[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Qiao Yu was like a piece of hob meat, and Guanyin Bodhisattva also felt helpless.

With a wave of his hand, he stopped the mortals who were watching.He and his apprentice Mu Zha also recovered their real bodies, and Guanyin Bodhisattva complained a bit: "You have been reincarnated, why do you still remember the things in heaven?"

Qiao Yu spread his hands, "Because I'm immune to Mengpo soup!"

He laughed teasingly: "The Bodhisattva seems very disappointed! You don't mean to take me to the west while I don't remember?"

The Bodhisattva laughed and said, "Mr. Qiao is joking, even if we want to earn you back, the Jade Emperor will not agree!"

After exchanging a few simple greetings, Qiao Yu changed a serious expression, "Bodhisattva, I don't understand something, and I ask Bodhisattva to clarify."

Bodhisattva raised his hand, "Mr. Qiao, please speak."

"What's the matter with Chen Guangrui?" He added, "We are all sensible people, Bodhisattva, don't lie to me."

Guanyin Bodhisattva paused and said, "I intervened in Chen Guangrui's affairs, in order to arrange a bizarre life experience for you."

Qiao Yu curled his lips, "By the way, help me to downplay the fate of my family, so that I can be a monk with peace of mind!"

Guanyin Bodhisattva smiled, neither admitting nor denying it.

Qiao Yu said solemnly: "You interfere with the life and death of mortals at will, disrupt the life chart of mortals, and hinder the official affairs of the underworld. When I return to the heaven, I will negotiate with the Western Tathagata Buddha."

The Bodhisattva sighed helplessly, and confessed to Qiao Yu, "Let me tell you the truth! This matter was instructed by the Buddha. Monkey King does not understand Buddhist scriptures, and it is difficult to achieve a positive result in the West. We will arrange for you to take him to the Western Paradise To learn the scriptures, you also set up nine-nine-eight-one difficulties on the way. You can take him to learn the scriptures, and then hone his mind on the road."

Qiao Yu said: "Bodhisattva, no one arranged this task for me when I came down to earth."

The Bodhisattva smiled and said, "We are old friends, please help!"

Qiao Yu stretched out his hand and spread his palm towards Guanyin Bodhisattva, "What about the benefit fee? Since we are all friends, I can ask for less."

Guanyin Bodhisattva smiled and said: "I came out in a hurry, I will make it up for you next time."

"You can't be an empty-handed white wolf!"

Avalokitesvara waved at Mu Zha, and Mu Zha handed over a Zen stick and a brightly colored cassock.

"Wear my cassock, you won't fall into perdition, you won't go to hell..."

Qiao Yu waved his hand, "Okay, okay, you can save these words to deceive others! I don't dislike you for being stingy, so give me the things!"

Guanyin Bodhisattva refused to give it to him, "You will help me put on a show in a while, and my cassock and Zen staff must be handed over to you in front of the king of Tang."

Qiao Yu hated it very much, "Hey - there are only two things like this, they have no other use except for the bling to attract thieves, you are quite reluctant! Really...Okay! Alright! Hurry up and play, finish it You can go home and have a rest! There is more! Let's be a villain first and then a gentleman. You should be careful in the following 81 difficulties. If something similar to Chen Guangrui happens again, I will have to go to the Tathagata Buddha for help. There's an argument!"

Guanyin Bodhisattva sighed: "Okay! I have promised you! Who asked me to ask someone to do something?"

Qiao Yu cupped his hands and said with a smile, "You have to distinguish between public and private! In private, we are still good friends."

Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva said: "In this case, good friend, help me put on a play!"

Guanyin Bodhisattva undoes the body-holding technique of the audience, erases a short memory of them, and then reappears with Mu Zha.

He asked again: "Monk, do you know Mahayana Buddhism?"

Qiao Yu shouted exaggeratedly: "Teacher, do you know Mahayana Buddhism? Please come up and solve my doubts for us!"

The Bodhisattva climbed onto the high platform and revealed his true body. He stepped on the lotus platform under his feet, and his whole body was shining golden.Qiao Yu felt jealous when he saw it, and when he came back from learning the scriptures, he would also sit on the high platform shining with gold, blinding others' eyes!

The Bodhisattva talked about the benefits of Mahayana Buddhism, and gave the Zen staff and cassock to Tang Seng.

After the Bodhisattva left, the Emperor of the Tang Dynasty was really moved when he thought about the benefits of Mahayana Buddhism that the Bodhisattva had said.Tang Seng went directly to recommend himself, "Your Majesty, the poor monk wants to go to the Western Buddha to obtain the Mahayana scriptures and benefit the people of the Tang Dynasty."

These words just touched the emperor's heart, and he immediately decreed that Tang Seng would be a royal brother, and fully supported Tang Seng to go to the west to learn Buddhist scriptures.

Tang Seng finished the 49-day puja, and then began to pack his luggage.Keep tidying up until... the emperor sent someone to remind him.

Tang Seng saw that someone was coming to remind him, so he had to pack his bags and bid farewell to His Majesty.

In order to express his importance, the emperor sent him to the gate of the city.

Seeing the luggage roll on Tang Seng's back and the big package on the little donkey beside him, His Majesty's face was a little stiff.

"Brother Yu, what have you brought? This little donkey is carrying quite a lot..."

Tang Seng smiled and introduced his travel equipment to the emperor.

"Your Majesty, it is said that the Eastern Land is one hundred and eight thousand miles away from the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. The road is difficult and dangerous, with high mountains and long roads. The poor monk must be fully prepared. Please look, Your Majesty, these are the clothes for the four seasons, the shoes and socks for the four seasons, These are quilts and a simple tent. The poor monk also brought pots and utensils so that he could cook some meals on the road. Oh! There are also water bags. The poor monk heard that there are deserts if you go west! There is no water source there. And the last Important Buddhist scriptures, I have to recite them all the time on the road.”

The emperor also participated in marching and fighting. He looked at Tang Seng's luggage and nodded, "My brother is very thoughtful."

Tang Seng sighed, "The poor monk originally asked someone to make a small compass to guide the direction, but the poor monk was in a hurry to set off, so the matter of the compass can only be forgotten."

The emperor felt a little guilty. If he hadn't sent someone to remind him, Tang Seng would have made more preparations.

The emperor called for an attendant, who held out a mahogany tray.

The emperor said: "This is a document for customs clearance. This is a purple gold bowl for you to use as a meal on the way. There is also a white horse here to strengthen your feet. It is much faster than this donkey."

Tang Seng pretended to be happy and thanked the emperor, "Your Majesty, these few things are very important. The poor monk can throw away all other belongings, and only keep these three things to reach the west."

The emperor was a little guilty. Except for the customs clearance document, the other two Tang monks had already prepared substitutes, and his reward seemed dispensable.

The emperor gave Tang Seng another name of Sanzang, and then asked him to sprinkle some soil in the wine when he drank the farewell wine.

The smile on Tang Seng's face gradually disappeared, he passed the wine glass to his mouth, and finally poured the wine without holding back.

"Your Majesty, drinking like this is too unhygienic. What if someone has ever spit on the ground?"

Emperor: You put it that way, I can't even drink the glass of wine in my hand...

The disgusted emperor drove Tang Seng away without saying anything, and hurried back to the palace with his guard of honor.

Yang Jian walked up to him wearing a veiled hat, "Look, King Tang was disgusted by you and left."

Tang Seng tilted his head and smiled, "It's fine if Brother Zhenjun doesn't think I'm disgusting!" He snapped his fingers, "Let's go! Brother will take you on a trip!"

The road is high and the road is long, and the road is difficult, but these are nothing to Tang Seng and Yang Jian.

The two soon arrived at Liangjie Mountain. Just when they reached the foot of the mountain, they heard someone shouting, "My master is here! My master is here!"

Tang Seng and Yang Jian looked at each other, followed the sound, and quickened their pace to go there.

There were moss and weeds on Sun Wukong's head and arms, and there were thick dirt on his hands and arms. Tang Seng frowned when he saw it, "Sun Wukong, why did you look like this?"

Sun Wukong's joyful expression turned blank, "Do you recognize me?" He sized Qiao Yu up, "You look familiar..."

Tang Seng squatted beside him, took out a clean cloth towel and wiped his hair and hands.

"I'm the head of the personnel department, Qiao Yu." Tang Seng pointed to Yang Jian, "This is Yang Jian."

Sun Wukong waved his hand to prevent Qiao Yu from helping him clean his hair.

"It's really a narrow road to Yuanjia! Are you happy to see Lao Sun's current appearance?"

Qiao Yu stuffed the cloth towel into his hand, "Be reasonable, you are arrested, can you rely on me?"

"Why don't you blame me? The people who arrested me time and time again are all your subordinates! Kong Xuan, Yang Jian, and you! Can you still say that it has nothing to do with you?"

Sun Wukong pointed to the nearby area, "Look at what I have lived in these 500 years? If you hadn't arrested me then, I would have escaped the happy life long ago!"

Qiao Yu patted him on the head, "You are quite reasonable! You shouldn't have escaped from the lower world in the first place, but you just fattened the horse and had a little conflict with your colleagues. At most, you will be punished without vacation for a few years. You are lucky, evading responsibility, leaving the Heavenly Court, and finally dare to make a big disturbance in the Heavenly Palace! The more troubles become bigger, and you dare to blame me for meddling? Tell you, you will take advantage of the people from our personnel department! You think the Heavenly Court Are they all idiots? You were not even born when they rebelled!"

Sun Wukong rolled his eyes and said nothing, still looking very unconvinced.

Yang Jian stood aside and asked: "Qiao Yu is now the Tang monk who went to the west to learn scriptures. You have been suppressed under the mountain for 500 years, and you have repaid the mistakes you made. If you want to go back to Huaguo Mountain to be your happy king, The two of us can make the decision and let you go. If you want to go to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures, and if you want to seek refuge in the West in the future and achieve a positive result, we can also take you away. You choose!"

Sun Wukong thought for a while, "Will I be able to achieve a positive result if I go to the west with you?"

Qiao Yu said with a smile: "The 500 years at the foot of the mountain have not been in vain! You are much smarter than before, and you know how to bargain! I can't decide what to do in the West. I can only say that you have a chance to achieve a positive result. As for the result How, depends on your fortune."

Sun Wukong curled his lips, "There is nothing to do, why should I follow you!"

Qiao Yu spread his hands, "You can also go back to Huaguo Mountain! I didn't force you!"

Qiao Yu could see that Monkey King wanted to make a career out of self-confidence in his ability.It's just that he was unlucky when he first entered the Heavenly Court, and he didn't find a suitable guide to let him understand the workplace of the Heavenly Court.In addition, he is used to being undisciplined, and he is quite proud of his own abilities, so he has always been unconvinced by the punishment of the Heavenly Court, which made him cause such a big disaster.

After thinking about it, Qiao Yu also felt that he was pitiful, so he simply explained to Monkey King.

"Let me tell you the truth! The West has always admired you. This time I went to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures, in fact, to give you training. I think the West is very sincere. As long as you follow the rules, you can live a very happy life in the West." Well, we will definitely be able to do a great job. Of course, our journey to the West will not be peaceful. We have to walk instead of flying directly. There will be many disasters along the way. As long as your performance is qualified, you will be able to It's been done right."

Sun Wukong lowered his head and thought for a while, while Qiao Yu and Yang Jian sat aside and waited patiently.

After a while, Monkey King stretched out his hand and thumped the ground, "I'll follow you!"

Qiao Yu asked, "Have you decided?"

"It's decided! My old grandson wants to see how good the west is! If it's not good, I'll turn around and leave when I get to the west."

Qiao Yu nodded with a smile, "Okay! I'm going to take off the pressure sticker on the top of the mountain now."

Yang Jian and Qiao Yu climbed to the top of the mountain, took off the stickers, and left Liangjie Mountain with the white horse.Monkey King felt that the force pressing on his body disappeared, and he struggled hard, and the mountain fell and the ground cracked immediately.

Qiao Yu and Yang Jian lit a fire in the distance, set up a small pot, stewed a pot of wild vegetable soup, and baked some steamed buns.

After a while, Monkey King came over wearing clean clothes.

Qiao Yu asked, "Why do your clothes look so familiar?"

Monkey King: "Just now you and Yang Jian climbed the mountain, I took it from your bag."

He kowtowed to Qiao Yu respectfully, "Master, although I don't like you very much, I promised Guanyin Bodhisattva to worship you as my teacher and let you go to learn scriptures, so I will worship you!"

Qiao Yu: "...You remove the sentence that you don't like me very much, and you still dare to speak ill of me in my clothes! I have been a heartthrob since I was born, you will remember it for me in the future!"

Yang Jian scooped up a bowl of soup and handed it to Monkey King.

Sun Wukong took it and was about to drink it, "Thank you! I haven't eaten normal food for a long time!"

Qiao Yu stopped him, "Who asked you to drink it? Yang Jian asked you to use soup instead of tea, and give me tea!"

"..." Sun Wukong curled his lips and reluctantly handed over the soup bowl, "Teacher for tea."

Qiao Yu took a sip from the soup bowl, "My current apprentice! It's really not as good as the previous generation, and someone else has to cook the soup to serve tea. Remember, you will do all the cooking in the future. If it doesn't taste good, you will Go back to your hometown and bring the monkey!"

Monkey King asked: "Are you finished?"

"Master can't stand it after just a few words..." Qiao Yu rolled his eyes at him, "Come and eat! This pot of soup is for you, and there are baked buns over there."

Sun Wukong sat down to eat and drank a bowl of hot vegetable soup. His body that had been pressed down the mountain for more than 500 years seemed to warm up.

After eating, the bowls and chopsticks were cleaned up, the stove was extinguished, and the three Tang monks continued on their way to the west.

After crossing the Liangjie Mountains and walking into the dense forest, a beautiful tiger blocked Tang Seng and his group's way.

The white horse sent by the emperor of the Tang Dynasty was so frightened that its legs were weak and it couldn't stand up.Sun Wukong felt that he had just been apprenticed to his master, so he should be more diligent, so he rushed over and said to Tang Seng: "Master, stand behind, let me beat this evil person to death!"

Tang Seng stopped him, "We monks are merciful, even a tiger is a life! In this case, you have to influence this tiger."

He stepped forward, pointed at the tiger and shouted, "Hey! Bold tiger, do you know who I am? You dare to come and eat me?"

Yang Jian exuded a trace of coercion cooperatively, and the tiger ran away with its tail between its tails, frightened by Yang Jian's immortal energy.

Tang Seng turned to Sun Wukong and said, "Did you see it? Have you been influenced by me?"

Sun Wukong: ...I made a mistake, I should go back to Huaguo Mountain!I'm afraid this master is not a fool!