The Shaman Wants Transcendence

Chapter 33

33 – The Difference Between a Freak and an Uninvited Guest

“Rise Saigo’s father, Mr. Kenji Saigo, is not a priest. After graduating from the Faculty of Archeology, he lived as a manager of local ruins. He is also the one who came up with the idea to use it as a tool. Thanks to this, the local economy has been revitalized and it has gained a lot of trust from the residents.”

“Oh, no. Wait…”

“Saigo grew up with such a father. And last summer, a friend of his father said he could use the Private Beach, and Rise and his best friend drove there. Do you remember? Saigo Among your best friends, there is only one person who got a driver’s license.”

“Le, Lena?”

The doctor nodded his head.

“Yes, it’s Lena. Lena said she’d drive herself after getting her driver’s license. The car was a regular sedan, so it was a little cramped for 5 people with their own luggage, but it was still manageable. But on the way, a truck crossed the lane on the bridge and the car fell under the bridge. Luckily, only Mr. Saigo survived.”

“For a moment…”

“Fortunately, Mr. Saigo suffered no serious injuries. He had at best drunk on water. But his other friends unfortunately died at the scene. One suffered a heart attack, two drowned and one died from a fractured cervical vertebrae.”

“Wait…!”

“But is it because of the shock of the incident? Mr. Saigo began to show mental problems. At first, it was about forgetfulness, but later it reached the point where his memory was reset every day, and he began to show a violent and distorted past close to delusion. .So I couldn’t stand it and decided to admit Mr. Kenji to our hospital.”

“Wait, wait! Wait!”

Rise gritted her teeth and shouted at the doctor.

“It’s a lie!”

“It is true.”

“It is a lie!”

“It’s real.”

“No!”

“Believe me. I’m only telling the truth.”

“I hate it! I hate it!”

“Saigo-san, please trust me. Face reality.”

The doctor looked at Rise, who was calmly writing a scream, and said.

“Currently, Mr. Saigo’s symptoms are serious. Now he can hear hallucinations and hallucinations, and the trauma is being reproduced in the form of nightmares in his dreams. “Mr. Saigo. The mind also has homeostasis. It always tries to stay in a normal state, but after a long period of deterioration, the deteriorating state becomes known as normal. Then it really becomes difficult to treat.”

“I’m not crazy! I’m not crazy!”

“Ha…”

The doctor looked at Rise’s rampage as if he was in trouble.

“I’m not crazy! Consistency?! What is constancy! I only know continuity! Dreams are continuity…s*x?”

At that moment, Rise’s body stiffened.

“Continuity?”

Continuity.

Dream continuity.

Dreams are meant to be continuous.

So what separates dream from reality is continuity.

『Lise! Don’t forget what I told you! 』

『Lise! Can you hear me! Lyse! 』

I have to do a reality check! 』

Reality Check.

At that moment, Rise’s head snapped back.

The doctor was staring at her face.

“Reality check. Reality checkYou have to go big.”

There are three reality check methods she learned.

“I should… Do a reality check… But…?”

The first is to cover her nose and breathe.

In a dream, you can breathe well even if you cover your nose with your hand.

But her arms, which were meant to cover her nose, were tightly bound.

The second is to look at the clock.

In a dream, letters and numbers change periodically, so if you see it, you can immediately recognize it as a dream.

But there was no clock in the room. There is a note with letters and a chart in the doctor’s hand, but the chart is held by the doctor so that the paper is not visible, and the note she just saw is held by her nurse in her hand. Oddly enough, it was an angle that exquisitely covered the letters on the cover, which could never be seen from Rise’s viewing position.

The third is putting her fingers back as hard as she can.

If it’s a dream, you won’t feel any pain, and your fingers will bend in an unnatural way.

But now she has her arms tied.

It was so tight that it was hard to even lift one of her fingers.

“Ha, I can’t… I can’t… Do a reality check…”

Rise’s face turned white.

The doctor looked at him and said:

“Why, what’s not going well?”

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* * *

Treatment continued.

Rise, whose body was thoroughly restrained, could do nothing but receive treatment.

“Saigo-san. Once again, your father is not a priest. Think carefully. If your father were a priest, he would be worshiping a god. Can you properly tell the name and history of that god? You won’t be able to. Because , because your delusions are not based on logic and calculation, but on simple beliefs. That is the contradiction in your memory, proof that your past is false.”

The doctor said it over and over again.

“The same goes for the death of a friend. Death is something that humans cannot escape, and it is something that we must face. However, it is a tragedy that such an accident occurred while traveling with you. It must be a great tragedy without it. But think carefully: If Saigo-san believes in God, and that God is giving Saigo-san strength, why couldn’t the tragedy have been prevented?”

The doctor said several times as if denying her past.

“You don’t seem to believe in the accident, but here’s the evidence. You see the newspaper article here? A fall from the Klitschko Bridge… 4 women in their 20s died, 1 minor injured. The date was just last year. That’s right. Mr. Saigo is not 21 years old. 22 Years old. After the accident, Mr. Saigo couldn’t remember properly, and he was admitted to our hospital a few months ago.”

RiSe had no choice but to listen to the doctor while being thoroughly tied to the bed.

“Believe me. I’m here to treat Risse. Reality check? I can show you. As many times as you want, I can show you as many times as you want. But it’s a hallucination caused by Saigo’s ataxia.” “How can you be sure it’s not? I know a little bit about reality checks. It’s what lucid dreamers do to distinguish between reality and dreams? Nurse! Prepare a top and a watch!”

The doctor thoroughly denied Rise’s words.

It destroyed RiSe’s thoughts, destroyed RiSe’s faith, and destroyed RiSe’s spirit.

Bangle.

The top brought by the nurse spun on the table. The top turned and turned and did not fall to the floor. However, the doctor looked at Rise as if it were no big deal and said:

“The top spins. It spins lower and lower, ah. It has stopped now. But Mr. Saigo, what does that top look like to you? Has it stopped spinning, or does it keep spinning?”

“It’s spinning! It’s spinning! This is a dream!”

“Haa… Mr. Saigo. Again, Mr. Saigo is suffering from ataxia. The typical symptoms of ataxia are hallucinations and auditory hallucinations. You are experiencing hallucinations.”

“No! My brain is fine!”

“It is said that the test result came out like that a while ago. However, it is clear that Mr. Saigo has a mental problem, and it is true that he shows symptoms that exactly match ataxia. If you do, there is a high probability that dopamine is over-secreted. So, the spinning top Mr. Saigo is looking at is not real.”

“No! It’s spinning like that… Like that… How?”

When Lise looked at the table again, the top stopped.

“Whoa… This is serious. It might take a while… Nurse! Give me a watch too.”

8:45.

2:13

9:54

1:11

Every time Rise blinked, the numbers on the digital clock changed rapidly.

She opened her eyes, wondering if she was seeing something wrong, but the numbers on the clock that changed every time she looked away seemed to say that this place was a dream. But as if she had read her thoughts, the doctor opened her mouth again.

“How is it? Does the time seem to change wildly?”

“Yes! It’s changing like that, like that!”

“Saigo-san. It looks like it’s turned off in my eyes.”

The doctor turned the digital watch over.

“Uh?”

The battery insertion part of the overturned digital watch was empty.

“You have to trust me. Recognizing the problem is the first step to treatment.”

Treatment continued.

“Now, please look at this. This is the diary Mr. Saigo has been writing. You can see that it is getting worse and worse. Circumstantiality and incoherent thinking are the most common symptoms. Salad) can happen. When you get to that point, it becomes really difficult to treat.”

The doctor even showed me the notes.

“This is Mr. Saigo Kenji’s certificate of employment. Mr. Saigo belongs to the national civil service. See? This is a civil service card. And this is the diploma Kenji Saigo received when he graduated from the Department of Archeology, and this is the degree conferment certificate. Wherever you look, It has nothing to do with priests. Mr. Kenji Saigo was dressed as a priest and greeted tourists, not a person who worships God. Some priests hold the same post as a civil servant? Have you ever heard of such a thing?”

She showed all the papers and denied that her father was a priest.

“This is a news video. I didn’t want to show it for a while, but I couldn’t help it. See the sedan here? This is the car Mr. Saigo and his friends were riding in. And on the other side, a truck pulled down the center line.Approached, and the sedan turned the steering wheel to avoid it. But, despite my unlucky turn, I hit a truck and fell down a bridge like this.”

Over and over again she said her friend was dead.

The process was terrifyingly long, and it was enough to make RiSe exhausted.

“Huh… There’s no point in continuing with this. Let’s take a deep breath and start. Oh, don’t worry. I’ll stay in this hospital room until Saigo-san gets better. Until he’s freed from brainwashing. Don’t forget, I’m Saigo. I am here to heal you. Trust me, I will be there when you open your eyes.”

And when she was completely exhausted and closed her eyes, the doctor gave her permission to sleep.

She struggled to sleep, covering her confused head with her soma.

* * *

Lise met her friends.

“Hello, Lisse?”

『Don’t be fooled by illusions! 』

“Nice to see you again!”

“We haven’t finished all our hundred questions!”

“Let’s go on a trip together!”

“God called us!”

『Do a reality check! 』

“This is not a dream! God exists!”

“We’re alive! Huh? Why is your mouth so torn? Does that matter?”

“Why does water keep flowing from your face? Ahahahaha! Lyse is funny!”

“By the way, Lisse!”

The friends she had met in her dream all at once tore her mouth open with both hands and shouted, opening their mouths larger than her head.

“Time to go back in!”

* * *

When I opened my eyes, there was a doctor.

The doctor said, wiping the forehead of Lyse, who was dripping with cold sweat, with her handkerchief.

“Did you wake up? It sounds like you had a nightmare.”

The doctor’s tired face was even more emaciated. Her dark circles were darker and wider, and with a bit of exaggeration, her dark circles seemed to reach her feet. RiSe felt strangely guilty and grateful for her appearance.

“Oh, thank you…”

“It was nothing.”

It was a short conversation.

But at least Rise thought that the exchange of emotions lasted longer than the conversation.

“Then let’s continue treatment.”

And treatment resumed.

“Mr. Saigo, your treatment begins with recognizing reality and acknowledging the facts. Admit it first. Even a little is fine. Your father is not a priest, and your friends died last year. And you are 22 It’s years old. Admit it. If you don’t believe in memory, trust me. I’m here to heal you, and it takes your faith to heal. I want to heal you.”

…

* * *

I had a nightmare again.

This time, RiSe’s father came out of her dream, opened her mouth wide, and bit her head off.

* * *

＜Br＞

The doctor said

“The source of your brainwashing is ‘god’. A god that does not exist. It sinks deep into your heart like a black box and is the main culprit polluting your mind. No matter how much Mr. Saigo recognizes the reality, he will not deny it. “If you don’t do it, the disease can recur at any time. Trauma is not something you overcome or get rid of, but something you have to accept. The mind is so delicate that if one part breaks down, the other part breaks down as well. In a chain, that’s how it breaks down.”

“Breakdown…”

“I’ve seen a lot of patients like that. I’ve seen people who end their lives because of simple depression, and I’ve seen people who take medicine every day because their brains are destroyed because of phantom pain. I don’t want Mr. Saigo to be like that. I mean it.”

How long will this treatment last?

I don’t know how many days have passed.

Rise closed her eyes again.

* * *

She had a dream

A passer-by bit off RiSe’s neck.

The doctor said

“Deny the fiction and face the reality. You may think that God is a great being, but it’s just a fictional existence. Like the saying, I thought it was a ghost, but it was dried silver grass. When you check it, it’s all just you. Even if you turn away, the fundamentals won’t change!”

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I had a dream.

Risse was happily chatting with his friends in the narrow car. But he heard a deafening sound, and his eyes went dark.

The doctor said

“Saigo-san… No. Rise-san. You’re getting better. You’re getting better! Cheer up a little more!”

I had a dream.

RiSe’s father was giving her a shoulder ride when she was little.

“Lise! Do you like shrine maidens?”

“Huh? Huh! Miko is good!”

“Really? Then, from now on, you can wear Miko’s clothes as much as you like! It’s okay to brag about it!”

“Why? I’m a shrine maiden from now on? Is my father a priest?”

“No! I’m not a priest, but… I’m going to manage a gentleman!”

The doctor said

“Rise-san, you finally acknowledged it… But the last hurdle remains. Phew… You know that words have power, right? Words are a kind of self-declaration. , Please follow me.”

“Yes.”

“My father is not a priest.”

“My friends are dead.”

“My friends… Are dead…”

“There is no God. God is one body with me, and another self of me.”

“There is no God. God is one with me, and my other… Self…”

“Hmm… That’s a bit lacking. Shall we put God’s name and your name in? I think that would work better.”

Lise hesitated for a moment at the doctor’s words, then spoke.

“There is no Mukurikokuri no Inugami. Mukurikokuri no Inugami is one body with Saigo Rise, and Saigo Rise’s alter ego.”

The doctor clapped and clapped her hands at her words.

“Well done! Really. I’m so happy. Mr. Saigo Rise has been cured! I’m free from the past, I can accept the trauma as it is and move on to the future! I’m really thrilled. Also, thank you so much for trusting me! “

He was thrilled and hugged Rise as it was. Rise trembled slightly in surprise at his action, but soon smiled.

“Thank you so much. You worked hard to treat me. And… Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“You’re welcome.”

The doctor smiled broadly and said.

“Now then, shall we celebrate Rise-san’s complete recovery and shout out the self-declaration he made at the end?”

“Eh? Big? That’s embarrassing…”

hahahaha. Don’t worry. The hospital room is well soundproofed. No matter how loud you shout, you won’t be able to hear anything outside.”

“Then… Shall we try…?”

Rise took a deep breath and said.

“There is no Mukurikokuri-no-Inugami. Mukuri-Kokuri-no-Inugami is one body with Saigo Rise, and Saigo Rise’s alter ego!”

“Small! Bigger!”

“There is no Mukurikokuri-no-Inugami. Mukuri-Kokuri-no-Inugami is one body with Saigo Rise, and Saigo Rise’s alter ego!”

“Let’s try one more time!”

“There is no Mukurikokuri-no-Inugami. Mukuri-Kokuri-no-Inugami is one body with Saigo Rise, and Saigo Rise’s alter ego!”

* * *

When Rise opened her eyes, the doctor was in front of her.

“That’s right. The name of the body is Mukurikokurin no Inugami, and it will disappear now.”

The doctor was wearing a suit. Then he wrapped the long hair of the terrifying ghost like a tent, knelt down on the floor like a loyal dog, and pressed the head of the trembling ghost with one hand and said,

“And Saigo Rise will serve a new god. How is it?”

Suit.

Terrible ghost.

Father tied to a log.

Memories come back

All memories come back

“Ah.”

It was only then that Rise was able to recall the memories she had lost while wandering in the middle of a dream.

“Ah!”

And she realized what she had done.

“aaa!!!!”

“Thank you very much. In return, I will bless you.”