jealous tail

Getting myself drunk in a loud and vulgar little bar, I drank into a pool of mud, threw thousands of dollars to the bartender, and walked out with the wall.

It's a good thing this world isn't full of gay people, otherwise I would probably be played badly for my appearance.

I went to the hotel, the alley was very dark, I fell to the ground, my lip was broken, I licked the blood, and stubbornly blamed Du Tingwei.

Liar, say I'm here and never let you fall, liar.

I just stood up for two steps, stepped on the lace of my right shoe with my left foot, and dragged myself to the ground. I hugged the back of my head and cried on the ground, embarrassed and ridiculous. I suddenly realized that Du Tingwei hadn’t lied to me.

The reason I fell was because he wasn't there.

And why is he not there, I pointed to my heart and asked myself, tell me, Xia Zhushen, he is fine, why is he not there?The cavity was so empty, no one answered me why Du Tingwei was not there, and no one answered me, where did Du Tingwei go, he disappeared, I couldn't find it at all, and I didn't have the courage to look for it.

I didn't even dare to look for him, I didn't even have the courage to yearn for him.

The tears I cried on the ground choked the intake pipe, and I punched myself on the ground, my cheekbones hurt, and I choked and coughed.

I regret it, I regret it to death, I want to hug his trousers to make him feel sorry for me, but I can't find Du Tingwei, I dare not find Du Tingwei.

The bottom layer of the box contained a pair of shoes. Du Tingwei, who was so clean, kept the pair of shoes with mud spots. The pair of shoes I recognized, the pair of shoes that I will never forget.

Left foot "saint", right foot "devil".

The terminal handed me candied haws, kept me alive, and held an umbrella for me. They were all Du Tingwei. The second heart palpitation was caused by him, and the third heart palpitation was caused by him, except that the corridor was flat in the rain that day The strange golden leaf elm, the rest of the fate and encounter are all due to Du Tingwei.

I asked myself why I couldn't recognize him, why I had to miss him one after another.

Obviously there are so many small differences between those eyes and Jinyeyu's, obviously he used the words "maybe maybe maybe" so obviously, obviously there are so many hints around him.

I bit the tip of my tongue until my mouth was bloody, and I deserved to say it a million times.

Why can't I recognize it, why I'm stuck in the little details, and I don't want to take a good look at the people around me, why do I dare to easily confirm that the second and third times are Jinyeyu just because of that hateful and hateful first meeting? Ah, why don't you doubt it when all the movie tickets are found.

Obviously it can be avoided, the injuries of the three people can obviously be avoided.

Xia Zhushen, don't you claim to be bright and hearing, why are you blind, why are you deaf?

If we had been a little more careful, he and I would not have come to where we are today, and we would have been as happy and consummated as in my dream.

We would have our own little yard where no one would bother us, and it would be filled with rhododendrons in all colors, and birds would come and peck them, maybe the blue cuckoo we had seen together.

On summer nights, we do not turn on the lamp, but light a candle, and swear in the light, and the shadow is elongated by the candle.

We promise to be together in this life, never leave, and then spend a lifetime happily, to die for each other, and grow old together.

Obviously, there are no variables at all.

But I have nothing now, and I don't even have a chance to start over. Du Tingwei doesn't want to see me, he doesn't want to like me anymore, he doesn't even want to see me.

I beat my chest and asked, why, why did I miss one time, and I missed the second time, and I missed the third time, obviously the box is under the bed, obviously he is by my side, as long as I ask, as long as I pay attention, We won't go this far either.

My tears pooled in puddles, and my clothes were soaked.

He knows everything about me, he knows that I am a cold-blooded murderer, he knows that I am a bastard who does not recognize his six relatives, he has witnessed the whole process of my killing my father, but he still dares to love me, he still dares to say that he loves me .

Say love to a man with blood on his hands, idiot.

"The roads in this world are so dark, yet he still walked alone."

He has known for a long time, he has known how dirty and dark my world is, he has known how I endure my pain, so he still dares to care and love me meticulously by my side, holding me like a baby with.

He's a jerk, and he really wants me to be without him.

The wine flowed back in my nasal cavity, and I grabbed my heart so painfully that I couldn't breathe, and curled myself into a small piece.

"Du Tingwei, I hurt, I hurt so much, come back and see if it's okay, just take a look, just take a look, don't you hate my pain the most?" Look at me, look at my ugly face Look, whether you are joking or mocking me, can you just come back and take a look at me.

You let me see you, I really miss you.

My consciousness is already blurred, and I can't even recognize my five fingers when I stretch out my hand.

Close your eyes and open them, close your eyes and open them, and count to judge yourself.

But when I opened my eyes for the fifth time, there was a shadow in front of my eyes.

I looked at him suspiciously, Du Tingwei really came, he really appeared, the living Du Tingwei, the real Du Tingwei, he really appeared.

He patted my shoulder, he asked me, what's wrong with you.

I suddenly got up and hugged him, wiped my tears and snot all over his body, the alcohol paralyzed my nerves, I couldn't smell the smell on him that made me miss him day and night, so I could only use all my strength to trap him .

But he didn't hug me, he still wanted to break free.

I was so nervous that I yelled, "I made a mistake and I can correct it, why throw me away."

I'm just being a rascal, I know it's all my fault, but I'm thinking, if Du Tingwei speaks like this, will Du Tingwei, such a kind person, stay because of groundless accusations and guilt in his heart, even if he knows this? The matter has nothing to do with him.

But he became smarter, he didn't take this trick anymore, he said, let go of me first, his tone was so indifferent, I was so flustered, my nails seemed to be stuck in my heart.

Is he bored of me.

He was still saying something with his flirtatious mouth, I could only pounce on him impatiently and kiss him, so that I wouldn't hear what I didn't want to hear.

But he even avoided his lips and swiped across his face. I felt pain in my heart again. I remembered the way he asked for a kiss and I avoided him. It turns out that being rejected by the person I like is such a heartbreaking thing.

"Aren't you even willing to touch me?" I bit him stubbornly, but he grabbed my neck, and he said don't come again, I'm not the one you want.

He pinched me, he actually pinched me, he turned out to be someone I would feel sorry for if I lost a single eyelash, he actually pinched me.

As if the meridians of my whole body had been severed, I asked him with red eyes, "Why won't you love me?" The bed in my heart was broken, and the words I said frightened myself.

"I remember when you loved me, it seemed more passionate than anyone else."

I am afraid that he will become the second Golden Leaf Elm, and I am afraid that he will forget everything between us.

"Do you remember the past?" He shook his head, I felt like I was going to collapse, he didn't remember, he didn't remember our past.

How can I not remember, that was our past, there was only one time, I can never find a second one in my life.

"You don't remember, good and bad, sweet and sour, only I care about it, and I am the only one who guards it."

Birds took off from overhead aerials, shaking off the morning rain.

The cold water drops fell on my eyelids, I suddenly woke up, no, Du Tingwei is not like this, this is not Du Tingwei.

My Du Tingwei can't be like this, how can I say this and do this, no, I don't allow it.

Such a person can only be Jin Yeyu, because he has done it before, but Du Tingwei will not do this, so this is not Du Tingwei, this is Jin Yeyu.

I just thought about it, telling myself that this is the golden leaf elm, and then I looked at his outline, and it looked more and more like a golden leaf elm.

Ah, it's Jinyeyu, that's fine, don't want me, just like what he did, and what I did to him, that's fine.

I was completely drunk, and seriously interrogated Jin Yeyu, asking all the things that I couldn't ask, had no face to ask, and had no chance to ask when I was awake.

I've wanted to do this for a long time, but my mood is different. I probably still wanted to ask him why he left with others before, but it's different now. Now I just want to make a break.

I have a strong sense of ritual, and I hate that village, but I agree with the customs in the village. It may be subtle, or it may be a guilty conscience. There is a saying in the village that ghosts linger. I will be reincarnated, and I have to bid farewell to the past in order to be a clean and pure Xia Zhushen.

I was afraid that my former self would curl up and not go away. I felt that I had been threatened by misunderstandings and teased by fate. I looked like a ghost who died unjustly. Probably only by giving myself an answer can that bastard disappear with peace of mind. Only Jinyeyu can start over with peace of mind.

So give yourself an explanation to the one who liked Jinyeyu, and give Jinyeyu an explanation, let's make it clear.

Whether it's a misunderstanding by accident, or just passing by, the self who liked Jin Yeyu, I forgive him from my perspective, and he forgives me from his perspective, give me the ignorance of the past, and give him the dissatisfaction of the past. Well, a formal farewell.

He was still listening to me, but I talked too much, he didn't know if he became angry from embarrassment, or he was bored and bored, and finally knocked me unconscious.

Later, he seemed to carry me to a chair, and then it seemed that a security guard came, and he took out my mobile phone to make a call, but there was only one of my contacts.

Who did he call? I was dazed and didn't know anything. When I was in a trance, I felt that I was lying on a very soft bed, the quilt was very warm, and there was a fragrance in the house, a very familiar smell.

But I had nightmares again, very strange dreams, terrible.

I dreamed that Jin Yeyu stabbed Du Tingwei with a knife, Du Tingwei was covered in blood, my hands and feet were tied, I cried and begged for Jin Yeyu, and called out his name, Jinyeyu Jinyeyu.

But my throat was pierced by him suddenly with a knife, and the sentence "Please let Du Tingwei go" also turned into a whimper.

Suddenly the sound of the violin sounded, very gentle music, like a lover whispering in the ear.

Then the nightmare changed, the blood was gone, and there was a breeze blowing. I lay on Du Tingwei's back, holding the windmill, and the windmill kept spinning in the sun without stopping.

After listening to this piece, it turned into a concert again. I waited for the next piece, but the sound stopped, there was no next piece, and there were no musicians on the stage. I got up in a panic and wanted to go to the stage. I was looking for a musician, but I couldn't get out of the auditorium no matter how I walked, and finally fell asleep on the seat exhausted.

Someone stepped on the plastic bottle, I was finally woken up by myself, and I sat up on my little broken bed sweating profusely.

There was no one in the room, and the wind outside the broken window was still blowing in. It was obviously not cold at all when he was asleep, and the violin was hung on the wall, and its position had not moved at all.

I lowered my head in disappointment, not knowing why I was going crazy.

As soon as I withdrew my hand, I reached for my phone beside the bed. Its screen was on and it was playing silently, the movie we had watched twice.

With trembling hands, I turned the volume of the phone to the maximum, and wept with joy under the early morning sun.

"I will return, find you, love you, marry you, and live without shame."

Kong: I was assigned to the official and the mother refused to give it. You let me go through the motions back and forth. Did you give me the money?Picked up one after another, all the fuck's up for it!