Schrödinger's straight man

Festivals always go by very fast and very slow, Fang Qilian and Yao Xian'er can't wait to set off to meet Yao Ruolin before it gets dark.Yaoxian'er moved to the capital with her family, and rarely returned to her hometown except to visit relatives and friends. She didn't know anything about the high-tech zone that had only been developed in recent years.However, there are so many real estate projects under construction, there are walls and high-rise buildings that have not been sealed everywhere, and relying on the height of the sky and the emperor's distance, they randomly set up roadblocks to seal off the trails. Fang Qilian drove the Maserati as if he was trapped in the wilderness. Dodge exposed sewer pipes before they scrape through the undercarriage of his car.

Yaoxian'er was wearing armor, holding a dagger and a helmet in her arms, breathless: "Why haven't you arrived yet, do you know the way?"

The heater in Fang Qilian's car was too hot, and he was sweating profusely. He rolled up the hem of his scholar's robe into his belt, and stepped on the gas pedal with his bare legs: "I don't know you! Who told you that I know you? The headquarters in the south of the city, I know you." I go often, I have never been to this rural place in the north of the city!"

Yao Xianer let out a "hey" and teased Fang Qilian with a Beijing movie "you" come "you" go, slapped his face swollen to pretend to be fat, and didn't even know the address, so he dared to go to a strange place to find Yao Ruolin, trying to give him something unexpected surprise.Isn't this going to the hut with a lantern, looking for death!

"I checked the map. Who knew that there was a wall built in the middle of that road, and it wasn't marked." Before Fang Qilian set off, he made a special trip to search the various electronic maps for how to drive in the shortest time. Baidu taught him to take a road that was almost impossible. A straight cut.Seeing that it was about to arrive, a wall of gray bricks and blue tiles stood in the middle, dividing a road into two sections, blocking water, leaving no dog hole.

He was so angry that he scolded his mother, but he had no choice but to take a brick wall inlaid with glass shards on the edge and couldn't climb it. He had to turn nearby, taking it for granted that he could go around in an arc, but ended up wrapping himself in a maze, unable to tell east, west, south, north.

When the sun was setting, the patience of the two of them was completely exhausted, and Yao Xian'er couldn't help squatting in the car and calling Yao Ruolin for help.Yao Ruolin was changing clothes in the rest room of the office at the moment. Imitating the hero Jack of the Titanic, he buttoned up his suspenders outside his shirt and put on a long coat that didn't fit very well.

He was just about to use a disposable hair dye spray to turn his black hair into golden yellow, when he heard that two friends were lost in the wilderness, and there was a wild dog that looked like a wolf staring at him next to the sports car, so he hurried out without continuing to dress up. the door.

Because of this little accident, Yao Ruolin left early, but was late for more than an hour when he arrived at the Sailboat Bar. The dance floor was full of monsters and ghosts, with heavy makeup, and he couldn't tell what the other party was even if he stood far away, let alone find Gui Yanan and the others.

Fortunately, Yaoxian'er had a bet with Gui Yanan, and he suggested Yao Ruolin to play Jack in order for Gui Yanan to play Ruth. It is very easy to find a fat "woman" wearing a champagne-colored waistcoat among the crowded crowd.

A general of the Qin Dynasty, a white-faced scholar, and a modern person, together, the time span is quite large.With light makeup on, Gui Yanan, whose chest was plump and straight, saw the fake Meng Tian holding a sword from a distance, stood up and kept waving at Yao Xian'er, and shouted with a British accent: "come on here!"

Fang Qilian was taken aback, and said in horror, "Why are there still pretending to be ghosts?"

Gui Yanan was well dressed in a black dress, but his beard was not clean, and Yao Ruolin didn't dare to look at it for too long. Moses pushed through the crowd like a sea, and sat down next to the flowery Ruth , without squinting, just asked him: "You have such a body shape, why don't you pretend to be Concubine Yang?"

"I didn't borrow any clothes." Gui Yanan explained, "I even tried Snow White, and my daughter was so scared that she cried, saying that I was like a witch's stepmother."

Everyone laughed and said that you are also like a witch now.

Gui Yanan said resentfully: "A witch is a witch, I have to go up to dance later, I'm afraid that everyone in the bar will look at me, and I will be ashamed." Putting his face in front of his brothers and girlfriends, he said, "Make up for me. Make it thicker, put a mole here."

"It's pretty, it's not shameful." Yao Ruolin wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, and said with duplicity, "I just came in and saw an alien in a leather suit, so realistic that it was a bit disgusting. You compare him like this , it’s really nothing.”

As he spoke, he pointed to the gray mass at the oblique corner, an alien, a Frankenstein wearing glasses, a Hannibal, a forensic doctor in a white coat with corpse spots on his face, and several zombies.Put together a doomsday movie.

There seemed to be a sense over there, and their gazes shot over. Yao Ruolin immediately withdrew his hand, lowered his head and pretended to drink orange juice.

Qin Shaoyou scratched the place where the special effect makeup was painted on his face, called the name of the alien on the opposite side, and said, "Can you change seats with Yutou? I keep staring at you, and I feel a little scared."

The protagonists of this group of doomsday movies are all members of his dormitory, just chatting about Sakura Fukixue and his past messes, when Yutou came back from the bathroom and said that he met a person who looked exactly like Sakura Fukixue, and pointed at The table where someone wears armor indicates that they are inside the group.Their curiosity was aroused in an instant, and they looked at the table and pestered Qin Shaoyou to ask, who looks like Ying Chuixue?Who looks like the bright moon in "Light of the fireflies, dare to compete with the bright moon"?

Qin Shaoyou caught a glimpse of Yao Ruolin, who was dressed most normally, but he didn't want to startle the snake, so he replied perfunctorily, "The one with the best looks."

Yutou added with mouth shape: "A woman's face, a woman's face..."

The alien and Frankenstein looked at Gui Yanan, who was flirting with his head, exchanged glances secretly, and thought at the same time: "Why is Ying Chuixue unshaven, big and thick? She looks far worse than Su Qianxun. The president of the dog has a really good taste." Heavy..."

Qin Shaoyou didn't know that they had identified the wrong person. Seeing that their faces were ugly as if they were constipated, he asked, "What's the expression of one and two? What the hell?" Turning around and peeking at Yao Ruolin, Fang Qilian dragged him to dance on the dance floor. He is very eye-catching everywhere.

The alien immediately opened his eyes and said nonsense: "No, no... Your concubine is so gorgeous that my soul is captured by him."

Others nodded in agreement: "Beautiful appearance, unparalleled in the world."

Yutou didn't realize that there was a misunderstanding, so he sighed and said: "No matter how beautiful a woman is, she is not a woman with big breasts and fat buttocks, what a pity that face." Because Yao Ruolin is Qin Shaoyou's concubine, and Qin Shaoyou is his brother, he hid it for a while. "If it was a woman, I would like her too."

A zombie dressed up couldn't hold back and asked implicitly, "Then who do you think is ugly?"

Qin Shaoyou and Yutou said in unison: "The one next to him!"

Everyone was taken aback, amazed that there is a world of difference in aesthetics from person to person.The zombie secretly photographed Yao Ruolin's side face, the light was dim, and the photo seemed to be covered with a layer of veil, even though the facial features were not clear, the outline was still clear, like watching a nocturnal peony through the fog.

From the bottom of his heart, he felt that President Dog and Yutou were different from ordinary people, and when he found that many people were giving drinks to the beauty pretending to be Jack, he suddenly said: "Let's bet on today's drink money? President Dog and Yutou are going to strike up a conversation with Sakura." The friend next to Fuxue, bet on who can get the phone number. The wrong party will settle the bill."

Qin Shaoyou didn't dare to flirt with Yao Ruolin even if he was beaten to death, and he refused straight away: "I won't participate, let Yutou strike up a conversation. If the conversation is successful, I will pay for the continuation of the share."

Yutou Qianbai said: "Why should I go? I am willing to go alone to hook up with beauties. You have to take turns to hook up with such... weird shapes." Get in touch first.

Qin Shaoyou ordered a few cocktails as if he was watching a show, and sent them to Yao Ruolin's table, giving Yutou, who bears the brunt of the blow, a big boost.The fish head was biting a thorned rose, squeezed two empty glasses in one hand, walked over with brandy in the other, and took the lead in changing a wine glass into a rose, and a rose into a wine glass trick, and said gently and gentlemanly: "I don't mind, I Shall I share a seat with you?"

As soon as he finished speaking, Fang Qilian stared straight at him, oops, and said in a strange tone: "Isn't this Mr. Yu? The world is so small, we two are really destined."

The author has something to say:

Yutou: What the hell?I slipped, you hold on.

Qin Shaoyou: Have a good journey...