The Best Fake Eunuch

"Damn servant, you only have the queen in your heart, without us!" Liu Ruyun said half in jest and half seriously.

"Sister Yun, stop scolding him, it's not worth it just to fight for words." Zhang Yaoer laughed.

"He is now a third-rank eunuch holding a pen, and he has made so many contributions to the emperor, but he has long since ignored us!" Concubine Liang Gui followed suit.

"Even if you have something to eat, you can't stop your mouths!" Murong Danqiu laughed, "Everyone has no rules, look how dignified Nan Qiao is!"

"Nan Qiao is a fairy, different from ordinary people like us." Liu Ruyun smiled.

"Do you dare to say that the queen is a layman? Queen, slap her!" Concubine Liang laughed.

"The empress is an ordinary person, even the emperor is..." Liu Ruyun spoke bluntly, daring to say anything.

Suddenly, a hearty voice came from outside the courtyard, "Who said that my love is a layman? You still slander me, what should I do?"

However, more than a dozen big internal guards rushed in, standing on both sides, and one person came in at a leisurely pace, but it was Li Wanjiang.

He also smelled it...

Seeing so many concubines gathered here in a peaceful and happy atmosphere, Li Wanjiang also expressed his relief.

Without waiting for the queen to be polite to him, he sat down directly, ready to have fun with the concubine for a while.

Xiao Chen had a smile on his face, but he cursed in his heart that this uninvited guest was so annoying, my lord, I was enjoying chatting and eating with beauties, what are you doing here?

I have to wait on you personally, my lord!

"Huh? This barbecue tastes really weird, but it's really delicious." Li Wanjiang couldn't stop after taking a bite of the meat skewers.

"What is this? Lamb kidneys?" Li Wanjiang, the emperor, naturally couldn't eat this kind of offal, he took a bite and his mouth was full of oil, which was extremely tender.

"This is lamb liver." After taking another bite of Xiao Chen's oil-wrapped liver, he was full of praise, it was so delicious.

Majesty, please eat slowly, there is also roast leg of lamb...

Li Wanjiang really wanted to say that since he entered the palace, he had never eaten such delicious meals!

"Your Majesty, please try this soup." Xiao Chen served him another bowl of mutton and carrots.

"Oh! It's really delicious!" Li Wanjiang instantly felt that what he did as the emperor was worth it!

If it weren't for the emperor, how could it be possible to taste such a delicacy in the world?

"This soup is delicious, I like it very much, which cook made it? Xiao Chen?" Li Wanjiang rarely asked about the cook, but he didn't expect it to be Xiao Chen's big hand.

What the hell is there that you kid can't?

"You immediately write a recipe and give it to the imperial dining room. From now on, I will drink this soup every day!" Li Wanjiang ordered.

"If you go back to the emperor, this ingredient is all obtained by the servant from a Westerner, and we don't have it in Dazhou. In addition, this delicious soup is filled with monosodium glutamate prepared by the servant. This MSG is quite complicated to make. Even if the servant uses the recipe Hand it over to the imperial dining room, and they can't get it out." Xiao Chen hurriedly explained.

"However, there is a slave here. Whenever you want to eat, the emperor, the slave can cook it for you." Said that his importance is irreplaceable.

"Your majesty, these messy things don't conform to the palace regulations. Logically, you shouldn't eat them, your majesty, and you shouldn't bring them in, Xiao Chen. If you think about it, it's all a sin." Gong Shouli on the side said coldly. road.

"Eunuch Gong said yes." Xiao Chen said to fuck you, Li Wanjiang came here by himself, and he ate when he came, but I didn't invite him to eat!

"Forget it, the desire for tongue, human nature, I eat them all, why do you still say these meaningless things?" Li Wanjiang also felt that Gong Shouli was troublesome.

It seems that I am so greedy.

"It's rare for me to be free today, and there are so many concubines here, so you don't have to be restrained. Let's drink wine while watching the moon, and get drunk to our heart's content. We will also live up to the beauty of this beautiful day, and Xiao Chen's delicious food." Li Wanjiang ate It's sweet and in a good mood.

"Since we are watching the moon and drinking, we must find something to add to the fun, why not recite poems?" Liu Ruyun suggested.

"When it comes to reciting poems and making them right, who can do better than Xiao Chen? We won't be composing poems today, so let's use jokes as orders. Everyone tell a few jokes. If it's funny, forget it, and if it's not funny, you'll be fined a glass of wine!" Li Wanjiang laughed.

"What the emperor said is that a good joke can be enjoyed by both the refined and the vulgar, and everyone can still be happy, but if the joke is good, it is not fun. Your majesty, you must first avoid the crime of being rude to the big guy before we dare to say it." Liu Ruyun laughed.

"Hahaha, my dear concubine, you talk too much, okay, we are like ordinary people today, and we don't need to pay so much attention to etiquette, as long as the joke is funny, we can say anything, not only will I not sin, but I will also reward you! "Li Wanjiang laughed, and the atmosphere rose immediately.

"The queen is the master, please come first." Liu Ruyun stood up and filled a glass of wine for Murong Danqiu.

"If it comes to writing poems, I can barely handle it, but I can't tell jokes either, Xiao Chen, tell me one for me! Murong Danqiu greets Xiao Chen.

In fact, she is not good at telling, but jokes are not elegant, serious ones are not funny, and funny ones are not serious. With her empress status, she can't say such shit.

"Xiao Chen, did you hear what the empress said? Tell me something quickly, the emperor rewards you if you are funny, and punishes you with three glasses of wine if you are not funny!" Liu Ruyun has a lively personality and took the initiative to be the commander.

"Hey!" Xiao Chen had no choice but to obey.

"When this slave was serving the concubine's relatives and passed through Jiangdong County, one day he was walking by the sea, and suddenly encountered a rare sight. It was a mirage on the sea. It was also the result of the emperor's kindness. It is the auspiciousness of the heavenly general..."

Everyone looked at him eagerly, thinking that this kid can play tricks, and if you tell a joke, you will not forget to flatter the emperor!

"This mirage is also really magnificent. I can see Qionglou Yuyu on the clouds, resplendent and resplendent, with Danying carvings, and painted buildings flying. It is like the palace where the Jade Emperor lives in the sky. It is indescribably magnificent. It is really beautiful. Beautiful." Xiao Chen shook his head, nodded in admiration, with a look of ecstasy.

But he didn't go any further.

After waiting for a long time, Liu Ruyun couldn't help asking, "This is the case above, but what about the bottom?"

"Down?" Xiao Chen intentionally or unintentionally glanced at Gong Shouli's lower body, and said nonchalantly, "There's no more down there!"

"No more... giggling!" Liu Ruyun was taken aback for a moment, and then giggled coquettishly.

Li Wanjiang just took a bite of meat, and before he chewed it, he spit it out, raised his head and laughed.

A few women even trembled with laughter, unable to help themselves.

A person as cold as Duanmu Nanqiao couldn't stop laughing, leaning his head on Murong Danqiu's shoulder, his tender body shaking violently, "My good sister, my stomach hurts so badly!"

Gong Shouli's face turned red and then pale, and it took a long time before he said angrily, "There is no one under you!"

This sentence hit the big guy's laughter even more, all the suppressed laughter was released, and tears came out of each laugh.

This is the pinnacle of jokes, self-deprecating.