Lost Dreams

Ruan Yu went to Chongqing for the first time, already a year after Manqing moved.She got off the train with her luggage. The green cheongsam was printed with the leaves of the trees. The high heels stepped on the damp soil of the mountain city. Even the air was filled with the spicy smell of sea pepper. She sneezed and sat down until Manqing sent to pick her up to her car.

Ruan Yu didn't look at the scenery along the road, she was obviously flustered.This time I came to Chongqing not all to meet Man Qing, but when I got off the bus, I forgot all about my mother's entrustment, and Man Qing was always the only one left in my heart and mind.She didn't recover until the car drove further and further away.

After calming down completely, Ruan Yu began to reflect on herself.How can you still be so spineless?In the year after Man Qing left, she never took the initiative to send her a letter, and she may have taken it as a sign of being abandoned.After all, he said that he was going to leave her, but he still couldn't drag himself out of that emotion. Even though he knew that she opened a brothel and went to have fun every day, he still wanted to love her and miss her, what a shame!I have reminded myself that I have to keep my dignity, but I still break through the lower limit again and again to accept her.Mingming's heart was scratched and riddled with holes, but she still begged for her abuse, and hurting was also half a sign of love - she lied to herself like this.

The car drove into a small road full of green trees.Ruan Yu suddenly remembered that night many years ago, when Man Qing kissed her secretly in the grove.At that time, I was happy, even though I was frightened like cheating, I was still happy.past!past!Now she feels more and more unreliable about the past!Who knows when Man Qing started to cheat on her - maybe it was the beginning!She felt more and more that Man Qing never loved her.

When the car stopped at the gate of Zhao Mansion, she had completely quieted down.I thought more thoroughly along the way than I did in that year, perhaps because I didn't have nostalgia for trouble.A servant came to help her get her luggage out of the car, and the maid led the way.Someone came to report, trotting out a layer of fine dust, Ruan Yu got out of the car and walked forward step by step.

Within a few minutes, Man Qing appeared in the hall, looking at her quietly.Ruan Yu's eyes were wet, her footsteps were soft, and her heart that had been quiet just now began to tremble.She clenched her fists tightly, her nails digging into her palms, excruciating pain.She is restraining herself to stay rational, not to be dazzled by love, she wants to tell herself that everything is a scam by Zhao Manqing, and she should not be fooled by such a scam anymore!She wants to strengthen her determination, and she wants to drag herself out of the swamp of love and desire.

Man Qing sat in front of the table of the Eight Immortals and asked the servant to make tea.The dark blue cheongsam she is wearing today has a deep beauty.Since she got married, she has always deliberately avoided bright colors, and intentionally made herself look like a wife.Although she opened a brothel, she never went to have fun. Outsiders always rumored that she favored a girl, but it was just a kiss and a chat, nothing else.There may still be a small part of her heart that loves Junzhu, and a small part that regards Ruan Yu as the only person who can contribute her body—she has completely forgotten what she did during the time when she and Ruan Yu broke up —and therefore never promiscuous.It took her so long to be pure-hearted and ascetic, which made her feel a little flustered when she saw Ruan Yu—this is how she explained her excitement.

This was Manqing's first meeting outside of Shanghai since she came to Chongqing. Due to her busy schedule, she didn't even communicate much.The number of times Manqing came back to Shanghai was not too many, and they only met for one or two nights.Manqing occasionally misses her student days, Yunzhu, and Ruanyu.Sometimes she wonders whether she still loves Ruan Yu—or, in other words, has she ever loved Ruan Yu.She put Ruan Yu in a special position in her heart, but she never showed it in her actions.

The cook brought from Shanghai cooked a table of meals for them. Ruan Yu sat across from Manqing, biting the rice, and talking about something that didn't match her.She felt that Man Qing's attitude was changing, but she forced herself not to think about it.She feared another spell, a honey-scented trap.Man Qing didn't need to go to the company today, so they went out to watch a movie after dinner, just like ordinary friends.Just wait until the sun sets in Shanxi, the stars hang high, and the candlelight flashes two intertwined bodies.Ruan Yu snuffed out the candle with her fingers during the kiss, but Man Qing didn't see it.She was reminding herself of Manqing's ruthlessness with pain.

When the two woke up the next day, it was already noon.Man Qing kissed her forehead lightly and took her down for dinner.Ruan Yu smiled, but cursed in her heart.She has seen Man Qing's tricks clearly, and she is determined not to be fooled again.

But Man Qing felt that she fell in love with Ruan Yu again. She should have been a quiet, elegant flower, and shouldn't be too intense and overwhelming.So yesterday, Ruan Yu's seven-point intimacy and three-point alienation made her feel comfortable, and it was the look that made her obsessed at first—she didn't think about whether Ruan Yu decided not to love her at all.Because of her joy, she became very close to Ruan Yu, but she never thought that all this had already changed in Ruan Yu's heart, and her disguise had been torn apart long ago.

Ruan Yu lived in Zhao Mansion for two days, and did not leave until Manqing got busy, to visit relatives in Chongqing—this was her main purpose.When someone from relatives introduced her a partner, she seldom hesitated, and finally agreed—she was determined to make preparations for leaving Manqing.

Relatives arranged for her to be a teacher, and the family also opened a mine, with a rich background.The husband is teaching in Shanghai, and this time he came to Chongqing to study, so I met him.Ruan Yu made an appointment with him in a coffee shop in the corner, and chatted about trivial matters. The husband said that his surname was Chen and his first name was Bitumen.Ruan Yu was taken aback by the blue characters, but he recovered quickly.Because the two were too similar and had similar interests, they quickly became acquainted and were no longer awkward.The husband has a handsome appearance, which matches Ruan Yu, so he came and went to make an agreement to return together.A lovely dinner.When the relatives heard her feedback, they were all happy from ear to ear.

"Mr. Chen is not bad, right?" the relative asked her, "I said you are a match! You are too, and you are not young anymore. It's time to start a family!"

"You persuaded me to get married just after we met? Then I have to see a few more people, is it okay?" Ruan Yu replied with a smile.On the way back, Ruan Yu asked Chen Liqing to accompany her and laughed all the way. Man Qing offered to send her off, but she refused. She wanted to fill her empty heart with content, and she wanted to regain her confidence, her arrogance, and her capital.Even if it all comes at the expense of another person.She is determined to learn to love Chen Liqing.

Manqing was able to see Yunzhu again when he was 30 years old.When Ruan Yu heard the news in Shanghai that Junzhu was going to be entrusted to Manqing, she immediately felt relieved and couldn't stop laughing.The letter Man Qing sent her was thrown into the bucket by her, and she burned all the love in the whole drawer—including the first one.Now she felt that she could give up calmly.Mr. Chen said he wanted to marry her, and she decided to consider it.

It has been three years since I met Chen Liqing, Ruan Yu always thinks that she has not let go of love, because she still has attachments and illusions to Man Qing, even if she says hard that she is going to fall in love with someone else Even now, there is still no way to get rid of Ai Manqing's spell.She still fantasized secretly in her heart, dreaming that Man Qing would love her back, and because of seeing Man Qing and her being too close in the past three years, she seemed to return to the time when they first fell in love. She missed that kind of purity, that kind of love. like.But always because I have suffered, been sad, and angry, so I will subconsciously resist, and put a layer of film on myself, a diamond blouse, to resist Manqing's tenderness.

This time Yunzhu's visit made her suddenly sober.In these three years, she finally understood that Man Qing actually had love, but it was for other people after all.Junzhu is the white moonlight and cinnabar mole in Manqing's heart.She couldn't downplay this feeling, because it was too deep.All her hatred towards Manqing now has an outlet, and she finally has a reason not to love Manqing anymore, and this reason is Yunzhu.

When Jun Zhu stepped on the train to Hong Kong, Ruan Yu finally shed tears for the last time in the past two years. Freeze and let it expire.