's sophistication, and her own thoughts are very simple. Whoever treats her well will be heart-to-heart. , sharp and sensitive, doing things with passion, the superficially unrestrained and indifferent personality hides an extremely fragile and soft heart, and the proud shell wraps an extremely restless heart.

He didn't check her follow-up psychological report, but the psychiatrist told him one thing.

"Luo Hua didn't tell the truth. She has a hurdle in her heart, and no one can help her get out of it except herself."

After Han Wenqing heard this, he smoked cigarettes all night for the first time ever. He found that he seemed to be too decisive in dealing with Luo Hua. He lost his temper, and let him often not contact... Every time he called her after finishing his work, Luo Hua's tone on the other end was full of expectation and a little bit of complaint, and even his emotions were perfectly hidden.

For three years, she seldom made noises, seldom lost her temper, and the occasional mischief would end in coquettish begging for mercy.

She gave him all her love, and no matter how much he went too far, she chose to forgive.

With such love from Chicheng, he was full of excitement but secretly scolded himself as an asshole.

"Luo Hua, after all this, I'm slowly trying to understand something." Han Wenqing sat on the balcony of the dormitory, lit a cigarette, listened to the girl on the phone breathing evenly, and said silently: "I should say I'm sorry. It should be me."

"Ah? Why?" Luo Hua was very surprised.

"I treated you very badly," Han Wenqing said.

Luo Hua denied it again and again, looking very excited: "No, no, brother Han, you are very good to me, don't underestimate yourself. I admit that sometimes I will be a little angry if you ignore me when you are busy, but I understand that. It's because you can't separate yourself, I'm also the vice captain of the team, so I know how many things I have to worry about, not to mention that Tyranny is still a wealthy team—"

"I always love to quarrel with you." Han Wenqing said helplessly.

Luo Hua was taken aback, and said in amazement: "Isn't that a reprimand from love? Hey, I said it too, and only I can understand the meaning behind what you said, so Brother Han, don't blame yourself, and don't feel guilty. It seems to me that sometimes you scold me because I don’t do well, and you want me to be better, so you have to speak out. As the saying goes, a strict teacher produces a good student! I can accept the good intention, but I don’t care about the process. And isn't that your own personality... I still find it strange that you suddenly treat me like a spring breeze."

Han Wenqing laughed: "Dare you still want me to scold you often?"

"That's not necessarily true, though... Occasionally I'll be a little scared, but I know you love me, so I'll be fine if I'm afraid for a while longer." Luo Hua said it as a matter of course.

Han Wenqing didn't know what to say for a while, he was moved and distressed at the same time.

After a long time, he asked softly: "Dr. Zhang told me something..." He hesitated, "She said you didn't tell her the truth."

He was a little concerned about what the thing that was on Luo Hua's heart was.

Luo Hua was silent for a while before saying, "What a coincidence."

"what?"

"I just finished talking to Ye Xiu and the others today, and now I'm finally going to explain it to you." Luo Hua had to admire fate, maybe it was like this, when something broke out, it couldn't be hidden anymore.

Fortunately, she was already mentally prepared.

"I didn't say it before because it was definitely a shadow of my life. If I could forget it, I would wish to lose my memory." Luo Hua took a deep breath and talked about that experience again. Say it out, and the breathless darkness in my heart will dissipate.

There was no sound from over there, Luo Hua finished speaking lightly, and suddenly there was a 'bang' from the other end of the phone.

"Brother Han!!" Luo Hua was shocked. "What’s wrong with you?"

"It's okay, the bed collapsed."

"Huh?" Lie a ghost.

It was only then that Han Wenqing's voice came, hoarse and sour, with a hint of unwillingness: "Why didn't you say it?"

It was this sentence again, Luo Hua was helpless: "What do you want me to say? Tell you, I was bullied and almost raped before. I am miserable. Come and sympathize with me? Please, that is the last thing I want to mention. I am still a girl, shame enough, do I use this matter to gain sympathy? I am not saying what I want to do, but because my entire career has been greatly affected by this matter, and I can only take a step forward if I speak out and face it. This circle will not be affected, the past is the past.”

"The past is indeed in the past, but I fucking think I'm just a bastard!" Han Wenqing said hoarsely, almost red-eyed.

"……Oh shit!"

Can't tell what it's like, Luo Hua's heart twitched, sweet, sour, and yearning surged: "So don't break up again, leave something, okay? I know you want me to face it Race, I'll do it!"

"I know, it's my fault." Han Wenqing said in a muffled voice, with a choked tone: "I won't say these words again, I'm sorry, I love you very much, I will never mention breaking up, sorry—— Really, Luo Hua, I'm really sorry..."

Han Wenqing was almost incoherent, and seemed greatly irritated.

Luo Hua quickly called him: "Brother Han! I don't need your apology!" Did she do something wrong?

"I just don't know how to treat you!" Han Wenqing growled like a panicked and confused lion: "If I could go back in time, I would definitely kill those bastards."

He wanted to curse, to fight, to vent his anger and suffocating emotions in his chest. There had never been such a moment when he felt that games were harmful!

Han Wenqing who goes forward bravely and doesn't know what fear is, Han Wenqing who doesn't know how to look back and only knows how to move forward, Han Wenqing who has persisted in chasing his dream for ten years, never imagined that when he was fighting for the championship, there was a girl who had to suffer Threats and insults from others, playing the game cautiously, low-key but still proud to advance for the dream.

There are many dirty things in the more and more standardized e-sports circle, but none of them can make Han Wenqing have the urge to kill people. What kind of feeling is that... Han Wenqing recalled the uneven marks when he stroked Luohua's arm, She explained that it was accidentally burned before, but the truth!After all, that group of jealous and ugly rebellious teenagers vented unwillingly, proving their strength with hot cigarette butts!Not to mention a deeper insult...

Hold!As calm and stable as Han Wenqing, it is difficult to calm down at this time.

This group of teenagers chasing their dreams has a principle of seeing through fame and fortune. It is true that many players come for money, but more of them join this rank because of love. Countless people give up, countless people leave, and stick to the professional circle A large part of people have abandoned the so-called money and interests. What they are chasing is the value and honor of the champion.

Likes, loves, dreams, what price do you need to pay for these illusory worlds?For Luo Hua, what kind of torture is it for her to like something like life accompanied by hurt?

She has come to this point without saying a word, but she still needs to be afraid of other people's eyes and accusations, and her inferiority complex is buried in her personality. Such a long period of psychological treatment has shrunk away the heavy fear on her surface, and about her The black mist in the depths of her heart really is that no one else can help except Luo Hua herself.

"Don't be angry, I don't regret it at all, really." Luo Hua hurriedly comforted Han Wenqing, joking, and she didn't want to affect his emotions on the spot in a few days before the competition, and it's nothing to face up to some things: "It's okay It’s also bad, it’s because of the pressure from these people that I was able to grit my teeth and get to where I am now, if I didn’t put in ten times more effort than others at that time, how could I still stand on the field now?”

"If there is a loss, there is a gain. I cared too much before, and it is because of these people's' spurs' that I can continue to maintain my love and go on. It is also because of those things before that I can meet you. Don't be angry, Mr. Han. If I didn't have the motivation before, I wouldn't be able to achieve what I am today, thank our enemies, they have created the best of us today."

After Luo Hua finished speaking, a relieved smile appeared on her face. She wondered if Han Wenqing could hear her relaxed mood, but at this time, she didn't want Han Wenqing to bear the heavy shackles before.

"I understand." Han Wenqing finally calmed down, and his voice returned to its usual calm and deep voice: "Luo Hua, don't be afraid, I will always be by your side, no matter what happens, as long as you need me, I will definitely come With you, forever, this lifetime!"

I don't know if the truth is too exciting or the quiet atmosphere of the night is too intoxicating.

Luo Hua felt a little funny listening to Han Wenqing's categorical promise.

"Yes, yes, I said Brother Han, it's rare that we talked on the phone for almost an hour, and it's been almost half an hour after listening to your confession..."

"Nonsense." Han Wenqing said, "This is not a confession, but a promise."

"Is there a difference?"

"Confession is a momentary thing, and a promise is a lifetime thing. I can't guarantee that love will last forever, but I can guarantee that the promise will take effect forever." Han Wenqing said straightforwardly that people don't know whether to cry or laugh, But he said it very sincerely, with a clear distinction between love and hate, bold and domineering: "Love will eventually turn into family affection. I can't control my heart, but I can control the timeliness of promises. Luo Hua, until today, I can truly face the truth." You say this-"

"You go on your way, and I will always be by your side."

Whether you lose or win, move forward according to what you want in your heart, put aside your worries and fears, because at least someone is with you behind you.

This is a guardian promise from a man.

Luo Hua's heart warmed, and she suddenly felt that she was stupid!

In fact, she has always been very lucky and happy, and her fear of inferiority is completely mediocre.

Regardless of the darkness in the past, now she has lovers, friends, parents, and dreams. Everything is real and within reach. Compared with the unbearable memories of the past, the past is simply not worth mentioning ;but she kept zooming in and zooming in, she was cautious and terrified, and she kept accumulating dark clouds that were suppressed in her heart.

Then worry about when it will explode, smashing into pieces.

Bombs never existed, and her world was always full of sunshine, but the windows were opened too late, and she didn't notice that it was already raining and sunny.