people outside of time

That vicious incident attracted the attention of the school, and Lin Yi was ordered to drop out of school. For this reason, Lin's father not only knew that his son was gay, but also lost all the high hopes placed on him.

Lin's father beat Lin Yi, held his head and hit him on the coffee table, the lens was smashed, and blood gurgled down from the wound cut by the lens. A small scar.

It was only a few minutes away from the supermarket to the house. When Lin Yi came home, his father was dusting. Ten years ago, he came back in such a mess and said to him, "Dad, I was expelled from school."

But today what he said was: "Dad, I resigned?"

Father Lin stopped what he was doing, and glanced at him indifferently: "Then what are you going to do?"

Every time before when I left home, when I explained where I was going, the expression on my father's face was as calm and unchanged as if he just heard him say that he was going to go to the street or go for a walk.

"I haven't made up my mind yet. I'll have a look on the street in two days. I'll talk about it if I find something suitable."

Father Lin didn't say anything, just rubbed the rag, and then started to wipe the dining table again.

His father may never have a heart-to-heart with him, nor will he show a loving side like other fathers, let alone say a few soft words when he suffers setbacks or encounters grievances.It seemed that he was completely disappointed with this son, and he no longer restrained him. In fact, he had no way of doing anything, and he was helpless.

Lin Yi consciously picked up the broom and carefully cleaned the dust on the floor. When he walked past his father, he unconsciously asked, "Are you tired at work? Why do you feel that you have lost a lot of weight?"

"It's not that tired, but the food is not good. The food in the fast food restaurant is not oily, so it's not as good as at home."

In two years' time, Father Lin will be sixty, and still working at the construction site at such an age is nothing more than his incompetence and the birth of an even more incompetent son.

Lin Yi has blamed himself a lot for this, but the limitations of his personal ability are there, even if he wants to work hard, he can't.I have to admit that he is also one of the spoiled generation who does not seek to make progress.

The next morning, Lin's father asked Lin Yi if he wanted to go back to the countryside with him. It was just because he still missed the few fruit trees at home. He could bring them back to the town to eat slowly, or pick them up and give them away as a favor. I just don't want to be picked up quietly, and I haven't said anything good yet.

It seemed that Father Lin planned to live in the country for a few days, and when he got home, he took out the bedding to dry in the sun. It took some effort to clean the inside and outside, and lunch was delayed until one or two o'clock.

Uncle Jin Shui came to sit at home for a while, then turned around and brought some self-brewed water wine, which can be drunk or cooked.

I made two dishes at noon, bought some beef offal from the market and stir-fried it with green peppers, and picked some wild water spinach on the field ridge in the backyard. This is the habit of Lin's father for many years. collocation.

Their family has been able to drink for generations, and Lin's father would usually take Lin Yi to have a few drinks together, and talk about important family and country affairs that have nothing to do with them.And the atmosphere of this day is obviously not right, maybe it's because of the age when Lin's father said it was his whole life.

"Others only suffer for a lifetime in a lifetime, but I suffer in two lifetimes in a lifetime..."

These words were not exaggerated in the slightest, Lin Yi listened quietly, under his father's endless sighs, his heartache and guilt spread into the marrow of his bones.

What happened the day before made him go through the baptism of memories several times, which made him feel a little disappointed physically and mentally.Seeing this man's weak side now, those regrets became less important.

The home-brewed water and wine had a lot of stamina. After eating, Father Lin went back to his room and snored loudly after a while.

Pour out the bitterness accumulated over the years, and now I can probably sleep well.

Lin Yi walked back to the room, staring at the carved old bed in a daze for a while.The yellowed curtain hanging on the top of the bed, after experiencing dozens of rainy seasons and humidity, had spots of spots, and the clusters of yellow spots seemed to be smudged out, revealing simplicity and antiquity.

The wall of the bed is inlaid with more than a dozen pieces of porcelain with carefully carved patterns. The porcelain pieces are either round or square, depicting green mountains and green waters or houses with smoke and smoke.

Lying on the bed, the bed board creaked, a sound I was used to hearing in childhood, and there was no danger of breaking.He skillfully lit a cigarette, and the smell of Heilanzhou was like straw burned in autumn, strong but steady.

He lay down along the edge of the bed, and on the wall at the head of the bed was a picture of Jimmy with double-sided tape. There were a few lines of scrawled writing on it, which was already foggy now.

Maybe it was last time, or maybe it was left over from the last time he came home—

When a person walks away, he becomes a poet. He can write words that weep with regret, have recurring dreams, and occasionally sing songs that are no longer remembered. He is full of interest without an audience.

These words are more beautifully written than Nanshan's.

Xie Yi said: "If I knew that the consequences of doing that would be so serious, then I would definitely change the way. After all... Lin Yi did nothing wrong."

Qian Duoduo just clenched his fists and remained silent. He was unable to express his state of mind at the moment, and he didn't know what position to use to speak.

"Duoduo, what is your relationship with Lin Yi now?"

what relationship?

Before that, he and Lin Yi were considered lovers, but now things seem to have become a lot more complicated, and even he himself can't figure out what the relationship is.

Qian Duoduo smiled wryly and shook his head, not knowing how to answer.

Born in this era when there are no letters and no waiting, words can be delivered to each other in an instant even if they are thousands of miles apart.Those things that can cause mutual barriers will no longer exist. People are open and frank. Unless they deliberately bury misunderstandings and think about making mistakes again and again, they will never lose each other by blocking communication.

As long as the heart is close, nothing can be called a matter.

Qian Duoduo has been immersed at home for half a month, and occasionally when he goes down to the supermarket, his eyes will unconsciously fall to the side door.

During this period, he thought about sending a message to Lin Yi, thinking of himself as his big brother Qian Nanshan, or saying "I'm sorry" to him for Xie Yi, but he didn't know what he was afraid of, and he longed to see him in his heart. But he was afraid to see him again.

Any forbearance has a critical point. Taking advantage of a certain opportunity to erupt recklessly like a volcano, the magma in Qian Duoduo's heart finally boiled to the extreme. One night, he knocked on the door of Lin Yi's house.

Before he came here, he made a lot of drafts. First of all, he must apologize for his impulsiveness that day. In fact, he already regretted it when he swung that punch; secondly, his elder brother Qian Nanshan must clarify what happened back then, even if he will be punished for it. Discrediting Xie Yi; the last thing he and Lin Yi had to talk about...

Before going upstairs, he took a special look at the fourth floor. The lights in the room were not turned on. He lingered for a while and wanted to turn around and go back, but he finally got up the courage. If he just returned without success, he didn’t know how long it would take. To come here again.

Finally arrived at the door of Lin Yi's house, knocked on the door, but there was no movement in the house.

After repeated several times, the result was still the same, so he dialed Lin Yi's cell phone.

I don't want to... He actually accepted it.

There was a whistling sound on the other end of the phone, as if on the road, Qian Duoduo asked, "Where are you?"

"I'm working now."

"What class do you have?"

“Meituan takeaway.”

Lin Yi once laughed at himself, saying that he was the type of person who would starve to death if he didn't go to work for a month.It has been half a month since I left the supermarket, so it is natural to have a new job.

"What time do you get off work?"

The other end was silent for a moment, before saying, "You are looking for me...what's the matter?"

Qian Duo leaned against the wall and squatted down. His originally calm heart suddenly became turbulent because of these words. He buried his whole face in his knees and felt that it was difficult to breathe.

"Lin Yi...can we clear up our suspicions?"

As soon as he finished speaking, there was a 'beep' in his ear, indicating that the call was terminated.

With the mobile phone still attached to his ear, Qian Duoduo chuckled a few times, tears streaming down his face.

He felt wronged and scared, afraid that his name would disappear from Lin Yi's world, that one day, Lin Yi would forget him in this indifference, and he would eventually forget himself just like him Also forget Lin Yi.

Why do those things that have no results happen at any time? Is it to fill up the days, or just to forget the arrival of this day, so that we can witness our freedom?

Before he learned about the matter between his eldest brother and Lin Yi, he had every reason and confidence to hold on to a thick skin and spin around Lin Yi, because he had no guilt or jealousy in his heart.

But now everything is different.

From the beginning of the domineering declaration to the other party, he has absolute exclusive rights to himself, and then he is inseparable all day long like a lover. He always thinks that this person really belongs to him, and his heart is like falling into quicksand, and he delivers it little by little. into his hand.A lot of him think that even today, it is not because of himself that he has become a phantom.

He sat down on the steps in front of Lin Yi's house, like a homeless man who couldn't find a home, watching the night as the time passed away, but the person he was waiting for never came.

The sensor light in the stairwell was turned on several times, and some of the residents downstairs were going upstairs. Every time he raised his head, every time he looked down, the disappointment piled up layer by layer, waiting until he was a little disheartened .

He was familiar with a person to a certain extent, and he could tell it was him just by the sound of his breathing and footsteps, so when Lin Yi walked to the fourth floor step by step, Qian Duoduo knew that the long wait had finally come to an end.

And what will happen after this full stop, he has no certainty at all.

Lin Yi was wearing the work clothes of Meituan Food Delivery, holding a helmet in his hand, and Qian Duoduo looked down at him, only to see the light cast a halo on his head, and the imitation for many days was finally relieved.

When they arrived at the corner where the third and fourth floors meet, the two faced each other. Lin Yi had a tired expression on his face.

Qian Duoduo looked at him steadfastly, but there seemed to be a stone grinding back and forth on his chest.

"Why did you hang up on me?"

Lin Yi went upstairs, walked past him without looking sideways, took out the key and was about to open the door, Qian Duoduo grabbed him: "Answer me, why did you hang up on my phone?"

"Why can't I hang up on you? Who do you think you are?" Lin Yi twitched his hand violently and looked at him coldly.

Qian Duoduo was defeated by his eyes, and his tone softened immediately: "Then answer my question just now, can you... clear up your suspicions?"

"Clear the past?" He turned his head away with a chuckle, Qian Duoduo said these four words so lightly, was it to let him forget about the past ten years of wandering, or to let him forget that he was Qian Nanshan brother?

He couldn't do either.

When he turned his head, he had a different expression on his face. He stared at Qian Duoduo: "A minor with no education or diploma, only 300 yuan stolen from his father, went to a different place where he was born. I lived in a familiar city, slept on the road and starved, and was dirty like a beggar. Several times I felt that I would die outside.

To find a job, not to mention the low salary, not only to wash all the dishes in the restaurant, but also to wash the clothes of the owner's family, to do the cheapest job at the most vigorous age, with a lot of money... Tell me, all this is Who caused it? "

"sorry."

Lin Yi turned a deaf ear to these three words, and burst out all the resentment accumulated in his heart over the years: "There is one thing you may not know. When I was most desperate, I went out to sell it. I want to accompany those who just look at it. The middle-aged and elderly men who vomit sleep, and I have to do what they tell me to do. I am voluntary, but I am also fucking tricked into voluntary, because I want to live a good life, I want to live a normal life, but you Guess what, I got fucked for half a month and only got 500 yuan."

"Lin Yi..." The person in front of him was hysterical.

Lin Yi wiped his face indiscriminately, and continued hysterically: "I know that the damn restaurant owner is not Qian Nanshan, those people who used money to lure me into losing myself are not Qian Nanshan, and all the things I have encountered in those years have made me grow up. It's not Qian Nanshan, I also know that I shouldn't blame him for all these things, but every time I suffer from these things, the name Qian Nanshan will appear in front of my eyes..."

Qian Duoduo grabbed his shoulder, trying to calm him down, but before he knew it, his emotions also became agitated: "But he's already dead..."

Lin Yi suddenly fell silent, and the flames in his eyes suddenly dimmed.