Why not hang yourself on the southeast tree

Xiaobai expected that Wang Shuo would complain to her mother.

But she never expected that she would be hit hard as soon as she entered the house.

It's a feather duster that's almost bald.

[Look at you, you brought a snake to a blind date, and it bit the boy. How can your parents go out and meet people?! Ah! ]

Xiaobai's mother jumped up and down and yelled, asking why she had never seen her legs and feet so good before and her jumping ability was so great.

[Puff——]

Xiaobai covered his mouth and stuffed the curious Xiaoqing into his pocket.

[You are still laughing, where is your broken snake? Throw it away, quickly! ]

When Xiaobai's mother thought of a snake, she felt uncomfortable all over and her arms were covered with goose bumps.

[Don't believe Wang Shuo's nonsense, it's not true, he and I don't get along, so don't mention it, mom.]

Xiaobai's mother was so angry that she raised the feather duster high and wanted to hit him a few more times.

He was stopped by Old Bai, who felt sorry for his daughter.

[You believe everything others say. You raised your daughter yourself. Don’t you know her temper? If you hurt her, you will be the one who feels bad.]

Lao Bai coaxed the left side and then the right side, without offending either side.

[Xiao Wan, your mother is the most stubborn in her words. Can you give in to her a little? Your mother is in menopause, suffering from postmenopausal syndrome!]

When Lao Bai finished speaking, his voice was extremely low, as if he was afraid of being heard by someone.

[Who is in menopause? You are in menopause! Your whole family is in menopause!!!]

Xiaobai's mother jumped up and down. She happened to be wearing a camel-yellow outfit, and looked like an angry little potato.

[Okay, okay, I'm in menopause, I'm in menopause, my dear wife, please don't be angry! Let's turn on the TV. I've paid for the CEO drama you like to watch. There are no ads, so you can watch it as much as you want! ]

Old Bai, who is always stingy, was unusually generous and half hugged and half embraced Xiao Bai's mother and moved her to the sofa.

One hand was waving behind his back, telling his daughter to come in first.

Oh, it's difficult~

【Hiss~】

[Xiao Qing is so good, she knows how to hide from my mom, hahaha. If you really get caught by her, I can’t save you…]

In the next two days, Xiaobai's mother still treated her as if her nose was not a nose and her eyes were not eyes, and cooked for the two old people.

Thanks to the yellow-robed takeaway guy for his hard work and for delivering four different meals a day, so that the otaku Xiaobai doesn't starve to death in the house.

When Xiaobai’s elementary school classmates learned that he had returned to his hometown, they immediately called him via video early one morning.

[Xiao Wan, my dear Wan Wan, please save me! ]

Xiaobai stared at the half-made-up face opposite him and responded with the face of an old man on the subway.

【Who are you? 】

[Hey Xiaowan, I, Wu Haixia, have you lost your memory after not seeing you for two years? ]

[Oh, look at yourself in the mirror. Can you recognize yourself? ! What did you mean by that just now? Aren't you a good person? Why are you shouting for help? Be careful with your words...]

[Oh, I'm getting married tomorrow, but my bridesmaid had an allergic reaction to crabs last night and has a rash all over her body. I need to find a replacement, and after much thought, you're the most suitable person! You're the only unmarried female student in our class who's still single. Please, can you help me? ! ]

Xiao Bai's face turned a little dark, because his shortcomings were exposed again -

[What does virgin solo mean? I held hands with boys in college, too. You're saying it as if I were like Nun Miejue who is not interested in men...]

【There is a big red envelope~】

[Okay, time, place, oh, I have to wear size L, my chest is big and my waist is thick, I can't fit into size M. ]

Xiaobai paused with his chopsticks, staring at the large bowl of braised beef brisket noodle soup in front of him, and hesitated for a second.

[Got it, got it, mua~ I sent you the specific information on WeChat, you can navigate here by yourself, put on makeup and change clothes when you arrive, go to bed early at noon, just treat it as jet lag, we have to prepare in the middle of the night here, don’t come with dark circles under your eyes, there is not enough foundation...]

Xiao Bai: Women who want to get married will become more talkative, let's take a big mouthful of noodles first.

Well, the rice noodles from my hometown are still more delicious.

【hiss--】

It smells so good, I am so greedy, I want to eat noodles~

[Xiaoqing, you should just stay at home tonight. Bridesmaid dresses are usually long and half-busted, and I don’t have anywhere to put you. Be good, ah~]

【hiss--】

Okay, then I have to hide. Your mother has searched your room up and down several times. Don’t think I don’t know that she is looking for me.

In Xiangxi, the man usually sets out at two or three in the morning, bringing a large motorcade to the bride's home or hotel to pick her up.

So, when Xiaobai woke up to a dozen phone calls, she began to question her life.

[My dear Wanwan, my God, why haven't you come yet? ]

[Hmm, what time is it? It’s still dark…]

[Oh my dear, you must be sleepy, come quickly, I'll ask my sister to wait for you at the door! Come quickly~]

Wu Haixia's voice had risen an octave in anxiety. Xiaobai finally came to his senses, got dressed, washed up, and cleared his mind. Only five minutes had passed.

Before closing the door, she was worried, so she turned around and picked up Xiaoqing, who was sleeping on her belly, from beside the pillow and put her in the drawer.

Her mother had the key to the room, so it was no use locking the door.

Nothing happened all night.

【hiss--】

I am a little snake who is used to getting up early. When my biological clock arrives, I open my eyes and find that everything is still dark.

After climbing for a while, I encountered all kinds of strange little things. Thinking of what Xiaobai said last night, I coiled myself up, dived into the hole in the middle, and continued to take a nap.

You don't know how beautiful Xiao Bai looks in a bridesmaid dress. I was about to pounce on her and give her a big kiss when I was suddenly awakened -

【ah!!!!!!!!!!】

A scream that resounded through the sky exploded above my head.

It’s Xiaobai’s mother!

The quilts and pillows on the bed had all been moved, the closet door was open, and the few clothes that were there were all pushed aside.

Before I could figure out where to escape, the feather duster came down fiercely on my head.

【hiss--】

slip!

Run away in a hurry!

To deal with Xiaobai's mother who is so cruel and loves to jump up and down and hit people, pretending to be dead is just a way to get herself hanged!

The drawers and desks were knocked loudly, and magazines, books and ornaments were thrown out!

【hiss--】

I jumped from the drawer to the desk, and then bounced onto the curtains. I only regretted that God had given me eighteen fewer legs!

[Lao Bai, Lao Bai, come and catch the snake! I’m dying, there’s really a snake! Come quickly!!!]

Xiaobai's mother was angry and scared. She waved a feather duster vigorously, and feathers flew all over the room. She was going to go bald.

Lao Bai is a grown man, but he is extremely afraid of small animals. He hides at the door with an iron pot he just brought from the kitchen on his head and refuses to come in.

[Why not call the police and let them catch the snake! ]

Seeing that his wife was exhausted and looked like a bitch with her eyebrows raised, Lao Bai quickly made a suggestion. He took out his cell phone and dialed 110.

When Xiaobai's mother saw the little snake climbing high up on the curtains, Laobai was scared again and there was really nothing she could do this time.

[Why call 110? Only call the police for murder and arson. To catch a snake, call the fire department, 119! ]

Xiaobai's mother had life experience, so Laobai quickly gave her the phone.