broken sun

The fireworks above the head are brilliant and grand.

The last ray of sparkling silver fire fell from the sky and landed in the brightly lit city, lighting up the happiness and joy in the world at this moment.

The quiet crowd around started to cheer, discussing with their companions the magnificent scene just captured and what wishes they made, all with smiles on their faces.

People who come here every year are like this.

The noisy and fiery atmosphere continued to spread, and it seemed to be able to infect everyone's heart.

Qi Nian didn't move for a long time, he was a little dazed, he didn't know if he was squeezed by the people behind him, or because the cold wind blowing from the river was too strong, so he stood there and looked at it absent-mindedly, his pupils merged with the pitch-black sky.

After a long time, he turned around and walked back along the crowded crowd.

Amidst bumps and bumps, the muted cell phone in his pocket suddenly vibrated twice, Qi Nian put his cold hands into his pockets, put his shoulders all the way, and finally fled to the side of the road where the air is smooth.He didn't know what to expect, so he took out his phone, hesitated before clicking on the text message he just sent.

Qi Nian graduated from graduate school last year, and has just returned to China for two months now. Few people know the new domestic mobile phone number, so when he looked down, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Sure enough, the text message was sent by Qi Wenzhi, the content was very simple, just a New Year's greeting from the elders.

Even though Qi Wenzhi sends it every year, Qi Nian still looked at the screen repeatedly, moved his fingers slowly, and took a long time to press the send button.

[Happy New Year, Dad. 】

In the past six years, the number of times Qi Nian has seen Qi Wenzhi is still very small.

Six years ago, after Qi Wenzhi brought him to Vancouver, he didn't stay for a long time, maybe a few days or a week.

Qi Nian knew that his father still had a lot of things to deal with when he returned home, and the biggest one was about himself.

Before Qi Wenzhi left, he had a brief conversation with Qi Nian, his attitude was calm and he didn't blame him, but he avoided talking about Gu Saming.And every sentence made his heart sink a little bit, declaring that there was no room for maneuver.

It didn't take long for him to live in a medium-sized apartment. The apartment was compactly furnished and warm in color. You could see the lush green plants on the window sill when you pushed the window.The tearful woman he had seen outside the hospital had become his aunt who took care of his daily life.Auntie was very kind to him, even very kind, with good food, clothing and daily necessities, and asked about his health in the morning and evening.

And Qi Nian accepted the changes in his life silently, he didn't want to go out unless necessary, and his emotional ups and downs gradually calmed down, neither crying nor laughing.

Only once in a while, when he was awake for a short time, Qi Nian realized that the illusion of another life was not an illusion. Even though his heart was so stuffy and aching that it was numb, it was still really hurting.

With the start of school in September, life has only slightly improved.

Even if he does not take the initiative to socialize, Qi Nian has to obey the arrangement and participate in the enthusiastic classmates, as well as the group reports, papers and various activities that must be completed after the heavy academic courses.But he has gradually been unanimously recognized by everyone, including the rigorous and serious professors, for his outstanding but extremely low-key performance.

There are only a few Chinese-speaking classmates around Qi Nian, and most of the time they don't communicate in Chinese, and only return to their mother tongue when they go back to the apartment to talk to their aunt.

After Qi Nian went to school, Auntie became very happy - because the state of Qi Nian in the past few months was so similar to Zheng Yiwan's state before her death. Looking at Qi Nian, she looked sad.

Fortunately, Vancouver's 20-plus degrees and pleasant summer finally made the situation better.

Qi Nian began to notice the difference in the many familiar people around him, as if he cared about Gu Saming's last words with a slap in the face.

When he sat on the lawn basking in the sun, bumped into a squirrel running by the roadside, and was dragged to the beach by his classmates to watch the pink-blue sky and the magnificent sunset, something was reawakened and throbbing.

So he kept searching in this foreign land, looking for those moments that overlapped with his memory.Every moment has Gu Saming.

He cleaned up the chaotic pile of hemp in his mind, and carefully stored his brother, who was intertwined with non-stop breathing and longing, in his heart bit by bit, stuffing it full.

At this moment, Qi Nian was full of regret, and became more and more eager to be an obedient child.

He wanted Gu Saming to say that whenever he saw him again, Qi Nian was the brother who listened to his brother, grew up well, and never changed his mind, Gu Saming's most special and favorite brother.

Therefore, in the second year of school in Vancouver, no matter how much the study pressure was, Qi Nian was not one of those people who had to worry about not being able to graduate smoothly, so he began to use his spare time to work in restaurants, flower shops or cafes.Although Qi Wenzhi gave him a card, and the high pocket money that could not be spent was regularly credited to the card, but he never used a penny.After applying for graduate school, Qi Nian no longer lived with his aunt, but would visit him from time to time, and his aunt also came over from time to time to cook Chinese food for him, often squinting his eyes and couldn't help but mutter.

Six years have passed, and Qi Nian has become an adult who seems to be able to live a good life alone. He doesn't need to depend on his brother who has never heard from him and his father who doesn't want to depend on him anymore. He can solve food, clothing, studies and life by himself. Adaptively exist in this cold world.

But today, the specific circumstances of many things that happened in Vancouver have become vague and chaotic to Qi Nian.

No one mentioned Gu Saming in front of him again, and everyone thought that he and Gu Saming would never have any relationship or relationship.He himself sometimes thinks so.

But this is a deception, a deception that distorts and hides the facts, Qi Nian is always aware of it.

Taking a taxi from Yunjiang intersection, passing through the lights of thousands of houses, Qi Nian stopped outside a residential complex, paid the money and walked along the path.

The house he rents has two bedrooms and one living room, it is fully furnished, and the property services in the community are average.

After entering the door, Qi Nian turned on the light in the living room in the dark, went straight to the sink in the bathroom, unscrewed the hot water and washed his face, looked up in the mirror, his face was still pale and stiff.He still hasn't gotten used to the weather in Yuncheng, and he always feels cold. After six years away, he doesn't look like a person who grew up in Yuncheng.

In the end, Qi Nian took a hot bath and did not turn on the lights when he came out. After turning on the air conditioner, he turned on the TV.

He was wrapped in a blanket, his legs curled up, his chin rested on his knees, and he pressed the remote control in his hand.

The sound of the TV was turned down very low, making the whole room immersed in darkness quieter.He stared at the constantly jumping screen with little interest, but seemed to be watching seriously.

Different scenes of fireworks are played on the screen, and they are also celebrating the festive season, to bid farewell to the old and welcome the new.

Qi Nian looked at it for a while and felt his eyes were dry and blurry, turned over and buried his head in the complete darkness.

Time can change a lot of things. Qi Nian can't remember clearly the years when he was separated from Gu Saming, and the years when he knew that Gu Saming's lifetime was far away.However, whether he engraved those two years of high school in his heart or forgotten little of the remaining lengthy fragments, it all came to naught in the end.Time rolled forward, and everything left him without distinction.

But even if his life ends in the next second, Qi Nian feels that his memory is not so lackluster. He can die, but the elder brother in his heart cannot.

It doesn't matter if you say it's lingering on your last breath, or you're in a cocoon.

Qi Nian is invincible and "grows up well", just because the choice of ending is not in his hands.

Qi Nian closed his eyes, replaying in his mind the past events that he feared he would forget that he had recalled countless times.

——He always fantasizes and covets some far-fetched dreams on some days that he thinks are special.

Every time it will fail, but there will always be a next time.

He nestled on the sofa, covered his face with his hands, his shoulders were trembling vaguely, and he couldn't help being that cowardly and helpless child again.

Qi Nian, who never shed a single tear again, knew that the child was crying so hard, sobbing but silently waiting forever, looking up in despair with an innocent and expectant face.

The deep-rooted longing cannot exist only by unilateral force, can it?

So, Gu Saming, when will you be able to come and see me who has grown up properly.

"Brother..." Qi Nian murmured half asleep, the corners of his eyes soaked with moisture, "I'm not afraid."

Before falling asleep completely, he said in a low voice, "You miss me."

The author says:

After writing this article, I was in a state of predestined relationship, because I could neither find a good job nor pass the graduate school entrance examination just by writing essays, and I was forced to be predestined to change due to life's cruelty to me.Thank you for the rewards and comments. The theme of orthopedics is now for love. There are not many people who read it after the update. It is not easy to have today's second volume...but I know it is badly written. More slowly, don't say more.I have no choice but to change it later, I am very sorry.In the end, everyone, please set the goal as "I am happy", but don't make me unhappy, I am more passive than anyone else.And happy Mid-Autumn Festival. btw↑The focus of today is that the broken mirror has begun to come together, Qi Nian has returned to China, okay! !