Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 84: On Dreams

"On Dreams" is a traditional joke, which originated from the profession of "dream interpretation". It is said that whatever you think about during the day you will dream about at night. The crosstalk actors on stage talk about what the dreams indicate and represent, etc.

For example, if you dream of a fire, it means wealth will come to you; if you dream of a little girl, it means you will meet a noble person; if you dream of a little boy, it means you will encounter villains, so you have to be careful recently.

After Qi Long and the others took over the conversation from the previous speaker, they directly mentioned that they had studied dream interpretation and started talking about this topic.

"If you dream of broken glass, you will have seven years of bad luck!"

"Wow, broken glass means seven years of bad luck?"

"If you dream of a broken teapot, you will be unlucky for four years!"

"The Chinese men's football team has to dream about that once every four years!"

Qi Long turned his head and said, "They are either unlucky or their skills are not good enough!"

The whole audience laughed. Ever since that commentator Dong Lu publicly criticized Qi Long and Dong Qiang online, the two brothers have often complained about the men's football team in their crosstalk.

“If you dream of a broken bowl, you will be unlucky for five years; if you dream of something broken, you will be unlucky for the rest of your life!” At the end, Qi Long’s incarnation, the crooked-mouthed god of war, raised one corner of his mouth, narrowed his eyes, and looked at the audience with a smile on his face.

It is the expression "You understand" in the emoticon package.

Every time he makes this expression, it’s guaranteed to be a dirty joke.

"What's broken?" Gao Dongqiang asked.

Qi Long thought for a moment and said, "Du, Du Lei."

"Go away, go away. Why will it bring you bad luck for the rest of your life if it breaks?"

"Nonsense, those who want to have children don't need that!" Qi Long retorted confidently.

"Tell me, this thing is right!"

Everyone laughed out loud. Raising a child nowadays means spending money. Everything is expensive.

Qi Long then said that dreams also indicate your current physical condition: "For example, if you are looking for water in your dream, you must be thirsty and you haven't drunk water for a while before going to bed; if you are looking for a toilet in your dream, it means you drank too much water before going to bed and you can't hold it in!"

"Makes sense!"

"This is not scary at all. Do you know what the scariest thing is?"

"what?"

"I found the toilet in my dream. Dongqiang found it once. After a while, I dreamed that I was soaking in water. The water smelled sour."

"Did I wet the bed?" Dongqiang suddenly realized.

In this world, this short segment is used as the basis of "On Dreams" and is the final funny punchline of the crosstalk.

This made some viewers confused. He got into the role so quickly at the beginning and told everything he could. What role will he play next?

This is the most exciting part of this crosstalk, dreaming about going to hell!
After explaining the dream, Qi Long said that he once had a strange dream. In a daze, two people, one in white and one in black, came to him with their tongues sticking out on their chests:
"Gunwo grinds elbows."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"It wasn't me who said that. It was those two people who had their tongues on their chests who said to follow us. Their tongues stuck out and they couldn't speak clearly!"

“This is too unclear!”

"Who said it wasn't? I didn't understand it either! Then I noticed that the hats on the heads of these two people had a sign that said "Make Money at First Sight" on one and a sign that said "Peace in the World" on the other!"

"This is the Black and White Impermanence!" Gao Dongqiang explained based on the hat.

"Yes, I recognized him too. I wondered why they were looking for me. How old am I? They said, 'Li Jin, the beast!'"

Gao Dongqiang translated: "It should be: Your life span is over!"

"I said, what did you say? I don't understand. Straighten your tongue and speak! The other party shouted: Burn the paintings!"

"Stop talking nonsense!" Gao Dongqiang continued translating.

"I don't understand. I won't leave. Go find Gao Dongqiang. He can understand!" Qi Long shouted anxiously.

Gao Dongqiang was stunned on the spot. He translated the first two words, which just meant that he understood them. Qi Long said that Dongqiang was confused, which made people laugh.

"Ah? What does it have to do with me?"

"I haven't lived enough. So, let me tell you a tongue twister. If you can say it, I will go with you:"

[Sending nonsense will cost you money, replying nonsense will cost you money, sending nonsense will cost you money, replying nonsense will cost you money, and spending money to reply nonsense will waste your money.]

A fluent tongue twister, showing basic skills, won applause from the audience.

"You are so mean, you have said so much, how can I say this?" Qi Long was puzzled: "Mean? I am about to be taken away, and you are still mean? Tell me, if this one doesn't work, try another one:"

As he spoke, Qi Long came again.

Several tongue twisters in a row.

What about "ash fertilizer volatilizes and turns black", "red carp, green carp and donkey", "I eat glutinous rice cake with eggs, and I eat glutinous rice cake with eggs"

Several in a row.

"Bai Wuchang is crying, wait for the lady!"

"What a bully!"

"Hei Wuchang wanted to challenge the last one, thinking it was easier. He rolled his tongue into his mouth like a big bubble gum: I want to eat egg glutinous rice cake, glutinous rice egg chicken."

Gao Dongqiang interrupted him at a very critical moment: "Wrong!"

The audience thought for a moment and knew what the person who was interrupted was about to say, and there was a burst of laughter.

Why in waves? Because some people who are slow to react only start laughing after being reminded by people around them, one wave after another.

"Right, wrong! I won't leave!" Qi Long shouted, "The Black and White Impermanence are furious. You have no say over this. If you follow us obediently, it will be fine. If you don't, I will lock you up with this big iron chain!"

Qi Long made a small mistake here and there was a problem in the character creation. Black and White Impermanence should not have spoken clearly, but he did.

When he was told “It’s not up to you”, he knew he was wrong, but he wasn’t worried because Dongqiang would definitely be able to make it up.

"Look, I made you two so angry that I can speak clearly!" Gao Dongqiang really lived up to the trust. With just one sentence, he became a burden.

Qi Long waved his hands and said, "I am just performing. Otherwise, it would be hard for everyone to understand me if I kept talking with a lisp!"

As a result, no one except the two people on the stage knew that they had made a mistake!

"It's long overdue!"

"When I saw that they were serious about it, I was also scared. Who wouldn't be scared of the Black and White Impermanence? I said let's go, and then I felt like I was floating up in the air. I saw myself lying on the bed. It was so peaceful, and I couldn't help but sigh:"

"What are you feeling?"

Qi Long took a breath and smiled, "So handsome!"

The audience, who were expecting him to say something insightful about life, suddenly let out a sigh.

"He's dead, so it's okay if he's still handsome!" Gao Dong emphasized.

Qi Long looked at Gao Dongqiang: "My partner is really good to me. I followed the Black and White Impermanence and floated out of the roof. I saw the whole community. I was so moved!"

"What are you feeling this time?"

"I haven't lived in the house that Dong Qiang rented to me for long, but I have to leave. Lord Black and White Impermanence, have you two seen that building? Dong Qiang lives there, and he is my partner. How about taking him with you so that we can keep each other company?"

"Do you want to die or not?" Gao Dongqiang was furious.

Qi Long said confidently: "What you said, I'm already dead!"

"You can die if you want, why do you take me with you?"

"We are good brothers. We don't ask to be born on the same day, month and year, but we ask to die on the same day!"

"I never said that. No, no, no!"

"You can't go even if you want to. The Black and White Impermanence said that Dongqiang is a good person, who does charity, donates money, and has a long life."

Dong Qiang nodded in satisfaction, and Qi Long's next sentence was: "You can only take him in two days!"

"I only live two days longer than you?"

"Okay, let's go. Hey, my two adults, the Rose Garden, my senior brother Guo Degang lives there. The horse farm, my good brother Yu Qian lives there."

"Okay, I'll show you the way!"

"The Black and White Impermanence told me to stop talking nonsense and leave! Then I saw another person (who?), a football commentator (the one who scolded us?), and I said, "Let's take him away? I haven't done any good deeds in my life, so I should do it once before I die!"

"What do you mean?" Dongqiang asked expectantly.

"The two ghost officials said that it's not time for this man to come back. We will come after he is beaten to death!"

“There are still many good people in the world!”

The whole audience burst into laughter. This is the consequence of offending a crosstalk performer. You never know when he will be included in his jokes.

(End of this chapter)