too embarrassing

"I always think that restraining emotions is a kind of human dignity."

——Fu Weici

Recently, Niu Keqing's work has become more and more heavy, and the previous medical troubles have had a great impact, and he has encountered a bottleneck period in his career.

Despite his busy schedule, he still finds time every day to visit his seriously ill teacher.Seeing the old man getting thinner and thinner, he was obviously extremely sad, but he still managed to hold on to his smile and spread his optimism to the old man.

At the beginning, Niu Keqing wanted to cry when he came out of the ward.Later, crying turned into smoking, smoking one by one until the uncomfortable energy in my heart eased.

In this way, life became difficult. The pressure at work was overwhelming, and his teacher was seriously ill. Everything that went wrong was a straw on Niu Keqing's back, which could crush him at any time.

As a result, Dr. Niu began to suffer from insomnia and loss of appetite, and he lost a lot of weight at a speed visible to the naked eye.

That night, Guifenin touched his waist, and his hand was squeezed by the protruding bone, and he frowned immediately: "Why did you lose so much weight?"

"Maybe it's because I've been eating lightly recently," Niu Keqing said perfunctorily.

Guifenin was silent, his light blue eyes gradually became darker, and there was even some impatience in them.

He could tell at a glance that Niu Keqing was lying, this wasn't the look of eating lightly at all, it was the look of not being able to eat, and there wasn't much meat left on his face.

Looking at Dr. Niu's haggard and gloomy face, the silk thread on Dr. Gu's chest was pulled, and the man suddenly became irritable, and grabbed him from the bed, "I won't do it."

"Don't do it?"

"Get spoiled by someone."

"..." Niu Keqing thought that the other party disliked that his body was not as good-looking as before, and felt a little unspeakable grievance.

Unexpectedly, Guifenin threw the clothes in front of him, and raised his chin to signal him to put them on: "You have to feed this cow that doesn't eat first."

"But I'm not hungry." Niu Keqing looked at him in disbelief. He had already sharpened his gun before the battle, and he could still take a break to eat?

What's the new palate?

Doctor Gu, who has always been a spring breeze, seems to be angry, his two handsome eyebrows are twisted into knots, and his tone is also firm: "You have to eat if you are not hungry."

Niu Keqing muttered while putting on his clothes: "I have no appetite."

"Then eat something to nourish the stomach." Gu Yifenen's tone softened, he opened the phone page and pressed a few times, and said, "I ordered a takeaway for you, abalone and seafood porridge, you have to drink it even if you pinch your nose." go down."

Niu Keqing: "..."

After half an hour.

Dr. Niu looked at the big pot of porridge in front of him with mixed emotions... yes, it was a "pot", a whole big casserole.

"I can't finish it..." He cast an old father's look at Gu Yifenen, "Why do you ask for so much, isn't this a waste of money?"

"I added 100 yuan to ask the boss to give me more decorations." Dr. Gu scratched the corner of his eyebrows in embarrassment, "I didn't expect the boss to be so generous."

Niu Keqing sighed helplessly, got up and walked into the kitchen, he is already a frequent visitor to this house, and he is familiar with everything here.

He brought two bowls and a white porcelain spoon, and served a bowl of porridge for himself, and a bowl for Guifenin.

"Let's eat together, Doctor Gu."

"I ate dinner and am not hungry."

"If someone eats with me, I will have more appetite." Niu Keqing tugged at his wrist, with a soft and gentle tone that was irresistible.

Gu Yvening smiled lightly, sat down next to him, picked up the spoon obediently, and drank the porridge one bite at a time.

While drinking, he raised his eyes and saw that the heat of the porridge permeated between their faces, reminding him of that day——

Niu Keqing sat on the bench under the tree and smoked, his face was obscured by the lingering smoke, but it was not difficult to notice the dazzling red around the eye sockets.

Thinking of this, Guifenin seemed to have lost his appetite. He slowed down his porridge, rested his elbows lazily on the table, and pretended to casually chat with the other party: "What's the matter with you recently?"

The other party has always looked like a dark cloud recently, and he looks upset and an eyesore.

"It's nothing," Niu Keqing knew what he was asking, but didn't say much.

Thinking of what happened recently, the man lowered his thin eyelids, and his thick eyelashes covered half of his eyeballs, covering up the expression in his pupils.

At this time, Dr. Niu seems to be able to easily make people feel affectionate.

"Come on, you look so half-dead, it seems that you have something on your mind," Guifenin stirred the porridge in the bowl with a spoon, and spoke casually, in fact, he was catching the other party to answer him.

Niu Keqing raised his eyes and looked at him fixedly: "Doctor Gu, do you care about me?"

Gu Yvening's eyes narrowed, and he pretended to laugh contemptuously, "Look, I'll just say you're a little abnormal, otherwise why would you ask such a boring question?"

After finishing speaking, he actually felt a little guilty, feeling that he was the abnormal one. After all, the word "caring" was too inappropriate for the two sex friends.

They had agreed a long time ago that they would never interfere with each other's private life when they left the bed. How could he have the leisure to care about a friend with benefits?

"This kind of question is quite boring, so I won't ask it." Niu Keqing casually wanted to end the conversation, "You don't have to ask about my affairs."

Even if the other party asked, he wouldn't say it.

In fact, it’s not impossible to say, it’s just some things in life and work——

Life and death, money, rice, oil and salt, whether it is big or small, is something that every adult in the social torrent will meet, and no one can escape.

It's just that all kinds of miscellaneous things are piled up together, like a long and smelly foot wrap, and I can't finish a sentence or two.It's better not to say it, so as not to pour bitter water endlessly.

What's more, they are just two friends with guns who keep a certain distance. Sharing negative emotions for each other is not one of the obligations of friends with guns.

Seeing that Niu Keqing didn't speak anymore, Gu Yifenen guessed that he really didn't intend to say anything, so he gave himself a step down: "I don't ask about your private affairs, but..."

He said this in a hurry, "but" for a long time, but there was no reason for "but", and finally threw a sentence: "You'd better make yourself fatter, skinny, it will affect my hand feeling."

This was said high and high, like an order that cannot be refuted, but the temperature hidden inside is quite heartwarming. Niu Keqing smiled and nodded: "Yes, I see."

The only sound left in the room was the sound of two people drinking porridge.

Niu Keqing had no appetite at first, but the seafood porridge was delicious and warm enough to warm his stomach. He finished the second bowl before he knew it, and set off for the third bowl.

Dr. Gu's 100 yuan was not wasted. The boss added a lot of scallops to the porridge, which Dr. Niu liked very much.

As for Guifenin, he was still at the stage of the first bowl. The man was absent-minded, thinking logically in his mind:

Although "Niu Keqing is in a bad mood" is not worthy of his attention, but since this incident has caused Niu Keqing to lose weight day by day, which has affected his sense of experience in bed, it means——

"Niu Keqing is in a bad mood", he has to take care of it.

Thinking of this, Guifenin started to stir the porridge in the bowl with a spoon again, scratching the bottom of the bowl with the edge of the spoon, and kept turning.

The man opened his mouth, hesitant to speak, and he spent 10 minutes just thinking about the wording.

After hesitating for a while, Gu Yifening still pretended to say casually: "Doctor Niu, if you encounter something difficult, you can ask me for help at any time. If I can help... I will definitely—"

Before he could finish his sentence, Niu Keqing, who had been silent for a long time, suddenly interrupted him, "Doctor Gu, don't be too nice to me."

Guifenin was startled.

The spoon in his hand also stopped.

A simple sentence clearly draws the boundary, and the Chuhe-Han boundary is no different.

Niu Keqing knew that Gu Yifening's kindness to him was out of gentlemanly demeanor, not out of liking.

From their acquaintance to the present, most of the time it was Gu Yifen who took the initiative to show his favor. He would say something nice to Niu Keqing, treat him tenderly and considerately, help him block his fists, carry him down the stairs, and call him together Eat supper, approach him when he is vulnerable...

So good, so good, so good that Niu Keqing was terrified and even at a loss.

Perhaps in terms of love, Dr. Gu is too "pure" person, he doesn't know that his behavior will always inadvertently tease the other person's heart, or, he knows that he is teasing people, but he is unwilling to take responsibility.

The final evil result can only be borne by the heart-beating party.

Niu Keqing was sincere and terrified.

If this continues, he will have a misunderstanding, and will regard the other party's actions as giving, and then repay the other party desperately.

He will still be foolishly self-sentimental, and he will like him crazily, and then... there is really no turning back.

So at this moment, Niu Keqing suddenly wanted to be more selfish. He didn't want to be the one who was pushed away last, so he decided to be the one who pushed the other party away first.

It is a low-level self-protection.

Under the lamp, Niu Keqing stared at Gu Yifening, and said with a choked voice: "You can be nice to anyone in the world, but I am different. Our relationship... can easily become awkward. You don't need to do too much for me." Much, even if only out of kindness."

The atmosphere suddenly became stiff.

The two men looked at each other deeply, each with its own meaning, and neither of them could understand the other.

After a while, Guifenin looked away from him, and his tone was no longer as soft as before: "I thought that showing kindness to a depressed person is the most basic moral quality, but now it seems that kindness is not necessarily treated by others." See."

There was still more than half of the porridge in his bowl, and it had completely cooled down.The man dropped the spoon in his hand, and the white porcelain collided with the edge of the bowl with a crisp sound, which startled Niu Keqing's heart.

After a pause, Niu Keqing wanted to say something to ease the atmosphere: "I..."

Guifenin didn't want to listen to him, so he stood up, his blue eyes were cold and cold, "You can go after eating. Put the things on the table, and I will clean them up tomorrow morning."

After finishing speaking, the man kicked away the chair that hindered his feet, turned around and returned to the room, and slammed the door without looking back.

With a "click", Niu Keqing heard the sound of the door being locked, and suddenly regretted what he had said.

If cold water is poured on good intentions, anyone would be angry.

Look, now there is no one to drink porridge with.

Niu Keqing couldn't eat anymore, so he sat quietly at the dining table, staring blankly at the steaming porridge, as if there were thousands of silk threads in his heart, tangled into a knot indiscriminately.

Is it seeking benevolence to obtain benevolence, or is it self-inflicted?

After sitting like this for an unknown amount of time, the grains of rice in the porridge sank to the bottom, and the last ray of heat disappeared, but the knot in his heart... still couldn't be untied.

Or, go coax?

Niu Keqing stood up, walked outside Gu Yifening's room, and stood silently for a while.He looked at the door panel alone, imagining what the people inside were doing.

Perhaps by tomorrow morning, Dr. Gu will naturally calm down. After all, the relationship between them has never been that of playing petty temper with each other.

Then they will continue to put all their attention on each other's body as before, and only have sex with each other. Other than that, they don't care about each other and don't interfere with each other.

Thinking of this, Niu Keqing suddenly felt lonely.

After a while, he raised his hand and carefully knocked on the door with his knuckles. His lips were almost touching the door, and he called softly, "Doctor Gu?"

No one should.

Niu Keqing pursed his lips, and knocked lightly on the door a second time: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those words to you."

Still no answer.

He knocked on the door lightly for the third time again, with a voice that seemed to come out of his heart: "Thank you for your kindness, thank you for being kind to me."

But the people inside the door still didn't answer him.

Niu Keqing lowered his hands in frustration, and didn't continue to knock on the door, but stood outside the door silently for a full hour, like a sinner facing the wall and thinking about his past.

Just self-punishment.

Because he still didn't get a response from Guifenin, he hesitated for a long time, and didn't even dare to say the last thing he wanted to say——

But if you are kind to me, it is not because of your basic qualities, not because of your kindness to everyone...

How awesome that would be.