Star Railway: Lumen
Chapter 42
"Is this what you really think?"
"Um?"
"I said, is this what you really think?"
Huang An turned his head.
Jing Liu had already raised his head, frowning, and that coldness made it difficult for him to suppress his true thoughts.
"What else?"
Huang An shook his head:"Think about it carefully."
"I think about it carefully... This is not the main reason for your refusal."
Jing Liu narrowed his eyes:"This is not your"
"How well do you know me?"
Huang An turned to look at her.
Jing Liu was stunned where she was.
After being stunned for a few seconds, her eyes suddenly turned red.
Huang An's eyes widened.
The first thought in his mind was not to go up and comfort her.
Instead, he saw a wonder of the world.
Shaking off the thoughts in his mind, he quickly stepped forward:"Sorry... did I say too much?"
Jing Liu shook his head.
She just thought of a lot of things in that instant.
The same conversation had happened between her and Bai Heng.
Today, she suddenly realized how hurtful this sentence was.
Bai Heng and the others still didn't give up on her and were friends with her. How much courage did it take... She felt sorry for her friends, hated her past self, and was sad that Huang An was as cold as a piece of ice that could not be melted.
She knew she had no right to be angry, because she was no one, even if she was considering Huang An.
Emotions surged up in an instant, making her feel so weak.
Jing Liu sat on the sofa and Huang An squatted beside her
"Don't cry...it's my fault."
Huang An comforted her:"But I……"
"But what?"
Jing Liu looked at him with red eyes.
She suddenly realized that this seemed to be an opportunity to test Huang An's true thoughts.
Although crying is weak... but it is really useful.
"When you come to Xianzhou, everyone is your family. My friends are also your friends. It must be happier there than here.……"
"I can't leave."
Huang An shook his head, his tone somewhat helpless:"You know my job... There is no way, I can't leave"
"Why? Just disappear."
"Because we have decided who will survive, and that person is not me."
Huang An shook his head:"People like us... the final outcome has been determined since we entered here. We will definitely die, die in the last mission, and that mission will definitely go wrong... Do you understand?"
Huang An said so, how could Jing Liu not understand ?
"Why? You didn't choose this path!"
"But we still took this path."
Huang An tilted his head:"Even if we kill people who break the law, it is still impossible for the higher-ups to let us survive and enter this society."
"There are not many places left.���Here, the higher-ups are turning a blind eye."
But I am one of the three leaders of the Phoenix Organization... I know too much and have been involved too deeply. There is no way the higher-ups will let me survive, no matter what.""
Huang An, you are fucking crazy.
Why are you telling her these things?
Jing Liu stared at him and said nothing.
"Do you understand... people like us... never have the power to choose."
Looking at the girl's eyes, Huang An suddenly felt a little aggrieved.
Yes, this road was not chosen by them, and they were even pushed to walk on this road.
But the final result is still that others made the choice for them.
"After enjoying a rich life, you have to pay it back."
For the first time, Huang An laughed without hesitation in front of Jing Liu:"Maybe it's a reincarnation problem? It seems that I have to be born into a good family in the next life."
"But this is not fair……"
"This is fair."
Huang An shook his head:"You will feel unfair if you think from my perspective. We have killed too many innocent people, whether we did it intentionally or not."
"You know, Jingliu, I was only fourteen when I killed someone for the first time"
"The first person I killed was a little girl, she was only thirteen years old, I killed her family of four"
"What did that family do wrong? Maybe they broke the law, but I didn't know anything at the time. I was going to kill their whole family because of a mission."
Huang An squatted beside Jing Liu, who lowered his head and looked at his face.
Huang An still smiled and said,"I will tell the Happy Star God."
"If there is really a next life, I will be reborn in the Immortal Boat."
Huang An stood up and patted Jing Liu's head:"Keep your eyes sharp, and don't forget to find me when the time comes."
Jing Liu lowered his head and said nothing.
"Let me guess, do you want to hug me?"
Huang An made a joke, turned around and greeted her:"I don't feel like cooking, let's go out to eat."
Jing Liu didn't respond, stood up, and followed Huang An to the door.
Xiao Bai wagged his tail and watched the two masters who hadn't said a word to him since they came back leave.
……
Huang An finally chose hot pot.
The hot pot was steaming hot. Even if the two of them sat together without talking, they could create a lively atmosphere and not be so awkward.
Jing Liu bit the beef in small bites without saying a word.
Huang An didn't say anything either. Perhaps because the outburst just now made him, who rarely had emotional fluctuations, a little tired, he sat there, struggling with a coriander.
I don't know if it was because the coriander was hard to bite, or because of the things in his heart that couldn't be cut off.
If Jing Liu really left, he would take Xiao Bai with him... maybe...
No, he wouldn't.
Her change to him was not fake, and the days spent with her were not fake.
Everything, everything was real, the days they spent together, the life they lived together.
These changes, the changes to him, were all real.
He would never forget this period of time.
Yeah.
He had accepted it. If he could really see the Star God at night, if He was really willing to help him...
He thought that he might be able to accept the departure of Jing Liu and Xiao Bai, and then live a good life with the changes they had made together.
Huang An chuckled and looked at Jing Liu opposite him:"What's wrong, my master, are you still unhappy?"
"Not to you."
Jing Liu swallowed the meat in his mouth:"I just feel that... all this is unfair"
"Nothing is fair in this world. If it is fair to me, it is not fair to others."
Huang An said softly,"Eat more." Jing
Liu nodded.
She hoped to go back, but she also hoped that she could not go back.
If she went back... he would become another person.
Jing Liu raised his head and looked into Huang An's eyes.
It took a lot of effort for the abyss to have a reflection of light.
It took a lot of effort for the light to reflect the figures of others.
Jing Liu lowered his head again.
What a contradiction!……
……
At night, Huang An heard that clear laughter again
"What's your name?"
Huang An stared at the huge mask and said softly.
The laughter became sharper. The shadow seemed surprised that Huang An could respond to him. He laughed more excitedly, as if he had seen the most interesting thing in the universe.
Joyful Star God... well-deserved reputation
"What are you?"
The clear and sharp voice could not distinguish between male and female.
"Ahha wants to know! Ahha wants to know!"
Aha?..."
Huang An frowned, raised his head to the huge figure of Ahha, and said loudly:"Aha, can I ask you for a favor?"
The huge black shadow did not answer, as if waiting for him to tell his purpose.
But the laughter continued.
However, Huang An knew that He could hear his words.
"Aha."
Huang An raised his head:"Please, send Jingliu and Xiaobai back to the immortal boat."
The laughter suddenly became louder, and Aha's body trembled, the stars trembled, the space shattered, and the smiling mask in front of him trembled.
"Are you serious?"
The laughter suddenly stopped, and Huang An heard the clear voice.
"Yes, I am serious.
Huang An nodded.
"when"
"……hold on"
"Hehehehe...wait a minute, when will that be?"
"Will I ever see you again?"
"Well... who knows, who knows! Maybe we can see each other again! Maybe we can't see each other again!"
Ahha laughed:"Aha doesn't know either!"
Huang An gave up asking Ahha such a meaningless question.
Ahha would never give a serious answer.
Ahha laughed for a while and then stopped:"Maybe we can see each other again"
"Then, I will tell you again."
Huang thought to himself.
He seemed reluctant to give up this kind of life.
At least... he should give her a parting gift.
"Ha!"
Ah Ha laughed:"Ah Ha agreed!"
The dream ended abruptly.
Huang An opened his eyes.
……
"I'll take you out for a day today."
Huang An said to Jing Liu early in the morning.
Jing Liu blinked blankly:"Go out and do it.���What?"
"The Star God has agreed to my request, but I don't know when it will be."
Huang said indifferently,"I think I should bring some gifts to your friends."
Jing Liu lowered her eyes.
She didn't know what she was thinking.
But when she heard that she would not go back immediately, she was actually relieved.
"Let's go to the mall."
Huang An waved her hand, and Jing Liu nodded blankly.
She didn't know what she was thinking, but just followed Huang An forward and walked into the mall.
After entering the store, Jing Liu came back to her senses.
Because Huang An called her:"You go pick out gifts for those people, I'll wait to pay"
""Yeah."
Jingliu nodded and walked into the store.
Huang An crossed his arms and looked at Jingliu's back.
She was leaving. She had been here for almost a year. She suddenly broke into his life and was leaving again.
From the three shots at the beginning to everything now...
It really felt a bit... dazed.
Huang An took a deep breath
"Huang An turned his head and saw Jing Liu holding a retro piece of clothing and waving at him.
"What's wrong?"
"That... Ying Xing's figure should be similar to yours."
Jing Liu held up the clothes:"Can you help me try them on?"
"No problem."
Huang An nodded readily, took the clothes and walked to the fitting room.
After Huang An changed into clothes... it wasn't as good-looking as imagined?
Huang An's hair was not very pure even after dyeing it. It didn't match the black tuxedo and the clothes that combined the style of Hanfu.
The others were all fine.
Jing Liu nodded:"This one is very good"
"Then this is it."
Huang An nodded:"Pack it up...just this one?"
"One piece is enough……"
Jing Liu scratched his head and said,"I plan to find another headdress or something to give to Bai Heng.……"
"Where is Dan Feng?"
Huang An still remembers the names of Jing Liu's friends.
"Danfeng... I'm going to give him a necklace. I think it will suit him. Luofu Longzun's clothes are all made by the people of the Chiming Clan. He also has bracelets and other things, and they have special meanings."
Jingliu rubbed his chin:"As for Jingyuan... I want to give him a silk ribbon."
Jingyuan's image is always not neat enough
"Well, it's up to you."
Huang An waved his hand:"Pack the clothes first."
Jing Liu lowered his head:"It seems that I can't go back yet"
"how?"
"I haven't paid you back yet."
Jing Liu raised his lips and said,"I don't owe anyone money."
"You don't have to pay it back."
Huang An leaned aside:"I'm not short of money."
Jing Liu glanced at him.
Was she speechless?
Huang An actually saw a few traces of speechlessness in Jing Liu's eyes.
In the end, Jing Liu bought a set of clothes for Ying Xing, a red silk ribbon for Jing Yuan, a necklace for Dan Feng, and a very delicate bracelet for Bai Heng - the price was also there.
As for why he didn't buy a hairpin for Bai Heng, Jing Liu's explanation was that Bai Heng didn't wear a ponytail or a bun, because her ears were a bit of a hindrance and she was too lazy to take care of them, so she usually tied her hair at the end.
Jing Liu walked beside Huang An, talking about his close friends
"Ying Xing is always bickering with Jing Yuan, but if I intervene, it would seem like I am taking sides. If I don’t…they will continue to bicker."
"Why not let them fight each other?"
Huang An nodded:"This will actually make their relationship better."
"They do have a good relationship, but they quarrel most of the time."
Jing Liu said softly:"Ying Xing sometimes quarrels with Jing Yuan, and sometimes quarrels with Dan Feng.……"
But Dan Feng doesn't often talk to him.
"From what I hear, Ying Xing seems to be a very interesting person."
"Yeah."
Jingliu nodded.
"It's good."
Huang An raised her lips.
She shouldn't be lonely with them.
Especially if she brings Xiao Bai back, she will be very happy.
Huang An closed her eyes gently.
Then, she doesn't need to worry about anything anymore.
His day is coming soon.
……
"For you"
"What is this?"
Jing Liu looked at the small gift box in his hand.
"A little gift."
Huang An chuckled:"I don't know if you will like it, open it and take a look."
Jing Liu opened the gift box and looked at it carefully.
Inside was an ice blue necklace.
Jing Liu took it out and put it on his neck carefully.
"Does it look good?"
She turned left and right, then looked tentatively at Huang An.
"Yeah, it looks good."
Huang An nodded, with a smile on his face:"It suits you very well."
"Thanks...how much is this?"
"Don't talk about money when it comes to gifts."
Huang An shook his finger:"This is my thank you gift to you."
"Thank you for what?"
Jingliu blinked.
"Thank you for appearing in my life and changing me."
Huang An felt that this was awkward, so he quickly changed the subject:"If you like it, wear it."
"Well...actually……"
Jing Liu opened her palm.
Huang An raised an eyebrow and looked at the blue gift box in her hand.
"It seems that we two have some tacit understanding."
Jing Liu smiled and handed the gift box to Huang An.
"Let’s take it apart and have a look."
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