Eunuchs who traveled through the Qing Dynasty

three days!Xiao Ran was so angry that he wanted to greet Xianfeng's mother-in-law ten thousand times.What can you do in three days?Let those eight-banners who eat, drink, whore, gamble, and indulge in sex and sex go to the battlefield?Damn, even the devil training method doesn't work well.But I thought about it again, anyway, a dead pig is not afraid of being scalded by boiling water, so it's the hammer, so I like it.

Just to say that Xiao Ran came out swaggeringly, he met Duan Xingnian outside the Meridian Gate, and he had been waiting for a long time with two tall horses.After all, he was from the Lian family, and he was wrapped in bandages, but he was in good spirits.After careful questioning, this guy did not have any symptoms of low back pain, probably not poisoned, so he was relieved.

The two got on their horses and headed straight to the Eight Banners Army camp in the western suburbs.It was the first time Xiao Ran got up on the horse, if he hadn't walked slowly, and Duan Xingnian helped lift the rein, he probably would have rolled under the horse's hoof.As for the armor, he didn't even dare to wear it. It was a chain-link iron armor, which was worth forty gold.If you wear it, let alone commanding a war, you will feel short of breath after taking two steps.

Urgent by the imperial decree, he ran briskly for an hour, and did not arrive at the Eight Banners camp until his thighs were almost torn.There are nearly 2000 Eight Banners troops stationed here in two battalions, of which there are more than 100 people in the Jianrui Battalion, and less than 800 people in the Firearms Battalion.

As soon as he entered the door, the soldier who guarded the door showed his waist knife: "Get out, be careful that I chop off your head!" It turned out that Xiao Ran and Duan Xingnian were both wearing plain clothes, and the person who guarded the door looked at Xiao Ran young and handsome, and wondered which one it was As for my young master, if he wasn't on duty, he really wanted to tease him.

Before Xiao Ran could speak, Duan Xingnian rolled off his horse and leaped forward with a short body. He didn't see how he made the move, but he saw the soldier rolling somersaults and rolling backwards for a long distance.The other gatekeepers screamed in alarm, and they rushed over with their weapons ready to strike.Duan Xingnian shouted: "Bold! Order the inspector of the Firearms Battalion to come, who dares to mess around?"

The soldiers couldn't help but be skeptical after hearing this.If you say that Duan Xingnian is an imperial envoy, everyone may really believe it, but if you say that Xiao Ran is just a hairless young man, how could he be an imperial envoy?It wasn't until Xiao Ran handed out the imperial decree that he panicked and flew in to report it.

There are two officials guarding the camp in the western suburbs, one is Duanmeng, the wing chief of Jianrui battalion, and the other is E Longze, the wing wing chief of the firearms battalion.Both of these two were high-ranking members of the third rank. They heard that the emperor sent a eunuch to oversee the army early in the morning, so they couldn't help but feel angry.At this time, they were playing chess in the big tent of the Jianrui Camp. When they heard that the imperial envoy had arrived, they looked at each other, but no one wanted to greet them.Er Longze waved his hand, and said impatiently: "An eunuch also wants me to pick him up? It's his mother's daydream! Tell that woman, just say that I'm sick, and I'm letting the camp doctor Duanyi see Let's go!"

The soldier accepted the order embarrassingly, but hesitated and dared not go back.Duanmeng frowned and said, "I'm afraid it's inappropriate? After all, he is an imperial envoy sent by the emperor. Later, he will come to my camp to order some of your hair. What should I do?"

Er Longze sneered and said: "I said, Lao Duan, you have always been smart, and you were confused for a while. He is the inspector of my firearms battalion, and he doesn't care about your Jianrui battalion. Are you afraid of him?"

Duanmeng Maosai suddenly opened up, gave a thumbs up and said: "Gao, old man, you are so fucking tall! Okay, let's give him a show of power and kill his vigor!" He ordered the soldiers to say: "Pass down the order, there is no drill today. , keep an eye on the camp gate. Any bastard who dares to break in, I'll beat him up, son of a bitch!"

Er Longze also ordered his subordinates: "In a while, the stray dog ​​will definitely order to come out and tell the brothers, no one is allowed to move, and they are all kept in bed by me. This is called obeying orders and not obeying orders. Let's see what he will do? Order Mei Yingzuo, hide the roster for me! Damn it, I want to see what clever tricks this dead eunuch has!"

The soldiers received the order and passed it on quickly.Duanmeng laughed, and said: "Old man, you are quite sinister, so all of a sudden, that dog will get out of here within two days!"

"Damn it, I heard that this stray dog ​​would flatter the emperor and the empress. Since he is here today, let him see our methods! He came to supervise Lao Tzu's army before his hair was fully grown? Bah !"

The two laughed for a while and continued playing chess.Sure enough, there was no movement outside the camp until noon, just as dinner was about to be served, suddenly there was a sky-high yell outside the big tent, shouts, gongs and drums, and even clapping and whistling. When it vibrated, it was in the direction of the Firearms Battalion.Both of them were taken aback unconsciously, and thought to themselves, is it the foreign devils calling?Just about to go out to take a look, a soldier ran in angrily: "No, you two generals, go and take a look! There was a commotion at the Firearms Battalion, and the soldiers of the two battalions couldn't control it, so they ran over there to take a look. It's going to be fun!"

"What's the matter, the bastard is going to rebel?" The two were taken aback, raised their shotguns and pistols, and rushed out with a waist knife.

As soon as I got out of the tent, I saw that the officers and soldiers of the battalion had smoked opium, and a swarm of firearm battalions rushed towards them.Thousands of people crowded together and staggered, their steps were chaotic, and everyone who heard it felt dizzy.Duan Meng grabbed a soldier with his hands and shouted: "What are you running, what's going on?"

The soldier was running out of breath, and his straw hat was tilted to one side, and he couldn't stop saying: "General, hurry up, thighs... a lot of thighs... go and see the thighs!"

Duan Meng and E Longze were both taken aback, neither could understand what was going on.But looking at the sound of gongs and drums over there, it doesn't seem like a war.Er Longze said: "Damn, what kind of tricks are you playing, go and see!"

The two of them rushed to the firearms camp with the flow of people, and saw an open space in the camp surrounded by a sea of ​​people on three floors inside and three floors outside.Those who couldn't squeeze in jumped outside in a hurry, and some even climbed on top of other people's heads.I just heard the rhythmic sound of gongs and drums, and the screams were even higher than the waves.

Duan Meng and Er Longze wanted to go in to see what happened, and shouted: "Get out of the way!" But the soldiers were crazy and didn't hear it.A soldier in front scolded: "Fuck your mother, what are you pushing, I put you... ah, General Duan!" He turned his head and got out of the way.Only then did everyone realize that it was the two of them who had come, so they quickly moved out of the way.

After finally squeezing in and taking a look, I felt a rush of blood rushing to my forehead, and I almost fainted on the spot.There was a big red carpet spread out inside, thirty or forty singing and dancing prostitutes in coquettish and revealing clothes, each with bare white thighs, writhing around on the stage while stepping on the beat of drums.There is also a group of Hua Dan who I don’t know where to find them. They poked their heads and poses at those old men who already have peas on their faces and have serious endocrine disorders, and sang in unison: "You are electricity, you are light, your only myth ,I only love you……"

Since the start of the war in Tianjin and the battalion's preparations for war, these soldiers hadn't visited the kilns for a few days, and they were screaming and screaming, already hungry and thirsty to the point of wanting to eat.At this time, I saw so many bewitching women, such unrestrained dancing and singing, I was already fascinated, my eyes were red, and my saliva was so long, I wished I could take off my pants XXOO immediately.

Er Longze's eyes turned black for a while, and just as he was about to rush over to stop it, he saw an extremely handsome son walk into the arena, waving his hands to signal the drums to stop.Seeing the itchy spot, the soldiers shouted loudly: "Go on! Go on!"

Brother Young Master took the opportunity to shout: "Brothers! Are the girls dancing well?"

"Good! Good!" The soldiers roared like thunder.

"Do you want another one?"

"Yes! Yes!"

"Do you want to make out with these girls?"

"Think! Think! Think!" The wolves almost went crazy.

"But!" Brother Young Master suddenly made an extremely painful expression, "Some people don't allow you to have them!"

"Who? If you dare not let me do things, I will kill him alive!"

"Yes, cut him alive!" The soldiers' eyes were red and their expressions were ferocious.

"They are—the foreign devils! Brothers, the foreign devils have already attacked Tongzhou, and they will soon come to Beijing! They not only want to occupy your land, kill your relatives, plunder your money, but also take away your money. Your women! Women, brothers, everyone said, can we bear it?"

"No! Fuck him, fight with me!..."

"Good job! You are the pride of the Qing Dynasty!" Young Master raised his arms and shouted, "Soldiers, go to the foreign devils to wash away your shame! For your women!"

"For our women! For our women!" The roar was like a tsunami, earth-shattering.Countless sharp long knives pointed at the sky, and countless shotguns were raised high.For a time, the color of the sky and the earth changed, and the wind and clouds gathered for it.An astonishing fighting spirit erupted like a small universe.

"Bastard..." E Longze and Duanmeng, who wanted to stop them, just started to shout, when they felt the soldiers behind them rushing over like a flood that opened the gate, and they were instantly rushed to the ground, countless pairs of soldiers The big foot stepped on the body messily...

For a long time, the tent was in full swing.

"Damn it! I didn't expect this bastard to have such a hand, not only you, but even these soldiers in my battalion have been incited! Damn, I almost broke my arm!"

"Yeah! Who knew that this stray dog ​​is so powerful. No, we have to think of a way to deal with him, or else our prestige won't be stolen by him? Fuck, be gentle, I didn't see that my jaw is crooked what?"

"But what to do? This bastard has an imperial edict, so it's really hard to deal with!"

"Don't worry, I have a good idea, this time I must really humiliate him..."

The barracks carnival didn't end until Youshi.It was already dark, and the soldiers were still unsatisfied, they surrounded Xiao Ran persistently.

"Master Imperial Envoy, will these girls come tomorrow?"

"Your Excellency said that when we win the battle, we will let the girls serve us. Does that really count?"

"My lord, when are we going to leave? Or we can start tonight..."

While comforting the soldiers, Xiao Ran said to himself that my mother is so simple, he is born to be a general.Look at how high the morale is and how high the fighting spirit is. If you promise to send a Japanese pussy to one person, it is estimated that you will swim to the mainland of Japan and wipe out the little devils.

Just as YY was so cool, suddenly the soldiers from the Jianrui Battalion came to invite him, saying that Duanmeng and Erlongze had prepared a banquet to clean up the imperial envoy.Duan Xingnian whispered in his ear: "Damn, these two guys must be cheating!"

"Go! Why don't you go if there are delicious food and drink?" Xiao Ran sneered, "Dare to plot against me? I guess this person hasn't been born yet!"

When they arrived at Jianrui Camp, the two wing chiefs were already waiting for the driver at the door.Er Longze bowed respectfully, and said: "The imperial envoy arrived, and the humble officer should have greeted him in person, but the old illness broke out and he couldn't move. I hope the lord will forgive me!"

Xiao Ran smiled and said: "It's okay, it's okay. Today, the imperial envoy specially brought a girl to comfort the two of you. The tits are called a straight one, and the thighs are called a white one. It's a pity that the general is ill, so there is no such thing. Good luck, haha."

Er Longze coughed, feeling very embarrassed.Duan Meng hurriedly smoothed things over and said: "The imperial envoy of labor, the humble ranks will prepare a little wine, and I will welcome you, my lord." He took Xiao Ran into the tent.Xiao Ran looked at it, damn, the ostentation was really not small, all the leaders with higher official positions in the two battalions came, and there were 30 noisy people.There are two rows of seats in the big tent, and there is a long table in the middle. The dishes are quite sumptuous, such as preserved deer, boa constrictor, and flying dragon, all of which are delicacies from the mountains. The aroma is overflowing.With just this table of food, it is estimated that you can't eat such a complete meal in the palace.

Er Longze invited him to sit on the seat, and greeted all the generals.Xiao Ran was very proud of this mouthful of wild game, smelling the tangy aroma, he almost bleed out.After a few perfunctory words, he grabbed the chopsticks and put them on the bear's paw.Suddenly a military general wearing a crystal stone cap stood up and said: "Your Excellency has just come to my Jianrui camp, I'm afraid you don't know the rules of my camp. Can you allow me to report to you?"

This person is the official who went to maintain order on the opening day of the beauty salon, and he is a fifth-rank leader.Seeing his expression, Xiao Ran knew that they were plotting, so he laughed and looked at Duanmeng.Duanmeng deliberately shouted: "Bold! Eunuch Xiao is an imperial envoy sent by the emperor, how can he mess around with you rough people? Don't even think about the knowledge in your stomach, do you still want to embarrass the imperial envoy?"

These words are obviously carrying people, of course Xiao Ran will not fail to understand.If an imperial envoy can't even fight these "uneducated" rough people, who will be able to obey in the future?Frowning and pondering, he said: "The ancients said: Do as the Romans do. It's rare for this adult to have such a taste, so why not talk about it!"

Er Longze turned sideways quickly, and deliberately said in a "very low" voice: "My lord can't agree, it's all their nonsense. If you can't match up, don't you let these bastards laugh at you?"

What the heck!Xiao Ran cursed secretly, but said: "It's okay, Xiao Ran likes to join in the fun by nature, since I am so happy tonight, I will do it according to everyone's wishes!"

Nazuo leader bowed his hands and said: "Since your lord has given you permission, let's talk about humble positions. Our battalion is full of rough people who wield knives and guns, and we admire the most learned people like Mr. Imperial Envoy. So in When we have a banquet in the camp, we have to do a literati game: shooting. If you shoot, there will be wine and meat to eat and drink. If you can’t shoot, I’m sorry, hehe..." Speaking of this, he raised his voice in a demonstration Lift your chin.

Xiao Ran has heard of the game of shooting, but picking things on the wine table, one person says a poem as a riddle, and whoever guesses it, then clicks it out with another poem, it is considered a shot.If he had a fair shot with these simple-minded guys with well-developed limbs, Xiao Ran would not necessarily lose, but today it is clear that the next game is to trick him, and it is not so easy to get a shot.